by Jo Ann Brown
“How’s she doing?” Micah was again relieved that Katie Kay was no longer the subject. Grossmammi Ella was the great-grandmother of Daniel’s fiancée, Hannah, and Daniel had a great deal of affection for the cantankerous, headstrong old woman who sometimes, while lost in her memories, believed he was her late husband.
“Better than we thought a few months ago. The memory exercises she’s doing seems to be stabilizing her Alzheimer’s. We know it’s not a long-term solution, but we count each day she’s able to recognize us a blessing.”
Micah paid for the paint and then stepped aside to let Daniel check out. When Sean walked toward them, Micah waved him back. Renewed guilt bore into him, and he knew only one way to ease it.
Katie Kay needed to go home, and he had to help her see that. He prayed God would send inspiration to show him how.
* * *
If the kinder thought she’d lost her mind as she hurried them to the van and helped them in, Katie Kay didn’t try to persuade them otherwise. Instead she made a game out of keeping hidden in the van. She heard them whispering together about surprising their daed and Micah with cries of “Boo!”
Daniel’s buggy was on the other side of the parking lot, and he wouldn’t hear the kinder from there. He might, however, notice the little ones moving about the van, so she devised excuse after excuse, each one sillier than the one before, for them to crouch between the seats.
“I want to see my pumpkins,” DJ announced, a sign he was bored with the game. He started to scramble over the seat as the unmistakable sound of metal buggy wheels and iron horseshoes sounded on the asphalt.
She grabbed the little boy by the heels and pulled him down beside the rest of them on the floor. Before he could protest loudly enough to be heard outside the van, she began making goofy faces at the three kinder and dared them to do the same. As they distorted their features into every possible shape, they laughed. She kept up the game until she knew the buggy must be gone.
Looking out, she saw Micah and Sean walking toward them. She started to get up, but this time the kinder reminded her to stay out of sight because they wanted to “scare” their daed and Micah. As she joined in with their game, she wondered how much longer she could avoid making the inevitable decisions about going home...and about Micah.
* * *
Gemma was asleep on the sofa when Katie Kay walked into the living room. Before she could ask the little ones to be quiet, they ran to their mamm and began chattering about the pumpkins they’d found. Half-asleep, Gemma gathered them to her and listened to their excitement, though her face was pale and she winced when she sat.
“Stay where you are,” Katie Kay urged. Looking over her shoulder, she added, “Sean, sit and enjoy your family while Micah and I make supper.”
“I don’t cook,” Micah protested.
She laughed at his shock at doing what was considered among the Amish women’s work. “Then it’s time you learn. With Wanda getting married soon, you may be on your own to prepare your supper.”
“Leah usually—”
“Ja, I know you depend on your sister-in-law to cook for you when you’re not eating here. However, it won’t hurt you to flip grilled cheese sandwiches while I make soup.”
Sean grinned as he took the bag of paint cans from Micah. “She’s got you there, my friend. I think your masculinity will survive giving her a hand making one meal.”
“You’re no help,” Micah tossed back but grinned. “Show me what you need me to do, Katie Kay.”
In the kitchen, she was pleased to discover he wasn’t as inept as he’d complained. He followed her directions and got bread out of the drawer, as well as butter and cheese from the fridge. Spreading the ingredients across the table, he left her the small area by the stove to cut vegetables into a soup she was making with leftover chicken from earlier in the week.
Neither of them spoke of her near encounter with his twin brother at the hardware store. She wondered if he was relieved to focus on cooking and let everything else go. She was, because she could talk and laugh with him without having any of the issues plaguing them intrude.
During supper, Katie Kay enjoyed the calm within herself. She had to make decisions but not at that moment. She listened as the three youngsters told their mamm—again—about their trip to the hardware store and their plans for the pumpkins. Gemma’s lips twitched at Jayden’s intention to paint “bluenette” hair on his pumpkin person tomorrow after church. He didn’t notice because he was excited. It would be his first time to help with the painting.
Katie Kay, along with Sean and Micah, insisted Gemma rest after the meal. When Micah offered to help clean up, Katie Kay was pleased. It was lonely in the kitchen while she listened to the family enjoying each other’s company in the living room.
Taking the plates and bowls from the table, Katie Kay set them on the counter. She frowned at the solidified cheese sticking to the top one. It needed to be removed before it could be washed.
“I’ll scrape,” she said, “if you’ll load the dishwasher, Micah. You do know how to do that, don’t you?”
“Gemma taught me long ago.”
She chuckled as she handed him the first plate, and he put it in the proper part of the dishwasher. As they were finishing, Olivia ran in and gave her a hug. Jayden did the same. She wished them a gut nacht, which made them giggle as they did whenever she used Deitsch. She edged aside as they embraced Micah and ran back into the living room. Hearing the Donnellys heading upstairs to put the kinder to bed, she reached for another plate.
“The kids like you,” Micah said.
“They are sweet and funny.”
“I wasn’t sure at first if you liked kinder.”
