by Molly McLain
Can't Hold Back (River Bend, #1.5)
Molly McLain
Published by Molly McLain, 2014.
This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.
CAN'T HOLD BACK (RIVER BEND, #1.5)
First edition. June 9, 2014.
Copyright © 2014 Molly McLain.
Written by Molly McLain.
To have and to hold. To trust and to obey. To take and to pleasure... Some things just don’t come up in your wedding vows.
Off to their honeymoon in sexy, exotic Cabo, Dan and Maddie Hudson are finally free from the microscope of small town living. For Dan, a self-assured attorney, this means indulging in the all-consuming intimacy of marriage—especially the naked kind—wherever and whenever his new wife will have him.
But CPA Maddie doesn’t want to be in charge. In fact, there’s something she craves and there’s no one she trusts more than Dan to give it to her. But will pushing the envelope sexually be too much, too soon in their marriage? The last thing she wants is to make her husband regret his vows before the honeymoon is even over.
Can Dan be the man Maddie needs, now and forever? Or will her secret desires bring an early end to their happily ever after?
Warning: This book contains an über confident, dirty talking hero and a heroine who isn’t afraid to push the boundaries of the bedroom—or the beach. For readers 18+.
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
Disclaimer
Dedication
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Note from the Author
Acknowledgments
About the Author
To my mom, for being proud of me no matter what I write, and for my sister, for getting me when no one else does. Love you both big as the world.
Chapter One
“That little punk!”
Dan Hudson arched an eyebrow at his fiancée—correction, his wife—sitting across from him in the open air restaurant just outside their Cabo villa. The new wedding band on her finger glinted beneath the late morning sunshine as she swiped frantically through her phone. “Sweetie, put your cell away,” he said, placing a firm hand on her arm.
“I’m going to kill him. How dare he wait to propose until after we’d gone? I mean, look at that ring!” Maddie shoved the phone and a picture of her best friend’s shiny rock in his face.
“I’ve seen it. Pictures don’t do it justice, believe me.” His little brother wouldn’t have it any other way. Not because Josh had extravagant taste, but because he was so damn whipped that low-key no longer did his affection justice.
“You knew about this?” Maddie frowned and when his only response was a series of innocent blinks, she calmly tucked the phone into her beach bag and turned her nose up in the confident way he loved so much. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”
“Sweetie.” Reaching out again, he curled his fingers around hers and gave an earnest smile. While an engagement was always big news in River Bend, Nebraska, all he wanted to think about for the next six days was where, and how often, he could get his new bride naked. “We’re on our honeymoon. Can we focus a little more on us and a little less on what’s going on at home? Please?”
The typical pout on her vibrant red mouth softened only slightly as she picked up her mimosa. “Fine. For now. But this makes two secrets you’ve kept from me in as many months. Don’t think we’re done talking about this.”
“Two?”
“You knew Josh and Carissa were sneaking around seeing each other and you failed to share that little tidbit of information.”
“Would you want everyone in town knowing what we do behind closed doors?”
She stuck her tongue in her cheek, swirled her drink around in the glass, and lifted a creamy, porcelain shoulder. Paired with her dark hair, painted lips, and luscious curves, she was the spitting image of a sultry 1950’s pin-up. So friggin’ gorgeous. And completely his. “We’re adults with healthy sexual appetites. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
No, it wasn’t. Not one bit. Even though they’d been together for almost four years and had been having sex for just as long, he’d been anxious as hell for last night—when they were finally able, as husband and wife, to come together in every sense of the word.
Nothing had changed between them physically, but being married to his best friend brought a new level of intimacy to their relationship. He’d felt the full power of it last night—and this morning—in their lovemaking. He was pretty sure she had too.
“Damn right it’s not,” he growled. “But you can’t tell me you wouldn’t be bothered if people in town started talking about our private moments behind our backs.”
“You don’t think they were talking yesterday? Placing bets on whether or not we’d even make it out of the church before going at each other? Or speculating whether we’d sneak off for a quickie during the reception?”
“Those kinds of jokes come with getting married—it’s not gossip.”
Maddie arched a dark, thin eyebrow. “My husband being truthful with me isn’t gossip either.”
To that he gave a brusque laugh and sat back in his bamboo chair, legs spread wide. The last thing he wanted to do on their honeymoon was piss off his wife, but he’d been with Maddie long enough to know she wouldn’t let this go until he made right on what she thought he’d wronged.
Fortunately, he also knew her well enough to realize that whatever was really eating at her had nothing to do with his little brother putting a ring on her best friend’s finger.
Since this was only Day One of their tropical getaway, he’d better get to figuring out just what was going on inside Maddie’s pretty little head or he might very well spend their remaining nights alone in the hamaca on the patio...instead of making love to her in their wedding bed.
“So what’s this really about, babe?”
Gliding her thumb around the smooth rim of her champagne glass, Maddie broke away from her husband’s soft but scrutinizing stare. How to tell him—a man who, on all accounts, was everything she’d ever wanted in a partner—that she wanted even more...a single day into their marriage?
