“Don’t mention me,” I said quickly.
Serena gave me a look. “Sar, he knows how I feel about him, especially about being his lover. I don’t think he’ll believe that I just came to my senses out of the blue. I can’t just smile and say, ‘By the way, it’s okay if you want my services’.”
Probably not. Lash was as smart as I was, if not smarter. “Fine, then,” I amended. “Tell him that I told you how good he was, and you want to experience it for yourself. How’s that?”
“Okay,” she said with a shrug of her shoulders. “But I still don’t understand why you want me to do this if it’s you who care about him.”
“Because I need to focus on my marriage, which is falling apart. I need to spend time with my children. My oldest son is almost an adult, and I want to spend time with him before it’s too late. Elle isn’t too far behind—”
Serena nodded, sipping her coffee.
“—and Venus already is no longer a baby. She’s going to say her first word any day now. Devon has doubled in size, and he’s getting bigger too. Theo plans on helping him change for the first time in November.”
“Do you know how old he’ll be when he changes?” Serena asked.
“Maybe two or three?” I offered. “I’m not sure. We want him to be old enough that he isn’t so helpless like Theoron was when he was a baby.”
“You should bring him with you sometimes. Venus is his twin. They have to be missing each other. They’ve been separated since birth.”
She was right; Venus should see Devon. The question was how to arrange to bring the twins together when their two fathers hated one another. And that wasn’t the only obstacle. “Has Venus stopped biting you yet?”
Serena shook her head. “Every single time, like clockwork. I think sometimes she does it just because she likes my blood, and other times just so she can hear me yelp a little—”
That was disturbing. “Take me to her,” I said resolutely. “It’s time I held her.”
“Sar, I don’t think—”
“Serena, she’s going to bite me the first time anyway,” I replied, getting to my feet. “You’re strong enough; you can pull her off me if you have to. Besides, Theoron stopped biting me once he had a taste of my blood. Maybe that’s all she needs, too.”
Serena shrugged, but she got up and put her coffee cup in the sink.
When we arrived at the door to the nursery, Devlin was waiting inside, Venus in his arms. They both looked at me with their matching golden eyes, though Dev’s held fear. “Are you sure, Love?” he said hesitantly. “You don’t have to do this. I don’t want you to be hurt.”
My eyes narrowed. I’d known he was up here listening to us. “Might as well try,” I said, putting a brave smile on my face. “Give her to me.”
Devlin very carefully handed our daughter to me.
“Hello, V,” I said softly.
She looked up at me, then bared her fangs in a hiss. Careful not to touch her with my bare skin, I sat down in the rocking chair and held her loosely. Venus calmed down at once, her liquid gold eyes large and curious in her small exquisite face.
She was enthrallingly perfect with her red lips, ivory skin, and her beautiful, beautiful eyes. “You don’t know me well, but I’m your mom,” I said in admiration. “I hope you don’t bite me, my little goddess.”
Serena and Devlin were hushed beside me, all of us waiting for something to happen. But Venus just lay there, looking up at me, not making a sound.
“She’s as quiet as Theoron was,” I whispered finally.
“Perhaps all dhamphirs are,” Devlin said, laying his hand tenderly on my shoulder.
“Say cheese!” Serena squeaked happily.
I looked up in shock. Serene had Dev’s digital camera/phone in her hands, and she snapped a few pictures before I could say anything.
“Serena, stop taking pictures!” I said grumpily as she snapped away. “I’m in my robe, and my hair’s a mess—Youch!”
In my desire to get Serena to stop, I’d forgotten caution and curled a hand over the edge of the blanket. Venus had struck immediately.
Devlin grabbed hold of her, and began to pry her off me.
“Wait!” I gasped, pain radiating down my arm. “Let me see if she stops on her own.”
