by Drea Damara
The thought gave her a sickening feeling in her stomach as she realized the reason she was back in Farwin Wood. She had lost something; it was the only explanation. She flopped onto the bed and tried to think of what it could be, but she found the task frustrating since she wasn’t at Allister Hall or anywhere near the swamplands. Those had been the only places she visited on her last trip to Farwin Wood. Even more perplexing was why she had woken up, why she had arrived at Farwin Wood on Vasimus’s back patio. She always arrived in the glen just beyond Oedher Village. After what seemed like an eternity of scattered and hopeless thoughts, she let herself fall asleep. If she were lucky, maybe she’d wake up back at home.
THE NEXT morning, Sarah met Vasimus downstairs for breakfast. The silence between them was uncomfortable. Vasimus smiled at her several times, though not near as broad as he'd used to; there was something dark and brooding about him that never seemed to go away. She suspected his happiness was genuine, even if it was muted from the old Vasimus she remembered. Something felt different, and she couldn’t tell if it was her worry over what she had lost, the memory of how he'd spoken to her in their last meeting, or because she had been parted from him for nearly two decades.
“Your nephew, has he returned to Blinney or his home?”
“He is—on his way to Blinney, to handle things there until I return.” She was glad of her clever thinking. “It will be good experience for him,” she added quickly.
“Indeed. It is a great opportunity for a young man to learn and prove his responsibility.” He took a bite of bread. “You must trust him very much to allow such an opportunity.”
Sarah smiled at the thought. “I do actually.” She didn’t think she would have responded the same a week ago. “Vasimus, thank you for the clothing. That was thoughtful to have it sent so quickly.”
“It was Deronda’s. I am sorry; it is not so easy to call on a dressmaker on short notice anymore with the war.”
“No, of course not. I understand.” She blushed and picked at her food. “I am proud to wear her dresses. They remind me of happy times.”
“I fear I have dwelled more on what came after rather than the happy times,” he said glumly. “Perhaps having your perspective in the hall again will do me good.”
“I hope so,” she said softly and watched him smile. She thought on the topic and decided to use it to her advantage. “I did not return to Allister Hall on my way back. I should like to go there today and let Netta and Dergus know I have returned. Then I may gather some of my things.” She tried to make her words into more of a statement than a question.
“Sarah, clearly you were not well last night upon your arrival, and it is not safe for you to travel like it was before when we were younger. I shouldn’t like you to go alone, and I am ashamed to admit my men are far stretched as it is. I wouldn’t ask them to place others at risk by shorting manpower to offer the level of security you would require venturing to Oedher Village.”
Sarah felt her shoulders slump. She didn’t want to admit she was afraid to travel through Farwin Wood, but she didn’t have time to risk being kidnapped or injured by a bandit or, worse yet, one of Ranthrop’s uninformed men. Not everyone in the land would know who she was, and she had to face the fact that she wasn’t untouchable anymore after being a part of the family who had caused the onset of war. “Would a message be able to be sent at least? I could write to Netta instructing her what I would like sent to me,” she said.
“This would be wiser,” he said with a nod.
After breakfast, Sarah wrote a letter to Netta trying to explain as vaguely as possible that she had returned without knowing why, in the event the letter was abducted. She emphasized that she had lost something and that Netta should search for it in her room where she’d kept the clothing she had arrived in to Farwin Wood on her last trip. Netta was still as sharp as a tack and should understand her message. Sarah was still vexed that it lengthened her stay in Farwin Wood. She would much rather search for whatever it was she was missing herself, to give the satisfaction that no stone would go unturned. She tried not to think of what she would tell Vasimus when she was ready to leave again or what Ricky must be thinking back on Blinney Lane. She needed to get back to him. So far, she’d been lousy at familial supervision.
Sarah explored Daundecort Hall and its patios and courtyards after she turned over her letter to the messenger who had been charged with its delivery. She found the hall to be quiet and dismal. It lacked decorations in its public rooms, while others seemed to be used to hoard and store precious family relics as though they were being safeguarded in the event of a raid.
