A Girl Called Hope

  She went up to the kitchen window and looked in. David was drawing, sitting at the big kitchen table surrounded by crayons and paints and pools of water. Hope came into the room and pointed at the clock and Marjorie guessed she was telling him he had five more minutes and then he must clear up.

  The cold was biting into her feet and the back of her legs. She had to take a chance on Freddy not being there and go inside. She pushed open the door and went in.

  ‘Mother-in-law, you look frozen, come and sit by the fire,’ Hope said with concern. A blanket was spread across the end of the couch and she took it and wrapped it around Marjorie’s shoulders, then led her to the chair close to the blaze.

  ‘Is he here?’

  ‘Do you mean Peter or Father-in-law? In fact, the answer’s the same. They’ve gone to buy logs from the farm. They’ve taken the horse and cart and will probably stop at the Ship and Compass for a drink on the way home.’

  ‘Don’t mention that awful place.’ Her voice came out as a low, growl. ‘Hope, I have to talk to you, can we put David to bed?’

  ‘No, I promised he could wait up and have a story read to him by Peter when he comes back. I can’t disappoint him.’ She could see that something serious was on Marjorie’s mind, so she added, ‘I’ll let him get the cars and garage out, that will keep him happy for a while, then we can go into the kitchen and drink tea, and you can tell me what’s worrying you.’

  Marjorie waited impatiently as Davy was settled and the kettle was put on the gas ring to boil. She wanted Hope to be told before Freddy returned, so they could forbid him to stay. Hope wouldn’t allow him through the door once she knew what he had done. When the tea was made, cups set out and the tea cosy in place, she handed the exercise books to Hope with the relevant page open.

  ‘Are you sure this is true, Mother-in-law?’ she asked when she had read several pages. ‘Richard might have got his facts wrong. He must have been very young using books like these – maybe he misunderstood the situation.’

  ‘Look at the dates.’

  ‘Oh, I see. So you do think this is true?’

  ‘It’s very believable. Think of the time he spent in your garden and the gaps between when he left and when he arrived back at Ty Mawr. It would have been so easy for them to meet. A man saying he’s going to the pub for a drink always seems innocuous, doesn’t it? Oh, it’s true. The question is, what am I to do?’

  ‘Talk to him. That’s the very first thing. You might find out it’s nothing more than over-active imagination on the part of Richard. He was in love, remember, and he might have seen romance everywhere.’

  ‘Not his own father. Children never believe their parents could be caught up in the emotions of love. They all think they invented it,’ she added with a sad half-smile.

  ‘Look, when Peter and Father-in-law come in I’ll take Davy and Peter to visit Kitty and Bob. They won’t mind. Connie is in her room, so you’ll have the house to yourselves to talk it through.’ She hesitated, turned away from Marjorie’s angry eyes. ‘Mother-in-law, I don’t know a good way to say this, but I recommend that you say as little as possible, hold back on what you feel and allow him to talk. Let silences develop and make him break them. That way you won’t allow recriminations and anger to block out the truth about what happened, and about how you both feel now.’

  Marjorie thought Hope was very wise, but she couldn’t say so. What she did say was, ‘Easier said than done.’

  ‘But you can do it. You’re strong, use that strength now and get the facts clear, before you accuse and perhaps regret.’

  ‘You don’t think it‘s true, do you?’ Accusation glistened in Marjorie’s eyes.

  ‘Like you, Mother-in-law, I simply don’t know.’

  *

  Phillip arrived at Matthew’s house to find the place empty. ‘Damnation, where is everyone?’ he muttered. Then, from behind him, he heard the gate-snick rattle and turned to see a group of peculiarly dressed people carrying what looked like all their worldly goods. There was a chorus of goodbyes, then a car drove off and he recognized the charming, musical voice of Sally. He called so he didn’t frighten them by appearing from the shadows.

  ‘Hello. I was beginning to think you’d left town.’

  ‘Phillip? What are you doing here?’

  ‘Hoping to see that husband of yours and maybe beg a bed for the night. Where on earth have you been?’