Devlin paused for a minute, watching our daughter feed from my wrist. Venus was swallowing me down as if there were no tomorrow, almost gulping, the same happy noises that Devlin and Danial always made when feeding on me filling the air. Yet while I felt it was right to feed my daughter from my body, I also felt that it was wrong for her to be making those same noises, sounds I’d always associated with sex. The longer it went on the more uncomfortable I was, hearing them coming out of my baby daughter’s mouth.
“She’s not going to stop, Sar.” Devlin sighed. “Serena, come and help me.”
Devlin worked his finger into the side of Venus’s mouth, and pried her tiny upper fangs out of my flesh, and then the lower ones as well. Then he and Serena lifted her out of my arms.
Venus fought them, snarling, and bit both of them in the process; though she let them go as soon as she tasted that they weren’t human. Finally, Serena took her downstairs to get a bottle ready for her, as it was apparent she wanted human blood and was not going to be happy until she had more of it.
I trudged back into Devlin’s bedroom, Devlin in tow. After washing the tiny holes in my hand, I put a bandage on them. Devlin didn’t offer to heal them, as they were so small that my own accelerated healing abilities should take care of it in a short time.
“I’m sorry that didn’t go better, Love,” Dev said, hugging me.
“I waited longer with Theoron,” I replied tersely. “It wasn’t until he was almost five months old that I held him, that I even tried to. I should’ve waited.”
“It might be the fresh blood I’m giving her, too,” Devlin said musingly. “Theoron went a little wild the first time he got fresh blood from a human’s vein, that night at the Gathering.” He paused. “Nothing tastes as good as blood right from a vein. You are her first non-were, non-vampire, Love. While her palate isn’t refined enough to savor the special flavor of yours, it likely tastes close to human, even with the vampire taint.”
“Maybe.”
“Will you sleep with me today?” Devlin pressed. “I would like us to spend some time cuddling before you leave tomorrow.”
“Sure,” I said, snuggling close to him. “But sooner or later, I do have to start work again downstairs. I still have all those files to do—”
“And you still need to pick out furnishings for the guest rooms,” Devlin added quickly. “I’d like you to set up one as your own room, Sar.”
I gave Devlin a look of shock, trying for words.
He roared with laughter. “Not for sleeping in,” he chuckled, hugging me tightly. “I want you here beside me. This room I’m talking of would be for sewing, reading, or for just spending time by yourself.”
Why was he offering this? There was some angle here. “That would be wonderful,” I said curiously. “Serena does want me to teach her how to sew on a machine. I haven’t done it in a long time, and my supplies have been packed away in one of my closets at home for the better part of a year.” I smiled. “I’d like to start some new projects—”
“Good. I would like you to make me something.”
“What?” I asked, intrigued.
“You made a quilt once for your mother. It was out of velvet pieces. Danial told me about it, about how beautiful it was. I want you to make one for me, for our bed.”
“I’d love to. I’ll just need to buy some more velvet—”
“I have some older clothes you can use. You can buy some if you need to, but I’d like you to use that to start with.”
This was weirder yet. Why did Dev the clotheshorse suddenly want to let me cut up his clothes? Time to be me and ask bluntly. “Dev, I’ll need to buy some anyway, as your bed is a king size. The back and the edging all should
be one color, which will require some serious yardage. Even a cape wouldn’t cut it for the back—”
“I have several capes you can use.”
“Then I’ll be happy to use your older clothes for the patchwork front, but are you sure you want me to cut them up? I’ll need to cut up a lot of them, depending on the size and style—”
“I’m sure. I have trunks of clothes downstairs, Sar. One year last century, I remember I wore velvet almost every day, thinking it made me look more regal. Some of it may be too old, though. If the fabric tears too easily, just toss it out—”
He said last century like I said last year. “Are you cleaning house?” I asked, comprehension dawning. “You are, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” Devlin confirmed. “Danial might had had the right idea, only saving a few things that meant something to him. I always saved most everything, because I couldn’t be bothered to go through it. But I want to now, because as much as I loved Anna, she is part of my past. You and Venus are here, and now that I’ve wrapped up Ebediah’s business, I don’t have to go out on business every week anymore—”
“Dev, do you still kill people?” I blurted, then flushed.
