It brought a smile to his face. A distraction, at least.
“What was that for?” he asked.
“For you.” I grabbed his hand. “Let’s go.”
“Where?”
Anywhere but here. I dragged him away from the crowd down a narrow side path. A door along the side of the building was locked so we kept going to the rear of the community center. A miniscule parking lot held two cars parked side by side and a tiny courtyard. Actually, it was just a tree with a bench under it. Good enough.
I slumped down onto the bench, relieved to have escaped the press. Ben sat beside me, so close his thigh rubbed against mine. Somehow I didn’t think avoiding photographers was foremost on his mind.
He slipped his arm around me and drew me closer. The citrus aroma of his shampoo wafted across. I hoped I didn’t smell like Cheetos. He tilted his head, looking at me through lowered lids, and I felt a delicious sense of anticipation.
Then he kissed me, like I knew he would, and I kissed him right back.
“That’s not why I brought you here,” I mumbled.
He titled my chin up with one hand. “Still, we might as well make the most of it.”
So we did. Hell, I liked being with Ben. It made me feel good. And I was making up for lost time. Time – not much of that left.
After a while, he left his arm around me and pulled me close so my head was nestled on his shoulder. Shaded by the surrounding buildings and the tree, no sunlight could get through so it was surprisingly cold though Ben made me feel warm and safe.
“We got some bad news the other day,” I said. “My mom has breast cancer.”
I don’t know why I blurted it out like that. Earlier I’d wanted to share the news, horrible though it was, with Lauren but I hadn’t been able to get the words out.
Ben loosened his hold, then leaned back to look at me.
“Sorry, that kind of ruined the moment,” I said.
“That’s okay, Nic. You’re upset. I can see that.”
He gave me a big hug which was exactly the right thing to do, as I told him about the prognosis and how scared I was. He listened and nodded, also the right thing to do.
After a while, he asked, “Your mom’s nice, isn’t she?”
A strange question. “Of course she’s nice.”
“My mother wasn’t. At least that’s not how I remember her.”
People generally spoke respectfully of the dead, not to mention which they usually had a soft spot for their mothers. I might not be an expert on families and relationships but even I’d noticed that much.
“What did she do that was so bad?” I asked.
“She killed herself.”
I hadn’t seen that coming despite the fact I knew she was dead.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“You don’t need to be when you didn’t do anything.”
Though he was trying to sound casual, bitterness tinged Ben’s words. His loss was much bigger than he was willing to admit.
“What happened?” I asked.
“Mom had post-natal depression after Celia was born, and it never got any better. She couldn’t shake it, couldn’t live with it, couldn’t live with us any more. I didn’t really understand what was going on. I was only twelve.”
“Does Celia remember her?”
“No, she was only two.”
“But you remember?”
“I remember everything.”
The sadness in his eyes told me that wasn’t a good thing.
“Is that why you got so upset when we were studying together?” I asked.
“Yes.”
I cast my mind back to that night. The circulatory system…blood loss…a question about how much blood you could lose before the onset of death.
“Is that how she killed herself?” I asked.
He nodded. “She slit her wrists.”
I turned my hand over and stared at the blue veins that stood out against my pale skin. Red and white blood cells were being pumped through my body, along with something else. Geopositrons.
Ben’s words came back to me. Blood is life.
When he’d said that, I hadn’t known how deep the words ran, how personal, how cutting.
I reached for his hand and enveloped it between both of mine. “Does it get easier?”
A small smile. “Yeah, it does. I know she was ill and that it wasn’t her fault. I understand a little better now.”
After a while I asked, “Do you believe in life after death?”
“No. I believe in a lot of things – in science and facts and also in intuition, but not in life after death.” He added with a shrug, “My dad says that Mom lives on in me and Celia and Josh.”
“What about alternate universes?”
“If the scientific evidence is there, I’m willing to listen. My dad also says that if Mom could’ve looked into the future, she’d have seen she could’ve got over the depression eventually and that things would’ve got better.”
I swallowed. “Do you believe we’ll be able to travel through time one day?”
“Maybe. Time is relative, not absolute. At least that’s what Einstein said and he was a lot smarter than me. Traveling backwards would be easier than traveling into the future. If we could travel faster than the speed of light, we’d be able to see what just happened and look into the past. That’s the theory anyway.”
My heart raced. It was too soon to tell him where I was from. Still, there was a chance one day soon he might believe me, a chance I might be able to help him.
“But if you could travel one way, then surely you’d be able to travel in the other direction too,” I said.
“That’s all academic.” Ben smiled slyly, his eyes narrowing. “Nicola, are you trying to get out of kissing me?”
I leaned closer, my lips parted. “Actually, that’s something I’d like to do more of.”
We kissed but it didn’t feel right, not after the news about my mom and not after what he’d told me about his mother.
Ben took my hand and slowly stood. “I was thinking about you and your mom. You know how I’m interested in medicine and research? It’s more than that. I’d like to help people. One day I’d like to discover a cure for cancer. I know it sounds incredible but that’s what I’d like to do.”
