But it wouldn’t even have had to have been secrets. From what he knew of the palace, nothing was private.
He recalled what she’d said about catching a couple making love, and the image of the raven-haired Queen Claudette came to his mind. The way Catalina had spoken, it had sounded as if she’d known the lovers well. Nathaniel had seen the Queen a number of times at school concerts and open days in his younger years, and then at various functions he’d been invited to at the Agon palace, but they had never been introduced.
His money was good enough to be courted in the hope of investment but he was only just considered good enough to be introduced to a Monte Cleure princess, never mind the Queen. She’d resembled her younger daughter, Isabella, more than Catalina, but had had the same willowy figure, poise and serenity her elder daughter carried so effortlessly.
No, Queen Claudette was certainly not the kind of woman who would have demeaned herself by making love in a herb garden.
Queen Claudette hadn’t been a rampant teenager struggling to contain her hormones.
Not like him, who had once been a hormonal teenager who’d embarked on a tawdry, seedy affair.
‘It must have been difficult growing up knowing every wrong move or word would have consequences,’ he said quietly, trying to imagine what it must have been like to grow up as a princess in the House of Fernandez.
‘It’s my life,’ she said simply before correcting herself, ‘was my life. I was born into great privilege. My mother never let me forget how privileged it was and I never let myself forget either. And here’s our room.’
She stuck the key in the lock and turned it.
The door opened to reveal a surprisingly large room that was as clean and airy as the reception. A carved wooden king-size bed with an enormous fur throw dominated it. The other items of furniture blurred into insignificance.
He turned to face her.
Her eyes were already upon him.
‘There is only one bed,’ he said, studying her, remembering the way she had trembled when he’d trapped her against the kitchen counter earlier. His body still ached from the remnants of the need that had pulsed through him when he’d run his fingers over her soft cheeks and inhaled the fragrance that could have been designed for his senses alone.
‘Do you have a problem with that?’ Her gaze was steady and unflinching.
Did he have a problem with that? A problem with sleeping with the most beautiful, sexiest woman in the world who had run away from him, taking their unborn child with her? Yes, he would say he had a problem with that.
At that moment he wanted nothing more than to rip her clothes off, lay her down on the carved bed and plunge deep inside her; to possess her. To make her his.
All the reasons why he’d kept his distance and his hands to himself before no longer applied. Everything had changed. He didn’t need to protect her any more.
Hell, she didn’t deserve his protection any more.
Catalina wanted to make her own choices. If he pulled her into his arms she would respond in the same way she had the first time he’d taken her, with a passion that had caused him to lose control and throw caution to the wind for a few minutes of unprotected pleasure. That he’d kept the sense to withdraw and sheathe himself wasn’t a tick against his name. He’d known the dangers and he’d ignored them, something he had never been remotely tempted to do before that moment that had changed their worlds for ever.
If he made love to her again there would be no need to sheathe himself. He would be able to feel every minute of it.
Lust was supposed to be uncomplicated; a mutually satisfying physical exchange. All the loathing swirling in his blood along with his desire for her...
There was nothing to stop him from acting on all the desires he’d harboured for her for years but which had intensified since their night together... And it was that intensity and its potency that warned him to retreat. Because this felt like a damned sight more than mere lust.
‘Do you have a problem with us sharing a bed together?’ he asked in clipped tones, his body tightening painfully as he threw her question back at her.
Her sultry chocolate gaze didn’t leave his. Her pupils were wide, calling to him like a visible expression of the scent that drove him so wild. She answered with a slow shake of her head.
Every atom in his body felt charged, straining towards her, fighting his head for control. She was still bundled up in her winter attire, with only the hat removed, but she was sexier than if she’d presented herself to him in a black lace negligee.
He inhaled deeply through his nose, unable to tear his eyes away from the face he wanted to despise but in reality wanted nothing more than to cup in his hands and bring his lips down on hers.
Suddenly her hand reached out to rest against his chest. ‘I really am sorry that I stole your money and ran away.’ Something other than desire darkened her eyes.
The warmth of her skin penetrated his clothes and sank into his bloodstream.
A contorted smile played on her lips. ‘I know you think you can’t trust me any more but I promise I will never do that to you again. I’m putting my trust in you and I hope one day you can regain your trust in me.’ Now a genuine smile lit up her beautiful face. ‘It’ll be you and me against the Monte Cleure establishment. We’ll be like Bonnie and Clyde.’
‘You want to shoot your way to freedom?’ he asked, fighting his own smile as much as he was fighting the need to take the hand still pressed against his chest and lay kisses all over her wrist, up her arm...
She pulled a face, her lips twitching. ‘Wrong metaphor. Saying that, there’s been many a time I’ve thought about shooting Dominic.’
‘Then I guess we do have something in common.’ Feeling as if he were disconnecting a part of himself, he took her wrist and moved her hand away, then turned his back on her to open the bathroom door. ‘We should get ready for dinner.’
