It is God’s will that I should feel myself as much bound to him in love as if all that he has done had been done for me. And in his heart every soul should think of those he loves and is loved by in this way – that the love of God unites us to such an extent that when we are truly aware of it, no man can separate himself from another. And so our soul ought to think that all that God has done was done for it; and he shows us this to make us love him and to fear nothing but him; for he wants us to understand that all the strength of our Enemy is committed into our Friend’s hand, and therefore the soul that knows this truly will fear none but him that it loves; it sets all other fears among sufferings and bodily sickness and mental apprehensions.
And therefore though we are in so much pain, woe and distress that it seems we can think of nothing but the state we are in and what we are feeling, we should pass over it lightly and dismiss it as nothing as soon as we can. And why? Because God wants us to know that if we know him and love him and reverently fear him, we shall have peace and be completely at rest; and all that he does will give us great pleasure. And our Lord showed this in these words, ‘Why should you fret about suffering for a while, since it is my will and my glory?’60
Now I have told you of fifteen revelations as God deigned to offer them to my understanding, renewing them by flashes of illumination and touches, I hope, of the same spirit which was shown in them all. The first of these fifteen showings began early in the morning, at about four o’clock, and they lasted, appearing in due order most beautifully and surely, one after the other, until it was well past the middle of the day.
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The sixteenth revelation, which is the conclusion and confirmation of all fifteen; and of her frailty and grieving in distress and speaking lightly of the great comfort of Jesus, saying she was delirious, which, considering her great sickness, I suppose was only a venial sin; but nevertheless after that the Devil had great power and nearly vexed her to death.
And after this the good Lord showed the sixteenth revelation on the following night, as I shall say later, and this sixteenth revelation was the conclusion and confirmation of all the other fifteen. But first I must tell you about my feebleness, wretchedness and blindness. I said at the beginning, ‘And at this moment, all my suffering was suddenly taken from me’;61 and I had no trouble, no distress from this pain as long as the following fifteen showings lasted; and at the end it was all over and I saw no more. And I soon felt that I would live and continue to suffer, and at once my sickness returned; first in my head, with a noise and a din, and suddenly my whole body was full of sickness as it had been before, and I was as barren and dry as if I had received little comfort. And like a wretch I tossed and moaned with the feeling of bodily pain and the failing of spiritual and bodily comfort.
Then a man belonging to a religious order came to me and asked me how I was. And I said that I had been delirious today, and he laughed loud and heartily. And I said, ‘The cross which was before my face, I thought it was bleeding hard.’ And as soon as I said this, the person to whom I was speaking became very serious and marvelled. And I was immediately very ashamed and astonished at my heedlessness, and I thought, ‘This man takes my least word seriously, saying nothing in reply.’ And when I saw that he took it so seriously and so reverently, I wept, feeling very ashamed, and wanted to be given absolution; but at that time I did not feel I could tell any priest about it, for I thought, ‘How could a priest believe me? I do not believe our Lord God.’ I had truly believed while I was seeing him, and had then wanted and intended to do so for ever, but, like a fool, I let it pass from my mind. Oh, what a wretch I was! This was a great sin and very ungrateful, that I through stupidity, just because I felt a little bodily pain, should so foolishly lose for the time being the comfort of all this blessed showing of our Lord God.
Here you can see what I am of myself; but our kind Lord would not leave me like this. And I lay still till night, trusting in his mercy, and then I went to sleep. And as soon as I fell asleep it seemed the Fiend was at my throat, thrusting a visage like a young man’s close to my face; and it was long and extraordinarily thin, I never saw one like it. The colour was red like newly fired tiles,62 with black spots on it like black freckles, fouler than the tiles themselves. His hair was as red as rust, clipped in front, and with locks hanging down over the temples. He grinned at me with a wicked expression, showing white teeth, so that I thought him even more horrible. His body and hands were not properly shaped, but his paws gripped me by the throat and he tried to strangle me, but he could not. I was asleep during this horrible showing, but not during any of the others. And during all this time I trusted I would be saved and protected by the mercy of God. And our kind Lord gave me grace to wake up, and I was barely alive.
The people who were with me noticed, and bathed my temples, and my heart began to take comfort. And immediately a little smoke came in through the door with a great heat and a foul stench. I said, ‘Benedicite domine! Everything here is on fire!’ And I supposed it was a physical fire and would burn us all to death. I asked those who were with me if they smelled any stench. They said no, they smelled none. I said, ‘Blessed be God!’ for I knew well that it was the Fiend that had come to torment me. And I had recourse at once to all that our Lord had shown me that same day, along with the faith of Holy Church, for I saw both as one, and fled to that as my comfort. And immediately it all vanished completely, and I was brought to a state of great rest and peace without sickness of the body or terrors of the mind.
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Of the glorious city of the soul, which is created so nobly that it could not have been made any better, a city in which the Trinity rejoices everlastingly; and the soul can rest in nothing but in God, who seats himself there, ruling everything.
