Aunt Helen shook her head, looking mildly put off, and gestured for David to carry his stepfather’s suitcase up to the bedroom. As David passed me, he gave me a quick wink, which of course made my heart beat like crazy.
I cursed my revealing heart and went up to my uncle, who had disengaged himself from Agathe. “Uncle Matthias . . .” I started. On the one hand, I was excited to see him; on the other, I was nervous that he would mistake me for my mother again.
“Elisa,” he said, looking at me in amazement. “How wonderful to see you back here.”
Relieved that he recognized me right away, I took a few big steps toward him. He spread his arms wide and pulled me into a warm hug.
“You gave us all a nasty scare,” I whispered, fighting against my tears.
“At least some good came of my stay in the hospital,” he replied as he squeezed me tighter. “You’re finally back.”
I snuffled in a not very ladylike manner, let go of my uncle, and beamed at him. “And don’t leave as suddenly as you arrived.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll stick around for a bit.”
Pale with sunken cheeks, he still looked somewhat sick, but he looked worlds better than he had at the hospital.
“I hope you’re hungry, because Agathe has cooked up copious quantities of your favorite dish,” I said.
My uncle’s eyes brightened and he headed purposefully into the kitchen, where the clatter of pots could be heard.
I ran up the stairs to call my mother and give her an update on Uncle Matthias’s recovery. I passed Kristina’s room in the hall. My cousin seemed to be arguing on the phone again. I stepped closer, curious. I pressed my ear to the wooden door but heard only unintelligible muttering. After a few moments, I gave up and went back to my room. But I couldn’t get Kristina and her conversation off my mind. Who was she arguing with? And why?
Though I was pleased about her change of heart toward me—she now treated me as though I’d never left Düsseldorf—it was odd how quickly her attitude had changed from ice-cold to warm. Was she only faking it? But I had to stop this. These messages were making me paranoid.
My cell phone chirped, interrupting my thoughts. I groaned at the sight of another message from Carsten. I deleted it without reading it and tried to reach my mother.
I left her a voice mail, albeit reluctantly; I’d much rather have reached her directly. But at least my mother no longer had to worry about Uncle Matthias. I was just trying to figure out what to do next when there was an energetic knock on my door. After my prompt to enter, Lukas tore open the door and grinned widely at me.
“Have you gone back into hiding?”
“No, worse.”
He came in and closed the door behind him. “Spill it.”
“I’m bored to death here.” I didn’t mention that the odd messages were keeping me up at night. Lukas seemed so happy that his father was better that I didn’t want to bring up the strange messages just then.
“You could do my homework,” proposed Lukas. “Or you could go have a little chat with Uncle Justus or work in the garden under my mother’s supervision.”
I took a pillow from the bed and threw it at him. “When hell freezes over.”
Lukas ducked and the pillow missed. “I can’t help it if you won’t take me up on any of my suggestions. You did ask me after all.”
Another pillow followed, and this time it hit its mark. Laughing, Lukas grabbed it and was about to crush me with it, but I was saved by my ringing phone.
Hoping that it was my mother calling back, I bolted for the bureau and grabbed it. Seeing Carsten’s name on the screen, I rejected the call and sighed, disappointed.
“Everything all right?” Lukas asked.
“Just my ex-boyfriend.”
“And why won’t you take his call?”
“Because he won’t accept that it’s over.” I lay back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. “And I’m in no mood for an endless conversation about it right now.”
“I can understand that.” Lukas threw the pillow at me halfheartedly and walked over to the window.
When he started to laugh, I sat up.
“What is it?”
“The dogs and Uncle Justus are hunting the cat in the garden.”
I jumped up and went over to the window. We opened the window and leaned over the windowsill to watch the show.
We watched Uncle Justus leap over a small hedge in an attempt to cut off Anastasia. The dogs were clearly enjoying the hunt, as they wasted no time following him through the hedge. But the cat managed to scale a tree and could no longer be seen in the thick branches. Obviously out of breath, Uncle Justus stopped at the tree’s base and called Anastasia by name, while the dogs jumped and yelped around his legs. That cat would never come down with them around.
As we laughed at the spectacle and let the sun shine on our faces, I momentarily forgot my troubles.
Lukas poked my shoulder. “So, is it really that bad here?”
I didn’t answer right away.
“No. I should have come back sooner.”
“You see,” he said, grinning, “you should have listened to me.”
“I was just afraid that everything would remind me of my father.”
My cousin nodded sadly.
“And does it?”
“Sometimes. But they’re mostly good memories. How we all used to celebrate Christmas together and make bonfires in the garden, or how we used to tell each other scary stories in the old wine cellar.”
“Do you remember how you singed off your eyebrows when you roasted marshmallows too close to the fire?”
“How could I ever forget!” I’d always remember the weeks that followed, when I refused to go out in public without my sunglasses.
Lukas tried to suppress a snicker. “Sometimes you just magically attracted bad luck.”
