Something Found

  She caught herself before the words came out, before the tone she’d only ever used with her mother escaped her. “I’m sorry Joseph.” She placed her hand on his arm. “I’m really sorry.”

  “Thank you.”

  Emily felt the shift inside her. It was something more momentous than she’d expected. It meant more than writing the letter. Maybe it was becoming an adult or just more of a complete person. But she knew the peace she’d talked about five minutes ago wasn’t true. This was true. She’d almost allowed herself to carry on the resentments of a child, to behave like Collin still was towards his father. But she’d let go of that. Joseph was just a person after all. Nobody deserved to carry around the expectations of others all the time. Nobody.

  “Joseph,” she said it as gently as she possibly could. “Joseph I’m sorry but I have to go.”

  “Of course you do girl. Nobody would want to spend their time listening to an old man’s sob story.”

  “It’s not that at all Joseph. It’s just that I’m working and I only have so much time for my lunch break.”

  “Sure. Sure.”

  “Look Joseph I’ll try to come in and see you again tomorrow. But if I can’t I’ll definitely be in later in the week. Will you be here?”

  “Sure, where else do I have to go?”

  “Okay. I’ll see you soon then.”

  Emily caught Frank’s eye on the way out. He looked in Joseph’s direction and gave her a reassuring nod. He’d keep an eye on him.

  There were two charity clothes shops that Emily knew of in Cork and she had every intention of making it to both of them before she had to be back into work. She knew she was being nosey. She knew this wasn’t any of her business but she really didn’t care. If Joseph wasn’t going to sort this out she’d have to do it for him. Her mother had lost the chance at years of happiness partly due to an insolent child. She wasn’t going to let Joseph suffer the same fate if she could help it.

  This determination carried her through the door and into the first shop and then it abruptly left her. Exactly what did she think she was going to do? Drag Martha kicking and screaming back to Joseph?

  She turned to the first rack of clothes she came to and started examining the items hung there without seeing them. As casually as possible she tried to look around and see who was working in the store. There were only a handful of people in the shop. It didn’t take her long to realize the sales staff consisted of a gentleman in his fifties and a girl who barely looked eighteen. Emily drifted back out discreetly.

  She began to berate herself as she stepped back out onto the sidewalk. She had no plan just determination. Here she was playing amateur detective again. But she continued on just the same, this time entering the second shop more slowly, trying to look the part of a customer instead of a crazy person. She even browsed with some meaning, picking up items and seriously considering them. Then she spotted Martha.

  It had to be her. She looked about Joseph’s age. She was helping a mother sort through children’s clothes looking for a correct size. She was smaller than Emily had imagined her to be. Everyone in the Ryan family was so tall Emily just expected that’s what Joseph would go for. But then again Collin hadn’t. Her hair was blond with large streaks of grey running through it. She obviously hadn’t dyed it but it suited her. She wasn’t slim but she wasn’t heavy either. She carried herself gracefully and she spoke to the woman she was helping kindly. But she looked tired.

  Emily watched her discreetly for as long as possible, but in the end she was afraid she was drawing attention to herself. She tried to think of the right words to say but with so many people in the store she just couldn’t get up the courage to approach her. Emily stepped back outside wondering what to do.

  It was at that point that her stomach reminded her she hadn’t had anything to eat yet. She had to be back to work soon and she wouldn’t be able to make it through the rest of the day without eating something. She decided it might be best to put Martha and Joseph on the back burner, at least until she had some idea of what she was actually going to do.

  Chapter 15

  On Tuesday Orla apologized again for her previous behavior, but because she hadn’t gotten anything done the day before she needed to spend another day in the office, this time actually catching up on work.

  “Don’t worry about it,” Emily reassured her. “I managed yesterday. I’ll get through it again today. Although I did bring a book this time, for when it’s slow. Is that okay?”

  “As long as you don’t look too bored when the customers come in,” Orla instructed with the barest hint of authority in her voice.

  “Of course,” Emily agreed. In truth she wasn’t sure if she could concentrate on the book anyway. She was hoping for a nice steady stream of customers that would keep her busy. Collin had already insisted they should meet up for lunch, which meant she wasn’t going to be able to see Joseph. That meant she was going to have to try to meet him on Wednesday and she had no idea how she was going to shake Joni long enough to do that.

  “What about a drink after work?” Orla asked. It was almost four o’clock.

  “Are you done in there?” Emily signaled with her head towards the office.

  “Done enough for today. I can’t take anymore.” Orla rubbed at her eyes, tired of staring at the small dark print on her computer.

  Emily thought about the offer. “I really shouldn’t. Collin and I are making a concentrated effort not to drink so much during the week.”

  “Really?!” Orla was shocked.

  “I mean we’re not going to extremes. We both had a glass of wine with dinner last night. We’re just cutting back.”

  “And how the hell did you get Collin to agree to that one?”

  “It was his idea,” Emily admitted, feeling proud of him as she said it. Then her expression changed completely. “Oh wow, I actually meant to tell you yesterday, and then when you weren’t feeling so well I completely forgot.”

  “What?”

