by Claire Adams
“That’s about the most idiotic thing anyone has ever said to me,” I shot back. I was angry that he’d cut me off when I was trying to be nice about this whole thing. After all, it was my privacy that was being invaded by his job, and I hadn’t asked him to do it. When I’m mad, I get very sarcastic, and I turned that on him as I asked, “So, are you going to sit in on class or is your bias too great to allow you to enter the room?”
“Actually, I think it’s best if I don’t invade every aspect of your personal life,” he said as he fixed his steel blue eyes on my face. “I will secure the spaces you are in, and then I’ll back off and let you do your thing. During class, I’ll be out here in the hallway.”
“And if I have to go to the bathroom?” I said in a snippy tone. “What are you going to do then?”
“I’ve secured the bathroom on this floor, so you’re free to use it if you need to,” he replied in the same even tone.
“Oh my God,” I laughed as I turned on my heel and headed back into the room. “You’re really taking this way too seriously.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way, Ms. Klein,” he said in a voice tinged with the hint of sadness.
When I snuck a look over my shoulder before I shut the door, I could see him scanning the hallway for the hundredth time, and murmured, “Well, you’re certainly vigilant, I’ll give you that.”
*****
I tried to focus on Professor Blake’s lecture, but my mind was racing a mile a minute as I thought about how pissed I was at my father for forcing Brian on me. None of this would make any difference in our father-daughter relationship, whatever there was of that. It was true that we’d never been close, but he’d never played the “dad card” the way he was right now, so I was suspicious of all the sudden concern for my well-being. Something strange was going on with my parents, but I had no idea what it was.
“Good morning, everyone,” began Professor Blake. “Today we’re covering chapter 23 in our textbook. We’ll be talking about the evolutionary brain and how it relates to what has been commonly labeled Stockholm Syndrome. Now, can one of you who have read the chapter tell me what evolutionary brain function has to do with today’s topic?”
“Hunter-gatherers were designed to solve certain problems!” came an eager response from the back of the room.
“Correct, Justin,” replied Professor Blake. “And what was one specific problem that they had to solve, specifically the problem that women had to solve?”
“Abduction of women would be used as a mechanism of asserting strength and increasing the size of a tribe, and women who resisted would often be subjected to deadly violence so they had to learn to give in without actually giving in, if that makes sense.” As usual, Lara summarized the issue in a succinct sentence.
“Very good, Lara!” Professor Blake exclaimed.
As I looked over my shoulder and gave Lara a thumbs up, I caught sight of Brian standing guard out in the hall, and again, my blood began to boil as I reminded myself that my father, the one who was so overly concerned with my safety, had never even met Dominic. Come to think of it, my father had never made the time to come to campus and see what was going on or even offer to come see me. Instead, every year he’d assign one of his minions to pack up the car, drive me to school, and drop me off in my dorm room, and the night before he’d come in and hand over cash, one new credit card for all my school expenses, and another one “for fun,” he’d say with a wink and a nod, then I’d roll my eyes and tuck the cards in my wallet. It became our yearly ritual.
Sometimes during the year, I’d fly to New York and go on a huge shopping spree just to see what he’d say when he got the bill, but he never said anything; not even when I spent over $15,000 on clothes and shoes in one trip to Dior. I’m not sure he even noticed.
“What do you think, Ava? Do you agree with Jessie?” Professor Blake’s voice cut through my thoughts, pulling me away from my family and bringing me back to the classroom.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” I apologized as I turned beet red from the embarrassment of being caught off guard.
“Ah ha, I see,” he nodded and then rephrased the question. “What is the base definition of Stockholm Syndrome? What makes it so powerful?”
“That the victim finds a way to identify with the abductor and actually falls for him,” I said without hesitation.
“Good, good!” he encouraged. “Can you tell me more about it, Ava? What’s the danger?”
“That the captive empathizes so much with the abductor that they see the abuse as kindness…” my voice trailed off.
“Yes! Excellent answer, Ava!” Professor Blake crowed as he turned his attention back to the whiteboard at the front of the room, where he began writing terms and asking other students to define them.
I sat quietly, listening to my classmates calling out the answers to questions the professor asked in rapid fire, and wondered if Brian was still out in the hallway. I quickly turned to check and caught his eye before he turned and scanned the corridor again.
I wasn’t scared, but something felt off, and I didn’t know what it was.
*****
“What did he say about the exam, Ava?” Lara was tugging on the back of my shirt. “Did he say it was 50 percent of our grade?”
“No, he said the essay would be 50 percent of the exam grade,” I answered in an irritated tone. “God, Lara! Would you just slow down and listen every once in a while?”
Lara’s pouty lower lip told me that I’d hit a nerve, so when I finished packing up my things, I stood and put an arm around the tiny redhead and said, “C’mon, cheer up! You answered so many questions right today that you’re bound to be on Professor Blake’s good side. I’m sure he’ll cut you slack on the essay.”
“I did do a good job, didn’t I?” Lara chirped, and my scolding was completely forgotten - or at least, forgiven.
