by Marie Hall
“C’mon, then, girl,” Roman called out, slapping his hand on the truck door. “We’re already gonna be late for the previews thanks to you.”
She stuck her tongue out at him and when Julian extended his hand for her to take it, she took it.
Reveling in the feel of his firm hands, so different from her soft ones. His touch lasted just a second longer than it should have, but she wasn’t in a rush to free herself of him either. And when he squeezed the tip of her thumb, she squeezed his back.
She wasn’t sure what they were saying, but they were definitely saying something.
The truck took off and she was glad she’d clipped her hair back and decided to wear the white capri pants instead the floral skirt. With how windy it was tonight, Julian would have caught several flashes of underwear. Which he probably wouldn’t have minded, come to think of it.
Neither one of them spoke, mostly because of how dark it was. But she felt his stare all over her.
She couldn’t help but wonder where Mandy was. Was it just going to be three of them tonight?
Deciding she needed to know, she asked him when they stopped at a red light. “Where’s Mandy?”
He made the sign of breaking up and her eyes widened.
Had he broken up with her? For real this time?
She would have asked him more, except the light had turned green and it was once again too dark to have a conversation. They could talk into each other’s palms, but she wasn’t sure she was ready for that level of intimacy just yet.
The drive to the theater was probably one of the most intense fifteen-minute rides of her life. So much so that by the time they pulled into the parking lot, her thigh muscles were popping and snapping like Mexican jumping beans.
Let things happen as they would. That was her new running mantra. If it was meant to be, then it was. And if it wasn’t, then it wasn’t.
She went back to school in a week, and Julian’s life was completely up in the air. She knew nothing about his plans, where he was going, what he was doing. For all she knew he’d be staying in Sunny Cove and bagging groceries. She really just had no clue.
That stupid “ships in the night” analogy came back to her then, but she was determined to have a good night and to take her mother’s advice and stop worrying about things that couldn’t be changed.
“Thank you,” she said to Julian as he helped her from the truck, and she might have kept her hand in his forever if she hadn’t spotted Mandy glowering at them from beneath the neon marquee sign.
He must have spotted her at the same time, because a growl slipped from his throat. Dropping her hand, he marched over to Mandy just as Christian moved to join her.
“That psycho bitch needs to learn what ‘over’ means,” Chris snapped.
Feeling as though she’d just swallowed a ten-pound bag of rocks, she shrugged. “Let’s just go get our tickets, okay?”
Elisa tried not to stare at them, tried to respect their privacy, but when she saw Julian gesture, “We broke up,” her brain suddenly seemed to stop sending signals to her feet to keep walking.
Mandy may not have been able to sign, but judging by the way her eyes drilled holes into him, Elisa knew she’d understood the meaning.
As if aware that Elisa was there, Mandy twirled on her. “Dirty whore!” she spat, causing several couples to stop and stare at them wide-eyed.
Roman tossed his arms out wide and stepped in front of Elisa. “Go away, Mandy, he dumped your ass. Get a fucking clue, how about that?”
Julian was trying to get a grip on Mandy’s shirt, but the girl was beating a warpath that headed directly for Elisa.
Elisa dug her fingers into Rome’s teal polo shirt.
“You perverted freak,” Mandy rushed her, but again Roman blocked her.
This time, Christian also came to his brother’s aid and helped tug Mandy back.
Elisa’s nostrils flared, aware of the scene they were making. Aware of all the eyes and faces staring at them. Her cheeks flamed scarlet as her blood pressure rose.
She could defend herself, but really, what could she say that wouldn’t make it worse? Julian’s eyes were dark and heavy as they gazed on her. It was easy enough to read his anguish of the situation, which only made everything about a million times worse.
“Yeah, I don’t care if they hear,” Mandy yelled, trying to jerk herself free of Julian and Christian’s hands. The boys were tugging her away from the main entrance of the theater, around toward the side where the crowd was thinnest.
But Mandy was far from done. “You just couldn’t take it, could you? Had to come back for more, you nasty ho. What, men your age just don’t do it for ya? You into kiddie porn, too?”
“Enough,” Christian roared and gave her a rough shove back. “You’re a girl, so I won’t punch you for saying that shit, but—”
“But what?” she spat as she adjusted her black corset top.
“You keep it up”—he got in her space—“and I’ll conveniently forget that my mother raised me to have manners.”
Her snarl was full of piss and vinegar as she shook her head. “She’s the fucking pedophile and you guys come at me. Nice. Just wait till I tell everyone.”
“Oh, fuck off, Mandy,” Roman snapped. “We’ve already graduated, that schoolyard crap doesn’t mean shit to us anymore. Get the hell away from here and don’t come back. Ever.”
Mandy twirled on Julian, and as much as Elisa hated to admit it, she saw the hurt and pain mingled inside the rage. It was why she kept her mouth shut, not because she was scared, and not even because she didn’t deserve it—because whether Mandy believed it or not, Elisa had never meant to hurt her—but because Mandy was hurting as bad as she was.
Elisa knew what it was to feel that kind of pain. So she swallowed her words and allowed herself to look like a coward hiding behind Roman’s back when the truth of it was that she was angry too.