  ‘We were performing this evening. A extra performance of The Lost Child in aid of the NSPCC. His wife and his daughters were taking part, a seat was reserved for him, so Matthew is certain to be miles away! Too far to come and see us. He’d make sure of that.’

  ‘What do you mean? He’d have loved to be here but his job takes him all over half of Wales; you know how far he has to travel.’

  ‘Yes, I do know,’ she said, putting the key in the lock and ushering the two girls inside out of the cold. ‘You’d better come in – for a moment,’ she said pointedly. ‘Matthew is in Penarth, hardly a long way away. Here, I’ll give you the address of the hotel where he’s staying. Probably nothing special, but better than home, obviously.’

  While Sally was upstairs dealing with the girls and removing her stage clothes, Phillip phoned the hotel and left an urgent message for Matthew to come home and grovel.

  Less than an hour later, after they had all eaten a snack of thinly spread jam on toast, Matthew burst in looking dishevelled and flustered, and said. ‘Darling, I’m so sorry I missed your play again. I was intending to surprise you all and be in the audience, but I was stuck with a difficult customer who needed some serious pacifying. I came as fast as I could but too late. How did it go, Megan? Olwen? I bet you were wonderful. Did Twm the donkey behave?’

  Sally let him finish then said, ‘Time for bed, girls. You can comfort Daddy in his bitter disappointment tomorrow.’ The words were sarcastic and Sally’s face was a mask of controlled anger. Why did Phillip have to turn up, tonight of all nights, when she was ready for a showdown?

  ‘Phillip, will you have another cup of something – before you leave?’

  ‘Sally, love, we can’t turn him out on a night like this. His parents have moved out of Ty Mawr without telling him, can you believe that? He can’t sleep in a shed, like those squatters, can he?’

  With bad grace she handed Phillip some blankets and a pillow and gestured towards the couch. ‘What about the spare room?’ Matthew whispered.

  ‘The spare room is for you.’ she hissed back. ‘Don’t dare to try and come into my bed. Tonight or any other night.’

  ‘Sally?’ He gave a half-smile and raised an eyebrow.

  ‘Matthew?’ she retorted, raising a reflecting eyebrow, but without the smile.

  Before leaving them to settle she handed Matthew some post. The letter on top of the pile was from his employers.

  She was heard going up the stairs, and then the bathroom door closed; there were more shuffled footsteps and murmur of voices before silence fell. Matthew asked Phillip to excuse him and slit open the envelope. ‘Probably a pay rise,‘ he said casually.

  Phillip saw at once that the contents were not good. ‘Is everything all right?’ he asked.

  ‘No, it damned well isn’t. I can’t believe this. I’ve been sacked! They say they have to make cuts – demand is dropping off because of the competition.’ He stared at the letter, read it twice more and muttered, ‘Sally knew, didn’t she? She knew what the letter contained!’

  Phillip waited, expecting Matthew to want to talk about it, but nothing more was said and he made his excuses and began to make up his bed on the couch.

  Both men retired to their beds but neither could sleep. At about two a.m. Phillip sat up, aware of someone creeping about, and heard Matthew hiss, ‘Phillip, are you awake?’

  They both went into the kitchen, closed the door and switched on the light. They met each other’s eye and began to laugh. ‘Like a couple of kids threatened with having their pocket money stopped, aren’t we?’ Matthew s
pluttered.

  ‘Mine already has been!’ Phillip replied, choking back loud laughter.

  Turning on the tap slowly, so as not to make too much noise, Matthew put the kettle to boil and prepared a tray for tea, giggling at every unnecessary sound, hissing at each other to ‘sssh’ like drunks. Laughter continued as they tried to sip tea that was too hot; then suddenly the humour was gone.

  ‘Matthew, my friend, I think it’s time we grew up.’

  Matthew stared, then nodded. ‘I have to face facts, and those are that unless I stop acting like an overgrown schoolboy and give Sally the respect she deserves, show the girls that I truly love them, I’ll lose everything.’

