by Dani René
Liam is different, as much as he loves Emma, I can see how he still struggles at times. She’s an incredible support to him. Accepting a man with so many dark demons hanging around must be difficult, I know I’d find it stressful, but that little brunette is a perfect match for our drummer.
I wouldn’t be surprised to arrive back to news that Emma is pregnant. Liam has a sort of caveman way of doing things. When we’re out and a man so much as looks at Emm, it’s as if he's ready to kill. Suddenly, as I sip my wine, I miss them. My family.
And then there’s Ryan. My sweet, caring man. He’s everything a woman could want. Attentive, romantic, funny, and after one incredible night together, he’s an amazing lover. His body isn’t chiseled or cut like most of these rock stars, but he’s beautifully built. He looks after himself and the smooth toned torso that set my body alight with hunger is perfect to me.
Those dark cocoa eyes that melt when I walk into the room, the smile that lights up both his face and any room he’s in is how he stole my heart. He walked in and grinned at me and I was a goner. There was no chance for my heart. He was it. And somehow, he thinks I’m it for him. All I have to do is make sure I’m ready to be in a long-term relationship. This trip with be the deciding factor.
Not long after I finish my wine—both bottles—I feel exhaustion hit, I know I have a layover, but I sit back and close my eyes, anyway.
Ryan
“When are you leaving?” I turn to regard Callum. Even though he’s older than me by a few years, I feel as if we’re equals.
“After the show, I told you I’m not leaving before that. Also, she’s asked for time. Which I’ll give her. I asked Demitri to be ready, I’ll confirm the time. I’ve already packed,” I chuckle. “All I need to do is make sure the apartment will be taken care of while I’m away,” I shrug. If I could’ve left today, I would’ve. Four pairs of eyes are burning into me and they’re all excited for what I’m about to do. “What if she doesn’t want me there?” I suddenly question.
They all stare at me as if I’ve grown another limb. Cal, his wife Tayla, Liam, and his fiancée Emma. A set of brothers, and a set of sisters. As much as I want to believe Ki feels the same, she’s pushed more times than I’ve pulled and I’m not sure if this is a good idea. Doubt is a motherfucker.
“Look, Ryan, you know I love you like a brother.” Tayla pushes up from the chair and rubs her belly in slow circles. She’s five months pregnant and they’re about to go find out the sex. Her serious expression has me smirking because I know I’m in for it. She’s a feisty woman, both sisters are, but I know that’s why my best friend loves her. “She may not know it yet, but she loves you. And there’s nothing more romantic than a man willing to travel across the world to see you.”
Callum clears his throat and I can’t help chuckling. “Is that so, Petal?” She blushes at his nickname and he pulls her into his arms.
“Oh God, can you two keep your hands off each other for ten fucking seconds.” Liam growls in frustration and Emma, who’s perched on his lap giggles.
“Shut it, take your fiancée out or something and stop raining on my parade.” Callum’s retort comes quickly.
“Okay kids, enough. Cal, take your woman to get her scan, we want to know if we’re buying pink or blue.” I chuckle at his indignant face.
“Come on, Petal. See you later guys.” As soon as they’re out of the room Liam stares at me and I know he’s about to give me shit. He wants me to go after Ki, and as much as I’m doubting myself and coming up with excuses not to, I have a feeling I’m about to get the talking to of my life, so I nod before he can say anything more.
“I’ll go.” I murmur, “I swear, as soon as I step off the stage I’ll head straight for the airport.” Lifting my gaze, I meet both Emma and Liam’s stares. Both nod and smirk.
“Go get her, Ryan. I know she loves you,” Emm’s sweet voice makes me smile as she rises and pads over to me. I nod, leaning in to give her a cuddle. Her soft scent of peaches is clear and I know that’s only one reason why Liam calls her Peach. Any other, I’d rather not know.
Once she leaves us, I regard my brother from another mother and he smirks. “You know you’re going to come back here and there’s going to be a shiny diamond on her ring finger?” He quips confidently. I have no answer to that. All I can do is shrug and hope he’s right.
