“I will,” was the only thing I could manage to croak out. “Wait,” I cried before he hung up. “One more question.”
“What?” I heard the smile in his voice.
“The hat. Are you wearing the hat?”
He snorted. “Why, do you like it?”
Nodding, I bit onto my bottom lip. “Maybe. Although I read online that Vikings didn’t wear horned helmets.”
“Mm.” His voice purred over the line, making my stomach dive to my knees. “Someone’s been studying up on me, eh? You do realize that you’ve just admitted to being in love with me?”
I laughed. “You’re crazy. I have not. I was curious.”
“Okay, infatuated at least.”
“Whatever.” I so wasn’t going there.
“To answer your question, I wear it because it seems to make all the girls go crazy.”
That snot. I was not going to even validate that with an answer. “Goodnight,” I singsonged and was on the verge of hanging up when he spoke up.
“And Jamie?”
“Yes?”
“I’ll be dreaming of you tonight.”
I shut off the phone with a happy sigh, feeling like Cinderella. But just like in the fairytale, when the clock struck midnight, reality came crashing in hard.
I got up to go to the bathroom, and that’s when I noticed the blood staining the sheets.
***
Tor
I had a rare day off from the shop, and it was a little past ten in the morning on a Sunday afternoon, but with nothing to do, I found myself walking through the doors I couldn’t seem to stay away from long.
Zoe was busy tattooing a slender blond lying on the table. Walking up behind them, I glanced over Zo’s shoulder. She was drawing an image of a swallow sailing over a fantasy-themed nautical scene.
It was actually pretty good—there was a slight distortion of dimension around the swallow’s head, but some skillful shading could cover that up so that it wouldn’t be noticeable.
I was impressed with her progress.
Sitting in Candy’s normal spot was her fiancé, Alex.
“Hey, man.” He dipped his head. “Thought you had the day off?”
Zoe’s buzzing needle finally stopped. “Hey, Viking, you looking for Ryko? Said he’d be back in two shakes of a tail’s feather.” Wiping a little lube onto her gloved finger, she rubbed it over the girl’s blood-red back before dipping her needle back into the black ink.
Grabbing a stool, I waved to Alex and shook my head as I sat beside her. “Not here for Ryko.”
“Oh geez.” She grinned, tucking a piece of hair behind her head. “Don’t tell me you missed my company so bad you had to come and see me. It’s sweet, really, but I’m already taken.”
Alex chuckled. “Damn skippy, woman.”
Snorting, I yanked out my sketchpad. “It is disgustingly lame that I can’t seem to stay away from this place.”
The girl on the table whispered something to Zoe, who pointed at the bathroom door. “Over there.”
The client’s back was a shade of cherry-red that had nothing to do with ink. Her steps were slow and painful as she made her way to the bathroom, holding the front end of her shirt plastered to her chest.
The minute she was out of earshot Alex grinned. “Virgin.”
Zoe shushed him. “Be quiet, you. Need I remind you of the big fat baby tears you cried when I—”
Jogging over to her, Alex bent and gave her a kiss, stealing the words she’d been about to say, and I chuckled at the sight of them.
Zoe sighed, patted his chest with a dazed expression, and then winked at me. “So what’s really up with you, sexy Norseman?”
“Heeey.” Alex gave me a mock glower. “I should hate you, dude, she’s always calling you shit like that.”
She just laughed. “I only do it cause you punish me afterwards.”
Waggling his brows, Alex gave her a gentle shoulder massage. “Anyway, how’s it going, man? Been a minute since I saw you last. Hear you’re getting it on with my woman’s BFF.”
Zoe slapped his thigh. Alex grinned and jumped out of the way when she tried to swat him again.
Flipping open my sketchpad, I shrugged. “Don’t know. I was bored today.” I wasn’t too focused on what I was drawing, just using my chalks and letting my creativity wander. “Actually, I did want to come and talk with you, Zoe.”
