A Girl Called Hope

  ‘Would you be so kind as to direct me to—’

  ‘Tourist, are you? What are you doing around here then?’ she asked as soon as Connie opened her mouth to ask directions.

  Connie pulled out a piece of paper and said, ‘I’m looking for Ty Mawr. Is it near here?’ She pronounced it Tie Moor and Stella frowned until Connie handed her a piece of paper with the name written down.

  ‘Not far. What name did you say?’ Stella asked suspiciously. She didn’t want to send visitors to poor Marjorie if they were going to be troublesome.

  ‘I’m looking for…’ Connie hesitated, ‘…I have to see someone in Ty Mawr.’ She was beginning to feel irritated. Why couldn’t the woman answer a simple question? Her dark eyes glared unblinkingly at Stella.

  ‘Well, you could try,’ Stella said, dejected by failure. ‘Probably out, mind.’ She pointed out the home of Marjorie and Freddy and wondered how soon she would find out who the woman was and what she wanted.

  Connie approached the house slowly, her heart racing as though she’d run a mile. She didn’t knock. Better to watch for a while and see if Phillip appeared. He wouldn’t be pleased to come home and find her sitting there talking to his parents. He’d be afraid of what she might tell them. Exploding a few of his myths would be so easy. And she was in the mood for it, too.

  There was a café almost opposite the house, and if she sat in the window she would be able to watch for him. She ordered tea and a slice of cake and determined to make it last as long as possible. An hour later, when she was reduced to picking up imaginary crumbs with a moistened finger, she saw him.

  It was easy to follow him. He didn’t go far, just to a house near a hardware store with the name Geoff Tanner over the door. She went in to the shop and asked for a paintbrush she didn’t want, taking her time deciding between the cheaper and more expensive range. She was handing over the money when the door of the house opened and Phillip came out with Matthew Charles.

  ‘Good heavens! What’s he doing home!’ Geoff remarked. Connie waited in silence as Geoff followed the progress of the two men. With luck she’d learn something.

  ‘Know them do you?’ she asked, still offering the money.

  ‘Oh, sorry, yes. Phillip Murton hasn’t been home for years, not even when his brother died. So I wonder what he wants that would bring him here now.’

  ‘Not someone you like, then?’

  ‘Sorry,’ he repeated. ‘It was such a surprise, seeing him again.’ He took the money, gave her the change and apologized again.

  Connie went out and looked in the direction in which Phillip and Matthew had gone. There was a public house, the Ship and Compass, not far away. That was probably their destination. She went back to the café to drink more tea while she decided what to do.

  Geoff came in later and ordered a meal. He saw her and smiled. It warmed her, made her feel less of a stranger.

  ‘What are you doing in Cwm Derw, passing through, or staying a while?’ he asked as he waited for his food to arrive.

  Giving the impression she was a tourist, she asked him what she should see while she was in the area, and as it became more and more awkward to talk, with the tables filling up, it seemed natural for him to move to share hers.

  ‘I left my suitcase at the station,’ she told him. ‘I wasn’t sure whether or not I’d be staying.’

  ‘And now?’

  ‘I think I’ll try to find a small guest house, perhaps stay a day or two.’

  ‘I have a delivery to make lunchtime tomorrow. Nothing smart, only a van, but if you’d like a ride to one of the seaside places, I’ll gladly take you,’ he offered. When she hesitated, he said quickly, ‘Sorry, of course you won’t want to come. You don’t know me, although I am quite respectable, ask anyone you know.’

  She laughed. ‘But I don’t know anyone!’ As he joined in, she called to the elderly waitress. ‘Excuse me, but is this man respectable?’

  ‘So, so, miss. Wouldn’t trust him with a pretty girl, mind!’

  ‘I’ll be safe then,’ Connie replied, still laughing.

  Geoff knew she hadn’t replied that way in the hope of a compliment. She seemed to be honest and straightforward and even so early in their acquaintanceship he just knew they could be good friends.

  They arranged to meet at one o’clock the following day, and Connie went to find accommodation. She collected her suitcase and took out an extra scarf before starting her search.

