He signed and said, “I’m okay, nothing permanently wrong. I can tell. I’ve still got all my teeth and the bruises will go away.”
“Yes, but …”
“Hailey, drop it. Please.”
I shut up and scooted to the side of my seat. He was going to dump me. The beginning of something really good was going to be ruined.
As we continued on, I couldn’t get rid of the picture of Jarret punching him, then Ryan bringing his head down on Jarret’s nose. I could still hear the crunch it made.
My stomach was in complete turmoil. I had never been around violence. Not like that. Sure, I witnessed the occasional wrestling match in the school yard and the fake stuff on TV. But, not true, gut sickening violence like that. It had been so fast, so, … so, violent.
That was the only word for it. So out of place with the world, I knew. My heart squeezed every time I thought of Ryan being hurt. Every punch, each kick had been like a blow to my own body.
I wanted to rip Jarret’s face off. As for the three girls who had held me back, I was going to make them pay. Somehow, someway.
When Ryan pulled in front of my house, he put the car into park, but didn’t turn it off. Instead, he continued to stare out the front windshield.
“If it’s okay I won’t walk you to your front door. I need to get home and get cleaned up before my mom gets there.”
“Um … Sure, I guess.” My world was falling apart. “I really am sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, Hailey. I should have seen it coming and taken steps to prevent it.”
“Ryan, you can’t blame yourself.”
“Oh, I don’t, believe me, I know who is at fault and it isn’t either you or me. Goodnight, Hailey. I won’t say that I had a good time. You understand.”
My heart sunk, this was it then.
“Are you sure you can drive home. Call me when you get there. I need to know you got home safe.”
He thought for a moment then nodded his head. “I’ll text you.”
What, no phone call? I wanted to hear his voice, to know that he was truly okay. Instead, I nodded my own head in acceptance. We were communicating with body language, now. It was as if we couldn’t trust words between us. Why was he so mad at me?
.o0o.
Ryan
It took a day for me to get my bearings and come up with a plan. I spent most of Saturday night and all of Sunday avoiding Mom. I’d buried myself in my lab. Only sneaking upstairs when I knew she had left for work.
The last thing I needed was her freaking out. There was no telling what she would do.
No. I was going to handle this. My way. The Nerd way.
.o0o.
The hum of the street lights broke the silence of the night. Three in the morning is always a quiet time in suburbia.
I turned my headlights off and quietly pulled into a spot a few houses down from his and waited to see if anyone would notice. My heart raced as I studied the neighborhood for movement. A porch light coming on. Anything to say that I had been spotted.
There come those moments in life when you know right from wrong but chose wrong, anyway. This was one of those times for me. Every part of my brain was screaming, ‘Stop! Don’t do this. You’ll regret it.’ At the same moment, every part of my soul was yelling for me to ‘take him down.’ I’d like to say that I was torn, that I at least fought with myself about it, but I didn’t. Nothing could have stopped me.
Most home computer systems aren’t that hard to break into. Not if you know what you’re doing. Not if you’ve got a couple of good password cracking apps and any semblance of smarts. The average cracker could break into one in about an hour.
It took me eight minutes to break into Jarret’s.
When you’re inside someone else’s system, the trick is to not leave footprints all over the place. Nothing that can lead them or the authorities back to you. Nothing that trips an alarm. The best way to do that is to know what you’re doing before you get in. To have a plan.
My lips hurt from Jarret’s right fist, but it didn’t stop me from smiling as I pushed the button to start uploading my program. I set the traps that would gather every email, Facebook post, and each text message. I was going to know everything about him.
Once it was done, I backed out, making sure everything was as clean as a whistle. Turned my computer off and drove away.
Fifteen minutes, tops.
The next morning, school seemed to be more alive than normal. An energy permeated the halls. A buzz of excitement. Several people glanced my way. Their faces registering shock when they saw the black and blue eyes, split lip, and scraped up chin.
They would see my face and shake their heads as if to say. ‘what did I expect.’
I silently slipped into my seat in Mr. Seaver’s homeroom.
Several of the students were looking at their phones. Mr. Seaver allowed it. After all, it was homeroom. Who cared?
I’d counted on this fact. I wanted to be there when it happened.
Hailey glanced over her shoulder at me. Her eyes narrowed in concern. I could tell she was upset and that bothered me. A lot of things bothered me. The fact that Jarret McGee continued to draw breath bothered me the most.
Suddenly, at exactly 8:02 everyone’s phone chimed with the delivery of an email.
An email sent to a fictitious girl named Joanna. A girl no one had ever heard of before.
Hey Joanna.
You were great the other night. Don’t worry about the whole no condom thing. You’re on birth control right? And I got my STD thing fixed last year so that shouldn’t be a problem. As for my girlfriend Emily. I told you, she doesn’t really mean anything to me. She’s not even that good in the sack, but hey. She’s the best that’s available in this crappy school. I’ll talk to you on Saturday. Keep it warm and wet for me.
Jarret
The room erupted into gasps and snickers. Kids leaned over and showed each other the email.
Emily’s face drained of all color as she stared at her phone. I thought back to the way she had held Hailey, her fingers digging into her shoulder. That look of ecstasy and pleasure had disappeared. I could only hope it would be gone for a long time.