“Yeah, about what?” She rested her shoulders on Alex’s stomach when he finally returned back to her side.
Picking up a violet stub of chalk, I began shading here and there. “I’d like to do something for Jamie, but I’m not sure what, or if she’d think it was weird.”
“Uh.” Alex held up his hands. “Yeah, I’m no good at this sharing time thing, I think I’ll go grab me a Coke and fries from the lunch wagon across the street. You want something, she-devil?”
Hissing at him, Zoe pointed her finger. “You’re so gonna pay for that comment, cowboy. Get me a cherry lime slushie. Chop chop.” She clapped her hands.
Snorting, he tossed me the peace sign and walked out.
Her eyes followed him out. There was a dreamy quality to them, and while I didn’t normally give a crap about other people’s relationships, I couldn’t help but want that with Jamie. Want her to look at me like I still hung the moon, even after three years.
“So.” She whirled on me. “You talked to my home girl. Good, I’m glad. Jamie tries so hard to be Wonder Woman but sometimes she needs to slow her roll and be willing to let someone in. I’m gonna tell you something, though, Tor. I set her up with Angel, years ago. In a lot of ways I feel really responsible for the stuff that’s happened between them.”
There was a flush.
Setting my pad aside, I crossed my legs. “I think she’s willing to try with us, I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I guess for the sake of the baby. We’ve agreed to make it work. It’s just…” I sighed.
Brown eyes narrowed. “What?”
“I don’t know.” I planted my palms on the desk behind me. “I worry that I’m moving this too fast. I’ve wanted to be with her for years, and I’m afraid I might scare her off.”
I didn’t usually open up like this with others. But Zoe wasn’t just anybody either. I’ve known her for years, in a lot of ways she was like the sister I never had. My parents were dead, I had an aunt who lived in Lofoten, but that was a fairly remote fishing village in the Arctic Circle and she got terrible reception out there. When I called we were lucky to talk for ten minutes straight before the line went dead.
In a lot of ways Zoe had become my stand-in confidant.
She sighed. “Do you have any idea how romantic that is? Like, seriously. If I hadn’t been completely obsessed with my cowboy and sucked into the black hole that is Ryko, I’d have been all over you. You’re a girl’s dream.”
I laughed. Gathering my hair back, I knotted it at the base of my skull. “I’m still a man with plenty of flaws, trust me. I’m merely good at masking them is all.”
She laughed. “Viking, you might not consider yourself Prince Charming, but trust a girl who’s kissed too many frogs: your breed is exceedingly rare and highly sought after. A girl can deal with a slightly scruffy man who might occasionally drink one too many beers. There are much worse things out there.”
I studied the heel of my boot. My parents had been in their fifties when they’d birthed me. I’d been a product of much love and hope. Hope that someday a miracle would happen, they’d gone to specialist after specialist in the hopes of having me. When they’d quit trying was the day I came. Because of their age and how settled in life they were, they’d raised me far differently than other children.
I was doted on, taught to be kind above all things, to honor and cherish and respect life because of its fragility. That outlook on life, the kindness they’d instilled i
n me had gotten me far, but it’d also brought its fair share of pain.
“Hey, big boy,” she crooned. “Earth to Tor.”
I blinked, looking up at her soft smile.
The toilet flushed again.
That more than anything snapped me from my thoughts. Snorting, we said at the same time, “Courtesy flush.”
She laughed. “Man, I hope she’s okay. Anyway, you want to know what to do for her, do something with your hands. You’re so freaking skilled, write her a song, make her a painting. I promise she’ll love it.”
“But what if she changes her mind? Angel is still—”
“Stop.” She held up her hand. “Last time I checked she wasn’t having a child with Angel, she was having it with you. And on top of that, if there’s anything you can learn from her history with Angel it’s this: once Jamie makes up her mind about something, she’s like a rabid dog with a bone. I believe in my heart that things with Angel will work itself out. I don’t wish him ill; he’s had a rough life. But I do want him out of her life, at least until he gets his shit together, and for the first time I think Jamie’s actually ready to let go of the dream that she can save him. Just be there for her. If you feel half of what I think you do, show her. Don’t be afraid to fight, Tor. Just show her and let fate work itself out.”