My mouth fell open. A light bulb went off in my head.
I jumped to my feet. “Maybe you will one day.”
He shrugged it off. “Ah, I’m just dreaming.”
“I’m serious. Maybe you’ll really do it one day.”
“Yep, and if we could look into the future the way my dad suggested, we’d know it was going to happen.”
That was it exactly. It was at least half right. I knew a cure for cancer would be discovered one day. But when? And by whom?
I barely dared think it. Ben would definitely have a significant role in scientific or medical research if he was supposedly the one who discovered the killer virus. What if he also discovered the cure for cancer? Could the two be linked?
Holding my hand, Ben ambled toward the side path. “I like the way you ask stupid questions and say whatever comes into your head.”
“Not all my questions are stupid.” Even as I said the words, I realized how incriminating they sounded.
“With you, what you see is what you get.”
“Is that good?”
“It means you’re honest. You’re not trying to impress anyone. I don’t like it when people pretend to be something they’re not.”
That’s exactly what I was doing.
I’d lied to everyone. Sure, it had been part of the job, such a small aspect of the mission I hadn’t even given it a second thought. I was supposed to pretend to be a regular high school student, something I wasn’t. I was supposed to lie to my friends, parents, teachers, everyone, as part of my cover.
I was a liar and a fake and I’d done a damn good job of it.
Now I’d lied to my superior officers too, the deadliest lie of all,
because there was no way they’d let me live after this.
Strangely that was the only lie I didn’t care about because it was the right thing to do.
Not that I wanted to die, far from it, but I could never be a murderer. My superiors were the killers, not me.
Maybe it was just as well I didn’t have much time left in Altabena. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep this up.
I had to convince Ben I was a liar.
To get him to believe the truth.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Only six more days left. Time was slipping through my fingers.
I’d been doing all the right things. I went to school and did my homework, helped around the house, spent time with my parents and a lot more time catching up with my friends. Life was good, except for the part where my mother had cancer and I was about to be booted out of Altabena, never to see any of my friends again. Apart from that, things were going beautifully.
Having woken up before my alarm had gone off, I got out of bed and opened the plantation shutters to let in some light. Another sunny day with a smattering of fluffy white clouds in the sky. Plenty of sunshine here in California. No wonder everyone seemed so happy.
I might as well head for the shower. Since I was in the habit of wearing pajamas, I could head down the hallway sans bathrobe without fear of shocking anyone in the house.
Glancing around the room, I saw a slender item sitting on my desk, and froze. How long had that been there? It wasn’t there when I went to sleep last night. They must’ve transferred it while I slept.
I stepped closer to my desk and picked up the PR device, the more advanced one my superior officers had tried to give me before I’d left New Nation. Of course, they could send it to me here in Altabena. I could never get away from them. No point even trying.
In New Nation, the government always knew where we were. They knew everything and had many ways of keeping tabs on people.
A message was waiting for me on the new PR
Reply immediately to confirm receipt of this message. Provide update on mission status and whether you have closed in on the target.
There was no ‘please’, I noticed, not that I was expecting one. I didn’t have to answer them. I didn’t have to do anything. I threw the device at the opposite corner of the room behind the door – for all the good it would do.
There was a quick knock and Mom pushed the door open.
“I heard something,” she said, concern in her eyes. “Everything okay, Nicola?”
“Fine, Mom,” I said.
“Okay.”
She glanced around, seemed satisfied with my answer and closed the door behind her as she left.
I stomped to the corner of the room, picked up the damn device and slumped on my bed. Perhaps I could use it to check the New Nation networks and do some snooping of my own. I started looking.
Several sources all confirmed the same information: Ben Tanner discovered the cure for cancer in 2041. I knew it.
So why would the rebel generals send me back in time to kill someone who cures cancer? My pulse racing, I kept searching.
The chemical composition of the cancer cure formed the basis for that of the killer virus, so one thing followed from the other. There appeared to have been some sort of industrial espionage and a person or group of people stole the cancer-curing compound, creating the killer virus as a side effect. The identity of the thieves was never verified.
My superior officers couldn’t send me back in time to kill the industrial thieves because they didn’t know who they were. Instead they’d sent me back to kill Ben.
They wanted to stop the virus because that was what allowed Bartley to consolidate his power. Without the virus, Bartley’s authoritarian regime would never have become all-encompassing. That was what the rebel generals wanted: a democratic future for our country without the Bartley government.
And Ben was in the way. His discoveries led to the creation of the killer virus. The generals didn’t care whether Ben was innocent or that he discovered a cure for cancer. That wasn’t relevant.
My superior officers were using me. I could use them too. My heart thumped in my chest.
I typed in my reply, advising them that though the target had relocated, I was closing on him.
Two minutes later, they replied.
Message received. L.