She imagined Vasimus spending his nights here over the years and conceded what a lonely, depressing life it must have been for him. Each day would have served as a constant reminder that the hall was nothing like it had been in his father’s day, yet there was nothing there to offer hope for future happiness. Somehow she couldn’t blame him for traveling down the more pessimistic road he had chosen. Falling victim to the desires of war and vengeance would have been easier than seeking inspiration amongst such haunting surroundings.
Although the grand passion Sarah had felt upon seeing or thinking of Vasimus in her youth was damaged by the awkwardness of absence and pain between the two of them, she found herself worrying the longer he was away from Daundecort Hall after breakfast. He had excused himself directly after, apologizing that he must personally visit the captains of his outposts where the vantage points of Ranthrop’s lands were best viewed. She began to wonder if he took the same route each day, and if so, how easy it would be for someone to attack him. The more time that passed, the more these thoughts of Vasimus’s well-being began to play on her fears for his safety. While time, maturity, and the seriousness of her situation might have diminished her former teenage passions, she could not deny the affection and concern she still felt for him.
When the doors of the great room finally opened, Sarah jumped up from her seat on a bench in the vestibule. She let out a hearty sigh upon seeing Vasimus’s face as he walked through the doorway.
“Sarah, is something the matter?” he asked, stopping abruptly. He approached and cupped her elbow as she held a hand over her heart.
“No.” She smiled and shook her head. For her own reassurance, she rested her hand on his other arm. “I was just worried when you did not return straightaway.”
The lines in his face relaxed, and his entire expression softened. How much more handsome he looked when he let this new guard down. Vasimus brought his hand to her cheek, and her skin tingled at the touch.
“You need not worry. I was in no danger today,” he murmured in a gentle tone.
“Today…” she repeated, her eyes fixed on his.
Vasimus slid his fingers through her hair and lowered his lips to hers. The taste of him was still sweet, but for some reason it felt wrong. The feel of his strong body against hers made her think of invincibility and the great force that it would take to smite this man. Maybe she had worried for nothing. He had survived nearly twenty years of war. Her fear over his well-being alleviated, another concern arose through the temptations he was sparking with his kiss.
As indestructible as Vasimus seemed, she knew one reality that had never deterred—his love for her. She could not allow herself to tempt him if she was able to return to Blinney Lane. It was farfetched that she could have made it work eighteen years ago, but it certainly couldn’t work now. Her livelihood and her friends were on Blinney Lane. Her nephew was currently there and as little as she spoke to Richard, she didn’t want to give up being near a phone if he ever called with urgent news. She’d spent only weeks learning about the younger version of Vasimus and she wasn’t embarrassed to acknowledge it probably hadn’t been long enough to decide to marry someone. How long would it take to learn about who he truly was now? And however long that took, who was to say they would be right for each other? She pulled her head away, forcing their lips to part.
“No, Vasimus,�
� she whispered. He landed one kiss on her cheek before comprehending her words and then gazed into her eyes. “I can’t do this to you.”
“Do what? We are older Sarah, but that is certainly something I’m sure we both still enjoy doing,” he said with a smile.
“No,” she said painfully, “that’s not what I meant. I can’t pretend that nothing has changed. I still cannot stay here.”
“I don’t care. You came back. That’s all that matters to me. I know you still love me. If you came back, you will come again. I’ve thought on it, and I prefer that now. You should not be here all the time as it’s not safe for you. I will worry about you less knowing you are far away while I fight this war.” He clasped his hands about her waist. “We’ll just enjoy the time we have together, cherish each day. How long will you stay this time?”
She looked at him and felt pain in her entire being. “Until I find what I lost,” she said.
“Lost? What do you mean?”
