by Peach, Hanna
Alyx felt the blood drain from her limbs as Symon’s face, dead and lifeless by her hand, appeared in her mind. “Oh my God, Jordan. What if… what if I see him again? For real?” Her skin felt cold and it was as if a thief had whipped through her body, stealing away all her warmth with it. “What if I…” Her voice trailed off.
What if… What if she had to kill him? Could she? If it meant her life against Symon’s? Or Jordan’s life against Symon’s?
She shuddered at the contrast of Jordan’s warm hands on her face. He tilted her face so that she would look at him.
“Hey,” he said, his eyebrows drawing together in concern. “I’m not going to lie to you, Alyx. That is a very real possibility. But you won’t have to face him alone. You won’t. I’ll be there with you.”
She let Jordan pull her to his chest. His arms seemed to be the only thing warming her at the moment as she relived the feeling of her blade entering Symon’s body. It didn’t matter that he had been a ‘Shadow. She did it. She took his life from him, the man who raised her. The fact that she was even capable…
She buried her face in Jordan’s chest. She didn’t want him to see how upset she was. He would think her stupid, wouldn’t he?
She felt his voice rumble into her hair. “Have faith in yourself, Alyx. I do. I know you. Whatever you fear now, whatever it is you worry about, when it comes down to the wire you will find the strength to do what needs to be done.”
“That’s what I’m scared about.”
Jordan gripped her solidly. She felt the air rush around them. It was only when she felt the ground shift under her feet to became more springy that she pulled her head back to look around.
Jordan had shifted the DreamScape. They were no longer at Urielos. They were standing on a cliff, the grassy plain stretching back to the horizon. Here there were no buildings, no trees, no ‘Shadows around them. The windless sea rolling out from the base of the cliff reflected a perfectly round moon. The air up here smelled like salt.
Jordan cleared his throat, seemingly uncomfortable. “You can see the stars better now.”
Alyx was so confused she almost forgot to be upset. “Stars?”
“I thought that they may make you feel better,” he said. “To look at them,” he clarified. “They always make me feel better.”
“Oh.” Alyx didn’t move.
Jordan shuffled. “You could focus on the good news.”
“There’s good news?”
“You won.”
Alyx lifted up one of the corners of her lips. “Oh, yeah. I knew I would.”
Jordan let out a soft laugh. “That’s my girl.” Jordan moved his hand across the air. Then, lifting an eyebrow at her, he said, “It’ll be more comfortable if we lie down.”
Alyx looked behind them. Jordan had made a blanket appear across the ground. Alyx nodded and she lay back on the thick soft material.
Jordan lay down next to her. Close to her. Alyx became aware that the length of their upper arms were almost touching. It caused a warm flush to travel along her limbs. She turned her head to the stars before the flush could rise to her cheeks and betray her. She felt his index finger curl around hers. She let hers link back around his. A little buzzing feeling sat in the base of her stomach.
“Hey, check this out,” Jordan said nudging his chin to the sky. Suddenly a few shooting stars began to light up the night sky. Then more and a few more. Until the sky showered with streaks of light.
Alyx smiled, then nudged him with her elbow. “Show off.”
He looked over at her and just grinned. They watched the sky in silence as the last of the shooting stars faded.
“They really are beautiful,” she said. “I never used to notice them when I was a warrior.”
“Do you want to know more about them?” There was an eagerness to his voice.
She nodded, curious as to what he would reveal. Keeping his finger curled around hers, the only part of their bodies touching, he leaned his head in close to hers. He raised his other arm and pointed with his outstretched finger. From the tip of his finger flew a small blue spark that whizzed through the air, playful like a dragonfly. It flew into the sky and began tracing around the stars as he spoke.
“See the row of three bright stars there? That’s Orion’s belt. Orion is also known as the Archer. If you follow the stars around it, you can make out Orion’s legs, head, arms holding a bow and arrow.”