“If I remember correctly, you were responsible for half my injuries.”
“But were you ever bored when I was around?”
I shook my head and smiled. I had to hand it to Lukas—he didn’t give a person time to brood.
That night, I headed down to the dining room with real enthusiasm for the first time. With Uncle Matthias finally home, Uncle Justus had already been noticeably more pleasant, and Valerie was on her best behavior.
As I passed the library, I heard voices. I stopped, unable to contain my curiosity. Unfortunately, I’d turned into a first-class snoop over the last few days. But as someone once so beautifully said: desperate times call for desperate measures. Staying hidden, I crept closer to the door, which was slightly ajar. I peeked throughout it and saw David and Valerie engaged in a heated discussion in front of the fireplace. Valerie, her face scarlet, was delivering some kind of lecture to David, who had shoved his hands in his pockets and was staring sullenly in front of him. I knew this expression meant that he wasn’t going to stand for any nonsense.
Unfortunately, Valerie had lowered her voice to a strained whisper, so I couldn’t grasp what she was saying to David. She went over to him and laid a hand on his arm, which he immediately brushed off. That seemed to aggravate Valerie even more. She raised her hand like she wanted to slap him in the face.
But David grabbed her arms tightly. I recognized the icy look in her eyes. He let go of her arm, turned around, and headed toward the door.
I quickly left my observation post and slipped into the dining room next door. My heart pounding, I sat down in my chair and looked around.
Uncle Matthias, who looked noticeably better after a short afternoon nap, sat at the head of the table and asked Agathe to add more meatballs to his plate.
My smiling aunt sat next to him and stroked his arm. She barely seemed able to sit still, she was so happy. She hardly got upset when Agathe accidentally spilled some sauce on the tablecloth.
Lu
kas and Kristina bickered good-naturedly with one another as they discussed the plan for the evening; they currently favored billiards. And Uncle Justus appeared to be in good spirits—the red scratches on the back of his hand suggested that he’d gotten his cat back.
But the jovial atmosphere in the room cooled noticeably when David and Valerie entered. David wore a stony expression as he took his seat across from me, completely ignoring Valerie, who—it goes without saying—sat as close to him as possible.
I gave David an encouraging smile but got no reaction from him. I looked at my plate and fiddled with my starched napkin. Why did I let him upset me so much? I knew what the answer suggested, but I tried to fight it. I was powerless though. My gaze was inevitably drawn back to him, and I lost myself in contemplation of his captivating face.
“Elisa?”
Startled, I looked around. Who had said my name?
Lukas waved at me with his spoon.
“Earth to Elisa.”
“I’m sorry, my mind was just wandering.” I felt a suggestive flush of red spread across my cheeks.
“So it seems.” He studied me carefully and banged his spoon on the table. “Dad and I asked how long you’re going to stay. You haven’t specified yet.”
“Because I don’t know myself.” I held my plate up to Agathe so that she could fill it with meatballs and mashed potatoes. “I still have a week of vacation, so I plan to stay at least that long.”
Panic raged through my body as I sat restlessly in my chair. In order to distract myself, I scratched small patterns into the tablecloth with the fork. I followed the geometric forms with my eyes, trying to lose myself in the endless lines. I couldn’t look Elisa in the eye, couldn’t endure her presence any longer. Why was she still here? Hadn’t she already done enough damage?
Apparently, my messages had not been clear enough. She would be tempting fate if she stayed any longer.
I pushed the capers to the edge of the plate. I looked up and glanced at Uncle Matthias, who was smiling at me. I was delighted to see that his face had gotten a little more color. But I was simultaneously overcome by a wave of painful memories of my father. Uncle Matthias looked so much like him. I decided to go to the cemetery the following day. I hadn’t set foot in it since the funeral.
Dinner seemed to have worn Uncle Matthias out, because he made a rather abrupt exit and let himself be escorted upstairs by a worried-looking Aunt Helen. Uncle Justus muttered something under his breath and also left the dining room in haste. “The old sovereignties have taken their leave, and now only we remain.” Lukas looked at us. “What do we do now?”
“Count me out, I have a mountain of work to do,” David said as he stood up from the table and started to walk away.
“At least his excuse isn’t a lazy one,” Lukas said.
“Not everyone gets to be on vacation doing whatever they like all day,” David said, turning to face Lukas. “Most of us have to work in the morning.”
“Ah, the fine Master Lawyer always knows what to say.” Lukas obviously enjoyed provoking his stepbrother.
“Let’s not start on this again,” David said. “You could have studied law and followed in Dad’s footsteps too.”
“So I could be a spiffy con man, like you?”
Kristina, who had likely witnessed this discussion many times before, stepped between them and tried to mediate. “Knock it off, both of you! Dad has just barely gotten home and you’re already fighting.” She looked angrily from one to the other. “When will you finally grow up?”
Lukas pointed angrily at David. “You have no idea how many times I’ve asked him if he’d like join us some night, but he always turns me down.”