Of course, keeping her desires from him made her no better than his secrets made him. But being the strong, self-assured woman she was, she refused to show weakness. Even if it was in front of him...for him.
Sucking it up, she pulled her shoulders back and reclaimed his gaze. Good God, he was sexy, with his dark hair, dark eyes, and an air of confidence that rivaled her own. A shiver of lust zipped down her spine, igniting a familiar spark low in her belly. Oh, the things she wanted with this man...
“We’re thousands of miles from home, Dan. Away from River Bend and its gossip and rumors.” She spoke steadily, gathering more courage. Then she stood, made her way around the table, and lowered herself onto his lap. She barely suppressed a moan of satisfaction when his pupils dilated and went a little hazy. Especially when she felt the tell-tale heat of an erection lengthening against her hip. “People here can talk all they want and it won’t matter, will it?”
Dan’s hands settled on her waist, encouraging her to wrap her arms around his neck and slide her fingers into his hair. Her lips were a hairsbreadth from his mouth, his breath a hot temptation against her face, and she dared him—dared him—to take this further. Right here, right now, with at least a dozen of the resort’s other guests watching.
But he didn’t. Dammit. “Thought we had nothing to be ashamed of.�
�� His voice was low and gritty and she could tell he was on edge too, but he was too proper, too concerned about respecting her, to let them tumble over that invisible line of social appropriateness.
“We don’t.” And because she’d never shied away from being the aggressor in their relationship—unlike him—she kissed him.
But just like his palms gliding tentatively up her back, his kiss was soft and tender and not at all what she wanted. She was done with sweet and romantic—she needed hot and hard and intense. Dirty, even. Indecent.
She wanted everyone around them to witness how much she needed him. To understand the things he made her feel and to know that she’d cross all boundaries to show him the same.
She trusted him more than anyone. Loved him more than she thought possible. And she craved him in a way she’d never any man before.
Would he understand the extent of her desire? Would he feed the hunger she could no longer hold back?
Eager to find out, she pressed her chest against his, let him feel how hot and aroused she was, and deepened the kiss, moaning when he bid her entrance to taste the sweet alcohol on his tongue. When his hand twisted roughly—blessedly—in her hair, she damn near purred.
Yes! Let them see what you do to me!
But just as quickly as the kiss heated up, it ended.
“Maddie, sweetheart.” Dan broke their exchange with a breathless sigh. “What is this?”
If only she could explain without making him wonder what kind of woman he married.
No, she knew their relationship was solid. Dan had always been willing to indulge her other, less secret fantasies. Maybe he’d welcome this one as well.
But there was always the chance he wouldn’t. Maybe he didn’t have it in him, which would explain why he hadn’t acted on it thus far. And that scared the crap out of her. Worse, she feared the way he looked at her might change and, if that were the case, she’d be devastated.
Feeling like a fool, she removed herself from his arms and stood quickly, acutely aware of all the eyes that had turned their way. Exactly what you wanted, isn’t it?
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have...” Before he could try and assuage something he didn’t yet understand, she turned and hurried inside the restaurant.
Behind the safety of the restroom door, she tipped her head back against the heavy wood and let out a shaky breath. She’d been Mrs. Daniel Hudson for less than twenty-four hours and already the fear of living up to her husband’s expectations—of disappointing him—threatened to consume her.
If she was honest, this wasn’t a new development. She’d felt the pressure, the unease...the fear for months now. And, though she’d used it as an excuse, this disquiet had absolutely nothing to do with the things Dan refrained from telling her.
This was all about her. And the secrets she kept.
Bracing her hands against the cool, tiled counter, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. A new bride was supposed to glow. To radiate love and passion and a myriad of other blissed out emotions. Instead, there were shadows beneath her eyes and lines of tension drawing down her normally bright disposition.
She had to get a grip and she had to get it fast. This was her honeymoon, for God’s sake, and she was ruining it with this obsessive uncertainty.
The sweet scent of gardenias in a vase near the sink, just like the ones in their suite, tickled her nose. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, images from the night before flooding her mind from all directions. She swallowed hard against the not-so-sudden burn of desire rising in her belly and spreading to her breasts and her throat.
Maybe she had a sex addiction. She’d read about those in Cosmo a few months back and the shoe seemed to fit. But then why wouldn’t it? She and Dan were young and their sex life had always been amazing. It was only natural to want more, wasn’t it?
She wet a paper towel with cold water, pressed it against the back of her neck, and studied the woman staring back at her. She had an MBA and a successful career as an accountant; she was supposed to look uptight, prudish even. Not wanton. Not like a woman who wanted her man every which way possible and then upside down for good measure.
And then there was Dan. She’d known a few lawyers in her time that weren’t the straight arrows their overpriced suits made them out to be. But he wasn’t one of those guys. Sure, he’d indulged her experimental side a time or two, but those rare occasions had wound up being nothing more than one-offs.