Alyx frowned. She could see the line of three brighter stars, but the rest of it… It just looked like a bunch of shiny dots to her. “You must have a better imagination than me.”
“I’m not making it up. It’s a proper constellation.”
“Wait, so these stars in this DreamScape… they’re not just random points of light?”
Jordan laughed softly and lowered his hand. The blue fairy light disappeared. “No. What you’re looking at is what the night sky actually looks like.”
“Wow. You must really like the stars.”
Jordan made a small humming noise as if in agreement. “I’ve studied them a bit. I like to look at them when I’m a little down on something. It’s just so vast out there. It helps me to put my problems into perspective. It makes me feel like I’m just a part of something bigger.”
Alyx stared in amazement at Jordan’s profile, noting his cheek and chin dusted with golden stubble, and his messy hair falling in a flaxen puddle around his head. This was the second time in a matter of hours that he had admitted to being less than perfect.
He noticed her staring and gave her a sheepish look in return. “What?”
“You’re actually admitting that you have feelings?”
“I get sad about things.”
Alyx shook her head.
When he spoke again his voice was quiet. “I thought you wanted me to be less… What were your exact words? Oh yes… ‘untouchable’.”
Alyx blinked back her surprise. “You… you actually listened to me?”
“It’s hard to not listen when someone is pointing out your flaws.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”
“You didn’t offend me. Actually I lie. At first you did. No one has dared to point out any flaws of mine in a while. It made it easy to believe that I didn’t have any.” He laughed. “Then I realized that you were right. And I realized that this would have to change if I wanted… if I wanted...” He paused for a moment, pursing his lips slightly. Finally, he said, “I don’t want to be ‘untouchable’ to you.”
Alyx found herself watching him with a quiet sense of awe. He had taken something she had said to him to heart and was trying to be a better person for it. She frowned. When had she last taken criticism like that? Symon had always said that she had a short temper, was prone to outbursts and that she lived with her emotions running just under the surface, the surface being a thin layer that was prone to crack.
She had believed that what was important to improve was her fighting skills, her skills as a warrior, her ability to kill, to fight, to protect. Her skills with a sword, with her fists, with her knives, but… to improve her character?
“We should go back,” Jordan said suddenly. “We should get some rest before we leave.”
Before Alyx could reply, the DreamScape went white.
* * *
After Alyx woke from the DreamScape, Jordan was already leaving the compartment that Mason had let them use to DreamScape in private. “You rest here,” he said over his shoulder. “I’ll come wake you before we have to leave.”
Alyx didn’t think she could sleep. But she must have been more tired than she thought, for as soon as her head hit the pillow she fell into a dreamless slumber.
Alyx jolted up when she heard her name being called. It was Jordan, slipping back into her compartment. She pushed herself to sitting and rubbed her eyes. How long had she slept?
“I spoke to Tobias while you were resting,” he said as he sat on the edge of the bed down near feet. “I asked him about whethe
r he could infuse our blades with my DreamWalker like he did with the Fire sword. He was able to do it, no problem. If we encounter any guards, we won’t have to kill them.”
He pulled out a sword and several daggers and knives from his belt, which Alyx recognized as her own, and lay them on the bedspread across her lap.
“I hope you don’t mind. I took the liberty of borrowing your weapons while you were asleep so that Tobias could infuse them with DreamWalker. Now, you don’t have to worry about hurting any of them.” The meaning in them was apparent: her friends or Symon.
Alyx stared at her weapons. She watched the light now dancing off the blades with a blue shimmer. DreamWalker magic. His magic. He had done this for her. When she looked up, Jordan was looking at her with a kind of hopefulness in his eyes, as if he were asking if he did the right thing.
This was the sweetest, most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for her. She was suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to close the space between them and press her face into his neck. But this overwhelming urge brought with it a nervousness and a shyness. So she remained where she was and swallowed back the ball in her throat. “It’s perfect. Thank you so much.”
A smile broke across his face.