David merely waved his hand sullenly and left the room without a word.
Valerie, who remained seated at the table, followed him with her eyes. She seemed to be debating whether she should go after him but probably didn’t want to show any weakness.
I too had to force myself not to go after David. But I had learned in the past that he wouldn’t accept help. He’d built a real wall around himself and pushed away anyone who got too close. I remembered the moment when I finally gave up trying to get through to him.
My sandals squeaked on the linoleum floors of the abandoned school halls. Actually, I had the day off from school, because the high school graduates—David among them—were taking their oral exams that day. Without any raucous students romping about on the playground and filling the halls with chatter, the school felt a bit eerie. I opened the door to the hallway for seniors—which was strictly off-limits for middle schoolers—and found David waiting outside a classroom with his examination materials.
When he heard my footsteps, he glanced up from his notes and looked at me in amazement. “Elisa, what are you doing here?” he asked, sounding concerned.
I cleared my throat. Perhaps my idea hadn’t been such a good one.
“You weren’t at breakfast this morning.”
“So?” His gray eyes looked at me coldly. “I came straight here to get some studying done at the library.”
“I wanted to give you my good-luck charm.” I timidly held out the old Roman coin that my grandfather had given me. I carried it in my pocket for every test.
David took the coin and scrutinized it. Neither of us said anything.
“Do you seriously believe that a stupid coin can help me?” he asked, looking disdainful.
“But”—my voice broke—“I just wanted to wish you good luck on the test and thought you might like my good-luck charm.”
David pressed the coin back into my hand. “Just leave me alone, okay? I really need to concentrate. I can’t be bothered with this kid stuff.”
Angry—because I’d been so naive and he was so mean—I threw the coin at him and snarled, “I hope the examiner asks you the hardest questions and that you fail!” I ran off without waiting for his response. I couldn’t put enough distance between us. Swearing, I pushed open the door and ran down the stairs. I only wanted one thing: to leave school and forget it had ever happened.
When I caught sight of other high school graduates in the front hall, I avoided them by heading into the girl’s bathroom. I looked in the smudged mirror above the sink and was horrified at the sight of the blotchy, red-eyed face reflected back at me. Was it going to be like this forever? Me in love with David, chasing after him, and having him stomp all over my feelings?
With jittery hands, I turned the faucet on and washed my face in ice-cold water. As I composed my thoughts, I began breathing more evenly. But I swore to myself that I had already given David his final chance.
Friday
For the first time since my arrival, I slept soundly, which unfortunately meant I missed breakfast. So I headed into the kitchen, swiped a croissant, and poured myself a large cup of coffee while Agathe caught me up on the latest gossip. She always followed all the news on European royalty and was up to date on every juicy detail.
Sated and well informed, I went back to my room. But as I passed the open door to my uncle’s office, I stopped, confused. The clacking of the keyboard and the rattling of the printer indicated that my uncle was working instead of resting. I knocked politely on the door before I entered.
“Elisa,” my uncle said and looked at me pleasantly. “What can I do for you?”
“Good morning.” I stood in the middle of the room, feeling uncertain as I stared at the mountains of paperwork piled on his desk. “I wanted to encourage you to listen to your doctors and not plunge right back into work.”
“I wasn’t expressly forbidden to catch up on my work.”
“No, but you really should take it easy.”
Uncle Matthias—who looked ready for business in his light-blue shirt and tie—motioned for me to take a seat in the chair in front of his desk. His face was still thin, making his features look more angular than usu
al.
He looked up at me, over his reading glasses, which always sat somewhat crookedly on his distinctive nose.
“You’ve really changed.”
“Yeah?” I made a disbelieving face.
“It’s not your short hair,” he said, clearly hesitating. “You’ve grown up.”
“Rubbish,” I said, making a face.
“And become a successful photographer.”
I didn’t know how to respond to these compliments. Did Uncle Matthias really know my work? I couldn’t imagine he did. He opened a desk drawer and rummaged around in it. He pulled out a tattered newspaper and leafed through it.
“This photo is my favorite,” he said, proudly turning the two-page spread around to me.
I was touched when I recognized the images I’d shot for a prestigious travel magazine. The year before, I’d traveled to Venice to do a photo essay covering the city’s Carnival. I’d taken the picture that Uncle Matthias was pointing to early one morning on an unusually deserted St. Mark’s Square. The first rays of light had just broken through the clouds, shining over the trash and empty champagne bottles strewn on the pavement. The photo was of an ornate Venetian mask that had carelessly fallen in a puddle. The red sequins reflected the sunlight, lending the image a touch of magic.
I was especially proud of this photograph. That hint of magic I’d captured had been an important step in being taken seriously in my field. I’d been getting better commissions that paid more ever since.
“Could you maybe make me a copy?” Uncle Matthias asked.
I could only nod, because my voice failed me. I would never have thought that my uncle would take such an interest in my work. I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“I’ll send it to you when I get back to Berlin.”
“Or you can bring it the next time you visit.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
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