“I’m Ryan Callahan,” I rasp and her cheeks darken with a soft rosy hue. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
“I’m Kierra, I’m Callum’s assistant. He’s just finishing up a meeting, but you’re welcome to wait.” Her voice with her Australian accent, it’s like a melody I’m not sure I’d ever tire of. Her button nose, with those full rosy lips and wide eyes make for a beautiful woman. With those beautiful golden-brown waves that hang to the middle of her back she looks angelic. Her skin is lightly tanned. Almost golden giving her an ethereal glow. Deep soulful eyes, the color of a stormy sky peek at me under thick lashes.
“I’d wait anywhere you are,” my cocky response earns me a smile, her cheeks have the most incredible set of dimples I’ve ever seen. This woman is perfect. Her face is innocent, yet serious, her eyes betray agony, but offer kindness, and her mouth is tempting, it looks good enough to devour.
“Can I get you a coffee? The guys will be out to see you soon,” she responds, her cute button nose scrunches when she smiles. Jesus, I need to focus.
“Yes, coffee would be good.” She doesn’t wait for me to say anything more before turning on her heel and stalking toward an open doorway. Before I can follow a door behind me swings open and I’m met with the blue eyes of Callum Hayes. Playboy and rock star.
“Ryan?” He questions and all I can do is nod. I’m awestruck. I’ve seen him in concert so many times. I’ve seen him on the front page of tabloids, newspapers, and every time I have, he’s been nothing but gracious. Even now, as I stand here a newbie to this world, he offers me his hand and a grin.
“Yes, it’s good to meet you,” I manage to get out before he releases my hand to say goodbye to the man dressed in a suit and tie. Once the man has left, Callum turns to me and nods.
“Let’s get you in there,” he grins that boyish smile I know most girls drool over and I follow him into the studio. The room is small but comfortable with equipment lying around. He settles himself on the sofa and gestures toward a keyboard and guitar which is set up, ready to be played. “I know you’re well versed in both, let me hear what you can do.”
“Thank you, yes,” nerves kick in as I settle myself in front of the keyboard which is what I’m auditioning for, the role of keyboardist for the band. With the sweetest voice in my head that I can’t shake of the girl I just met, I’ve got a melody in mind. Getting my fingers ready, I inhale a deep breath. It’s state of the art, and I can’t wait to feel the keys beneath my touch. It’s like a woman, you have to caress it, stroke it, and make it sing for you. Much like I’d love to do to Kierra.
As soon as my fingers rest on the keys, my eyes flutter closed and I get lost inside my head. The melody echoes around us and all I feel are the notes. Everything is in tune, and I hit every note, I feel every part of the song.
Everything is lost, there’s only me and song. Slow, haunting, and melodic, I play “Nothing Else Matters” by Metallica like I was born to. As I reach the final notes, my eyes open and I find both Callum and Kierra, along with Liam, the older Hayes brother gawking at me.
Before I can say anything, Liam steps forward and smirks at me and asks the question that I’ve been working toward all my life, “when can you start?”
Kierra
I sigh as I step into the house I used to call home—the place I grew up in. Nothing’s changed and the memories of what I went through flood my mind. I wish I was happy to be back, but the reason I’m here doesn’t bring me joy. As soon as the door shuts, I hear dad. “Baby girl? Is that you?” He comes bounding into the hallway. He’d offered to pick me up at the airport, but I know how long
the drive is and I don’t want him sitting in the car for that long. His health hasn’t been the best, so I’d rather know he was safe, so I told him not to worry. I am more than capable of getting home. “Oh my God, you’re so beautiful.” The tears in his eyes glisten and I realize me leaving home hurt him. When I flew to LA and told him I’m not coming back crushed him.
“Hey dad,” as old as I am, I’ll always be a baby to him. My heart hurts, I miss him more than I imagined I would. All I wanted was to escape. Run away from my life, and in the process cut myself off from everyone. My family.