  “I told you that Collin and Kevin were starting to work through their differences last week.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well it seems they did more than that. Collin was keeping it a secret until this weekend, but they agreed on letting Collin spend some of his work time in the warehouse working on his furniture.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Yup.” Now Emily was truly aglow with pride.

  “That’s wonderful. And the perfect reason to celebrate with a drink,” Orla said enticingly.

  “You Irish really do enjoy the stuff don’t you. I’d have thought after your night Sunday you’d want a break from it.”

  Orla blushed just slightly. “Well . . . .”

  “But if the offer’s still good after work on Thursday I’ll take you up on it. I mean Thursday really is the beginning of my weekend.”

  Orla smiled. “So maybe you’re beginning to like the Irish culture.”

  “I never said I didn’t.”

  When Joni’s call came Wednesday morning Emily still hadn’t thought of a way to shake her.

  “Ready for our run?” Joni asked.

  Emily couldn’t help being surprised by her continued enthusiasm.

  “Sure. I’ll be ready by the time you get here.” She hung up the phone and decided she didn’t need to see Joseph immediately. If she could make it over to Kennedy’s by two o’clock she’d be doing fine.

  But Joni wasn’t so easy to get rid of. After the run she insisted on making them both a salad. Not just your everyday salad either. She had all the ingredients to make her own dressing, plus marinating chicken to cook, and lots of vegetables. “I figured I might try getting back into the swing of things. I pulled out some of my old cook books the other day and I’ve been getting a little more creative with things again.”

  Joni had brought a change of clothes so she could take a quick shower at Emily’s. Emily took a longer shower while Joni prepared their lunch racking her brain for some kind of excuse. Sh
e thought about saying she had a hair appointment but was afraid Joni might decide to tag along. She couldn’t help thinking this was ridiculous. Just a few weeks ago she would’ve been delighted with this kind of rapport with Joni.

  In the end she was lucky. Joni announced she had some errands to run, things she preferred to do without the kids tagging along. She invited Emily along but Emily was able to decline without too much fuss.

  Still, it was three o’clock by the time Joni headed out the door.

  “Don’t forget you’re babysitting for us on Friday,” Joni reminded her. “I’m holding you to that. We even have dinner reservations.”

  “Of course we won’t forget,” Emily said forcing a smile. She had of course forgotten. “We’re looking forward to it.”

  “Well that’s going a bit far,” Joni said with a laugh. She was such a different person from the woman who had descended on Emily in her kitchen the morning of her cleaning breakdown.

  Emily felt foolish as she peered carefully out her window, waiting until the coast was really and truly clear before she headed out.

  She was practically running to Kennedy’s her feet moved so quickly. She was out of breath by the time she arrived. She took a second to collect herself then pushed the door open and headed to the spot by the fireplace. She reached it and was about to sit when it hit her that Joseph wasn’t there. She looked around in what she realized after must have been a frantic manner. Then she looked to the bar.

  Frank couldn’t hide the smile that was spreading across his lips. “He’s not here.”

  Emily tried to slow down her breathing and keep from panicking. “Where is he?”

  Frank shrugged, still amused. “Home, I suppose.”

  “Home?”

  “The place where he lives.”

  “Right,” Emily managed an amused chuckle of her own as she took a seat at the bar.

  “Hot port?” Frank inquired.

  “No.” Emily shook her head. “I just wanted to check on him.”

  “He got pretty drunk on Monday. I couldn’t see sending him home like that so when my night bar staff came on I took him home with me. My wife was actually delighted. Well, not by his condition, but to see him again. I can’t say Joseph was as delighted to see her. She gave him a good talking to by the end of it.”

  Emily smiled at the idea of Joseph being scolded by Frank’s wife. “Was he in yesterday?”

  “Yeah, but not for very long. I think he just didn’t know where else to go.”

  “I just feel so badly for him.” She could clearly picture Joseph sitting sadly at home.

  “He really likes her. Martha. But I think it’ll be okay. She likes him too. I think she just got fed up with the way things were going and wanted to teach him a lesson.”

  “I hope so.” Emily looked up at the clock. It was 3:35. “Thanks Frank. I’ve got to go. I might stop back tomorrow.”

  “Take care.”

  Emily knew it was foolish even as she hatched the plan but she couldn’t help herself. This was for Joseph after all. She hurried over to the café near the shop Martha worked in. She’d wait until they closed up. Then she’d talk to her.

  She was on her third cup of coffee and wasn’t sure if she was shaking from nerves or caffeine when she saw Martha and another woman exiting the shop and locking it up.

  Emily waited until they started to head in different directions before approaching her. “Excuse me.” Martha kept walking oblivious to Emily’s presence. “Excuse me,” she repeated more loudly.

  The lady turned to look at her. “Yes?”

  “I’m sorry to disturb you but, is your name Martha?”

  “Yes. Do I know you?” Her manner was polite but distant.

  “No. But you know my father-in-law. Joseph.”

  “Oh.” Recognition hit. “You must be Emily.”

  It was then that Emily realized Martha’s accent wasn’t quite right. It sounded Irish but with something else peppered in. “Yes.”

  “What can I do for you?”