Devlin tilted my chin up to look at him. “You know I do, Sar. You know I killed the prisoners Lash and Titus took when I healed myself.”
“I mean for money. Those jobs I always sent you, the ones that Danial used to do, the ones where people were asking for vengeance, for righting wrongs that the law couldn’t give them justice for.” I swallowed hard. “And the jobs for organized crime that Danial used to do. He said you and he used to share them. For the last few years, you have been doing them all.”
Devlin looked nonplussed. “Sar, you know the answer,” he said calmly. “Are you asking me because you think I will lie about it, or because—?”
“Because I need to hear it straight from you. That week I spent with you last spring; all those nights you went out, I knew it wasn’t just for Ebediah’s business. I didn’t say anything, but I wondered if you were killing people.”
“The answer is yes, but I think you are going to draw a distinction,” Devlin answered. “I don’t go out on jobs myself as Danial sometimes did before he met you. Even he only did it rarely, mostly sending Theo to do it. I subcontract out to about ten different hitmen who do what needs doing. Most are decent enough, and they only kill...I guess what you might call ‘bad people.’ But there are two others who will kill anyone who needs killing, any age, so long as the price is right. They are the ones who usually do the ‘mob jobs’, as you might call them. I don’t pull the trigger, Sar. But I arrange it, so I consider the deaths on my head. I don’t draw a distinction that I’m not the one there doing the actual killing.”
I was silent, digesting all this.
“I met with some of those men that week. There were arrangements that needed to be made,” Devlin said, stroking my hair. “It’s a business, and it works out well for everybody. I only take a small cut, for being the go between, so the actual men doing the jobs can remain anonymous, as they prefer.”
I found that chilling, but reminded myself that I had seen some of those cases firsthand. If my son had been the one robbed and beaten within an inch of his life by a gang, or my mother had been killed for her social security check by two drug addicts on a binge, I might have hired an assassin, too. I purposely didn’t think about the jobs that the mob asked him to do. But of course, the harder I tried not to think about it, the more I thought about it.
“What do you get out of this? You must get something substantial, or you wouldn’t bother to do it.”
“Besides the small cut, there is no other money: it’s an exchange of services. In return for the jobs I arrange for them a few times a year, the mob keeps an eye on most of my blood donors for me, to make sure they are taken care of, and that new ones are found when women no longer want to give me blood. And they do routine blood testing of the women, to make sure they are healthy enough to give me the amount of blood I require without dying.”
“Like Angelica?”
Devlin nodded. “Danial used to pay the Italians in hits he did himself, or had Theo do. That’s less expensive. Now he just gives them cash. They make a nice profit on us, running humans for vampires. But it’s much easier to pay their fee than having to go out and seduce or hunt for blood ourselves every other night. That’s fun sometimes, sure, but it can be very time consuming, and there’s no point in living forever if one has to be constantly going to bars, and chatting up women for blood, or waiting in back alleys for unlucky young virgins looking for a shortcut—”
Maybe Danial did need the extra money from his business. The mob couldn’t be cheap. “Do you prefer virgins? That comes as a surprise.”
He ignored my taunt. “Do you feel differently for me, knowing this?” Devlin finished as he continued to stroke my hair. “That I choose to do this, instead of just pay them off? That it’s so much less noble than Danial’s fight against the evil corporate hackers, the savvy and slick suits with no conscience?”
His tone was calm, but underneath the calmness was a dangerous note. I disregarded it. It wasn’t an issue this time.
“No,” I answered. “I guessed that that was how it worked. You have enough money that you wouldn’t care about the payout enough to do it yourself, or have the taste for it.”
“That’s a little too charitable for you,” Devlin said, chuckling. “You know me too well to think that I don’t have a taste for killing—”
“I’m only saying you don’t care about killing with guns,” I corrected. “Now ripping out someone’s throat with your fangs, that I could see.”