  ‘Brecwast a Gweli’ confused her, until it was translated as Breakfast and Bed.

  She asked if they spoke English, and told them she wanted a room for a night or two, and was invited into a warm, pleasantly furnished house shared by the family and the occasional visitor.

  During the evening she found herself thinking about the following day with Geoff Tanner and wondering why she hadn’t done what she had come for and confronted Phillip. There would be time in the morning, but the closer the moment came the less she felt able to face it. She had qualms about how Phillip would react when he saw her. How would he introduce her if he was with his parents? As a friend? Someone he used to know? A landlady? With Phillip anything was possible, she told herself with a stab of misery. He said what suited him best at the time.

  Perhaps it was wisest to just wait until they bumped into each other rather than visit his home. If they didn’t meet by accident, she could wait a while. Why not have a few days’ holiday first? Even in October it was good to be free of routine.

  She was relieved at her decision, and, not for the first time, wondered why she had come. What she was hoping for, chasing after a man like Phillip? For a moment she was tempted to pack her few belongings back in the case and go home. Then, thinking of tomorrow, and Geoff, she wanted to stay, just a while longer. Phillip had to be dealt with. The chapter of her life with him must be closed and to do that she had to face him.

  He probably would be with Matthew, and that fact alone made her want to delay it for as long as possible. Matthew and Phillip both had the same sense of humour, edged with a little cruelty. Making someone feel inadequate, wrong footed, was something at which they both excelled. If only she had someone to go with her, but she was on her own in this and she could either talk to him, find out why he’d left and what he intended to do, or scuttle back home and forget him. At that moment she would have preferred the latter, if it hadn’t been for the arrangement to meet with Geoff Tanner.

  *

  Because Davy was an only child and would probably remain so, Hope often invited other children to come and play. During the hours she set aside for Davy she continued to go out for walks when the weather allowed. But when it rained, or was too cold to enjoy being in the wood or the park, one of his friends would come with their mother and the house would be a playground for wild racing games, or there would be storytelling, and even concerts when the children would sing songs or recite rhymes.

  There were many days when she desperately needed the hours spent in this way to finish a garment for an anxious client, but Hope never succumbed to the temptation of cancelling what she referred to as Davy’s time. It was hardly surprising, then, that Davy was invited to several birthday parties. With his own not far away, he loved the thrill of going to tea with his friends, dressed smartly and carrying a gift for the birthday girl or boy, knowing his turn was coming.

  Stella had asked Hope to make a jacket for her sister as a surprise, and when she found out her sister was going away for a few days she decided to ask Hope if it could be finished sooner than agreed.

  ‘Sorry I am to fuss you, Hope, dear. But she’s going to Weston to stay with a friend and I know she’d love the new coat to wear.’

  ‘Stella, I don’t think I can,’ Hope apologized. ‘Davy’s going to a tea party and I have to take him, and be there at five to bring him home.’

  ‘Can’t you ask Marjorie?’

  ‘No, I can’t. I have to be there, he expects it.’

  ‘Don’t be so difficult,’ Marjorie’s voice f
rom behind her called. ‘I can help. He is my grandson after all.’ The shop door, which she had just opened, closed behind her and Hope saw her walking away.

  ‘Oh dear, perhaps I’d better talk to her,’ Hope said, running from the shop and following her mother-in-law, calling for her to wait. However much she hated it, she had to agree, this once.

  She saw Peter as she walked home and told him what had happened. ‘I know I have to let him go sometimes, I can’t expect him never to leave my side, but I hated having to agree. She’s promised to collect him from Susan Davies’s house at five.’ She smiled sadly. ‘The idea is for me to work, but I don’t think I’ll relax for a moment until he’s home. I know she wouldn’t put him at risk, but I’ll be glad when he’s back with me.’

  ‘Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll be fine.’

  It was with trepidation that Hope left Davy the following day. ‘Grandmother will be here to bring you home,’ she promised, as he ran in to join his friends.

  With an hour and a half in which to work, she forced herself to concentrate on finishing the jacket, and when five o’clock came she was standing at the window staring out into the darkness waiting for the beam of the torches to come dancing up the path to tell her Davy was safely home.

