by Treva Harte
What truths did she want? He wasn’t about to try to tell her about children now. Not when he was suddenly unsure of her. What if she wanted to believe it? That would be a damned good excuse to run from him.
Instead Lowell spoke aloud what used to be his most closely-held secret. “You already know that I like to sub when I’m non-were.”
Lin snorted. “And you know I like you to obey. I also know that when you’re were, you’re totally dominant and you’d just as soon your pack not know there’s any other side to you. Maybe that’s why you’re so freaking nasty with them. But that’s not the issue.”
Jesus. The thing that had kept him away from women for years wasn’t an issue? But she was right. Lin was in charge of what happened now. He didn’t have to think about hiding his preferences anymore. He could do whatever he craved—which was whatever she demanded of him.
God, what freedom!
But then what was the issue? Her issue? He was sure no one had told Lin what her father believed. Lin wouldn’t make him guess about a thing like that.
Hell, was this a female thing?
It might be useless, but he had to ask. “So what do you mean?”
“Lowell!” Lin shoved his shoulder. He almost staggered from sheer surprise. But, damn it, his cock stiffened at the rough contact. “I’m starting to figure you out. Can’t you understand anything about me? Don’t you know what’s up?”
My cock is damn well up. I want your pussy rubbing me. I want you on top of me, that hot wet channel covering my hard-on…
Lowell let out a slow breath of air and backed off. He knew that wasn’t what Lin meant. It was a damn shame, but he had to think instead of screw right now. If he got any closer he’d forget that. “You’re upset. You have been ever since we had dinner at your parents’.”
She sniffed, figuring something that obvious didn’t deserve a reply. If she wasn’t going to say what was wrong, he could think of only one other way to find out what the hell she meant.
Lowell shut his eyes, let himself open to Lin. First he received twinges of emotion that were hard to discern. But as he focused, the sensations grew stronger until emotion almost hissed out of his mate, even though she stood without speaking, without moving. He began to sort the feelings out. There was anger, plenty of that, but under that—was fear?
Fear and hurt and jealousy.
“What the hell do you have to be jealous of? You already have me by the balls!” Lowell opened his eyes. “Jesus, woman, I’m yours. Totally.”
“Are you?” Lin didn’t look any happier.
Unhappiness with him, he could understand. He would have been surprised if there hadn’t been any. Maybe even hurt. He was a moody bastard and hard to handle. But fear? Lin wasn’t afraid. Not of drunks in bars, not of her new, less than welcoming, packmates and most especially not of him.
Was she?
He stared at her now. Unlike other weres, alphas were permitted, even encouraged, to stare. Then again, his mate was alpha, too. Lin held his gaze, giving back challenge for challenge.
That was when another emotion of hers swept in, one that knocked all the rest out of his head. Desire. Grasping, greedy need. She wanted to fuck. Hard and hot and nasty.
Hell, he knew what to do about that. And if fucking was all they ever had—no children, no “true” mating by were standards—well, he was already a pervert. He almost liked the idea. They’d have to make the fucking worth everything, wouldn’t they? Damn. He already had.
He began to circle her, slowly. She cocked her head to one side, refusing to flinch as he closed in on her. But she didn’t reach out for him, although now he could do more than feel her lust—he could smell it. That musky scent made him want to grab her, but he sensed more lurking underneath.
She was torn. She wanted to fuck but she was resisting the urge. Resisting him.
Were instincts swamped his human ones. He was her fucking mate. Her alpha. What right did she have to resist?
“What makes you question me?” Lowell scowled.
DAMN IT. SHE was finding it ever more difficult to follow his questions. The humming buzz of lust jangled her nerves and made it hard to think at all. She was so damn confused. She was supposed to be angry and having it out with him. But now she couldn’t.
He was just so male.