And then our Lord opened my spiritual eyes and showed me my soul in the middle of my heart. I saw the soul as large as if it were an endless63 world and as if it were a holy kingdom; and from the properties I saw in it I understood that it is a glorious city. In the centre of that city sits our Lord Jesus, God and man, a handsome person and of great stature, the highest bishop, the most imposing king, the most glorious Lord; and I saw him dressed imposingly and gloriously. He sits in the soul, in the very centre, in peace and rest. And the Godhead rules and protects heaven and earth and all that is: supreme power, supreme wisdom and supreme goodness.
It seems to me that in all eternity Jesus will never leave the position which he takes in our soul; for in us is his most familiar home and his everlasting dwelling. And in this he showed the pleasure he takes in the way man’s soul is made; as well as the Father might make a creature, and as well as the Son could make a creature, so the Holy Ghost wanted man’s soul to be made, and so it was done. And so the Holy Trinity rejoices eternally over the way man’s soul is made; for he saw before time began what would please him eternally. Everything that he has made shows his lordship; understanding of this was given at the same time through the example of a person who was to see great treasures and kingdoms belonging to a lord, and when he had seen all the treasures below, then, marvelling, he was moved to seek above for the high place where the lord lives, knowing by reason that his dwelling would be in the best place; and so I understood truly that our soul can never rest in things which are beneath it. When it rises above all created beings into itself, it still cannot rest there contemplating itself, but all its attention is blessedly focused on God, the creator dwelling in it; for his true dwelling is in man’s soul, and it seems to me that the greatest light in the city and the most brightly shining is the glorious love of our Lord. And what can make us rejoice more in God than to see in him what pleases him most greatly of all his works? For I saw in the same showing that the Holy Trinity would not have been fully satisfied with the way man’s soul was made if he could have made it any better, any fairer, any nobler than it was. And he wants our hearts to be raised high above the depths of earth and all vain sorrows, and to rejoice in him.
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bsp; Of certain knowledge that it was Jesus who showed all this and it was no delirium; and how through all our tribulation we ought to have sure trust that we shall not be overcome.
This was a ravishing sight and a restful showing, that it is so everlastingly. And it is very pleasing to God and extremely helpful to us that we should see this while we are here. And the soul which sees it in this way makes itself like the one seen and unites itself to him in rest and peace through his grace. And it was a very great joy and bliss to me that I saw him sitting, for the certainty that he sits shows that he dwells there eternally. And he gave me certain knowledge that it was he who had shown me all that went before. And when I had considered this carefully, our good Lord gently revealed words to me, without any voice or opening of his lips, just as he had done before, and he said very lovingly, ‘Know well now that what you saw today was no delirium; accept and believe it, hold to it and comfort yourself with it and trust to it, and you shall not be overcome.’ These last words were said to prove to me with full assurance that it is our Lord Jesus who showed me everything. And just as in the first phrase which our good Lord revealed, referring to his blessed Passion – ‘By this is the Fiend overcome’64 – in just the same way he said his last phrase with very great certainty, referring to all of us, ‘You shall not be overcome.’
And all this teaching of true comfort applies without exception to all my fellow Christians, as I said before, and it is God’s will that it should be so. And these words, ‘You shall not be overcome’, were said very loudly and clearly for security and comfort against all the tribulations that may come. He did not say, ‘You shall not be tormented, you shall not be troubled, you shall not be grieved’, but he said, ‘You shall not be overcome.’ God wants us to pay attention to these words and wants our trust always to be sure and strong, in weal and woe; for he loves and is pleased with us, and so he wishes us to love and be pleased with him and put great trust in him; and all shall be well.
And soon after this it was all over and I saw no more.
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Of the Devil’s second long temptation to despair; but she trusted strongly in God and in the faith of Holy Church, reciting the Passion of Christ, by which she was delivered.
After this the Fiend came again with his heat and his stench and distressed me greatly, the stench was so vile and so agonizing and also terrifying and tormenting. And I also heard a human jabbering as if there were two people, and it seemed to me that both of them were jabbering at the same time, as if they were having a very tense discussion; and as it was all quiet muttering, I could understand nothing they said. And I thought that all this was to drive me to despair, and it seemed to me as if they were mocking prayers said by rote, spoken noisily with the mouth, with none of the devout understanding and thoughtful care which we owe to God in our prayers. And our Lord God gave me the grace to trust strongly in him and to comfort my soul by speaking aloud as I should have done to another person who was distressed. I thought that this anxiety could not be compared to any other human anxiety. I set my bodily eyes on the same cross which had comforted me before, and my tongue to speaking of Christ’s Passion and reciting the faith of Holy Church, and my heart to clinging to God with all my trust and with all my strength. And I thought to myself, ‘You must now be very careful to hold to the faith, for you must not be taken by the Enemy; if only from now on you could always be so careful to keep yourself from sin, it would be a good and beneficial way of life’; for I truly thought that if I were safe from sin I would be quite safe from all the fiends of hell and enemies of my soul.
And so the Fiend kept me occupied all that night and in the morning until it was just after sunrise. And at once they were all gone, all passed away, leaving nothing but a stench; and that persisted for a while. And I thought of them with contempt. And thus I was delivered from them by the power of Christ’s Passion, for that is how the Fiend is overcome, as our Lord Jesus Christ said before.
