“You have to watch. If he can take the blows, you can at least watch.” Marxx tells me.
“I didn’t ask him to take any blows.” My voice is haunted with the guilt of that thought.
“You don’t have to ask him. You haven’t figured that out yet? Now get ready.” I feel the pressure of his arms increase with his words, and I know the fight is about to start.
I did not see it start. I heard it. I hear the sickening sound that skin makes as it is connected against repeatedly. I hear the sounds of pain from those connections from both of them. I look up to see them being separated by Simon, Rhett and Chapel. Each is fighting off their captor with the agreement to keep space between the two of them. Already blood is flowing from both of their faces from lacerations. Now they circle one another, collecting their breath before they attack again.
“Were the other two fights this brutal?” I whisper to the man behind me.
“No.” Is the only word he gives to me, bringing my fear back to the surface.
“When does it end?” My words are weak, afraid of each answer I am seeking.
“When one steps over the tape.” His words cause my stomach to clench with the realization of how far this could go.
“Did Rhett or J.D. step over the tape?” I am afraid of his answer.
“No.” That same word offered again doubles my fear.
Law cannot step over the tape now. He must be the one to finish it, following the lead of the two that have gone before him. To do anything less, will cost him more than just the fight. Unfortunately, Dolph is in the same situation.
He cannot step over the tape either. It will mean that everyone from his side fell to ours. It will allow a sore spot that will forever taunt their pride. It will be the ultimate declaration, declaring which side has the better protectors. Something no male wants to have proven against them by falling to another. As Lawless lands the first blow with this new attack, I see no way for this to end.
The men are panting, and bleeding, as they are pulled apart again. Both are spitting blood from the wounds in their mouths. My tears are flowing as freely as the many cuts upon their faces. Dolph is just as relentless as Law is with his attacks, and my body aches with each blow landed. Neither is showing any sign of yielding with their hate still so abundant. With their eyes, even now, they glare at each other around the men holding them apart. They will not succumb to the other, but they may to another.
“I can stop this.” I whisper aloud with the shock of my own realization of the logic.
“I was wondering how much longer it would take you.” Marxx tells me. His arms drop from around me. I am without his arms as my shield to protect me now, but I have truth as my lance. For once, finally, truth is on my side.
Lawless’ eyes swing to me with my movement from the side of the room. He was not intentionally looking for me. It was his senses, preparing him for any possible attack, which was signaled by my movement. The heat simmers in his honey-toned eyes seeing me walk towards him. His body relaxes a moment with the loss of his anger. It pulls Rhett’s eyes to me with how well attuned the men are to each others every subtle change. They are both waiting to see what I will do. Hell, so am I.
The world stalls in this moment. The colors leak away around me. The noise of their shouting is sinking below me. The fire I have let fade inside me quickens with what I am preparing myself to do.
She told me I have to give them my heart. He told me I have to choose a side. It will settle him. Lawless is not fighting for himself. He is fighting for me. Give me something to fight for, I told him. He is. Now I have to stop it, because he will not. He wanted me to see this. He wanted me to see that he is still holding hope for us. I see it. I wish I had not been so slow to see it. I really do need my own vest to help with these things.
The men relax some with the fact that a girl is so close to them as I come to the white tape. I never slow in my path to Lawless. I do not give him the chance to reject me, melting the courage from me that I am counting on to carry me through this. Rhett still holds onto him, unsure of what either of us will do after so long apart, and with so much under our bridge. His eyes still hold the rage I saw in them at the start of this, and my knees grow weak with my new fear of him. It turns my spine into water. My courage fails me in these few spaces left between us, but it is close enough.
Pushing Rhett aside, Lawless fills the steps I could not take to him. He grasps my head between his hands, forcing his lips down upon mine. His kisses me with all the anger he is feeling. The anger he feels for Dolph. The anger he feels from my words. The anger he feels from my actions. His anger is hot, and it scalds me, bringing me to life underneath him.
He is rough, forcing his tongue between my lips, and I swallow down all his rage. I let him bruise my lips the way he let Dolph bruise his body. The feel of his roughness pulls sounds from the depths of me that feeds him encouragements. He pushes the kiss further and harder. I can taste his blood like a warm copper coating my mouth. I pull from him, separating our lips to see him, but he is not looking at me. His eyes are locked on someone behind us, glowing with an unspoken message in them.
“Enough.” I whisper to him, with him still holding me tightly. “You’ve won.”
He looks to me with those very simple words. “You’ve won.” I tell him again, and he has.
CHAPTER 43
Paula makes the rounds of stitching cuts and inspecting the many lumps and bruises between the six men. Somehow, it has all become very funny to them. They are laughing, and congratulating, the best bruise or the deepest cut among them. They share war stories of past fights placing better marks on their bodies than the ones they are wearing now. Dolph and Lawless are less willing to fully give into the bonding. They are still sending cautious glances to one another between their stories and the laughter.