“Did Tobias say how many hits the magic would last for?”
He shrugged. “We didn’t get a chance to test it out, but I believe it would be like any DreamWalker magic. It depends on how hard the warrior fights back. I have something else for you,” he said jumping up. “Wait here.”
He stepped outside briefly. While he was outside, Alyx slipped out of bed and moved quickly to look at herself in the full-length mirror on the inside of the skinny cupboard door. She grimaced at her just-woke-up state. She wiped sleep from her eyes and hurriedly tried to tame her bed-hair down.
“I think you look cute all messed up.”
She spun, flushing slightly at the fact that she just got caught mid-vanity. Jordan had managed to re-enter the compartment without making any noise.
He held a pale blue box in one hand, which he held out to her. “It’s for you.”
“For me?” Alyx took the box from him. It was light, wide and long. She raised an eyebrow at Jordan.
“Go on. Open it.” His voice betrayed his impatience.
She placed the box on the bed and lifted off the lid. And her mouth dropped open.
“I know you have a costume already,” he said, “but I saw it and thought of you. There’s probably not very many occasions that I’d ever get to see you in a dress like this, so…”
Laying in amongst silver tissue was a black silk gown. Laying on top of the gown was a masquerade mask in matching black silk with curling gold-lace patterns. Alyx pulled the mask out to study it closer, her finger brushing against the soft material. Placing it aside she reached for the gown and pulled it from its box. The long skirt cascaded to the floor in a shimmer of black liquid.
“Do you like it?” If she didn’t know any better, she would say that he sounded almost unsure.
“I love it. How did you get such a beautiful thing?”
She glanced over to him and caught him grinning sheepishly. “I’d rather not say.”
Alyx turned back to the gown, brushing the silk with her thumbs. “Oh, Jordan, it’s stunning,” she breathed.
She looked up to meet his gaze and a warm flush caressed the skin on her chest and neck. Then a small thread of what felt like guilt weaved through her stomach. She frowned down at the dress she held in her hands. Why would she have any reason to feel guilty?
“Put it on for me? Please?” Jordan said. “I promise I won’t peek.”
After he turned around, Alyx slipped out of her clothes. As she picked up the gown from the bed, she caught sight of Jordan’s back in the mirror, wide and solid with muscle under his crisp white shirt. His back muscles seemed to tense, as if he could sense that she was standing there watching him wearing only her simple black boy-leg briefs. She couldn’t help the flush that rose through her when she realized that just two steps – just two steps and she could have her hands and her bare chest pressed up against his back.
Snap out of it, she scolded herself as another odd sensation of guilt pulsed in her stomach. Jordan is a friend. This was not the time to be having these thoughts.
She pulled the gown over her head. The skirt flooded over her like liquid, her skin tingling where the silk brushed her like soft caresses. She fixed the fitted torso-section until it sat the way it was designed to.
“I’m ready,” she said and she turned to the mirror. She couldn’t help the gasp that left her.
The dress had fitted sleeves to her elbow to cover her warrior marks. It was cut low and square across the breasts with straps of material crossing her shoulders and neck and slits of material cut out across the torso, giving her the impression that she had been bound into the dress. The black material matched her dark hair and made her eyes seem like two emeralds set into an ivory statue. The effect was stunning and caused a small knot in her throat to form. Was this really her?
She had worn a dress before. A green thing that she had purchased from a Michaelea store. She had bought it at the storekeeper’s word. Truthfully, she had never felt comfortable in that dress. But this… this dress held her like a glove and the splits in the long skirt that she had only just noticed allowed her to move as freely as she did in her warrior blacks while concealing her weapons underneath.
Jordan had picked her perfect dress.
She turned to speak to Jordan but froze when she caught his look. He was staring at her, his mouth slightly parted and his eyes were wide like… a man who was seeing the sun rise after a lifetime of darkness.
Alyx laughed to hide her nervousness. “What? No silver-tongued words for me? No charming quip?”