She couldn’t keep it from him anymore. She took a long breath and then began to explain what Blinney really was. She told him the version of the story she had told Netta, hoping he would believe it as willingly as she. The difficult part came when she had to explain how she’d returned this last time, how it had been unintentional. She ended by explaining that she had to return to Blinney Lane and needed to search for whatever it was she had lost.
“But you are real,” Vasimus said with an incredulous laugh and touched her cheek.
“I know,” she cried, “and so are you.” She smiled and touched his face as well. Vasimus stared at her as he processed her explanations.
After a while, his hands dropped from her and he said bitterly, “Would you have come back—had you not lost whatever this is you are searching for?”
She forced back the lump in her throat and slowly shook her head. “I cannot. There is no one to rule my house in Blinney Lane, and even if there were, I would not place that burden on them.”
“Sarah, I would take a day now and then if you can get away as easily as you say you can. Could you not fall asleep for a day or two with this book open now and again? Is our love not worth attempting that for you since it is just a matter of sleeping and not traveling miles as I had previously believed?”
“Vasimus, we are not the same people who fell in love twenty years ago. How could I come here for moments of happiness while other people suffer because of you and—” She was about to say Ranthrop and herself, but the growl of Vasimus’s voice cut her off.
“—me? Because of me?”
“And me! And Ranthrop!”
“He got what he deserved! I did my duty! My people will understand that! Have you grown so weak in your world that people do not trust their leaders?” Vasimus flailed his arms.
She took a step back upon seeing how his rage erupted so quickly. “It is not our duty to blindly follow an unjust cause,” she said.
“Justice? Justice! What do you think I fight for?” He took a step closer to her.
“It is your justice alone, not theirs. Ranthrop killed the man who shot Deronda. That was enough justice.”
Vasimus shot her an unbelieving look. “That will never be enough for her death or what he intended to do to you! Have you forgotten? You are only lucky you had the power of this…this sorcery to allow you to escape through the water! He could have drowned you!”
“He would not have killed me! He held me under the water only to taunt you out of his hurt. He told me so,” she said nearly as loud as his own ranting. “He loved Deronda.”
“Ha! And you believed him? If he loved her he would not have provoked me by attempting to kill you!” Vasimus began to pace with his hands on his hips.
“And if you loved me you would not have allowed your people to suffer these past twenty years for your own broken heart. You have lost your compassion!” The tears in Sarah’s eyes were close to welling over their lids.
Vasimus stopped pacing and stared at her. His chest rose up and down under raging breaths. “You have made a fool of me, Sarah. If my heart was not broken then, you most certainly have broken it now.” His words were slow and bitter.
Sarah’s lip trembled as she shook her head. “No. We are both fools. You didn’t know me at all if you thought vengeance would honor my memory. And I have loved you for twenty years because I never imagined in any lifetime that you would become this selfish and blind.” She turned away and started across the great room before he could see the tears fall from her eyes.
Upstairs in her room, she walked to the balcony doorway and looked out on the desolate land below. She let herself weep and wondered if she was doomed to stay in the place she'd once loved with the remnants of the man she once loved. The breeze from the open doorway wafted in and cooled the hot tears on her clenched face. The door burst open with a thunderous slam, and she jumped. She spun around to see Vasimus looking at her with wild anger in his eyes. He breathed in at the sight of her distressed face, and she lowered her eyes in her shame.
As Vasimus strode across the room, she braced her arms around herself, watching him approach. Her back tightened as he neared, but his eyes were not on her. He stared out the balcony doorway and strode straight past her onto the landing. She watched as he drew his sword and brought it down with all of his might on something around the doorway.
Sarah flinched at the sound of a loud thud, which reverberated a hollow sound. She watched as splashes of water flicked up into the air on Vasimus’s face while he swung deep blows to the place where she remembered the rainwater tub sat on the balcony. She gasped as she heard the cracking sound of the wood. A few seconds later, the sound of trickling water was followed by a loud splash. A puddle quickly formed at Vasimus’s feet as he sheathed his sword and looked down at the water spilling over the base of the balcony’s edge.