Rhett, either consciously or subconsciously, keeps putting himself between them, trying to block their view of the other. I look to Aimes to see if she is noticing it as well. She nods, telling me she is as curious as I am. Rhett’s job has always been to block J.D. from danger. Now, as he is mirroring another man’s movements, I wonder what it could mean for him. Has his loyalty switched with the many changes rolling over us? Has his Prince become his King? I prefer to think, with Rhett’s love for fighting, he is just hoping to catch a piece of it when they erupt. What better place for that to happen than in the middle of them.
Slowly, we all filter out from the gym amidst this new male reconciliation. Their new male high is not as peaked with so many watching us when we reach the third floor. Their enthusiasm is reined in with the many looks of shock, and confusion, from the other residents around us. Their laughter is contagious though, and soon the whole place enjoys the mood change of the leading men in our lives.
For once, the two sides do not retreat to their rooms to hide behind closed doors. Now they sit in the common area, lounging together, enjoying the company around them. Slowly, the other male residents blend in among them, sharing their own stories and laughter. Shelia and I stand together watching the melding of our families; finally. I wear the same smile of pride she wore when she opened these doors to us what seems so long ago.
She and I know though, there is still a long road ahead of us. This momentary milestone is to be rejoiced, yes, but not to be remiss of future sparring. There are still many things to settle, not only within our own family, but between theirs as well. The tension between Dolph and Lawless is still lingering like a magnetic pull. Their collision could shatter this fragile truce we are holding. If Ross is added, it could explode.
My mood shifts when I see Leslie slink into the room. Her jeans are painted on and her walk shows that she knows it. The blue tank top she wears also allows for no hidden surprises of her body. Her hair is pulled up high, letting the red waves frame her face, drawing the colors of her eyes deeper into their natural shade. If I did not hate her so much, she might make me question my sexual morality. Might.
Aimes c
omes to stand beside me. We are watching Leslie pretend to not notice that she has our attention. Aimes and I may not be on firm ice, but nothing brings women together, despite their differences, like the hate for another woman. Especially if that woman is in shoes better than yours.
“Watch this.” Aimes says to me. I turn to see her smiling with mischief with her hidden knowledge of what is about to happen.
I watch as Leslie walks behind the couch on which the main alphas from our families are sitting. Her fingertips trail along each broad shoulder as she passes. She leaves them silent in her wake like a Siren. She stops behind Lawless, and flashes a smile at us standing here watching her, before running her hands over his black hair in its close-cropped mohawk. Her body is bent over, allowing her to taste the flesh of his ear, his neck, and the hollow of his shoulder. He shivers with her playful action, causing a smile to spread across his lips.
“Yeah, this has been super fun to watch. What do you suggest for the encore?” My voice is as sour as the bile I taste watching them. “Shall we hold the camera for them?”
“That is not supposed to happen.” She sounds shocked at the show before us.
“Why? Afraid of losing your spot now?” My attitude is not improving as Leslie’s hands disappear from my view.
“They always refuse her. It is a group game for them. See how long until the skank catches on we aren’t talking to her kind of deal.” She ignores my taunt while watching the rules being broken. “If she even tries to touch them, they dodge her, still keeping her on ignore mode. I don’t understand.”
I smile at the pain of his betrayal in her voice. “What isn’t there to understand? Perky boobs. Tight ass. Possible end of the world. It is really simple math. Oh, and being easy kind of helps solve the whole what is x and y debate.”
“No Helena, you don’t understand.” She turns to me, placing her back to the couch. “He loves you. I mean really loves you. Romeo and Juliet deal.”
“Remind me again, who gets the poison and who gets the dagger? Just for the sake of staying true to the story. Would hate to mix that little detail up when I kill him.” I smile at her, letting her know how much I trust her.
“Actually, Romeo kills himself. Well, Juliet does, too.” I had forgotten Shelia was standing beside me. “So, just wait. If you want to stay true to the story.”
“Here comes the head Montague now.” Aimes nudges me, bringing my attention forward again.
J.D.’s powerful body strides over to us where we have been watching their little brouhaha. His face is showing the same feelings we are having over their encore. Lawless has pulled her down closer to him, enjoying the view her low cut top provides him, listening to the Siren sing her words. Too bad it is me that is drowning with her song, and not him.
“You going to just stand here and watch this?” J.D. looks to me, surprised with my lack of reaction.
I stare at him with complete disinterest in his words. “Did you just bite your thumb at us, Sir?”
The female giggling only adds to his confusion over my statement. I guess it was not mandatory reading for everyone after all. Maybe it just wasn’t for him.
“I’m getting too old for this shit.” He mutters to himself as he joins our picket line watching the show. “I’m gonna have to spell this out for you? I think you know exactly what he is doing.”
“Trying to catch a serious case of Skank?” Aimes asks him. “You should probably warn him, with the whole Zombie Apocalypse going on, there is a shortage of cream for that.”
“No, he is testing me. He stepped into the ring today. Now he wants to see if I will, too.” I answer them both. J.D. looks to me with a sense of pride. “Please, Lawless is a lot of things that I have discovered as of late, but deep is not one of them. Ever.”