Ever since she’d changed, she had new, huge sexual hungers to contend with. Thank God her change hadn’t happened until she’d found Lowell again. She wanted sex all the time. She hadn’t been immune from lust before. Far from it. But this—this itch was different and overwhelming. Now she craved it. Craved him. She watched Lowell get closer and wasn’t afraid of him moving in, as if for the kill. She wanted him to pounce on her, to make her fall back into the burn of the raw and physical. To be an animal.
There wasn’t any shame in lust, and most especially not werelust. You simply wanted to satisfy your hunger. But she hadn’t counted on that hunger always being there, crying to be fed.
Sometimes the human part of you could hold it in, could let other things like fear or anger stop you from the want. Sometimes nothing could. Right now she couldn’t help herself.
Forget her stupid human quibbles. She wanted to burn all her concerns away, to take Lowell into her body, into her mind…losing her doubts and anger and confusion to the basic were desires.
Weres lusted and then they fucked. That was what they needed above all. Maybe, maybe she could understand and forgive what had to have happened before if Lowell had been as hungry then as she was now. And alone.
“Was this how it was with the old pack when you had no one?” Lin got the words out. “You thought you’d die if you didn’t fuck?”
He was close enough now to brush against the thin cotton gauze of her skirt. The heat of him was stoking the fire inside her.
“I’d fucked a lot of times by your age, Lin. Or at least I’d been fucked. If I was good enough, I got paid for it. That’s how I survived, until I met your father. I had no one and nothing, so I sold myself. I suppose you didn’t know that.”
That was something she’d think about later. The hurt and loneliness he must have gone through. Right now it was just confusing her. She wanted to focus on her own hurt right now. And her own desires.
“But did you want to fuck?” She stared at him, trying to see his face in the dark, trying to find answers without him finding out what she meant. “More like need to. Have to.”
“Yeah. Of course. Hell, Lin, I was young and I’m were. I wanted it all the time. When I didn’t run and get something real, I’d dream about it at night. Sweat for it. Any kind of fucking would do. But mostly I fantasized about fucking a warm pussy. I spent hours imagining what it would be like…I damn near rubbed my cock raw at the images in my head. I’d done a lot of things by the time I was your age, but never that.”
“Not until you met a pack with a woman in it.”
Everything stilled. Lin tried to feel his emotions, but her own were too tangled, too ferocious to let his in.
Lowell stared at her. “What? That’s what this is about? You want to slip a cock ring on me because of…”
“Because of my mother.”
“Leila? Because you’re jealous of your mother?”
Nausea rose up in Lin’s throat. And why the hell did he sound relieved?
“Yes. No. Tell me, Lowell. I have to know.”
“You think your father would let anyone, especially an omega, get inside his mate? You think Leila would let me?” His voice lowered. “You think I’d sneak around and shame my alphas by screwing one? Would you do that, Lin?”
“This isn’t about me, damn it. Don’t even try to make it about me. There was something! I know there was something. I could sense it tonight!” Lin clenched her fists, sickness replaced by frustrated anger, because she still wasn’t getting to what he was hiding from her.
Lowell shook his head, as if to clear it.
“We’re all weres, Lin. Whatever there was, it never went fur
ther than pack rules allowed. Yes, your mother is female. She was sexy. She still is, damn it. She’s alpha and she can do what she wants with the rest of her pack. And I was a horny little beast who lusted after her. I’d have done the same after any woman who would look at me cross-eyed.”
“But you left. There was a reason you left the pack. We loved you and you loved us. Was it because of her?”
He sighed. “Yes. But even more, it was because of Dek.”
“Daddy?” She really didn’t want those images in her head. But if Lowell fucked someone and not a woman…
“No, I don’t mean I wanted to fuck Dek. Not that—err, never mind. I mean I was a starving mongrel and I knew I’d only get to sniff at Leila as long as he was around. Neither he nor your mother would ever allow more. More importantly for you, I wanted to stick to pack code. Strange as it may sound, I honored my alphas even more than I wanted sex with Leila. But it was best for all of the pack if I left. We all knew that could change, especially if I could constantly see them—smell them…Shit, there’d have been nothing but grief for us all if I stayed.”