The seriousness on his face never left him. He shook his head. “Even if I could come up with words fitting enough to describe how you look… they would never be good enough for you.”
Her heart thudded as a warmth bloomed in her. She turned back at the mirror and fussed with her skirt. It was too much to keep looking at him at this second.
What he said next was barely above a whisper. “You make me want to break all my own rules.”
“What rules?”
He didn’t answer.
Alyx turned her head to look at him. His eyes were lowered. “What rules, Jordan?”
He glanced up. In one powerful stride he was standing at her shoulder. Her eyes dropped to his lips as she remembered their kiss in the back gardens of Aradale after they had returned from Purgatory the first time. This time, did she want it? Her lips parted in response. She wanted it. Alyx stood frozen in anticipation, her heart threatening to break out of her ribs as he leaned forward.
But he didn’t kiss her. He leaned past her to the bed and picked up the mask. She watched him in the mirror as he stepped to stand directly behind her. He lowered his hands over her head and gently placed the mask across her face. Then he tied the black ribbon behind her head. His fingers brushed her shoulders as he dropped his hands.
“Perfect,” he whispered.
“How did you even know what size to get?”
In the mirror she could see the pull of a smile on his lips. “You forget that I’ve held you before.”
For the second time that evening, Alyx relived the kiss that they shared. And her skin flushed. Jordan must have noticed her blushing.
“Or perhaps you do remember,” he said.
She did remember… but… there had been something, some reason she had decided that she didn’t want to take things further. Or had there been? Alyx frowned.
“Are you okay?” he asked, low in her ear.
Alyx felt a shudder running unrestrained up her spine. She had not shuddered like this when Jordan had been so close to her before. Why now?
“Alyx?” This time the concern in his voice was greater.
“I’m fine,” she replied. “Just nervous, I think.”
Jordan to
ok her hand gently in one of his large strong hands, turning her to face him. Her hand felt so tiny in his. He gave her hand a soft squeeze. I’m here. You’re not doing this alone, his touch seemed to say.
Alyx smiled at him in return. She realized, at that moment, there was no one else in this world that she could think of who she would rather have at her side.
* * *
Tobias was waiting for Alyx in the small compartment that the pirates used as a medical area. He had already extracted a vial of his blood, which sat thick and quivering in his hand.
“One of Mason’s men was able to acquire this for me,” he held up a beastly looking metal gun-like object with a sharp needle at the end. “Apparently, it’s how these mortals tattoo each other.”
Alyx screwed her nose up at the thing as she sat in the chair opposite him. “It looks like it bites.”
“Alyx… I can come with you, you know.”
She placed a hand over his knee to silence him. “Tobias, I have used undiluted blood before. I know the risks.”
She remembered what it was like to have Moloko’s undiluted blood tattooed onto her and how it felt to use it when they were faced with making an exchange with Samyara. With Moloko’s blood came her fears and her cowardice. But Alyx had fought through these invader thoughts and managed not to let them affect her.
“Besides,” she continued, “it’s you. I don’t have anything to worry about with you.” She noticed a small crinkle appeared between his brows. Alyx rolled up one of her sleeves and presented her arm to him. “Ready when you are.”
Tobias leaned forward, gun poised. Then he paused. “You know, Alyx. Everyone has secrets, things they would rather not let the world know… Even me.”
“It’s okay. I can handle it.”
He looked like he was about to say something else. But then he closed his mouth and began to draw. This tattoo gun needle vibrated against her skin as he drew a ruby-colored mark on her arm. Alyx felt his blood seal into her skin as she healed over the tiny punctures that the tattoo gun made. She felt an invading pressure building and building until...
There was a throb of guilt, a guilt so old it had become part of his inner landscape. And loss. A loss so great that it still rubbed raw and red, kept hidden under the warm smile and open face. And… her. Alyx saw a woman’s face, dark hair and eyes… eyes that looked almost familiar but… the face receded into the fog.