Devlin again roared with mirth. “You are so endearing, Sweet Sar,” he crooned. “I never get tired of your humor.”
I hadn’t meant to be humorous, I was being sarcastic. “Are you trying to make me cringe?”
“Aren’t you going to ask me about Lash?” Devlin purred. “That may make you cringe.”
I didn’t reply.
“Don’t you want to know who he kills?” Devlin purred, his tone deeply malicious. “Aren’t you curious to know if he likes it—?”
“No,” I said flatly. “Because you’re going to tell me the worst thing you can, because you want me to hate him. And it doesn’t matter anyway—”
“Why doesn’t it matter, Sar?” Devlin sneered, venom in his words. “It matters to you if I kill—”
“Because I’m not Lash’s bedmate,” I retorted icily. “Venus isn’t his daughter, she’s yours. Who you kill matters in terms of who might be after you because of it, and who might come after her and me, to get to you. If someone else is going to come looking for revenge, I want a heads-up right now.”
Devlin blinked, clearly taken aback. “I’ll protect you and her. You’ll both be safe, Love. Please don’t worry.”
Devlin hugged me tightly, but didn’t say anything further. Uneasy in his arms, I didn’t either.
* * * *
Devlin and I woke up about five thirty the next afternoon. I told Dev I was showering and asked him if he wanted to join me, but he said only to go ahead, that he would be down later.
After a wonderful long, hot shower, I dressed and went downstairs to watch some TV. While I was tempted— perhaps insanely—to visit Venus again, I knew it wasn’t a good idea. She clearly saw me as a source of food. Our days of mother-daughter bonding would have to wait until she was older.
Lash came in shortly after six, his face breaking into a grin when he saw me waiting. I gave him a welcoming smile, and he sank down beside me, turning at once to put his black socked feet up on the couch by my feet.
Not surprising that even his socks were black. Why didn’t he get some black underwear as well?
“Want to watch the Fantastic Four?” he offered. “I TiVo-ed it for us.”
“Sure,” I hurriedly answered, pushing my illicit musing back under a rock where it belonged. “It’s got those two guys from that FX—”
&nb
sp; “I know you like those FX shows, Sar,” Lash said with a smile. “It’s all the sex—”
“And the intrigue,” I laughed. “They’re fun.”
“But they’re dark too,” Lash said quietly, looking at me intently. “Happy people seem to be absent from all of the major roles.”
Lash had a point. Late night FX was pretty devoid of shiny happy people smiling and laughing.
“I don’t watch only FX,” I said defensively. “I’m not wasting away in the darkness. There are some things I watch that are happy.”
Lash gave me a look that said I most certainly did not watch anything happy.
“Okay, Mr. Sunshine, what do YOU watch that’s happy?” I challenged.
“I watch South Park,” Lash smirked.
I threw a couch pillow at his head, snorting back my laughter. Lash easily caught it, then put it under his head and sprawled out, stretching his legs across my lap. He began working the remote.
“Wait,” I asked, flushing.
Lash paused the movie, looking at me closely.
“Would you come to therapy with me, either this week or next?”
“You want ME to come?” Lash said, shocked. “Why? Theo will shit a brick.”
“Because our therapist said you should,” I explained, giving him a shrug. “Theo won’t be there, Lash, just me and you.”
“I could probably do it next week,” Lash said thoughtfully. “Dev’s been booking me jobs here and there, and I need to meet with some people for him, too, but I can work around it. Let me check and I’ll let you know next week.”
“Okay.”
“Just so you know, there are some things I’m not going to talk about with your therapist,” Lash added with a hiss.
He was hissing again, which meant he was upset. What things did he mean? How he loved me? Him dying? “You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to,” I reassured. “And you can swear, if you want.”
“That’s a relief,” Lash replied. “I assume we have to sit on a couch and talk about our feelings? I’ve never been to therapy before.”
“Must be because you are so well-adjusted,” I quipped.
Dark Solace Page 23