“I’m so happy to see you.” His arms are warm, filled with love and I try not to think about why I’m here. I’ve been putting it off for too long and now is the time to decide what I want to do. The house is still the same as my dad walks me into the kitchen. “Did you have a good flight, honey?”
“Yes, I’d forgotten how long it is. What’s worse is the cab ride home, it’s about as long as the flight,” I giggle. “I’m feeling jet lagged, but I think a good night’s sleep will help.” He nods with a smile filled with love. He’s the only person who knows I’m back and I would like to keep it that way. There isn’t anyone else that I want to face and as soon as I can, I want to go back home, back to LA.
“Well, why don’t you go ahead and relax, I’ve booked a table at a new restaurant down the road, it’s got everything from burgers to sushi. I know you’re a fan.” My father hates cooking, that was always mom’s job. I remember when she first died, Dad tried making a pasta dish. It had burnt so badly—sticking to the pot. We tried to salvage some of it, but it ended up in the trash, along with the steel pot.
“That sounds good, thanks dad.”
Heading down the hallway to my old bedroom, I feel nostalgia hit and smile at the fact that it’s not changed since I left. That was the day I walked out and got on a plane, a one-way ticket, and didn’t look back. The agony of leaving behind something precious forced me to never look into the past, to never allow myself to feel the emptiness that came with what I had to do.
When you’re not given a choice in life it’s hard to come to terms with the decision. But this was life or death, so I chose life. Who in their right mind would choose death?
The restaurant is quiet, thankfully, but I can’t help glancing around. I’m not sure if Josh still lives close by, but the apartment I’d left him in is only a block away. I hope I don’t see him because after the way we left things, I can’t stomach the agony that man brings me. After the day I caught him cheating, he’d begged and pleaded for me to take him back, he went into rehab and cleaned himself up. But there was always distrust between us, I found myself second guessing everything he said.
I met with him a couple of times, mainly to allow him to take a step in his recovery to apologize to the people he hurt. However, I just couldn’t bring myself to go back to a life with him. Like I said, I’d stepped over the line from loving him to something entirely different, and there was no going back.
Even though I knew my father was hurt and missed me, he supported my decision. He allowed his baby girl to go off into the world and make her life somewhere else. “Kierra, there’s something you should know.” When my father starts a sentence like that, my body shuts down. Because I recall the last time he said that. It was the last time I saw my mother healthy.
The cancer ate away at her slowly. It’s the most horrific thing I’ve ever experienced and to have her deteriorate before my eyes was something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
“What’s wrong dad?” My brows furrow in confusion, concern, and worry. But there’s a hint of a smile on his face and I know I’m clearly missing something.
“You know my retirement is coming up at the end of the year and I’ve decided to stop wallowing in the self-pity that’s held me prisoner for so long.” Cocking my head to the side in question, I watch my father’s eyes glisten with tears. “I’ve been thinking of possibly moving to LA, not to intrude on your life, but to be near you, if you need me. What do you think, honey?” My parents had me young, he’s only in his early fifties and he’s still healthy and strong so I don’t see why he shouldn’t do it. It would also set my mind at ease knowing he’s close by.
“I’d like that, dad. To have you nearby.” His big hand engulfs mine and he gives it a squeeze. Just then, the waiter steps up to our table.
“Can I get you drinks?” His voice echoes through every part of me and my world spins on its axis. As I drag my eyes up to his I recognize him instantly. Although, he isn’t the man I walked out on all those years ago. He’s older. He looks like he’s had a rough ten years since he said goodbye to me. “Kitty kat?” The name still makes me cold and angry.
“My name is Kierra, I’d prefer you to keep yourself professional.” I bite back my retort. The man who was a high paid lawyer has fallen so low he’s now serving me a drink. He also used to think he was better than everyone, treating people who didn’t earn what he did like trash, and now that I look at him I can’t help the satisfied smirk that curls my lips.