She wished he would’ve enjoyed those intimacies as much as she had, because she was going crazy with a longing for a connection more intense than she’d ever experienced before. And she wanted it with her husband.
Her husband.
She met her eyes in the reflection and smiled. Finally a little color filled her cheeks and she held a palm against the warmth before tucking the ends of her dark bob behind her ears.
She loved Dan more than life itself. But was his love for her deep enough to withstand her secret longings? Or would the truth make him regret the vows he’d promised her so freely just yesterday?
Regardless of the repercussions, she needed to tell him. Or maybe show him. If she didn’t, she’d go crazy with not knowing.
She and Dan were married now. If she couldn’t trust him with every last part of her, who could she trust?
Chapter Two
“Fabuloso, Madelyn! You sure you haven’t been on a board before, bella?”
Standing back to catch his breath, Dan watched with silent amusement as Armando, their tall and tanned Puerto Rican surf instructor, did everything in his power to flirt Maddie’s wet suit right off her sexy, curvaceous body.
Hell, if he hadn’t already put a ring on her finger, Dan would probably be doing the same thing. Maddie had never looked hotter than she did today, riding a board and glistening beneath the Pacific sun. Then again, it was possible he was biased, given he’d had her naked and riding him that very morning.
Slicking her ocean-drenched hair back from her face, Maddie’s smile stretched as wide and white as the beach they stood on. The four other students—two couples—waited patiently for their next challenge while Armando continued to shower Maddie with unwarranted compliments. She’d wiped out on the last five runs, but apparently the man hadn’t seen past her tits to notice.
“You gonna just stand there and let that shit happen?” the older of the other men asked.
Dan shrugged. “It’s harmless.” He and Maddie were newlyweds and he was confident enough in his own masculinity, as well as their relationship, to know this flirtation wouldn’t go anywhere.
“I don’t know, man.” The guy shook his head. “I’d kick that dude’s ass if he was all over my woman like that.”
Nah, that wasn’t his style. If it made Maddie feel good to be hit on by some Ken doll wannabe, he’d let it happen all day long. Because at the end of that day, all he wanted was for her to be happy. And right now, she looked a lot happier than she did over brunch.
“It’s all good. We’re done here anyway.” He picked up Maddie’s towel and casually strolled over to where Armando was showing her how to properly bend her knees and clench her ass cheeks...for the twentieth time.
“Yeah, bella, just like that. Drop a little lower. All the way down to my hand.”
Aggravation emerging, Dan watched as his wife sank her pert little ass into the instructor’s too-eager palm. Of course, it was only fitting she’d lose her balance in the awkward pose and fall right into Armando’s willing arms. The instructor’s suave hands wrapped comfortably around her hips as they both fell into gag-worthy laughter.
Dan cleared his throat and drew their attention. “Looking good, babe. A few more hours and you’ll be good enough to compete with the big dogs.”
She rolled her eyes and shoved at his shoulder as she came over and let him drape the towel over her shoulders. “I doubt it, but thanks.”
Armando’s eyes narrowed on Dan for a split second before they swept back to Maddie. “Too bad you don’t l
ive near the ocean, Madelyn. You’ve got talent. With regular practice, you could be a superstar.”
Was this guy for real? Did he really think Maddie was that naïve? That she’d fall all over his praise and end up on her knees, blowing his knob?
“I don’t see that happening,” Maddie laughed. “But I’ll definitely try it again. If I can talk Dan into coming back.”
“Maybe for our anniversary.” He rubbed his hands up and down her arms and kissed the top of her head. She smelled like salty sea water and coconut lotion. Remembering the similarly fragrant scent on their sheets, his cock pulsed in the snug, wet confines of his board shorts. He had to force himself to step away and think about the mountain of legal files on his desk back home in order to ward off an untimely erection.
“You’re a lucky man.” Armando stuck out his hand and, though the temptation to kick the guy in the nuts was intense, Dan accepted it. The instructor gave a smarmy grin. “Thanks for sharing your wife with me this afternoon.”
Yeah. Not gonna happen. Ever. He didn’t share and he never would.
“Maybe we’ll run into each other before our vacation is over?” Maddie stepped between them. Smart woman.
One corner of the surfer’s mouth turned up cleverly. “Maybe, bella.”
Behind them, the younger of the men cleared his throat. “We’re not paying you to flirt, man. Either wrap it up or give us our money back.”
Armando chuckled, his dark eyes never leaving Maddie. “Guess I’ll see you around.”
Not if I have anything to do with it.
The other couples followed Armando back to the shoreline, the women more eager than the men, and Dan shook his head. What the females saw in cocky pricks like that, he would never understand.
He turned back to his wife and waggled his eyebrows. “Let’s order dinner in tonight. When we’re done, we can get straight to dessert.”
Maddie wrinkled up her nose. “I want to go dancing tonight.”