Brian was waiting outside of the classroom, but I ignored him as I linked arms with the girls and said, “Let’s go get something to eat, I’m starving!” Lara and Jessie enthusiastically agreed that burgers were just what we needed, so we headed over to Five Guys and proceeded to polish off enough food to keep us full while we studied all afternoon. Halfway through the meal, Jessie elbowed me and quietly asked if we should order something for Brian.
I shrugged and felt a little guilty, but when I turned toward him, I saw he was positioned in a corner table eating his lunch while scanning the premises for any threats. I rolled my eyes and turned back to the girls. “Apparently he can take care of himself,” I reported with just a hint of sarcasm.
I’m not sure why I felt so angry at Brian. He’d had nothing to do with the situation and he was only doing the job he’d been hired to do. My real beef was with my father, so I vowed to refrain from taking it out on Brian anymore. I’d just ignore him and go about my life as I had before he’d arrived. If he was really good at his job, he’d find a way to keep up with me.
For the rest of the day I tried to ignore the large, muscled man tagging after me, but the people around me made it difficult as they gave me funny looks and then stopped to whisper to each other as they looked back and forth between me and Brian. It didn’t faze me too much since I’d grown up in a family with money and was used to being stared at, but the attention that Brian brought was on a whole other level. His handsome good looks caused women to literally stop and stare, and then when they noticed that he was walking a few feet behind me, they’d make a comment about me just loud enough for me to hear.
The last straw for me was when I stopped in the bookstore to pick up the study guide for the Psych exam and overheard two of the cashiers talking about me. Their backs were turned to the registers, so they didn’t see me walk up behind them and place my items on the counter.
“I heard the bodyguard was hired to ensure that no one talks to her unless she acknowledges them,” whispered the girl with the mousy brown hair to her friend, a tall blonde with a buzz cut and a pierced nose
.
“Oh, I heard it was because she carries so much cash on her that it’s dangerous for her to be out in public!” the blonde replied excitedly as she twisted the ring in her nostril.
I cleared my throat and looked away, embarrassed that I’d overheard them. The mousy girl spun around and I watched as the color drain from her face, and wondered if she was going to faint.
“I’m…I’m…I’m…so sorry!” she stammered.
“It’s okay,” I said shrugging. “It happens all the time.”
She rang up my purchase without saying anything. She didn’t even tell me the total, so I slid my card through the reader and punched in the code. I could see her searching for something to say that would erase the shame of having been caught talking about me, but I had nothing to offer because I was so aggravated by Brian’s presence and the fact that he was the reason this was happening. And then it came to me.
As I grabbed my bag off of the counter, I leaned in and quietly said, “Actually, neither theory is correct. He’s an actor friend of my dad’s who is researching a role for a movie. It’s annoying, but you know…” and I turned and shrugged toward Brian.
The girl said nothing, she simply nodded as I swung the bag off the counter and walked out the front door. The whole way back to my dorm, I fumed about my father’s decision to upend my life on campus and give people yet another reason to stare at me and talk about me. It wasn’t until I got home that I realized she’d forgotten to give me a receipt, but I wasn’t terribly annoyed because on the walk home my resentment had morphed into a plan to get rid of Brian and get my father to leave me alone.
*****
Around 8 o’clock, I stuck my head out the door of my dorm room, and sure enough, Brian was standing in the hallway scanning the premises as usual.
“Hey, I’m planning to head out for a run,” I told him. “Care to join me?”
“Only if you’re going to head over to the track,” he replied. “It’s the only place I can guarantee your safety.”
“Oh my God!” I shouted. “Would you please knock it off with the stupid guaranteed safety stuff? You sound like an ad for medical alert devices or something — and I’m not old!”
“Just doing my job, Ms. Klein,” he replied, but I swore I could see a hint of a smile forming around the edge of his lips.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I replied, waving him off like a pesky fly. “Fine, we’ll go over to the track and run. Happy now?”
“It’s not about my happiness, ma’am,” he responded seriously. “It’s about your safety.”
“Argh!” I let out an exasperated sigh as I slammed the door to my room and went to change into my running clothes. I emerged 10 minutes later ready to do some good, hard running to work off the frustration I’d been feeling all day, and eager to see if my plan would work.
Brian followed close behind me, not speaking, just maintaining a close watch on our surroundings. When we entered the gate surrounding the track, he held up a hand and made me walk behind him as he checked out the area before signaling it was safe for me to run. My irritation with this whole setup was palpable, and I had half a mind to tell him how incredibly ridiculous it was getting, but then I remembered my plan so I shut up and rolled my eyes as I stretched. Once I was warmed up, I looked over at Brian to get the go-ahead; he nodded, and I took off at a slow pace.
Thankfully he didn’t run with me.
Instead, he continued scanning the area as he perched on the bleachers and maintained surveillance of the entire area. I rolled my eyes again at his vigilance and picked up my pace. It felt good to let off some of the steam that had been building all day, and after a couple of laps, I felt warmed up enough to begin devising a way to put my plan into action. The bright lights that illuminated the track reached into the dark edges of the field and then tapered off past the fence line. I made note of the trees and shrubs surrounding the fence, thinking that they’d provide excellent cover. I picked up my pace and ran a little faster as my mind raced. I knew I could do it; the question was whether Brian would figure out what I was doing in enough time to stop me. I decided that the risk was worth the payoff, and on my sixth lap around the track, I broke into a dead run heading for the darkness lining the fence on the opposite side of the field. I knew it had to be more than six feet high, but I felt certain that I’d be able to clear it quickly, and I was right.