  At five thirty she was beginning to panic. Joyce had gone home. She couldn’t go to look for him as she needed to be here when he arrived. Perhaps Marjorie had taken him back to Ty Mawr. She’s thoughtless enough to decide to do something like that on impulse, Hope thought.

  Soon after, torches appeared and she sobbed with relief and ran down to greet him. But it was Marjorie and Phillip.

  ‘Where’s Davy?’ she almost shrieked. ‘Where is he?’

  ‘How should I know? You never trust me to look after him, do you? Always tell me you can cope.’

  ‘What d’you mean? You promised to meet him from Susan’s party! Why isn’t he with you?’

  Marjorie turned to Phillip. In the light from the kitchen window, Hope saw her give a hard smile. ‘I offered but she refused, as I told you, Phillip. Useless mother, she is. Imagine not knowing where her child is.’

  In the utter silence the shock of her words had brought, the clip-clop of hooves and the jingle of harness penetrated her brain.

  ‘Mummy, I held the reins,’ Davy shouted as the horse clattered to a stop. With a large torch in his hand he ran up the path and jumped into his mother’s arms. ‘Uncle Peter was waiting for me. And I guided Jason. Peter says I’m clever.’

  When Marjorie and Phillip left, blustering over Peter and Hope’s accusations, Hope asked Peter again what had happened.

  ‘I spoke to Stella and Colin at their allotment and they said Marjorie had told them you’d refused to accept her help. You’d told me different, so I thought I’d be there, just in case.’

  She hugged him and murmured her thanks. He rested his check on her sweet-smelling hair and winked at Davy, and the boy contorted his face trying to return it. Peter didn’t think he’d ever been happier.

  *

  Connie spent the morning looking around the town. She hadn’t brought many clothes with her and she was tempted by a winter coat in the small fashion shop, but common sense prevailed. She didn’t know how long she would stay and every penny had to be carefully considered before being spent. Philip had taken most of their savings and she needed to be able to pay for a room and food. A new winter coat was a luxury she had to deny herself.

  When it was time to meet Geoff, she put on her smartest dress and shoes with a thick scarf and a matching hat, but had to add a waterproof and umbrella as it was raining. Not a day for the beach, she thought with regret.

  ‘Come inside, for goodness sake,’ he called when he saw her. ‘I’ve only got to lock up and we’ll be off, but you’ll drown out there.’ His smile was wide and she thought he seemed genuinely pleased to see her. She wondered if he had expected her to forget, or not bother to turn up.

  The deliveries didn’t take long, and with a little more time left of his lunch hour they went into a café for tea and cakes.

  ‘I close the shop at one tomorrow and I do a round of deliveries of paraffin and other things,’ Geoff told her. ‘Not very exiting, but if you’d like to come I’d be very pleased to have your company.’ Connie smiled and happily agreed. Delaying yet again her visit to Phillip was only part of her reason. She looked forward to what promised to be an enjoyable couple of hours.

  She was waiting the next day when he came out of the shop and locked the door. He took both of her hands in his and his pleasure at seeing her was without doubt.

  The regular orders for paraffin took more than two hours but then he drove to a beach west of Penarth called Lavernock, where to her surprise he took out a picnic hamper.

  ‘I know this isn’t the month for picnics, but if we find a sheltered spot I thought it would be a pleasant way to spend an hour.’

  Connie was impressed to find that he had provided a small pie with a mysterious label promising assorted meats including rabbit, plus sandwiches, a few cakes and a flask of coffee.

  ‘Nothing fancy, I’m afraid,’ he apologized. ‘I’m not much of a cook. Not much imagination, either.’

  ‘But this is perfect, and you must have spent valuable food points on the pie. I’ll really enjoy that.’

  ‘Tell you the truth, I didn’t. I have a few farmer friends who treat me to something special sometimes, and I swapped a packet of illegal farm butter for some tinned fruit which I swapped for the pie.’

  Laughing at his secretive dealings, Connie began with a sandwich. ‘Keeping the best till last,’ she said.

