Libby held up a hand. “No. Joining the gathering tonight was the easy part. Everyone made me feel so welcome, especially your mom and dad.” Being part of a family again, even unofficially, had felt good. “It was seeing all your cousins and siblings, the people our age, who are happily married and have kids.” She paused to look into Holden’s eyes. “They were all so happy. Enjoying the holiday season so much!”
He eased out of the stall and held the door for her.
Smiling in appreciation, Libby joined him in the cement aisleway. As they headed toward the barn exit, Holden gave her a fond glance and mused, “That makes you feel like you’re missing out.”
They shut the door to the heated barn and walked across the lawn, shivering in the wintry air. Impulsively, Libby slipped her hand in Holden’s and eased closer to his body heat. It was late. Almost midnight. But she had no wish to go home.
Bypassing her car, she asked curiously, “Doesn’t it do the same to you?”
Looking pleased she had decided to stay awhile longer, he led the way into the house. “Of course. Especially at Christmas, but I try not to dwell on it.” He switched on lights in the foyer, living room and kitchen.
“The fact is,” he continued pragmatically, “there are a lot of happy people our age who are way ahead of us when it comes to establishing their own families. But there’s really not much either of us can do to catch up.”
Unable to help herself, Libby teased, “Besides start dating again?” Which they were doing, albeit not very well, thus far.
Holden shook his head. “To create the chemistry necessary for the foundation of any enduring relationship. Bottom line, the spark between a man and a woman is either there—or it’s not.”
And it was there with the two of them. How well she knew that. So the question was…what were they waiting for?
HOLDEN KNEW THE INSTANT the mood changed. Her lips parted ever so slightly. Her irises darkened. Her whole body leaned toward him.
Yet even as desire surged within him, the memory of their last tryst returned. He took her face in his hands. “If you don’t want me to kiss you again…” he warned hoarsely.
Libby’s hands moved from his chest to his shoulders, before clasping behind his neck. She rose on tiptoe, her breasts brushing against his pecs. “That’s just it, Holden,” she whispered back. “I do.”
Blood thundered through his veins as he threaded his fingers through her hair, then lowered his mouth to hers. “Then heaven help us both,” he growled. “Because that’s what I want, too.”
It didn’t matter that their “dating” was supposed to be nothing more than a means to an end, a way to get them back into the habit of going out with others. Something happened when they were together. And it was more than hormones. More than grief or guilt or the need to give her a reason to live her life fully again.
What they had together was no longer obligation, Holden thought. It was…magic. It fulfilled a need that was deeper and more powerful than anything he had ever known.
And he sensed, from the hot, passionate way she was clinging to him and returning his kisses, that she felt the fierce pull of their attraction, too.
LIBBY HAD KNOWN it was dangerous to go back to Holden’s ranch tonight. More risky still to step inside the house with him, this late, with nothing on her mind except quelling the deep-seated loneliness she had been feeling.
She told herself to go with the physical part of the experience and keep her emotions safely in check.
Yet as his hard body pressed against hers, and his fingers brushed along her jaw, her skin heated and her pulse fluttered wildly. He tasted so good, so incredibly male. She moaned as his lips dominated hers and he invaded her mouth with his tongue. He kissed her so thoroughly he took her breath away, until she whimpered softly and clung to him, every inch of her tingling with need.
And he wanted her, too—she could feel it in the hardness of his body. And that left her aching and vulnerable, wanting desperately to see where lovemaking with him would lead. Despite her decision to remain unaffected, yearnings she had pushed aside came rushing to the fore. It had been so long since she had felt so feminine or desired.
Never had she been kissed and touched so gently and so masterfully.
Filled with abandon, she whispered, “Let’s go upstairs.”
“I’m all for that.” Tucking an arm beneath her knees, Holden carried her to the second floor and down the hall to the master bedroom.
Her heart raced as he set her down.
Afraid she might do something really foolish—like fall head over heels in love with him—if she didn’t set some parameters, Libby cautioned, “Just so we’re straight. We’re merely…”
Once again, he read her mind. “Practicing here?”
“Yes.”
What a relief he understood that because of their previous connections, this could never go anywhere beyond the here and now.
Holden unbuttoned her blouse and kissed her collarbone. “I am a little rusty.”
Relaxing, Libby unbuttoned his shirt, too. Tugged it from the waistband of his jeans. Damn, but he had a nice chest. Solid, warm, with satin skin and flat male nipples buried in the mat of crisp dark hair. Broad, muscular shoulders, too. She caressed it all with her fingertips. “Then that makes two of us.”
He bared her to her waist and let his glance drift over her, taking in her soft curves and jutting nipples. Exploring her breasts with his mouth, he murmured, “I’m thinking it will all come back to us.”
And come back to them it did.
They undressed each other at leisure, exploring as they went, then stretched out next to each other on the bed. Murmuring in pleasure, he kissed his way down her body. When she arched her spine, moving against him, he shuddered, too.
“I want you now,” Libby breathed, drawing him upward once again.
Together, they sheathed him. Trembling, impatient, she opened herself to his possession. Holden caught her by the hips, lifted her, and then they were one. Overcome with sensation, shuddering with pleasure…
“You feel so good,” he whispered.