The shop door opened. Alex stood in the entryway holding the drinks and bag of food, looking between us, the empty table, and down the hall at the bathroom. “What the hell is she doing? Taking a dump?”
Chuckling, I got up. Zoe slammed a finger over her lips. “Alex, jeez, some tact would be nice.”
The toilet flushed again. We all tried but failed not to laugh.
Moving to put my sketchpad away, I noticed what I’d drawn. A wild field of blooming heather. An idea came to me then.
“Zoe, her walls are white.”
A question formed on her brows for a split second before a smile crinkled the edges of her eyes. “Yes. Get the supplies, I’ll finish up here, and we’ll meet at her place in about an hour?”
Setting down the stuff, Alex scratched his head. “Am I missing something?”
Making grabby hands for the drink, Zoe rolled her eyes. “Always, sweetie, always.”
***
Six hours later, the mural I’d envisioned in my mind was now a reality on Jamie’s front wall. Zoe was slumped against a snoring Alex on the couch, smiling happily at the field of wild poppies we’d painted.
There were splatters of paint in her hair and smudged on her cheeks, and her coveralls were flecked in it. I’m sure I looked the same, except I’d tied a bandana around my head before starting. We’d laid down a tarp on the wooden floors to make sure we got no paint where it didn’t belong, and since most of her stuff was still in boxes, it’d been easy enough to move things to the side.
Now that we were done I was nervous as hell.
“She’s gonna love it.” Zoe smiled and nodded.
I sat down beside her, drawing my knees up and studying the realistic mural. Even from here the petals had a waxy, glistening red look to them.
“You are so crazy good. Man, I’m jealous,” she squealed, shaking her arm before dropping it to Alex’s thigh and rubbing it slowly.
Personally, I liked it. But I wasn’t sure in hindsight whether I should have done this. “You don’t think I’m overstepping a little? She didn’t invite me into her space while she was gone. Perhaps—”
“Tor.” She rolled her eyes, mock-glowering at me. “If you ask me that question one more time I might just have to stick my cowboy’s boot in your ass. This is so Jamie.”
“She did tell me she hated white walls.” I scratched my bristly jaw.
She winked. “Look, I would never let you do something to her sanctum sanctorium if I hadn’t believed for a minute that she wouldn’t go absolutely nuts for it, okay. Now, it’s past ten. My boy is drooling and it’s not a pretty sight. I need to get him home. Can I trust you to lock this place up and not go digging in her panty drawer like a stalker when I’m gone?”
I glared at her. “Seriously?”
“Sense of humor, Viking—get one.” Patting my cheek, she then kissed Alex’s lips and whispered, “Wake up, sleeping beauty.”
“Wha?” He rubbed his mouth, looking around with the dazed expression of someone who’d been roused from a deep slumber. The blond spikes of his hair stood straight up on the back of his head.
Zoe had mentioned that thanks to his master’s program, Alex was getting little to no sleep lately. There was something about watching the two of them together, how completely opposite they were, and yet how they worked on a visceral and vital level, that gave me hope for Jamie and me.
Wrapping Alex’s arm around her neck, Zoe asked him to stand. Blinking several times before finally muttering beneath his breath, Alex got to his feet, and with a final parting wave, they were gone.
My cell phone rang. There was only one person I’d pick up for tonight.
“Elskede” flashed on my screen.
“Jamie,” I said her name swiftly, full of nerves, wondering what she’d think when she saw her place.
“Hey.” She sounded more tired than last night.
Cocking my head, not liking that, I asked, “Are you sleeping well?”
“Not real good. I really regret coming out here.”
I rubbed at my chest, wanting to reach through the phone and bring her back to me.