She slowly turned to look at her boyfriend. Her eyes were cloudy as if she couldn’t truly focus. Then, without warning, she reached back and slapped him across the face. It was a full-on, beautiful slap. The kind you see in the movies. An open hand fully connecting with his cheek. The loud sound of open hand meeting cheek reverberated through the room as she got up and ran out.
Some people laughed, others could only stare in wonder. Jarret’s eyes were as big as pizzas as he held a hand to his cheek and tried to figure out what was going on.
Hailey twisted to look at me, her eyebrows raised in question. I ignored her. The less she knew, the better. This was between Jarret and me. The last thing I needed was Hailey knowing what was going on. Besides, it hurt to look at her. To think of what she had seen that night.
I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I wondered if I ever would.
What Numb Nuts McGee didn’t know was that at the same time, another email was dispatched. A more official email arrived at Oregon University admitting office.
**Dear Ms. Shuster
This email is to inform you that I am withdrawing my application from Oregon University. I realize that because of the lateness of my actions my parents will be forfeiting their deposit. Will you please inform Coach Nerves that I will not be attending summer practice and will not be attending the University next year?
I am sure you are wondering why I am willing to sacrifice a partial scholarship and an opportunity to attend your institution.
I have considered it from several different angles and come to the conclusion that your university is CRAP. While you might have a nationally recognized football program, they are not that great. The rest is just terrible. What’s worse is that I have determined that Oregon is not really a party type school like you advertise.
You expect students to work for their grades.
Sincerely
Jarret McGee
When Oregon’s Ms. Shuster replied later that day, her email did not appear in the inbox with the hundreds of others. Instead, it, along with all future emails from Oregon were automatically delivered to a folder marked Trash. This folder deleted all its contents every hour on the hour.
When the bell was rung, I was out of there before Hailey could stop me. The concerned frown on her face sent a chill to my heart but I ignored it. I needed to get through this day without blowing up. Her look of concern or worse look of pity would send me over the edge into Crazy Ville.
I floated through the morning classes until lunch. Swallowing heavily I got my food and made my way to the Nerd table. It was going to suck. But, where else could I go at a moment like this?
Howard winced when he saw my face. Tony just shook his head.
“Man, you look like you got attacked by a lawnmower.”
“Thanks, Tony. I knew you’d capture the true meaning of things.”
Mark laughed and shook his head. He’d already seen me at my worse and heard the whole story. He scooted over to make room and waited until I got situated before he leaned over and asked, “Was that you? With the email Jarret sent?”
I looked back at him with my best innocent expression. “Who me? Why would I do something like that?”
He stared at me for a moment then smiled and shook his head again. He dropped it. He knew full well that there are some things that are not to be talked about. Especially in a crowded lunch room.
The other kids were staring at me. Their look of concern might have been sort of cool except they made me feel like a kid with cancer. As if I had but days to live.
I took a deep breath and stared back. “Get over it guys. I got my ass kicked, life moves on.”
“Aren’t you going to do something,” Meagan said. “We should do something. It’s all your girl friend’s fault. I tried to tell you she was no good.”
“Back off,” I snapped. “It wasn’t Hailey’s fault. Don’t blame her. It was mine. I should have seen it coming.”
“Meagan’s right,” Tony said. “We can’t let this happen. The Celebs will think they can push us around.”
Howard laughed. “They’ve always thought that.”
“This is different. We can’t let them get away with this.”
His indignant anger made me feel good inside. It also made me worried. I didn’t need someone screwing up their school career for me.
“It’s okay Tony. Listen, everyone. Let it go. There are only a few weeks left in school.”
“Are you really going to ignore this?” Meagan asked with surprise.
“I’ll handle it, Meagan, in my own way.”
The group fell into a quiet silence for a moment as each of them thought about what that last statement might mean.
“The Email. It was you,” Tony said with surprise.
“I don’t know what you are talking about,” I said with a sick little smile. “Besides, do you really think that would be enough?”
Slowly, they returned to normal. Talking about the upcoming finals, the latest Star Wars movie. Now, that they knew I was getting revenge they could relax. Their King had not rolled over and taken it.
The fact that I had obtained my revenge from inside his system only made it sweeter in their mind. A cool twist that only a Nerd could pull off.
I might have been able to start back on the path to normalcy but Mark chose that moment to nudge me in the ribs.
Hailey was standing in the middle of the lunch room as if lost. My heart went out to her. We needed to talk. I couldn’t leave her in misery like this. It wasn’t her fault I reminded myself. I couldn’t make her pay for my mistakes.
She looked to our corner. Our eyes locked for a moment, she frowned then turned and joined her friend Bri. For a brief moment, I had seen fire jump into her eyes as if she were mad. Really pissed off. I had a sinking feeling it was me she was mad at.
Chapter Seventeen
Hailey
Ryan was ignoring me. He’d spent the day avoiding me for some reason. I really didn’t understand. Why wouldn’t he talk to me? The sitting with his friends at lunch was the final straw. It wouldn’t have been a big deal but the shaft of pain it shot through me could not be ignored.