* * *
The hotel’s restaurant was a large but dark space with tables of assorted sizes crammed in it, all covered by dark maroon tablecloths.
Catalina gazed around in astonishment.
She had never been anywhere like this before. All her dining experiences had been in palaces, stately homes and ambassadorial residences. She’d dined out a few times with Helios but always at somewhere refined and becoming to both their positions; establishments with hallmarked cutlery, chandeliers, serving staff in immaculately pressed uniforms...
This was something from a different planet, from the world of movies. It was wonderful. And also rather terrifying. All these people... The receptionist hadn’t been exaggerating about how busy they were.
A young man came over to greet them. She would only have known he worked there by the black pinafore around his waist. When Nathaniel gave their room number, his eyes widened and immediately fell on Catalina’s face.
She supposed the young girl at the reception desk hadn’t been able to resist telling the other staff that the Princess was staying in their hotel.
At least the weather was too bad for the press to beetle up the mountain and camp outside. From what Nathaniel had said, they would be getting desperate for a picture of the married couple together.
They were led to a corner table, the only free one as far as she could see. There were a few glances in their direction but if anyone recognised her, she didn’t notice.
Anonymity had been easy in Benasque. She’d only ventured out bundled up and with dark sunglasses to protect her eyes from the glare of the sun and the curiosity of strangers. Tonight, she’d kept on her jeans from earlier but put on a clean cherry red cashmere sweater, brushing her hair back into a low loose ponytail. Having nothing to change into, Nathaniel still wore his jeans, shirt and thick navy sweater. His earlier stubble had thickened, giving his handsome features an added touch of dange
r that sent her pulse soaring.
Her blood thrummed; tonight she would share a bed with him. She fought hard to temper the anticipation, remembering the nights in his apartment when she’d lain awake wondering if he would come to her, her heart aching with rejection as night after night the door had remained resolutely closed.
If he were to reject her while she laid beside him...
She didn’t know if anything would happen between them but she would not lie to herself and pretend she didn’t want it to.
Menus were placed before them and they ordered their drinks.
Catalina read through her menu, then looked at Nathaniel. ‘This looks expensive.’ The value of money had become something of an obsession to her over the past ten days.
‘Order whatever you like.’
‘Are you sure?’
He met her eye and lowered his menu. ‘Once we’ve got everything sorted in Monte Cleure, I will buy you and the baby a house and give you an allowance. Until then, I will take care of everything for you so, I insist, choose whatever you like and never feel that you have to ask.’
A lump formed in her throat and she swallowed hard to dislodge it.
‘Thank you,’ she whispered, before adding in a brighter tone, ‘I’ve been thinking that after the baby is born, I could get a job.’
His brown eyebrows shot up.
‘I was thinking it anyway. I’m not used to being idle,’ she said with a shrug. ‘And I need to find a way to support our baby when my father cuts me off.’
Nathaniel’s eyes narrowed.
‘He will.’ She braced herself to say it aloud. ‘When we finally leave Monte Cleure I’ll be cut off for good. It’s the only thing he and Dominic will have left to punish me with.’
‘I’ll support you.’ There wasn’t any hesitation.
‘It’s not fair for me to be reliant on you.’
‘You’ve always been reliant on your father.’
‘That was different. With my father it was quid pro quo. The palace paid all my expenses and in return I was a princess who brought honour to the House of Fernandez.’
‘You’ll be the mother of my child. I’ll take care of you financially.’
‘I do appreciate it, really, but I would like to contribute too. I don’t know how to be idle.’
‘What would you like to do?’
‘I don’t know. I don’t know what I can do. I’ll think of something.’
He nodded slowly, before perusing his menu again. ‘You would be good in hospitality.’
His compliment, as off-hand as it had been, brought a flush of pleasure to her cheeks.
Their waiter appeared with their drinks and a notepad.
Nathaniel ordered a fillet steak with fries, salad and Portobello mushrooms. It sounded so good she ordered it for herself.
When they were alone again, she asked the question that had been going through her mind since their conversation in the car. ‘Why did you only live with your uncle for such a short time after your expulsion? You were very young to go out into the world on your own.’
The lines on his face deepened.
‘You were seventeen when you left?’ she probed.
‘Yes.’
‘How did you support yourself?’
‘With the remainder of my parents’ insurance money. It was supposed to pay for another year’s schooling but my uncle transferred it to me. I moved to Marseille and rented an apartment. Tiny thing, it was.’
Marseille had been where he’d started his business. The land opposite his rented apartment had been for sale. For years he’d known he would be master of his own destiny and, gazing out at the blank spot on the canvas, he’d suddenly known what he was going to do. He’d called Helios—who was still at school—and told him his idea. A month later the land had belonged to Nathaniel. Two years after that, his first development, a decent-sized hotel and restaurant with a nightclub attached, was complete. He sold it, paid Helios back his money and used the profit to purchase his next plot of land. By his third development he hadn’t owed a cent to anyone. He stopped selling his developments after his fifth and had kept all the income for himself.