  “I just wanted to talk to you.”

  Martha smiled fondly at her like a grandmother. “You know I left him, don’t you?”

  “Yes.” Emily said looking down. She was slightly embarrassed by her own brashness at budding in.

  “And you want to try and fix things?”

  “Well, yes.”

  “I should have expected this after the way he described you.”

  Emily wasn’t sure if that was an insult or a compliment.

  “But it’s not up to you, you know. It’s up to him.” Martha had started walking again and Emily found herself falling in beside her.

  “Yes, but-.”

  “No buts Emily. Joseph is a grown man who needs to learn to talk to his children. And his children are grown people who need to learn to accept their father.”

  “I know,” Emily agreed. “But he loves you. Shouldn’t that count for something?”

  “Of course it does. But at my age you might start to lose some of that romantic attitude. There are practical things to consider as well.”

  “English. Is that it?”

  Martha’s steps slowed for just a second. Her eyes narrowed, then she nodded. “My late husband was English. When my youngest son decided to go to University here I decided it would be best to move back home. I’ve been back for three years now but it seems the accent is still somewhat with me.”

  “Are you really just giving up on Joseph?” Emily was interested in Martha’s history but she wanted to return to the issue at hand.

  “Giving up,” Martha repeated the phrase, “I wouldn’t exactly put it that way.” Martha stopped walking. “Well, here we are now.”

  Emily looked up and realized they’d stopped in front of Orla’s shop. Orla was locking the door as they approached. “Well, Emily, I wasn’t expecting you.” She looked to Martha to explain.

  Martha shook her head. “Don’t ask me?”

  “Do you know Martha?” Emily’s expression clearly showed her confussion.

  “Off course I do. She’s my aunt.”

  Emily looked from Martha to Orla and back again. Orla’s words from the other day came back to her. She’d been up late with her aunt who was having boyfriend troubles.

  “My mom’s sister,” Orla continued seeing recognition slowly dawning on Emily’s face. “It was my mother who introduced her to Joseph. I’m assuming that’s the reason you’re with her, something to do with Joseph.”

  Emily nodded, too stunned to know what to say.

  “He told her I broke it off with him,” Martha explained. “She came to hunt me down.”

  Orla laughed. “How sweet and typical of Emily. I never knew just how fast she’d get her nose into all the Ryan business.”

  Emily went scarlet regretting her actions and feeling she was in way over her head.

  “Now, now, there’s no need for that,” Martha said warmly. “I’m actually delighted to meet you.”

  “Come on,” Orla motioned for Emily to join them. “Come have a cup of coffee with us.”

  Emily followed along, but she had no intention of getting coffee. Her nerves were too shaken as it was.

  When they’d all seated themselves, Orla and Martha with coffee and Emily with a still water, Orla began to explain. “It’s not necessarily that Martha wants to break up with Joseph Emily. Believe me I’d have problems with that as well. I adore him. But every man has to be put in his place on occasion. This farce can’t go on forever.”

  “Exactly,” Martha agreed primly. “The family may not take to me instantly but I can handle that. What I can’t handle is Joseph not being man enough to tell them. I knew Colleen too you know, not as well as some, but I knew her and I got on very well with her. I know she was an amazing woman, but I can’t keep living in her shadow. No one deserves that. And the point is Joseph is happy with me.”

  “But how could you have known all this time and never said anything?” Emily asked Orla.

  “
I didn’t know all this time. For quite a while my dear aunt went along with Joseph’s plan not to tell anyone. But after all they do both have a drink with my mother on occassion. We were bound to find out eventually.”

  “Oh.”

  “And what exactly were you planning to do Emily, drag me back to Joseph kicking and screaming?”

  Emily blushed again remembering asking herself that very question. “Well no. Actually I was thinking about inviting you over for dinner. I thought if Collin met you in person he’d probably like you.”

  “But you hadn’t even met me.”

  “I know but I figured if Joseph likes you, you must be nice.”

  “She really is sweet, isn’t she?” Martha said to Orla.

  Emily was getting sick of that word.

  “That’s a lovely idea though.”

  “Would you still do it?” Emily was hopeful.

  “I’d have to think about it.”

  “And where have you been?” Collin asked when Emily walked through the door.

  She followed his voice to the kitchen and was amazed by the smells coming from it as she approached. Collin was standing in front of the stove with his sleeves pushed up stirring away at one pot while keeping an eye on another.

  “I wanted to surprise you by making a dinner but I didn’t think I’d have it completely made by the time you got home.”

  “I decided to go for a walk.”

  “After the run this morning with Joni? My, you are active.”

  Emily approached the stove to get a closer look at what he was making. “I didn’t get very far.” She felt the words forming in her mouth and couldn’t believe how much she really did push things sometimes. “I ran into Orla and her aunt, uhm, Martha I think her name was. Do you know her?” Emily kissed his cheek to avoid eye contact and then moved away to set the table.

  “Of course I do. I know her whole family. I told you we were raised like cousins.”

  “She’s nice isn’t she, Martha?”

  “I haven’t seen her in ages but from what I remember yes, she was always very nice. Did you have a good time with them?”