“Baby, are you okay?” I was ready to jump in the car and go get her; Dallas wasn’t that far.
She sighed. “I just need to come home. I just…”
My throat squeezed. “Which hotel are you at? I’m coming down there.”
“No,” she said quickly, “no. God, I’m being such a baby. I’m sorry. I’m just feeling wimpy and, honestly, a little scared. I don’t know what I was thinking, coming to this thing right now.”
Clenching my molars as everything inside me screamed to go and rescue my damsel in distress, it took everything I possessed to remain seated.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come get you? Because it is not a problem.”
“You are about the sweetest man I’ve ever known, Tor, and you have no idea how much I appreciate it, I do. But it’s too late for you to drive all the way here. It would take you a couple hours, so don’t worry about it. I’ll be home tomorrow afternoon.”
I didn’t like this. I wanted to respect her wishes; my mother had been a staunch feminist and had drilled into me that a woman was more than capable of being independent and taking care of herself. But I’d also seen my mother many times depend on my father for help. It wasn’t wrong to offer it, especially when it came from a genuine place of caring.
“Just tell me something about yourself. Something I don’t know.” She sighed. “It might help me to sleep.”
I murmured the first thing that came to mind. “I had a pet reindeer as a child that I called Loki.”
Her laughter filled me up, made me feel warm. I missed her like crazy.
“Why does that strike me as incredibly adorable?” she asked. “Tor and Loki. Was he always playing tricks on you?” she teased, but I could tell her heart wasn’t really in it.
I swallowed hard. Feeling helpless. “Jamie, how are you feeling, really?”
There was a long pause of silence and then, “I’m just so tired.”
It wasn’t my imagination that her words trembled at the end. I might not know her that well, but I was attuned to her. I’d learned her through the years, being observant and watching. How her eyes would light up when things were good, and how her voice would grow scratchy and tired when they were bad. How sometimes her words would tremble with unshed tears.
I heard the same thing now.
“I should go to sleep,” she whispered. “Goodnight, Tor.”
“Goodnight.”
When we hung up I knew what I had to do. Dialing Zoe, I asked her the second she picked up which hotel Jamie was staying in.
“The Marriot on Main. Room two-hundred and seven”
Chapter Nine
Jamie
No matter how hard I tried to close my eyes and go to sleep, the fear gnawing away at me like cancer wouldn’t let me. I’d not bled any more since last night, and last night hadn’t been a lot, just a little spotting. I’d ripped into the book the second it had happened and read that it was sometimes normal in pregnancy, but that other times it could be a sign of a pending miscarriage.
I sniffed, completely cried out at this point. My nerves were shot. I wasn’t sure I was ready for a baby, and yet on the other hand the thought of having a miscarriage made me want to go fetal.
There was no way I wanted to drive home in this condition, but my plane didn’t take off for hours yet; I’d booked a later flight because I’d wanted to be able to sleep in. But even if I did try to leave, I didn’t know where in the world to go to rent a car at this hour and the thought of wandering around Dallas alone at night didn’t feel like the most brilliant idea either.
When Tor had offered to come it’d been so tempting, but this thing between us was so new and I’d not wanted to come off as being desperate or needy.
Even if I was feeling pretty damned needy right now.
I closed my eyes, but tossed and turned for the next hour. Going from feeling sure everything was going to be okay to panicked because another sharp pain would tear through my middle.
Two a.m. and no longer able to stand it, I sat up, walked to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and decided I was going to see if there were any red-eyes available.
Just as I was dialing the airline, a knock sounded at my door. And then a muffled voice cried, “Jamie, it’s me, Tor.”
Heart somersaulting, I dropped my phone and rushed over, glancing through the peephole. Shocked that it was actually him. And then immediately thrilled that he’d come. Smiling, I yanked the door open.
“Tor? What are you—”
The rest of the words were lost in his kiss. His callused palms framed my face so gently as he moved his lips along my own, awakening a hunger I’d not felt since the night of the club.
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