Lucien was at the other end. I drummed my fingers on the edge of the bed. Perhaps he still felt a hint of loyalty for me or perhaps he was blindly obedient to the generals. I couldn’t be sure.
Still, I had nothing to lose. I typed in a request for a vial of the cancer cure. Generals Willis and Tan would never send it but maybe Lucien would. Only one way to find out.
No response. I stared at my desk, willing a vial to appear among my books. Nothing. Then again, even if Lucien complied, it’d take time for him obtain a sample of the cure.
Next I deleted all the information about Ben from my old PR device. School records, photos, personal details, everything. I wished I could obliterate the information completely however the only way to be certain was to destroy the PR device and that could only be done at a government installation. Still, there might be a way.
Time was running out.
I only wished I could do more.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Ambling down the hall at school, I turned to see Ben coming up behind me. It was as if I’d sensed his presence.
He sidled closer. “Looking forward to math today?”
“Not particularly,” I said as we walked. I’d learnt long ago that this was the correct answer, regardless of my personal inclination.
“Do you want to ditch class?”
The Ben I knew was a good student so this didn’t sound like him at all. What he’d suggested was against the rules, though luckily I stopped myself from saying that and appearing like a complete dork.
“You’re not worried about what Ms. Di Giorgio will do when she finds out?” I asked.
He shook his head. “We can go back to my place. We’ll have the house to ourselves. There’s no one else home.”
“Sure,” I said. “Did you want to do some extra study?”
Ben put his arm around me. “Yeah, we can do some work on anatomy.”
“But we don’t have any anatomy homework,” I said.
He laughed, gave my shoulder a squeeze. “Sometimes you’re really funny.”
Hilarious.
Then he got all serious on me and asked, “You’re sure you want to come over, Nic?”
“Yes,” I said, though I had the distinct feeling I was missing something.
As it turned out, cutting class was easier than I thought. We simply walked off the school grounds. I wasn’t going to be here much longer so I didn’t need to worry about getting into trouble for truanting and Ben seemed to be doing what everyone else around here did. He’d worry about the consequences later and enjoy himself in the meantime.
Passing through Ben’s house, we headed for the backyard to make the most of the sunshine. He swiped a couple of towels from the hall closet on the way. It was eerily quiet inside, reminding me there was no one else home and that we shouldn’t be here.
We stepped through the French doors at the back of the house onto a patio bordered by flowerbeds overflowing with greenery. The lawn looked freshly mowed, the smell of clippings hanging in the air.
A pool glimmered at the rear of the yard, drawing me to it. Blue mosaic tiles lined its edges and water trickled into the pool along a rock feature, the sound soothing.
I dumped my bag beside a plastic recliner, sat down and kicked off my sneakers and socks.
Looking up, I saw Ben behind me, his hands on his hips.
“You can go inside and get your swim trunks,” I said. “I’ll wait.”
There was a strange sparkle in his eye. “We don’t need swimwear.”
“No problem.”
It wouldn’t be the first time I’d gone swimming in my underwear. I
whipped off my school shirt and skirt and stepped closer to dip my toes into the pool. Still fully clothed, Ben sidled up behind me. His hands on my waist made me feel small. Made me feel a little sexy too, if I was going to be honest.
“Can I interest you in a little skinny dipping?” His breath was warm on my neck.
I’d heard the term ‘skinny dipping’ mentioned in old movies. His question was still an odd one. I thought nudity wasn’t acceptable in Altabena, something I’d worked out on my first day.
Since I didn’t wish to muck things up again, I said. “Just in our underwear is fine.”
Stepping up onto the edge of the pool, I dived in and felt the water caress my body. I was an able swimmer and had trained hard in the past, but I’d never enjoyed the sensation of water more than I did at that moment. My senses were heightened, maybe because of Ben’s presence or maybe because I didn’t have much time left. Either way, I was making the most of it.
I relaxed when I got to the other end, my back to the pool wall, my arms draped along its edge.
My eyes were fixed on Ben. He stood at the far end wearing only a pair of fitted athletic trunks that clung to the top of his thighs, his waist and everywhere in between. His shoulders were broad, his arms and chest well muscled. I already knew he had the brains. Clearly, he had the brawn too.
Besides, he was a good person who would go on to do wonderful things for humankind. He was going to discover the cure for cancer. He wasn’t going to release a killer virus into the air. Someone else was going to do that.
And I was allowed to admire Ben. What else was I supposed to do when he was standing there looking so hunky? There was no law against ogling, or at least I didn’t think there was.
He dived in, heading my way underwater, but I ducked out of the way before he reached me. We chased each other in and out of the pool, splashed around wildly and made a whirlpool. At one point, I pushed Ben in and he pretended to be offended.
I enjoyed every moment of it, every touch and shove and giggle.
Panting, I sat on the steps at one end of the pool to rest. Ben joined me, planting his hands on the step on either side of my hips as if caging me in. He was panting too, that strange glimmer back in his eye.
Infiltration (Infiltration Book 1) Page 16