Furious, not just at Mandy for saying what she’d said, and not even because of what Julian had done. She was angry because if life had dealt them different cards, this would never have happened in the first place, she’d have been with Julian from the beginning and Mandy never would have been at all.
Raising her hand, Mandy struck Julian’s cheek and Elisa winced as the sharp crack of it reverberated down the alley, and then, turning on her heel, Mandy walked away.
Elisa had done the same thing to Julian just a few weeks ago, but seeing someone else do it to him, it made her livid, made her see red, made her want to forget the fact that Mandy was in pain and just squash that bitch for hurting him that way.
For a second no one said anything. Elisa could only watch as Julian tipped his head skyward, and his look was so shattered that her soul ached.
“Guess we shouldn’t go to the movie now,” Christian murmured and signed it at the same time, even though Julian still wouldn’t look at him.
But Elisa surprised Chris when she said, “We only missed the previews.”
Elisa was tired of hiding, of running away from her problems.
Roman looked shocked. “Are you sure? I don’t think there’s a person inside there who didn’t see that, or at least hear it.”
Was she humiliated? Yes. Absolutely.
Did she really want to face the crowd? No.
But who where they to her?
Nobody.
She didn’t know them. And they didn’t know her.
She wasn’t a freak. She wasn’t a pedophile, what she and Julian had done, it’d been pure and beautiful and perfect. Did she regret how things had gone down? Of course. But it was nobody’s business but hers and Julian’s, and she was so over giving a damn what people thought about her.
“Roman, I came here to see some rippling muscles with guns and I’m not leaving here until I do.”
She turned when she sensed Julian’s eyes on hers. Giving him a brief nod, she turned and led them back to the theater. And even though her hands shook when she handed the cashier her card
, she plastered on a brave smile and walked inside.
The theater was crowded, but they were able to find four seats on the very front row. It was uncomfortable as all get out being forced to crane her neck the entire time, not to mention the movie had to be in the list of the top ten worst films she’d ever seen.
But at least it was easy to pretend like she was okay, because she didn’t need to talk. She didn’t need to smile, or try to be witty, or silly. She could sit there, beside Roman, and feel like it was okay to just be sad for a while and trust that he’d give her the privacy to do it in.
They drove home in silence. Julian had sat three seats away from her at the movie, and now in the bed of the truck, he was leaning against the frame of the bed, gazing off to his left with a pensive, mile-long stare.
She waved goodbye to the Wrights a short while later and when she walked back into her house, she got about halfway up the stairs before it dawned on her that she wasn’t sleepy at all.
Her parents were asleep, and she wasn’t really in the mood to veg out in front of the TV.
Last thing she wanted was to be trapped in another building, even if it was her home. So she walked back outside and headed toward her mother’s sitting area in the garden.
The moon was full and golden. The sky a deep navy blue with fluffy streaks of white dotted upon it.
Crickets chirped and bullfrogs sang. It was slightly chilly for being so late in the summer, but that sometimes happened living so close to the coastline.
Elisa wasn’t sure how long she’d been outside when she became aware of a presence standing behind her.
With a gasp she twirled around and grabbed her chest. It was just Julian.
His hair was messy, as though he’d been running his fingers through it. He hadn’t changed out of the shirt and jeans he’d been in earlier.
“You scared me,” she gestured and then frowned. “How did you know I was out here?”
He was quiet as he joined her on the bench, his palms ran along his jeans a couple of times before he finally said, “I saw you walk outside. I figured it out.”
The wind picked up his clean, soapy scent, and she couldn’t seem to help swaying toward him.
He grabbed her hand, and it was like all the nerves that led to her heart connected from his fingertips to hers. Every glide of his callused fingers over her skin made her tremble.
She swallowed hard when he finally began to talk into her palm.
“I’m sorry.”
She shook her head and he looked at her lips, waiting for her to speak to him. The moon was so full and bright that it was more than enough light for him to see her by.
Her gaze devoured him. Julian was just one of those guys who commanded attention wherever he went. And not just because of his piercings and his tattoos, but because of his quiet intensity, the way he moved through life with purpose and intent.
“It’s okay. I deserved it.”
He frowned. “No, you didn’t. She should never have said that to you. Roman told me what she said.” His jaw clenched and she couldn’t stop herself from using her free hand to palm his whiskered cheek.
A visible tremor coursed through him when she did.
“She loved you, Jules. We do stupid things when our hearts break.”
Hanging his head, he said, “Yes. We do. Like me leaving you.”
She took in a shuddery breath.
“We could never really have worked, could we, Jules?” She enunciated each word slowly so that he’d have no problem understanding her.
“We could work.”
“I don’t see how.” She sniffed as a single tear slid down the corner of her left cheek. “I’m going back to college in a week.”
Leaning forward he pressed a kiss to her wet cheek, and there wasn’t a power strong enough on Earth to have forced her to move from that spot.
“Elisa, I got accepted to two colleges.”
Lips tugging downward, she gave him a wimpy smile. “That’s good, Julian. I’m so proud of you.”
“I didn’t know where I wanted to go, so I toured both.”