His hands bruised her shoulders as he gripped her, but she didn’t care. She moved even closer against the vee of his legs, rubbing against him. She was almost beyond making sense of what he said, but his sincerity and lust got through. He wanted her. He was totally focused on her.
“Thank you. For telling me.” Whatever he’d done or not done, he was hers now. It wasn’t important enough to ask.
She did anyway. “But you did have women? Later?”
He hesitated. “Not many. Not nearly enough for you to be jealous. There was one non-were who was almost important to me. Since you’re going to keep asking, yes, I liked screwing her. A lot. Almost too much to give her up when the pack needed me to move on. After that, I kept away from non-weres. It was too complicated and I like pussy way too much. It was ironic, really. I made myself alpha because I wanted to mate. And once I became one, I had to be alpha first, horn dog second.” He bit her shoulder. “I can be both with you. Thank God.”
“Yes.” There was still something more. She sensed it. But she couldn’t think or say more as she arched her neck back, submitting to him.
“Lin, I need you. And I’m going to keep you, no matter what.”
All the tension leaked away, leaving just warmth. She knew a new tension was going to fill her soon, but right now she savored the rough bearded stubble that abraded her neck as Lowell nipped and licked her skin. She wanted the quick, hot darts of pain as his teeth closed in on her.
She wanted to surrender to him this time.
She wanted him to rip the thin skirt with one impatient tear, just the way he did a heartbeat later. Her nipples hardened as the night air and then his mouth touched them. He suckled hard, forcing them to even tighter peaks.
And then she wanted to fall back just the way they did a moment later, half-on, half-off the bed, bowled over by his impatience and hers. When he pushed her legs apart and entered her, hard and hungry and unwilling to wait, she shivered with excitement.
Lin moaned when she realized his weight held her down. Her heart was beating so rapidly, she wondered if it would stop from overuse. She tried to move her hips, to deepen the thrust of his cock inside her, but not being able to move made her even wetter and hotter. Hungrier for not being allowed to satisfy herself. Her nails scored into the light furring of his chest, leaving a trail of red welts.
She struggled and panted. He ignored her and that only increased her sharp need. His own hoarse groans echoed in her ear as he thrust deep and then deeper yet. Everything stoked the burning that tingled from her clitoris and radiated out through her body.
She wailed as Lowell’s breath whistled out of his lungs. Finally he drew back slightly, allowing her to move. The bed shook underneath her and her legs, clinging to his hips, drew her body up and smacked against him with each thrust.
She wanted to do more. She wanted to snarl and snap at him. To offer her human belly and then her ass and be forced to submit, just like the lesser ranked were. The only thing that stopped her from the change was her total pleasure in what was happening as he used his non-were body to subdue her, to claim her, and to pleasure her completely. He was heavy and sweating and no longer focused on her wants. This was what he wanted. Her. He wanted her. Were form or not, this time he would be an animal who wanted to come inside his mate.
And that pushed her even closer to her own satisfaction.
She tensed, biting her lip, clutching for the sheets that bunched under her back. She was so close to the ultimate pleasure that the tremors of her release had begun to shake her body. She was so close to the edge, so delightfully, fearfully near to toppling…
But he stilled above her. Refused to move. She’d kill him. She’d—Lin shook her sweaty hair out of her eyes and blinked at the man above her. Her breath caught.
For someone who was doing his level best to drill her through the bed, he looked…tender. He studied her for a long moment, as if he’d memorize every frustrated, quivering inch of her. Then he smiled, a little crookedly, and she saw the suddenly elongated length of his teeth, changing the tenderness to something more feral. Good. He wanted to change as badly as she did. Wanted to and was resisting that want because what they had already was so good.
His chest pumped in and out, the flash of metal that pierced his nipple sparkling in the dim reflection of the moon. He gripped her wrists and pulled them up above her head.
“Wolf. Human. Both ways. Any way. I claim you, Lin. D’you understand? Always. No matter what.”