  ‘That’s what Connie called me, more or less. A child of twenty-eight who won’t grow up.’ He stared into his teacup. ‘I regret leaving Connie, although I don’t think it would have been a perfect marriage. Far from it if I’m honest. I regret Fiona much more. I was a fool to run away before I’d checked the facts. I wish I’d prolonged the dream a while longer. What if it is my baby? What if it isn’t? I might still have had a good life. And before you ask, it wasn’t just her money. There was something special about her. A confidence, an attitude to life that told people she wouldn’t take any nonsense. She was special, really fantastic, and I acted like the fool I am and ran away.’

  ‘After your mother, I wouldn’t expect you to choose another strong woman, Phillip.’

  ‘Oh, there isn’t much resemblance between Fiona and Mum. Self-assurance makes the difference. Fiona knows exactly who she is and what she wants. She doesn’t need to live through others like Mum tried to do.’

  ‘Very philosophical for this time of night, Phillip! Why don’t you go and see her?’

  ‘I might try. There’s nothing holding me here.’ Getting up to replenish their cups he asked. ‘What will you do?’

  ‘I do love Sally. I’m really terrified of losing her and the girls. But I’ve slipped into the habit of using her more like a landlady and the house as an hotel. I want that to change, but how do I convince her I mean it?’ Thinking aloud he went on, ‘Before I plead my case to Sally, I need to get another job. Then I’ll talk to her parents and see if I can persuade them to help me. I’m more likely to win Sally over with them on my side.’

  *

  Marjorie had been surprisingly calm when Freddy came in. She was sitting at the kitchen table, which was still smeared with Davy’s paints.

  ‘Oh, there you are, Marjorie. D’you know, I found a path about six inches below the ground as I dug at the top of the garden this afternoon. Quite exciting. Wonder where it once led. I started to expose it but it got too cold. Shall I make a cup of tea?’

  ‘You won’t be staying long enough to drink it, Freddy. I want you to leave now, this minute. Divorce proceedings will follow as soon as I’ve seen our solicitor.’

  He laughed, then his eyes grew wide with surprise. ‘Marjorie? What’s this? Some game? A joke?’

  She placed the exercise book on the table. ‘No joke. Richard, Phillip and Ralph all knew about you and Betty Connors. I can’t imagine why it took me so long. I always thought it was stupid to say that the wife was always the last to know. That any woman who was unaware must be stupid themselves. But it seems it’s true.’

  ‘What are you talking about?‘ He tried to sound matter-of-fact, but his voice quivered a little. He took up the exercise book and read part of the page. He stared at her in surprise. ‘This is nonsense. I don’t know what Richard was thinking about, putting such a lot of rubbish in his diary. It’s pure fantasy.’

  ‘Then you won’t mind if I ask Betty Connors about it?’

  ‘I’d mind a great deal. She’s a friend and I wouldn’t want to embarrass her with such nonsense.’

  ‘It’s fortunate that we’ve just sold the house. It will make things a lot easier.’

  ‘For goodness sake, Marjorie, listen to yourself! Tried and convicted before you even hear what I have to say.’

  ‘All right, what do you have to say?’

  ‘I call there often for a drink and to meet friends, have a chat, like dozens of other men. I sometimes helped her with jobs she couldn’t manage herself. I wasn’t the only one to offer help, but, being a landlady of a public house and living alone, she had to be very careful. She trusted me. It was no more than that.’

  ‘I trusted you, too, but not any more. Now go, I don’t want you here.’

  ‘Go where? The house is sold. This is our home for the time being. I’m not leaving.’

  ‘Perhaps, being a friend, Betty will find you a bed for the night?’

  ‘I’ve never stayed in her bed.’

  ‘What does that prove? Why do so many people presume that a bed is the only place in which to commit adultery? Go away, Freddy. I can’t bear to look at you.’

  Unnerved by her calmness, a restraint that was so completely out of character, he picked up the bagful of clothes she offered him and went out. His intention was to wait around until Hope was back and try again to convince Marjorie that their sons had been mistaken. He walked to the Ship and Compass but found it closed. There was no reply to his knocking. Cold and deeply afraid of the outcome of the revelations he had hoped to conceal, he went back to Ty Mawr and let himself in.