It took less than 15 seconds for me to scale the fence and drop down on the other side. From the other side of the field, I heard Brian cursing up a storm as he tore after me, yelling, “Ava! Stop! This isn’t a smart thing to do!” And then “Dammit!” when I didn’t heed his warning.
When I looked over my shoulder to see where he was, I knew there was a good chance he’d catch up to me if I didn’t run full speed, so I put my head down and ran into the darkness as hard and fast as I could. I wasn’t exactly sure where I was going, all I knew was that I needed to get away from Brian, and away from the reminder that my father didn’t care about how I felt about anything.
*****
I could feel the ground beneath my feet as I ran, and the night air provided some refreshing relief as I pumped my legs as hard as I could hoping that, since Brian didn’t know the campus as well as I did, he wouldn’t be able to catch up with me. I ran past Brody Hall and then up the hill toward the administration building. My legs were burning as I took the steps two at a time, but it was a good burn that made me feel strong and fast. I circled around to the back side of the building and ran down the steps toward the path alongside the river that ran through the center of campus. The farther I ran, the harder it became to keep the negative thoughts at bay, and tears of self-pity began to well up in my eyes. I fought them for about a half a mile, and then I let them flow warm and wet down my cheeks as I tried to outrun the pain of everything that had happened over the past year.
I learned my lesson! I started over! Why do I have to be singled out as different? Why don’t you care about me? The thoughts raced through my brain as I ran. I felt sorry for myself, but I also felt angry. Angry that my father never talked to me. Angry that he and my mother didn’t seem to want me around. And angry that I couldn’t talk to anyone about what had happened in my life.
The darkness wrapped itself around me as I ran the river path, not noticing where I was or caring where I was headed. All I cared about was leaving Brian and my father behind me. I ran until my lungs felt like they would burst and my legs felt like two lead poles, but even then, I didn’t stop.
When I finally tired enough to slow down and take stock of my surroundings, I realized I was on the outer edge of the library building. I’d run out my frustration and felt bad that I’d left Brian had no clue where I was. If my father found out, Brian would be put through the ringer, maybe even fired. And as much as I wanted to ditch the security detail, I didn’t wish my father’s angry tantrum on Brian. I didn’t need to carry the burden of feeling responsible for yet another man in my life, so I decided to turn around and head back to the track. Hopefully Brian would have gone back there to wait for me once he realized he wasn’t going to be able to follow my lead.
At the corner of the library, I turned left and hit something with such force that I found myself sprawled out on the ground on my back, trying to suck air back into my lungs. The force with which I’d hit whatever had been blocking my path had knocked the wind out of me and left me seeing stars. What the hell just happened? Did I hit my head on the sidewalk? I wondered as I looked up into the face of the one person I thought I’d never see again.
“Aren’t you out a little late, Ava?” the sinister voice slithered its way into my ears and made me shudder. “Nice girls like you shouldn’t be out running around in the dark, you never know who you’ll run into.”
When I was finally able to take a deep breath and refill my lungs, I looked up and saw Dominic standing over me. Illuminated in the artificial glow of the halogen lights outside the library, he looked almost ghostly. His blond hair glowed and
his ice blue eyes had a sickly shine. He was holding out his hand and smiling that same crazy smile he’d had on his face when I walked out the door of his apartment after telling him I’d never come back. I ignored his hand, took another deep breath, and quickly pushed myself back up to my feet as I moved away from his creepy smile. I didn’t move fast enough, though, and before I knew it, he had his hands wrapped tightly around my upper arms as he stared at my face.
“Ava, you know how much I still love you, don’t you?” his voice had that psychotic pleading tone to it. The one that I knew would lead to nothing good if I didn’t escape his grasp.
“I know you do, Dominic,” I said in a soothing voice. “I know you think you love me, but you don’t. You know that, don’t you? This isn’t love.”
“I’ve always loved you, Kitten. Always,” he repeated. I hated that nickname, it always made me feel like a small, helpless creature, and now his icy blue eyes were fixed on me. I felt like prey for the predator. “You have always been the center of my world and I’ve always loved you.”
“Dominic —” I began.
“We used to be so good together, Ava!” he cried. “We used to do things and laugh and have fun, don’t you remember? We could be like that again, but you have to come back!”
“Dominic, you and I broke up because you cheated on me!” I yelled.
“That was nothing! It was a meaningless fling with some bimbo from my English class. She meant absolutely nothing to me. I swear!” his grip on my arm grew tighter and his voice took on a menacing tone. “I never loved anyone but you, Ava. You were the only one I loved. You are the only one I will ever love.”
I shook my head as I frantically looked for someone to come out of the library and intervene, but the more I fought him, the harder he dug his fingers into my arms to make his point.