Vasimus turned back toward the room and gave her only a cold passing glance as he took great strides out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. Sarah took in gulps of air and brought a shaking hand to her chest; she looked back at the sound of the water spilling off the balcony. She closed her eyes and shook her head that Vasimus had become so incensed he thought to remove the rainwater tub from her access. She hoped he would calm down and accept the realities of what she had said, but just as the thought crossed her mind, she heard a rattle at the door. She walked over to it and caught her breath at a sharp click sound.
He locked it? He locked me in!
Sarah rushed to the door and pounded. “Vasimus! Vasimus! You can’t lock me in here! What are you thinking?” She pressed an ear to the door. All she heard was the scrape of his feet just before his footsteps departed down the hallway. “No.” She moaned and slid down the doorway to crumple on the floor.
FARWIN WOOD
HENRY FOCUSED on the forest around him. He felt like he was in his high school algebra class again. That was the last time he had had such little understanding of so many things all at once. Why did he wake up in the woods? Why was Ricky asleep on the ground next to him in these woods? Why did the woods smell like a mixture of some floral scent he’d never known before and charred wood? How did they get from Sarah’s apartment to here without him remembering it? Why in the hell had he let Ricky talk him into wearing tights? When had there been a drought or wildfire in the greater Salem area to cause this much damage? Tieeeerrrrumpt!! What the hell was that sound?
The shrill noise in the air was followed by a groan from Ricky, who slowly sat up next to him. Ricky blinked and yawned as he stared calmly across the stream in front of them. Henry tried to keep his rapid breathing quiet as he watched Ricky’s reaction to their surroundings. He knew he wasn’t dreaming this. Seeing the boy freak out would be an affirmation for him. Ricky smiled and slapped him on the knee.
“We’re here,” Ricky said and got up off the ground.
“Here? Where exactly do you think here is, Ricky?” Henry rose with hesitation.
“Farwin Wood,” Ricky whispered.
�
�Farwin Woods?”
“Farwin Wood.” Ricky enunciated the singularity of the last word.
Henry shifted his eyes back and forth at the woods. “And, why would we be there?”
“Because I needed you to come with me to help Aunt Sarah.” Ricky turned around and faced him.
“Okay, buddy. I put these silly clothes on because you convinced me it would cheer her up, but how does taking me out into the woods—and I’d like to know how you managed that without me remembering it—how does being out here help Sarah?” He held his hands out, palms to the ground as though the earth would move below him if he didn’t maintain his balance.
Ricky walked over and set his hands on his shoulders. The kid looked him straight in the eyes and said, “Henry, you’re a very sensible man, so I understand that you won’t believe a thing I’m about to tell you, but the sooner you do the better you’ll feel. Trust me.”
Henry stood frozen. “O—kay.”
Ricky glanced over his shoulder and then back at him, before he said, “First off, whisper. There are some scary animals in this forest that you don’t want to mess with. Second off, do you believe in other worlds?”
He arched an eyebrow and Ricky pursed his lips.
“Of course you don’t. That was a stupid question. Okay. There’s a curse on Blinney Lane, and it does weird stuff to the shops there. Anybody who works there is stuck there, sort of. Anyways, there are a few books in my aunt’s shop that are cursed. Like, really cursed. If you fall asleep next to one of these books when it’s open, you wake up inside the world of the book. You following so far?”
“Ricky, where are we? Is this some kind of game?”
Ricky started speaking to him in a voice someone would use on a five-year-old. “We’re in Farwin Wood. It’s a book. It’s the book that was on the table in our kitchen. We fell asleep next to it. That’s why we woke up here. The only way we can get out of this world, this book, and back to Blinney Lane is by diving into some water until you feel like you’re drowning. When you wake up, you’re back where you fell asleep by the book. There’s a problem, though…”