Bri looked at me like I was some kind of a lost kitten found in the snow.
God, I hated that look of pity. Why was this happening? Was Ryan breaking up with me? Why didn’t he have the guts to tell me to my face? The sick feeling of dread that flowed through me had me wanting to run to the bathroom and throw up.
No way. This couldn’t be happening. A burning hate for Jarret McGee settled into the bottom of my stomach. If he ruined my relationship with Ryan, I would haunt him for the rest of his life.
I cornered Mark in the hall after lunch. The fact that I was going to Mark Johnson for relationship advice had to be the most surreal thing ever.
“Hey Hailey, how is it going?” he asked as he gathered some books from his locker.
“What’s going on Mark? Why is Ryan acting like this?”
His eyes narrowed with concern as he looked at me for a moment as if trying to figure out what he could say. What was permissible under the boy code they lived by.
“You wouldn’t understand,” he said with a gentle shake of his head.
Damn, I was getting tired of this. Why wouldn’t people talk to me?
“Listen, Mark,” I said as I grabbed his arm. “I’m not as dumb as you think I am. Tell me!”
He sighed heavily then let his shoulders slump in defeat.
“You saw Ryan get his ass kicked by your ex-boyfriend.”
“Yeah, so. It took three of them and he still broke Jarret’s nose. Why is he mad at me? I didn’t know it was going to happen. Does he think I’d have taken him if I knew?”
Mark shook his head again. “He’s not mad at you Hailey. He’s embarrassed. Don’t you get it? He’s been in love with you since grade school. You are his dream. And now, finally, he’s living his dream, only to have it all torn apart. You’ll never see him as your hero, never look at him with respect. He’s lost it all because of that bastard.”
“I don’t look at him any different. I still think he’s one of the greatest guys ever. At least, until he started throwing this stupid pity party.”
Mark stared at me for a moment. “See,” he said. “I told you, you wouldn’t get it.”
“Boys. I will never understand,” I muttered under my breath. “All this crazy macho stuff. It just doesn’t make sense.”
He chuckled slightly. “It does to us. It’s how we get through the day. Pretending we are invincible. That we will succeed and get the girl in the end.”
“But he’s got the girl. Or, at least, he did until he started ruining everything.”
“What can I tell you, Hailey? This is Ryan. It is who he is. Impressing you is very important to him. In fact, you are probably the only person in this world he needs to impress. The other night, he failed miserably.”
“But he didn’t. Doesn’t he get it?”
“Not in his eyes,” Mark said. “The way he sees it, he lost any chance of ever impressing you, again. And, if you ever tell him I told you all this, I’ll work to ruin your life. Somehow, don’t ask me how. But I’ll figure out a way.”
I stood there dazed and confused. As if I was locked in a nightmare and couldn’t wake up.
Mark gave me a weak smile of regret then headed to his class. I tried to wrap my mind around what he had told me. There was only one solution I could see. Ryan and I needed to talk. We needed to work this out. The idea of losing him was tearing at my soul. No, this could not be allowed to happen.
.o0o.
Ryan
I made it out of school without running into Hailey. I know I was chickening out, but I couldn’t really figure out what I felt. What I wanted. Everything was all mixed up.
&nbs
p; The picture of her, on the ground, watching me get beat up wouldn’t leave my mind. I couldn’t get rid of it no matter how hard I tried.
As soon as I got home I headed to my lab to check on Jarret’s communications. I had every Google search, every email, and text. I was looking for that special thing to take him down. I could have made something up like I had the email. But, I wanted this one to be based on fact. For him to know that it was something he did that destroyed his life.
I could have ruined his parent’s credit. I could have had him visit a couple of websites that would have Homeland Security and the FBI on his doorstep tomorrow morning.
But, I wanted something more than that. I wanted the truth to be exposed.
His text messages had gone crazy just after the email dropped this morning as he tried to figure out what had happened. He’d poked and prodded his friends. He sent an Email to the cable company complaining. I wasn’t worried. I knew they wouldn’t find anything. He’d changed his password. An action that was totally meaningless, as I had set up a keystroke recorder and captured his new password immediately.
He tried everything his little brain could think of to figure it out and failed miserably.
As I searched his history, I realized that I didn’t really feel any satisfaction. There was an emptiness where there should have been a joy. The lack of pure pleasure at what I had accomplished was sort of surprising.
Only after a while did I realize that it wasn’t enough. That nothing I could do to him would ever be enough.
The door at the head of the stairs creaked open and Amanda stuck her head in.
“Hey Ryan, Hailey’s here.”
She stepped back to let Hailey in. I scrambled to log off. No way was she learning what I was doing.
My heart raced as I watched her descend the stairs. Her chocolate brown hair, as dark as a winter night. Her tight jeans curving across her hips. Her luscious red lips and her twinkling blue eyes. This girl was so far out of my league. I couldn’t even see her league from where I stood.
A whiff of lavender and rose accompanied her. It was enough to make a guy melt. I knew in the bottom of my heart that I would always associate that scent with Hailey and happy times. The one time in my life where I had felt good and whole and worth something.
Too Many Rules Page 39