  It was cold, no better than outside, and the still air seemed to seep into his bones. He lit a fire in the grate, which had been cleaned and polished ready for the new owners. No heat issued forth into the room and he sat there for a while, wrapped in greatcoat and misery, then went to see if Elsie Clements had a room to rent.

  Head-on was never the way to deal with Marjorie. A couple of days, a word with Hope, a hint of what the gossips would make of it and things would change.

  *

  After an uncomfortable night on a couch too short to accommodate his long legs, Phillip invited Matthew to go with him and try to discover what had happened to the occupancy of Ty Mawr and the whereabouts of Phillip’s parents.

  ‘Ty Mawr is sold,’ Stella informed them when they asked at the post office. ‘And, just temp’ry, the post is to be send on to Badgers Brook until they buy another place. There you’ll find them for sure. Although,’ she added in a low voice, ‘I’ve been told that your father stayed in Elsie Clements’s guest house last night. Although that’s probably temp’ry too, eh? Some trouble there is, but I don’t know what. You staying local?’

  ‘Not at present, Mrs Jones, but I’ll be sure to tell you when I am,’ he said, but the sarcasm was wasted on Stella. She thanked him and said to say ‘Hello and happy New Year’ to his mam for her.

  ‘There’s a terrible thing,’ Stella whispered in a deep, confidential voice to her next customer. ‘There’s that idly waster Phillip come home to see his parents for New Year and they’ve moved without a word. And Freddy, he’s staying in Elsie Clements’s guest house. Kicked out by Marjorie. Everybody’s locking doors on their own. There’s bound to be a third. Always goes in threes, trouble does. Glad I am that I live over the premises or there’s no knowing what would happen, eh, Mrs John? I’d better be sure to look after my Colin, mind. Mark my words, there’s bound to be a third.’

  *

  Three days later, when Sally and Matthew finally managed to find privacy to discuss the sad state of their marriage, Matthew became the third to be told to leave his home. Sally was adamant and refused to reconsider, even for a few weeks while he sorted out somewhere to stay. He and Phillip, looking like whipped dogs, went to stay at Elsie Clements’s guest house, where they met a dejected Freddy.

  ‘Dad? What happened?’ Phillip asked. ‘What’s the matter with everyone?’

  ‘Love and happiness aren’t always compatible bedfellows,’ Freddy replied enigmatically. ‘Have a drink and let time pass, that’s what I intend to do.’

  *

  Matthew went to see Sally’s parents and found them completely in accord with their daughter. ‘But there’s never been another woman, I swear it. I’ve never once strayed. I just don’t spend enou
gh time in the home, I admit that, and I will try, I really will. It’s just the conversations I miss. Staying in an hotel, meeting strangers, listening to their views and experiences, discussing every subject under the sun, I find it fascinating. Compared with evenings like those, home can be abysmally dull.’

  ‘Matthew!’

  ‘I’m sorry, I know that isn’t what you want to hear, but I wouldn’t insult you with less than the truth.’

  Sally’s mother refused to look at him. In a grinding voice she said, ‘And money? Are you fair about money? If so, why do we have to support them?’

  ‘I admit it, I spend it on myself, staying at hotels when I should be home. I love them, I don’t want to lose them. I will stop this selfishness and concentrate on my family, I promise you. I’ll get a job and all the money will be for them.’

  Her father shook his head sorrowfully and showed him to the door.

  *

  Phillip was fortunate enough to find his mother alone when he knocked on the door of Badgers Brook. Hope and Joyce had gone into town to buy supplies of cottons and zip fasteners and buttons, taking Davy with them. His mother was peeling potatoes and preparing to make a cottage pie.

  She opened the door and without a word returned to her work.

  ‘Mummy, what on earth has happened? Why has Ty Mawr been sold? Why isn’t Dad here with you?’

  ‘Your father is staying at the guest house until he finds something more suitable.’

  ‘I know. I’m staying there too, until my money runs out, and I don’t know where I’ll be after that. Please, Mummy, tell me what’s going on.’