“Of course, Kierra. Can I get you something to drink?” There’s a certain satisfaction that comes from seeing someone who’s ripped you apart groveling. Does this make me a bad person? Yes, probably. But damn it feels good.
“I’ll have a Chardonnay, please.” Glancing at my dad, I notice him staring a little too intently at the menu and I know he’s trying not to laugh. My dad was about to go and kill Josh when I told him that he’d cheated on me. So, no love lost there really.
“Bring me a whiskey on the rocks.” My dad rumbles. When we’re alone, he looks at me earnestly. “I didn’t realize he worked here, I’m sorry honey. It’s the first time I’ve been in here and if I’d known that asshat worked here—”
“It’s okay, Dad. I can handle him. Besides, I’ve moved on.” I tell him with a smile, only to earn one back.
“Have you met someone?” The question I’ve been waiting for comes and I nod. I might as well tell him about Ryan.
“There has been someone. I mean, we’re not dating yet. But…” I trail off not sure how to explain it. Josh returns and my words taper off as he places our drinks on the table.
“Are you ready to order?” He questions and I can’t help looking at him again. He’s so much older than I remember. Time hasn’t been on his side and deep down, I want to smile because of what he did to me, but on the other hand I can’t bring myself to care. I’ve moved on, my life is so much better without him in it. Realization hits me then and there that finding him in bed with two women was a blessing. It gave me the final push to live my life and find what makes me happy.
“I’ll have the salmon and tuna sushi platter, bring extra soy sauce as well,” my voice is confident, not the same shy girl he remembers and his stare is as intense as the heat on a hot summers day. He nods, making a note on the pad of paper, then turns his attention to my father and waits.
“I’ll have the Porterhouse steak, rare, with salad. Oh, and add fries to that,” Dad says in a gruff tone. Josh nods and makes a note. Once we’re alone, I know the inquisition is going to start. “So, tell me about this man?” My dad offers his loving smile and I can’t help the blush that heats my cheeks when I remember Ryan’s grin, his kiss, and those soulful eyes.
“It’s Ryan, the keyboardist for the band, you remember last summer when you visited?” He nods, “It’s been a long time coming, Dad.” There are so many things I can tell my father about the man who holds my heart, but there’s one thing I know will impress him. “He cares for me, Dad, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me. He’s respectful and he’s never ever pushed me more than I wanted to give.”
“When I was there, even for the short time I spent around you, I can see the way you both look at each other. It’s different to how you are with Callum and Liam. It’s okay, honey. You love him, I know.” He smiles and I nod.
I do. I love Ryan Callahan more than anything. And once this is over, I’ll go back and I’ll finally
tell him how much I love him. “So much, Dad. I just hope he can give me a chance to explain why I had to come home. It’s not easy, and I haven’t told him the real reason for this trip. I lied and I feel terrible about it.” My confession halts and my dad sits back regarding me earnestly.
“Look, honey, there are times we omit to tell those we love something to keep from hurting them. I think you should have told him, maybe it would have given you an insight into his feelings. But, it’s done now, and if he loves you as much as you do him, then I’m sure he’ll see why you lied and forgive you.”
“I know, but, deep down I know he would’ve wanted to be here with me. Supporting me through this, but I didn’t want him to see me in the hospital, going through the tests and having doctors prod at me. I’ve put this off for too long. The moment I realized how I felt about him, I knew I had to come home and finish what I started all those years ago.”
Silence hangs in the air, but it’s not uncomfortable. I know my father and he’s digesting what I’ve just told him. When he sits forward, leaning his elbows on the table, he regards me with a gentle smile. “Then finish it and go to him. No time like the present.” With that the conversation moves to lighter topics and I feel myself breathe again. My heart still aches knowing what lies ahead of me for the next few weeks.
Ryan
Two and a half weeks have passed since I let her get on a plane and fly across the world and I can’t wait anymore. I know I promised her a month, but fuck, I can’t live without her.