So right, Libby thought, rising up to meet him. Her body closed around him, their coupling as honest and exciting as she had hoped it would be.
“So do you…”
Reveling in the freedom to go after exactly what she wanted—when she wanted it—she wrapped her arms and legs around him, drawing him as deep inside her as he could go. Making him aware of every soft inch of her, every need. And she was just as clued in to him. As he dived deep, she sighed and gasped in surrender. Then all reason fled, and they were lost in the passion—lost in each other—and the sweet, searing satisfaction.
“WE NEED MORE ground rules.”
Those weren’t the words Holden expected to hear after making hot, wild, incredible love. He sat up in bed, watching Libby rise and begin to dress.
He had always known she had a good body. However, he had never expected her to be this beautiful, naked. Her peachy skin was silky and smooth, her feminine curves gorgeous.
He eyed the mussed strands of honey-blond hair framing her face and falling across her slender shoulders as she buttoned up her blouse.
“Rules for this?” Holden asked, admiring the view from where he sat.
Libby tugged on her jeans. “Absolutely!”
Holden slanted her a cajoling grin. “Some things are better left spontaneous.”
She wrinkled her nose at him and circled the bed. Snatching her socks off the floor, she sat down next to him to tug them on.
Her feet, Holden noted, were as stunningly attractive as the rest of her. His eyes roved over her slim ankles, nicely formed arches and heels, and those dainty toes gleaming with hot-pink nail polish.
“In normal cases, I would agree.” Libby leaned forward to snag her boots. Soft blue denim molded her derriere and thighs.
Grabbing hold of a boot with both hands, she tugged it on, then changed legs and donned the other. Finished, she
rose to her feet and whirled to face him. “But this isn’t the usual situation….”
Figuring this argument could go on for a while, Holden decided to get comfortable. He reclined on one side, his head propped up on his hand. “I agree,” he said lazily, a little irked to find Libby pretending the two of them hadn’t just enjoyed really outstanding lovemaking—the best of his life, anyway!
Locking eyes with her, he stated firmly, “It’s better.”
Color flooded her cheeks. “Because there are no strings?”
“No expectations,” he qualified, determined to hold on to what they had, whether she cooperated or not.
Her brow furrowed quizzically.
“You keep saying you don’t want to be anyone else’s ball and chain,” he pointed out with as much patience—and common sense—as he could summon.
Libby ran both hands over her hair, restoring order to the sensually mussed strands as best she could. “Never mind your responsibility—out of grief and guilt.”
Holden surveyed her head to toe before returning with laser accuracy to her green eyes. “So isn’t it better if we forget trying to plan ahead and just let what’s bound to occur happen all on its own?”
Chapter Nine
It was a good question, Libby thought, and one she would have preferred not to have to answer.
“Look, Holden, I enjoyed making love with you.”
He pulled back the sheet and stood. “And I really enjoyed making love with you.”
Libby swallowed at the sight of all that masculinity. She tried not to think about the sizzling sexual promise of his body joining with hers. Forgetting for a moment how good it had felt to be clasped in his arms, she continued sternly, “But sex wasn’t part of our rebound-romance agreement.”
He grinned, striding toward her in all that naked glory. Stopping just short of her, he reached down and snagged his boxer briefs. Slid in one leg, then the other. “I agree.” He brought the gray jersey up his rock-hard thighs to his waist, a move that did nothing to disguise his eagerness to make love with her again. “It’s a totally separate clause in the implied contract between us.”
Libby propped her hands on her hips and locked eyes with him once again. “One we haven’t negotiated,” she pointed out.
“Until now.”
Was she ready for this?
She inhaled a jerky breath. Put up a staying palm. “Holden…”
Disappointment flared in his eyes. “I’m guessing you need time to think about it.”
Libby stiffened. “We both do.”
He gave her a look that indicated this was not the case for him. “You’re pulling away,” he said, his eyes darkening.
“It might be good for both of us to take a day or two to clear our heads,” she volunteered softly.
“I disagree.” Frown lines bracketed his sensual lips. “I see nothing to be gained by losing momentum. Unless—” he came a step closer, his assessing glance roving over her upturned face “—that’s what you’re counting on?” He caught her wrist and lifted it to his lips. “To get us both to a place where we can’t just pick up again?”
Skin tingling, she pulled away. “I can’t believe you just said that to me.”
He didn’t back down. “You’d prefer I be my usual gallant self?”
Libby struggled to maintain her composure in the face of all that masculine determination. “Well, yes,” she admitted.
“Sorry.” He seduced her with his deep, sexy voice. “For once I’m going to speak what’s in my heart and on my mind—whether you want to hear it or not.”
He threaded his fingers through her hair then cupped her cheek in his hand. “I enjoyed making love with you just now. Actually…” He paused to sit on the edge of the bed and pull her onto his lap. “Not enjoyed. Loved. You have no idea how amazing it felt to have you beneath me and me inside you as deep as I could go.”
Able to feel the strength and heat of his arousal, she stared at him in disbelief. “Holden!”