All three of them stare at me now. I am not sure what they are expecting from me. “What? You want me to walk over there, take her by the hair, and slam her face against the coffee table?”
“That would be totally amazing!” Aimes’ excitement of my idea raises the pitch of her voice and widens her eyes.
“Old Hells would.” J.D. says, daring me with his grin of approval.
“The old Hells also caused a lot of people to get hurt and worse. I was thinking I might need a little self-improvement.” I will not take the bait.
“I totally get the improve thy self stint, but could you do that after you totally smash her face in? Too much to ask?” Aimes holds complete hope in my possible answer with steeple fingers of begging.
“I am not smashing her face in.”
“Can you bludgeon it a little bit?”
“No.
“Not even a smidge?”
“No.”
“How about if you just trip her, and let her face fall into the table, all accidental like?”
“OK.”
“Really?”
“No.”
“Buzz kill.”
“Sorry.”
Aimes and I fall into our old pattern of rapid conversation without meaning to. We both smile at each other with our verbal volley at an end. Falling back into our old habits is reaffirming the fact that our bond may be bent, but it is not broken.
“Never thought I would miss hearing that.” J.D. chuckles. “What are you going to do, Hells?”
The idea of smashing her smiling face across the wooden table in front of them does fill me with warm fuzzies. A few loose teeth in that smile she is spreading for Lawless would do my soul good. Truth is, with its pointy fangs, she is not the one that owes me any loyalty. The whole “last man on earth” threat could very well be true soon. I do not blame her for trying for Lawless. I blame him for forgetting where home is. As J.D. told me, sometimes you just have to be reminded.
Aimes nudges Shelia. “She has a plan. I smell the smoke.”
I always thought the first step was the hardest. It is not. It is the second step. When your brain finally wakes up to what you are about to do, that is when the fear gets real. The third is not much fun either. That is when everyone notices you are taking steps. The third might also be the hardest because that is when your friend wants to shout encouragement.
“Hey y’all come watch this!” Aimes shouts from behind me in a war cry fashion. They do.
The men scatter with my path towards them. Rhett actually has the sense of humor to pull the table from the couch with his departure as he smiles at me. Even Simon encourages Richard and Dolph to give me space while wearing a smile that would make Ross envious. My female outburst must be legendary with the speed they are moving.
Lawless stands as I draw close to him. He doesn’t move with the rest of them but plants his feet in a dare to come to him. His hands are resting inside the slanted leather vest’s pockets, causing his arms to fold at the elbows with his silent refusal to help me. It gives Leslie the idea is to provide her with extra security behind him, with his arms spread wider from the vest’s effect. She attempts to lean against his back, but he steps forward, putting space between her and himself. He will not choose sides. It is up to me now.
His eyes are heavy with the unsaid words between us. It tints them a darker brown than their normal warm shade. He is trying to wear his mask, but the edges keep slipping, showing me moments of pleading with his need to end this between us. He is walking a wire with his dare to me, and it is cutting him deeper than he thought it would.
“What do you want from me?” His voice is hoarse with the tension between us.
Leslie knows she is about to lose this battle with his yearning for peace. She slips her arms around him in the space left between his arms and the vest, hinting at her own answer to his question.
His head rolls up with her contact, closing his eyes in frustration. “Let go.” He says to the ceiling, but he is telling it to her. His voice is at a dangerous level of anger.
I watch her arms slide slowly from his waist, and my own mask slips as he looks back to me with my smile. He stands still, waiting for me to give him my a
nswer, not moved by my smile of his refusal with her.
My body moves with a boldness I have thought I had lost. My hands glide along the soft leather to wrap around his neck, cradling his head down to me. I stare into his eyes that are swaying rapidly back and forth trying to gain some clue to my thoughts. I know this man. I know every feature of his body, and I know how to use mine to make his respond.
Rising up to diminish the space between us, I tilt my head, pulling his closer to me. My lips are a mere moment from his and I stand here holding us in this position as we stare at each other. Our bodies are sealed together, letting him feel the beat of my heart and the heat of my core. He is fighting his urge to hold me, so afraid of what I may say to him, with our many biting words haunting us.
“I’ll tell you everything.” I whisper against his lips, bringing back the memory of his promise to me last night. “Just give me a little more time.”
My words are private and meant only for us. This moment draws my pain visibly to the surface. I feel my cheeks grow wet with it. I give to him what he needs the most from me; my heart.
He nods, forcing his own tears back with the tight squeezing of his eyes. I seal my promise to him with a gentle sweep of my lips on his. Anything more will undo us both at this moment, stripping us of the war we are fighting internally.
“I need you.” I whisper against those same lips that are now trembling. I whisper words I have never had the conviction to say to him before. “I love you.”
His arms enfold me, pulling me tighter against him. He is trembling in our embrace, wrapping his whole body around mine. “I’ll give you all the time you need. Just don’t lose me.” He whispers into my neck.
The Risen (Book 1): Dawning Page 28