“Yes.”
She couldn’t say anything more. She didn’t need to. With a long growl, he lowered his head against her and began to pump again, even harder. Hot liquid spilled into her already heated body, even as he kept thrusting.
Lin released a long, thin howl of joy as she came, fiercely, her body racked with her orgasm. Lowell collapsed on top of her a moment later. He hastily rolled off.
“My God.” Lowell covered his eyes with his hand.
“Yeah.”
“Topping is hard work.”
Lin snorted, too weak to laugh.
They both heard the faint scratching at the door. Lowell sat up, his body shielding hers. “What?”
Slick opened the door hesitantly. Once again Lin wondered if he’d shuffle his feet while he spoke. “Boss—you had a phone call.”
She’d thought the ringing in her ears had been from her climax.
“And?” Lowell sounded as impatient as she felt.
“You were busy. But—but—”
Damn. Was the entire pack waiting outside, listening to them, waiting for them to finish? Part of her wanted to shrivel up in embarrassment, but another part exulted. Let them listen and long for what she and Lowell had.
“It’s her father.” Slick glanced over toward Lin and hastily looked back at the floor. He held out the cell phone. “Trouble.”
“What kind?” Lowell reached for the phone.
Oh, dear Lord. Had her parents been listening in by phone as well?
The beta moved his hand back, not letting Lowell take the phone. “I dunno. The kind that makes an alpha call and say he needs help. He said you had to keep it private.”
Lowell growled. Slick swallowed and backed out of the room. Lin didn’t think the other were had to worry, but then she’d never seen Lowell quite so unhappy.
“What is that beta’s name, anyway?” Lin asked. She knew it was a stupid question but, insanely, she thought conversation could postpone what he’d hear next.
“Oscar.” Lowell answered absently.
Odd name for a trouble-making behemoth. She should ask what his partner’s name was. Big Bird? Ernie? She should—
She didn’t want to hear what the trouble was. She was tough, sure, but she didn’t want to hear it. Eventually she would. Maybe she should insist on ignoring her father’s command for privacy right now, but she let Lowell stride out and shut the door. She n
eeded a minute or so to collect herself.
It must be bad. Very bad.
Adrenaline surged and she crouched in a fighting stance, without knowing what she needed to fight.
“GOD DAMN IT!” Still naked, Lowell began to pace as he held the phone. “What the fuck kind of game is this?”
He almost fell over his pack when he turned. Orders of privacy long since forgotten, the two male betas kept creeping closer, straining to hear the rest of the phone conversation. Lowell might have laughed except for his rising annoyance and puzzlement.
“All right. I understand that you didn’t call. There’s no real emergency. Who gives a damn about Rossi being gone? He’s nothing. Probably just passed out somewhere. Unless—”
Lowell raised his head and the rest shrank back when they saw his eyes.
“Where’s Dru?” Lowell demanded.
Oscar cleared his throat. “She’s been hiding in her room ever since you smacked her down, boss. It’s been kind of nice to have the peace.”
“Make sure she’s still there.” Lowell spaced his words out, his voice almost gentle.
Oscar goggled before he spun around and ran as fast as a huge man could, even faster than last time.
“I’ll kill Rossi. No, I’ll cut off his little head since that’s the only one that ever did any thinking. I know they’re planning something. And if Dru has even the slightest idea about making trouble, I’ll—” Lowell knew he was snarling, babbling, the words turning into one huge snarl as the change began. But the hair was standing on the back of his neck and he could feel the wrongness.
Dek hadn’t called him at all. Hadn’t thought it worth mentioning that Rossi had been gone since their supper together. Certainly hadn’t said anything about it being an emergency. But someone had called to say he had. Someone had demanded Lowell’s attention on the phone.
Wrong. Something was wrong.
“Jesus fuck, Lowell, she’s gone!” Oscar was back and panting from the exertion. “Everything is cleared out. The kid—Mia—she’s hiding in a corner, crying. But Dru’s run from the pack.”