  Geoff admired the way she ate, unselfconsciously and with enthusiasm. He didn’t have to coax her out of artificial politeness, and, when the food had gone and the coffee had warmed them, they went for a walk along the narrow pebbly beach. The small island just off the coast was not quite an island, and wouldn’t be until the tide was fully in. Connie was intrigued.

  ‘Only rabbits, rats and sea birds live there,’ Geoff told her. ‘Fishermen go out and sometimes brave picnickers stay for a few hours – or get cut off and wait till the next low tide.’

  ‘I’d like to go there one day,’ she said, shading her eyes against the weak autumn sun.

  ‘I’d like to take you,’ Geoff said quietly.

  She looked at him and decided to tell him the reason she was there.

  ‘I gather you know Phillip Murton and his friend Matthew Charles,’ she said. When he nodded she added, ‘Phillip is the reason I’m here. We’d been… together for a long time, but he walked out. I came to talk to him, find out why, but I haven’t been able to confront him. I’ve either lost my nerve or, perhaps, I no longer care.’

  Her hesitation over the word ‘together’ made him cautious about asking questions. He guessed they hadn’t been married or she would have said so. For him to infer they had been living together without being married was an assumption that would embarrass them both if it was wrong, and even more so if it was right. So he said nothing, just waited for her to continue.

  ‘He seemed to need me, and there’s nothing more flattering than that. I took him in, then, well, you needn’t know the details, except that when I suggested we get married he soon left.’

  ‘You promised to support him while he made his name as an artist?’ Geoff then surmised.

  ‘Like several others before me, fool that I am. I thought it would be different for us. I believed he loved me, and when he agreed to the job as a school caretaker that proved it. Or so I thought.’

  ‘A school caretaker?’ That wouldn’t please the high and mighty Marjorie, Geoff thought with a guilty feeling of joy. ‘Did he actually work, or leave it to you?’

  ‘To be fair, he tried, at first. But, gradually, more and more of the menial tasks were left to me. I thought that if we married, bought a place to run as a bed and breakfast, he’d behave more responsibly. Even now after such a short time apart I realize how stupid I’ve been.’


  ‘Not stupid. You’re a decent person, honest and loyal, and you expected everyone to be the same. You trusted him; isn’t that what we all do when we give our life into another’s keeping?’

  ‘I was stupid. I knew what he was like, I pretended he’d changed, that I had changed him. Stupid and vain.’

  They were getting cold as the short day ended: the shape of the island seemed larger, looming closer, and the sea, coming around and meeting in the middle of the causeway, seemed to chill them further. Connie pulled her scarf more tightly and Geoff followed her as she turned and walked back to the van.

  ‘Sorry,’ she said, as he opened the passenger door for her. ‘There’s me blathering on and spoiling your lovely afternoon treat.’

  ‘Thank you for trusting me,’ Geoff replied. ‘And our afternoon wasn’t spoiled. In fact, I hope we can repeat it before too long. That’s if you’re staying a while.’

  She looked at him as he climbed in beside her. ‘I don’t know. I might go back home without even trying to see Phillip. Better, perhaps, to admit failure than get involved in arguments and recriminations that wouldn’t solve a thing.’

  Geoff started the engine and got them back on the road before he replied. With the engine purring efficiently he said, ‘Please stay, at least for a while. I’d like to see you again, and perhaps next time we could eat in more comfortable surroundings? A warm café would be better than a picnic on a cold beach in October, eh?’

  ‘I loved your surprise, Geoff. Thank you for it.’ She touched his hand, lightly squeezed it. ‘And as for going home, well, I think I’ll wait a wee while, and see what happens when Phillip and I meet. I have to see him, close the door firmly, if you see what I mean.’

  Geoff parked the van outside the shop, and as he began to walk her back to her lodgings a man opposite saw them as they passed into the light of a street lamp. He gave a low groan. Connie! What on earth was she doing following him here? He paled as he imagined what she would tell his parents. She was certain to be angry. The truth about how he had really survived in the years since he had left home would be hard to deny. Perhaps he should leave straight away before she found him. Or, better still, get his story in first.