She halted with the final plate held over the trash can. Setting it on a nearby counter, she asked, “What gave you that idea?”
“You never offered to watch the little ones during church services.”
“I spent every waking hour, except those few at church every other week, taking care of my younger sisters. To be able to sit and listen to God’s word and not have to worry about someone sticking a finger into the washer’s wringer or trying to see the bottom of the well was wunderbaar.”
Resting his hand on the counter, he faced her. “I didn’t realize that.”
“I know. I didn’t want to shame Daed by whining.”
“Why not? All of us kids complained about our chores at one time or another.”
“But you weren’t the bishop’s kind. We’re held to a higher standard so other kinder can strive to do as we did.”
When he didn’t reply, she finished the plate. She handed it to him along with the rinsed bowls. He put them into the dishwasher.
As he snapped the door shut, he said, “I guess I should have known how it would be for you, but I never thought about it.”
“It was all we were allowed to think about.” She didn’t add that Priscilla had mentioned the need for them to be role models at least once a day before she married. After that, her older sister had repeated the words each time she arrived for a visit and every time on her way out the door.
“Can I tell you something I’ve been wondering about?” he asked.
“What?”
“Something that isn’t any of my business.”
She sat at the table and looked at him with a grimace. “Which means it’s something to do with me and the boppli.”
“How did you guess?”
“Because you act as if you’re tiptoeing through a rattlesnake nest whenever you want to talk about the boppli.”
He pulled out the chair next to hers and moved it so their knees were only an inch from each other. Abruptly she was aware of him as she hadn’t been since they walked out together. No, that wasn’t true. She was always vividly connected to his voice, where his hands were, what he
was looking at. It was the only way she could keep the barriers up between him and her heart, which teased her to reconsider what she’d said to him when she’d ended their relationship, not guessing then that she also had rung a death knell over their friendship.
When he took her hands and folded them between his, she was so stunned she didn’t jerk them back. And then it was too late because the heat seeping from his fingers to hers was delightful, and she didn’t want to put an end to it.
Ice froze her next breath when he said, “I’ve been pondering this question for a while. Do you intend to keep your kind, or are you planning to give it up for adoption?”
Words vanished from Katie Kay’s mind. Usually she had a quick answer for any question, whether it was a gentle word for a kind or a scathing one for someone who annoyed her. Now she couldn’t come up with anything to say as he asked about the subject she’d avoided thinking about.
“I haven’t decided what I’ll do when the time comes.” That was the truth.
He sighed with relief. “I’m glad to hear that because I thought you had.”
“Why?”
“You say the boppli, never my boppli.”
Did she? She hadn’t noticed that. Was it a habit, or did the choice of words have a deeper meaning? She cringed when anyone mentioned the boppli was Austin’s, whether she was among Englischers or the Amish. But she hadn’t realized she never spoke of the kind growing within her as hers.
“I’ve been praying for guidance,” she said softly.
“You have?”
“Why do you sound surprised? I didn’t leave Paradise Springs because I wanted to get away from God.”
“Then why did you leave?”
For a moment, she considered giving him the same excuse she’d used whenever anyone asked her the question. She’d been honest with him. Why not continue?
“I needed to see what else the world had to share with me. I left because I felt caged.”
It was his turn to be speechless. She took advantage of his astonishment to slip her hands from between his and hurry out of the kitchen before he could ask another question that made her face what could become a bleak future.
Chapter Ten
The following Saturday, Katie Kay sat between Olivia and Jayden on the rearmost seat of Gemma’s van. As he’d promised the Donnellys, Micah had pounded out the small dent in the front bumper. Only a few dark spots on the bright chrome remained as a reminder of the damage.
She wished she could pay for the chrome paint. She’d seen what the small cans cost at the hardware store. Her plan had been to select one and ask Micah to buy it. She’d reimburse him when she could. That, along with giving Gemma a break, was why she’d gone to the hardware store, but all her plans had gone out the window when she’d seen Daniel Stoltzfus. All she’d thought about then was slipping away without being noticed.
Her heart beat double time whenever she thought of how close discovery had been. If Micah hadn’t assisted her by distracting his twin brother, she wouldn’t have been able to get out of the hardware store unobserved. She was thankful for that.
But her heart pounded harder when she thought about holding hands with Micah in the Donnellys’ kitchen. When they were walking out, she’d been overwhelmed by the intense attraction between them, but the memory of the few times he’d taken her hand then seemed to pale in comparison with the powerful sensations that had swept through her while they sat facing each other.
Today she was also grateful the two kinder had pleaded for her to join them at the back of the van. Their request allowed her to avoid going through the awkward motions of not sitting beside Micah and DJ on the middle bench. She could have insisted on riding in the front with Sean and Gemma, but it would have been crowded with three adults—one of them very pregnant—on the bench seat.
She hoped she wouldn’t get carsick. She had once while riding in the back seat of Vinnie’s car, but he’d been making wild turns from one of Lancaster’s streets to another, laughing when the rear end slid and the tires squealed. He hadn’t wanted to stop until he realized she was serious she was about to throw up. He’d pulled over just in time for her to get out of the car and be sick on the curb.