Biting onto a corner of her lip, she asked him, “And where did you decide?”
“I hadn’t decided until about fifteen minutes ago.”
She cocked her head. Confused why he’d switched the subject the way he had. What did colleges have anything to do with—
She gasped. “Are you saying that—”
He nodded. “I’m going to go to Ashe College.”
She’d read that wrong, she had to have. “Say that again.”
His lips tugged into an indulgent smile. “Smile Girl, I tried and I failed, and now I’ve come to one unavoidable conclusion.”
“What’s that?”
“That home is wherever you are.”
The silence of the night didn’t tremble with tension, but instead with hope and possibility. Another tear slipped from her eye, he groaned as he swiped it away with the pad of his thumb. Then his beautiful, long-fingered hands framed her face and she knew he was going to kiss her, but there was something she needed to tell him first.
Grabbing one of his hands, she rested his palm against her throat and said, “Look at my lips, real good.”
He nodded and she shivered under the weight of his gaze.
“I. Love. You.”
He closed his eyes and this time it was his turn to shed a tear. But just to make sure that she drove the point home, she whispered it to him one more time.
“I love you, Julian Wright. I think I always have.”
And whether he understood all of what she’d said, didn’t seem to matter to him. Tugging her into his arms he did what she’d been dying for him to do since the morning she’d discovered him missing.
He kissed her with reckless, wild abandon.
Neither of them went to sleep that night, they stayed on that bench, kissing, and touching, and learning not only each other’s bodies, but each other’s souls.
As much as Elisa wanted to take him to her bed and make love until the sun came up, that was impossible right now. For either of them.
So they remained where they were until the sky turned a soft shade of peach and pink.
“Julian, I’m going back two whole weeks before you get there.” She frowned as she spoke the words on his palm.
Tracing the line of her cheek with his thumb, he smiled. “Then we wait. Because that’s all we can do. We’ve waited eighteen in a half years, Smile Girl, what’s two weeks?”
For their last few days together the two of them were inseparable. They’d find any open moment they could to sneak away and kiss and touch and dream about the day they’d finally get to come together again without the threat of parents or siblings getting in the way.
No one acted surprised by their relationship. In fact, everyone gave them looks that almost seemed to imply, Well duh, what in the hell took you so long?
When the day came that she packed up her Beetle and drove back to campus and she watched as his silhouette became smaller and smaller in her rearview mirror, those two weeks suddenly seemed like a lifetime away.
Chapter 11
“Will you stop fidgeting? You’re making me have to keep redoing your eyeliner,” Chastity growled and gave Elisa a stern look.
“I can’t help it,” she cried, grabbing hold of her stomach. “He’s going to be here today.”
Chas sighed and then chuckled, setting the black eyeliner down. Her bold magenta silk top and black slacks attested to the fact that Chastity hadn’t even bothered to change out of her work clothes before cornering Elisa and telling her in no uncertain terms that she would be in charge of her beautification for the evening.
“Lisa, if you’re worried that the kid’s changed his mind, I really doubt it. You guys have only been Skyping every night, and making goo-goo eyes, it’s really enough to make a girl nauseous.”
She swatted Chastity’s thigh.
Chas had dragged her into the bathroom almost an hour ago, p
lopped her down on the toilet seat, and taken out all manner of torture devices. Flat irons, foundation, mascara, eye shadow, everything Elisa never did to herself.
Julian was going to be here any minute now, and the thought of it made Elisa feel almost sick.
Dropping her head to her hands she groaned, which caused Chastity to shriek and slap her hands away.
“You’re ruining your makeup. You have got to stop.”
“Easy for you to say,” she snapped. “You and Luke have been together almost two years, it’s so easy for you guys.”
“Yeah, easy.” She rolled her eyes. “I don’t think so. You know he wants me to move in with him. Me.” She thumped her chest and sounded like the idea was absurd. “I mean, really, we’d kill each other. We almost did that summer he stayed here.”
Elisa’s jaw dropped. “You didn’t tell me he’d asked you that.”
“Yeah.” She smiled, and then, picking up a jar of blush, dusted a little on Elisa’s cheeks. “Asked me over the summer.”
She laughed. “He got used to your yummy cooking.”
Snorting, Chastity rolled her eyes. “He probably did, the jerk.”
But she said it fondly. Elisa knew how much Chas loved Luke, and vice versa. Luke was Chastity’s Julian. It was easy to see how sprung Chas was whenever she looked at him. Even when they fought, Elisa never worried that they wouldn’t work things out.
What they had was what Elisa wanted too. And there was only one guy in the world that she wanted that with.
Julian Wright.
“You should move in with him,” Elisa said.
Chastity shook her head. “I couldn’t do that to you, Lis, the monthly payments would be way too expensive to just bail on you that way.”
But Elisa could hear that even though Chastity was saying no, she actually really wanted to say yes.
It would have been perfect if she could have convinced Julian to move in with her, especially since he hadn’t settled into his dorm yet, it would be unbelievably convenient, but they were only just starting out and moving in together was a big deal. Huge, really. There was only one more step after that, and that was a walk down the aisle.