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In all tribulation we should be steadfast in the faith, trusting strongly in God; for if our faith had no enemies, it would deserve no reward; and how all these showings are in the faith.
In all this blessed showing our good Lord made it understood that the sight would pass; but faith preserves this blessed showing, with God’s good will and grace, for he left me with no sign or token by which I might remember it, but he left me with his own blessed word in true understanding, telling me very firmly that I must believe it. And so I do; blessed may he be! I believe that he who showed it is our Saviour, and that what he showed is the true faith. And therefore I believe and rejoice in it; and I am bound to do so by what he said himself in the words which follow next: ‘Hold to it and comfort yourself with it and trust to it.’ Thus I am bound by my faith to believe it. For on the same day that it was shown, when the revelation was over, like a wretch I abandoned it and said openly that I had been delirious. Then our Lord Jesus in his mercy would not let it perish, but he showed it all again inwardly, in my soul, more fully, with the blessed light of his precious love, saying these words very strongly and very kindly, ‘Know well now that what you saw today was no delirium,’ as if he had said, ‘Because the sight had passed away, you lost it and could not keep it; but know it now, that is to say, now that you see it.’
This was said not just for that same moment, but also to ground my faith firmly upon it, as is seen by his saying immediately afterwards, ‘Accept it, believe it, hold to it and comfort yourself with it and trust to it, and you shall not be overcome.’ In these six phrases beginning from ‘Accept it’, his purpose is to fasten it faithfully in our hearts; for he wants it to stay with us in faith until our life’s end, and afterwards in the fullness of joy, wishing that we should always have sure trust in his holy promises, knowing his goodness; for our faith is opposed in various ways by our own blindness and by our spiritual Enemy, within and without, and because of this our dearly loved Friend helps us with spiritual insight and true teaching in different ways, within and without, by which we may know him. And therefore, in whatever way he teaches us, he wants us to perceive him wisely, receive him lovingly and hold ourselves to him faithfully, for it seems to me that in this life one can hold to no goodness above faith, and there is no help for the soul below faith, but it is to the faith that the Lord wants us to hold. For by his goodness and by his own work we are able to hold to the faith, and by his permission spiritual enemies test us in the faith and make us strong, for if our faith had no enemy it would deserve no reward, so far as I understand all our Lord’s purpose.
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Jesus wants our souls to look at him with gladness, for the face he shows us is happy and loving; and how he shows us three kinds of face – a suffering, a compassionate and a blessed face.
Glad and cheerful and sweet is the blessed, loving face with which our Lord looks at our souls; for he is constantly in love-longing towards us while we live, and he wants our souls to look gladly on him so as to give him his reward. And so I hope that by his grace he has made the outer face like the inner face, and shall do so still more, and shall unite us all with him and with each other in the true and lasting joy which is Jesus.
I have three kinds of understanding of the expression of our Lord’s face. The first is the suffering face which he showed while he was here, dying. Although this is a sight of mourning and sorrow, it is also glad and cheerful, for he is God. The second face is pity, grief and compassion; and he shows this face to all those who love him, with the certainty of protection for those who need his mercy. The third is the blessed face which he will show for ever, and I saw this oftenest and longest.
And so when we sorrow and suffer, he shows us the face of his Passion and his cross, helping us to endure through his own blessed strength. And when we sin he shows us his face of pity and grief, strongly protecting and defending us from all our enemies. And these two are the faces which he most often shows us in this life; and mixed with them is the third, which is his blessed face, shown in p
art as it will be in heaven. And that comes to us through gracious touching and sweet illumination of the spiritual life by which we are kept in certain faith, hope and charity, with contrition and devotion and also with contemplation and every kind of true pleasure and sweet comfort. The blessed face of our Lord God works this in us through grace.
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Sin in the chosen souls is mortal for a time, but they are not dead in the sight of God; and how we have here cause of joy and of lamentation, and the latter is for our blindness and the weight of our flesh; and of the most comforting face of God; and why these showings were given.
But now I must tell how I saw mortal sin in those who shall not die for sin, but shall live everlastingly in the joy of God. And I saw that to God, two opposites could never exist in one place. The two most extreme opposites are the highest bliss and the deepest suffering. The highest bliss is to possess God in the brightness of everlasting life, seeing him truly, feeling him sweetly, possessing him completely in the fullness of joy.
And so our Lord’s blessed face was shown with an expression of pity, and in this showing I saw that sin is diametrically opposed to it, to such an extent that as long as we are mingled with any portion of sin, we shall never clearly see our Lord’s blessed face. And the more horrible and grievous our sins are, the more deeply we are sunk below this blessed sight at that moment. And therefore it often seems to us as if we are in peril of death, and partly in hell, because of the pain and sorrow which sin causes us. And so we are dead for the time being to the true sight of our blessed life. But in all this I certainly saw that we are not dead in the sight of God, nor does he ever leave us; but he will never have his full bliss in us until we have our full bliss in him, truly seeing his fair, blessed face; this is ordained for us by nature and obtained by us through grace. So I saw how mortal sin exists for a short time in the blessed beings that will gain everlasting life.
Revelations of Divine Love Page 21