Arms laced around her waist, he regarded her steadily. “And whether you want to admit it or not, you enjoyed it, too.”
His honesty triggered something deep inside her, something she’d never dared face before. She tried to act with a coolness she couldn’t really feel. “You want the truth?” she countered, unsure whether to kiss him again or send him away. “I loved making love with you, too.”
His mesmerizing eyes met and held hers again. “So?”
Aware they were headed into dangerous territory, Libby said, “The fact that our chemistry is so good scares me.”
“Why?” Holden countered calmly. “You know I’d never hurt you.”
That was the problem. She looked down at her jeans and pleated the denim between her fingers. “I know you wouldn’t mean to, any more than I’d mean to hurt you. But…” Her voice caught for a moment before she could go on. “Sometimes things that happen in the heat of the moment don’t last.”
Looking as conflicted as she felt, he ran his palms over her shoulders and down her arms, eliciting sensations everywhere he touched. “Are we talking about you and me now? Or you and Percy?”
Libby slid off his lap and sat beside him. “Percy.” She sighed.
Holden took her hand gently. “I’m listening.”
She grimaced. “I feel disloyal saying it.”
He squeezed her hand before releasing it. Tenderly, he touched her face again, cupping her chin with his palm. “You owe yourself more than you owe him. You always have.”
Her emotions in turmoil, Libby vaulted off the bed once again. “I know that. But it doesn’t make it any easier.”
Holden followed her to the window, where she stared out at the bleak darkness of the night. She knew she had to unburden herself to someone if she was ever to have any peace. She wanted it to be Holden.
She looked at him and forced herself to admit the truth. “Percy married me only because his parents wanted him to get married.”
Holden did a double take. “What?”
An unsettling silence fell between them. “It came out in that last fight we had, before Percy went off to South America with you.”
Holden’s mood shifted from concerned to perplexed. “I don’t understand.”
“I told you that we were arguing about having a baby. I wanted one…he wasn’t ready. In the heat of the moment he finally admitted that. If it hadn’t been for unrelenting pressure from his parents to produce an heir that would one day carry on the family business, he said he never would have asked me to marry him.”
Holden’s jaw hardened. “That’s true,” he confirmed, beginning to see the full picture. “Percy’s folks were on his case, big-time, right before he met you. They wanted a grandchild while they were still there to enjoy one.”
She nodded, beginning to feel a little better now that this was all coming out. “And Percy thought I was perfect,” she recalled with weary resignation, reciting the facts that had come out in her last awful argument with her husband. “I was shy and sheltered enough to please his parents and be easily malleable, with no familial commitments of my own to mess with his. And yet eager enough for excitement and adventure to do most anything he wanted, too.”
“Sounds…calculated.”
“I know.” Libby hitched in a breath, forcing herself to be fair. “But I don’t think it was at the time. I believe Percy was just trying to please everyone while still being able to please himself. I think he thought it would work out. That our love for each other would be strong enough to withstand the dullness of everyday married life.”
Holden leaned toward her. “Only it wasn’t.”
“Once the ring was on my finger,” Libby admitted, “he lost interest in sex.”
“That must have been devastating for you!”
Shrugging off the humiliation, Libby rushed on. “I told myself it was normal. That all couples went through that, and we couldn’t stay in the honeymoon phase forever. And I concentrated on pleasing him in other ways.�
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Holden held her gaze. “But Percy didn’t care about home-cooked meals or a nice apartment or your devotion to learning his family business.”
“No.” Libby smiled sadly. “He wanted adventure, in increasingly risky venues.”
“Like rock climbing and white-water rafting and black diamond skiing.”
She threw up her hands. “And I just couldn’t do it. I was afraid. So—” she shrugged and moved away from the window “—I suggested he do more of those things with you, and he was happy for a time.”
“Until?” Holden lounged against the wall while she paced.
“I told him I wanted a baby.” Libby knitted her fingers together. “And then the sex pretty much stopped altogether.”
She strode forward and forced herself to continue, despite the lump in her throat and the tears gathering behind her eyes. “I couldn’t bear it if the same thing happened with you and me, now that we’ve gotten through the awkwardness that followed my hysterical pregnancy, and have started to become friends on our own.”
“Which is why you need some space.”
She warmed at the understanding in his level gaze. “Yes. I know you’ve been lonely, Holden. So have I. But I have to really think about this.” She paused and drew an innervating breath. “Before we get into a place where we could do real damage.”
“I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU agreeing to date Libby platonically was a bad idea,” Kurt told Holden the next evening, when he went over to his cousin’s house for dinner. “Setting up parameters like that boxes you in.”
Paige handed Holden a cup of coffee and shooed everyone away from the dinner table. As she led the way to the family room, where the triplets were already playing, she stated her view. “Romances start all kinds of ways. Look at ours….” She flashed a grin at her husband, then turned back to Holden. “Kurt and I absolutely loathed each other—until the triplets were left on his parents’ doorstep and I was drafted as their official foster mother.”
“True.” Kurt smiled, remembering his unconventional introduction to fatherhood. He sat down beside his wife on the sofa and kissed her temple. “Just goes to show what idiots we were.”
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