It didn’t seem to be a problem with Sean behind the wheel. She couldn’t help noticing how much more smoothly he shifted the vehicle than she had. It didn’t bounce like a jackrabbit as it had when she tried to downshift the first few times on the way to Lancaster.
When they arrived almost an hour later at the farm where the harvest festival was being held, traffic was backed up for more than a mile. Ahead of them, cars drove through an open gate into a field past the stone farmhouse and the circular red barn decorated with Pennsylvania Dutch symbols she’d heard called hex signs. She’d been asked about them while she lived in Lancaster, and each time she’d said she didn’t know anything about them. She wasn’t surprised by the questions because many people assumed the terms Pennsylvania Dutch and the Amish were identical. The Amish were one group among the many German speakers who’d settled in southeastern Pennsylvania in the eighteenth century.
Olivia and Jayden, like their older brother, peered out the windows as the van inched forward. Finally it was their turn to edge onto the dirt road leading to a man wearing a bright yellow vest and holding a baton with a red flag at the end, who motioned them toward a long row of parked cars.
The kids laughed as the old van bounced on the uneven ground.
“Ouch!” groaned Micah when the wheels hit a deeper rut. He rubbed his head, and the kinder giggled. He gave them a fake scowl, which made them laugh harder when he asked, “Do you think it’s funny my hat might be cracked?”
“As long as it’s not your head,” called Sean as he parked the van between two pickup trucks. “If that hit the roof, you might punch a hole right through it with your hard head.”
Katie Kay joined in with the laughter as she helped Olivia and Jayden loosen the seat belts woven through their car seats. Another item she needed to get before the boppli was born. She suspected they were very expensive.
You won’t need one if you go home, her conscience reminded her. Amish women usually carried their bopplin in their arms when someone else was driving the buggy. If she were driving it herself, she could keep the boppli on her lap or make a nest of blankets and quilts on the floor to keep the little one safe.
She nodded her thanks when Micah offered his hand to help her from the van. Then she released it so she could lift the younger two Donnelly kinder out. The little ones acted as if they’d replaced their bones with bedsprings; they bounced around the adults, unable to restrain their excitement. She understood how they felt, because a thrill of anticipation raced through her, too.
Families and groups of teenagers walked between the rows of parked cars, and everyone seemed as eager as the Donnelly kids. Everyone was chatting and laughing, and Katie Kay let those gut spirits wash over her like a cleansing rain. Today was for having fun, something she didn’t want to forget how to have.
Aromas of fried dough and hot dogs, as well as peppers and onions, welcomed them into the festival’s midway. Booths lined either side of the wide walkway, where the grass had been ground into the dirt. At each one, kinder waited for their opportunity to win a prize.
However, DJ, Olivia and Jayden had one destination in mind. They wanted to take a hayride, especially Jayden who’d been too young last year to go. Until they did that, they weren’t interested in anything else, though Micah whispered he’d prefer to wait until he could get a sausage sandwich with those delicious onions and peppers.
When they reached the field where the hayrides were under way, a hand-painted sign announced rides were available, first-come, first-served. The teenage girl selling tickets leaned her elbow on one of the uprights, looking bored.
Gemma exchanged a glance with her husband
, and Katie Kay knew she shouldn’t try to catch its meaning. It was, however, obvious. Gemma wanted to let the kinder ride, but she didn’t feel gut enough.
“We’ll take them,” Katie Kay said, cutting her eyes toward Micah. “That way, you two can rest and have something to eat. And get Micah a sausage sandwich before he fades away from hunger.”
“You don’t have to do that.” Gemma’s protests were halfhearted.
“We’d be glad to do it.” She turned to Micah and asked, “Aren’t we?”
She was glad when he didn’t hesitate. “Ja. C’mon, kids. Let’s get in line so we can take our turn.”
“A sandwich will be waiting for you,” Sean said, laughing. “What about for you, Katie Kay? Do you want one, too?”
“No,” Micah answered before she could. “Katie Kay will want fried dough with plenty of powdered sugar and cinnamon on it.” He smiled at her. “Ain’t so?”
“Ja. How did you know?”
“I heard your stomach rumble when we walked by. It’s true actions speak louder than words.” He laughed, and the kids did, too, as if it were the funniest thing they’d ever heard.
Sean gave a feigned groan. “You see what I have to put up with every day.”
As Gemma checked to make sure each kind had his or her coat buttoned, Katie Kay looked at the man beside her.
Micah was grinning as widely as the youngsters. He was a gut friend to the Donnellys. She wished she could say he was her friend, too. Or did she? Was friendship all she wanted with him?
The question unsettled her, and she pushed it away. She didn’t want to think about such things while they were at the festival. She wanted to have fun.
“Danki, Micah,” Katie Kay said as they walked toward the girl who was selling tickets to an Englisch family. “I know riding around on a flatbed wagon isn’t a big treat for someone who grew up on a farm.”