Thirteen years after that phone call to Helios, Nathaniel had made the official world billionaire list.
‘Where did your uncle live?’ Catalina asked.
‘Paris.’
Her face scrunched up in concentration. He could see her calculating the distance.
‘That’s the other side of France, isn’t it?’
‘Yes.’
‘Why did you go so far away?’ She shook her head in confusion. ‘It seems strange to me that you would move so far from your only support network unless you had to.’
‘I did have to,’ he snapped, lifting his beer and drinking half the glass in one swallow.
Then, taking a deep breath, he put the glass back on the table and forced a smile.
She didn’t look the slightest bit convinced by it, her eyes piercing his with concern.
‘What happened?’
He opened his mouth to tell her that it was none of her concern when instead he found himself saying, ‘I had an affair with Angelique.’
CHAPTER TEN
CATALINA WONDERED IF she’d misheard him. ‘Your aunt?’
He shook his head, his lips forming into a sneer. ‘Not my aunt. She was my uncle’s wife but I never thought of her as my aunt. When my parents died I thought of her as the Wicked Witch of the West.’
It was as if Catalina’s tongue had stuck to the roof of her mouth. She simply could not think of a response.
He’d had an affair with his uncle’s wife?
‘You remember the fight Dominic and I had that resulted in my expulsion?’
She managed a nod.
‘I told you I was sent to my uncle’s home in disgrace and that he was away on business. I expected to be dumped with a nanny or something of the sort but I guess Angelique didn’t have the chance to get anything organised. She had to deal with me herself rather than fob me off and pretend I didn’t exist.’ The distaste in his voice was clear. ‘I remember how she looked at me when she opened the door. It was the look the wolf gave Little Red Riding Hood. Physically, I’d changed a lot that year; I’d shot up and filled out. For the first time, she didn’t ignore my existence. She plied me with wine, dressed up, cooked me a special meal... I didn’t know it then but it was the beginning of her seduction.’ He shook his head. ‘You don’t need to hear the details but suffice to say when she crept into my bed I was in no position to turn her away. She was a beautiful woman at the height of her powers and she knew exactly what she was doing.’
Finally Catalina was able to speak. ‘She seduced a seventeen-year-old boy?’
‘Yes. She did. She seduced me. And I let her.’
Catalina shuddered, nausea swelling in her stomach. ‘That’s sick.’
His jaw clenched and he breathed heavily. ‘I did warn you.’
She placed a hand on his arm, worried he would think she was speaking about him. ‘No, not you. I mean Angelique. What a bitch.’
It was the first time Nathaniel had ever heard a curse fall from Catalina’s lips.
‘I have to take some of the blame. I let her.’
‘You were seventeen.’
‘Seventeen-year-olds know right from wrong and I knew very well that what we were doing was not just wrong but, as you rightly said, sick. My uncle took me in from the age of seven. He raised me...’
‘He let Angelique send you to boarding school.’
‘He did the best he could under the circumstances. He was there for every significant event and that was how I repaid him. The moral compass everyone else has does not apply to me. We slept together intermittently for six months, until
the day my uncle came home from work early and caught her sneaking out of my room in only her underwear.’
He drained the rest of his beer and grimaced. ‘My uncle threw her out on the spot and gave me a week to move out. He said he would transfer the remainder of my trust fund to me on the condition I moved out of Paris and he never had to see me again.’
‘Have you seen him since?’
He shook his head. ‘I tried making contact a couple of times but he doesn’t want to know. He’s got a new life now. He divorced Angelique and remarried. He has a couple of kids of his own now. I know he’ll never forgive me. He was the last of my family—my grandmother had died by then—and I destroyed our relationship.’
The last of his family...
And she had run away carrying the child that would be the first true blood tie he’d had in a generation.
‘Did you ever make the first move on her?’
‘No.’ His answer was so vehement that she believed him. ‘I never wanted it to happen. It sickened me but on another level I must have wanted it because I allowed it to happen.’
She nodded slowly. ‘When I was at finishing school, I remember one of the English girls talking about her teenage brothers. She said they were randy little sods—her words—and that if we ever visited we should make sure to wear chastity belts.’
‘Don’t make excuses for me.’
‘I’m not. What you did was wrong, yes, but you were practically a child. Angelique was quite clearly a predator and the one in the position of power. She was beautiful and you were a walking hormone stick.’
A walking hormone stick?
Despite the gravity of the subject, Nathaniel couldn’t hold back the small burst of mirth that came to him, surprised to find he felt a fraction lighter.
He’d never spoken of this to anyone before. His uncle had never either—the press would have had a field day if he had. And nor had Angelique.
That his uncle had kept his counsel after the heinous way Nathaniel had repaid the love he’d given him only verified the qualities of the man who had taken in his orphan nephew and done his best to be a father to him.
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