“Give me a few hours or more, traffic is jammed from some roadwork.”
She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, nervous about how safe he might be in traffic. “Drive safe and call me if anything feels even remotely strange.”
He agreed, and she hung up, her attention drifted back to Sebastian, who was waiting patiently a few feet away.
She walked over, fighting the urge that washed over her to fall into his arms, and reminding herself that he was not meant for her. That had been his decision. “I need your help tonight, but first I think I should talk to Dillon.”
He took a step closer, standing just beside her. “The less he knows the better.”
“Maybe about monsters and witches, but I think he needs to at least know there is a pattern. Maybe they, the FBI, can go watch Steven. I can’t do that again. Dmitry was, well, he was harsh.” She flinched at thinking back to the beating.
The images danced across Sebastian’s mind again. He already suffered hearing and feeling most of it from their connection. He pulled her to him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. He’s going to pay for this, all of this.”
“Sebastian, stop it. Don’t you dare even think it, what if he hears it in my mind?” She stepped away from his embrace. “We shouldn’t do that. It still feels too much, like something that it can’t be.” Her eyes flicked away. “I’ll call Dillon, and meet him at the station. You can come, that way the monsters won’t be angry.”
Sebastian agreed and walked with her toward the truck. While they walked, she called Dillon.
“Gwen, that you? You okay?” His voice sounded concerned at first, but then went flat. “What did you need?”
After a long pause, she said, “I was just calling to see if you have any news yet.”
“No, I’m sorry. I will have someone call if we do.”
Someone? Things had gone from perfect, to totally done so fast, she didn’t know what to make of it. Ronda must have made demands or something. “I have some thoughts. Do you have time to talk formally about the case?”
“I, there will be someone here.”
“No, Dillon, you.” Her voice strained as she resisted the urge to ask him what happened between them.
“Sure.”
After she hung up, she felt even worse. What had she done to push him away? She tried to think over the past week. There must have been some trigger. It had to have been recent. Last night.
Sebastian felt her pain and stepped over. “What can I do?”
“What can you do? How about you explain to me why I am so easy to throw away?” A few tears came to her eyes and rolled down her cheeks, before she managed to reign them in.
His arms wrapped around her. “It’s just not that simple, my love.”
“It is. It was for Steven, for Lewis, and for Dillon. I wasn’t even good enough to be a friend to Mikhail.” She looked up at him and her lip quivered. “It was simple for you.”
“I…” He stopped and swallowed as he considered if he could keep her safe from Dmitry. Had it just been Dmitry, he would have told her and left with her, but he knew the vampire reach went farther, and there were much more powerful creatures than Dmitry. He couldn’t keep her safe during the day. He wasn’t even sure what would happen to him, in the body he was trapped in, if the vampires really attacked him. There were too many unknowns to risk her life. “I…”
“No, stop. I need your help. Real help, people need me.” She pulled all the way away from him, and wiped her eyes.
They got in the truck and she started toward town. The awkward silence between them lingered until they pulled into the station parking lot.
“Did you want me to walk in?” Sebastian reached over and squeezed her hand after watching her stare at the station doors for a few long moments.
She turned back to him and tried for a smile, but failed. “No, one at a time is all I can handle right now. Let me make sure Dillon is aware of what he needs to be, and then you and I can talk more about what is going on.”
Sebastian waited outside, watching her walk away, wishing with each step there was a way he could make things right for her. All he ever wanted was for her to be happy and loved.
“W hat’s this about?” Dillon stood behind the chair across from where Gwen sat.
She looked at his eyes, seeing warmth as she always had, but hearing cold in his voice. “I have a hunch about what is happening and who might be next.”
He looked down at the table and the blank tablet he brought to take notes on. “You should talk with agent Linder then. It’s his case now.”
She watched as he first ran his fingers through his hair, and then began to fiddle with his pen, snapping the button repeatedly that ejected the tip. “Dillon please, you are my best friend. I don’t want to talk to some stranger. I didn’t say I have proof. I have a hunch.”
He pulled out the chair and sat down. His eyes never raised to look at her, and he started to tap the pen on the table. “Go ahead. Whatever you tell me, I will have to tell him.”
“Fine. I think this is about people I love.” She paused and ran her finger along the table edge. “Romantically.”
He looked up, saw sadness in her eyes, and looked away. If she cried, he knew he would struggle to stay in his seat and not hold her. “Go on.”
“The first, he was my first crush. I never really thought of it as such, but it was. I daydreamed about him like all the little girls did.” She tapped her fingers together. “It was just a harmless crush, but it meant something to me.”
“Is this going somewhere?”
His tone sliced through her, opening the still raw wounds of his rejection. “Dillon, why are you angry at me?”
“I’m just busy, Gwen.” He sighed, and started to say something, but stopped and said, “There are dead bodies in my town with some strange ritual connection.”
“Connected to me.”
“Perhaps. Is there any other reason aside from a crush to make you think so?”
“Yes, they even seem to be in order. After Bradly, I never much thought about anyone until high school. I dated Barry as you know. He was the very next person I loved or thought I cared about.” She drew in a breath, rubbed her fingers together, closed her eyes, and tried to compose herself to talk about Steven. Everything felt so fresh, and she knew tears were lingering just under the surface. “After that, I tossed myself into studies and didn’t fall in love again until college. I didn’t even like, or really notice anyone. My first lover, he is likely your next victim.”
“You really think so?” Dillon watched her closely. He was trained to tell if people were lying, and what they might be feeling. What he got from both her words and behaviors was that she really did believe that. She felt guilty about it, and her first lover was someone she didn’t want to talk about. Staying cold as he was ordered he said, “It’s a bit farfetched.”
Her face showed that his words hurt, and her tone, even though she tried for unemotional, was weak and shaken. “What leads do you have? What harm would there be in sending a man to watch over him?”
“I will have to pass this theory by Linder, it’s not my case anymore. Give me the rest of the names of people who might be targeted.”
She looked away and blushed. Could she tell him? Should she tell him, in light of the new distance between them? Maybe he wouldn’t even be a target. Her eyes came back up to see his still held a look that didn’t match his words. It was the look of her best friend, the man who helped her put her life back together. The same compassion he always had was still there. Could she not tell him? “The one I mentioned is Steven Greenly, he still teaches at the college.” She swallowed a lump.
He wrote down the name and then looked up from his notes, catching her in his eyes. “Who’s next?”
Her hands started to tremble and she put them in her lap. “Y-you.”
“Me?” His voice cracked out as the room started to close in on him.
“If they somehow knew I had a cr
ush on Bradley, when I told no one, then we should err on the side of caution.” She watched as he seemed to struggle with what she said.
His eyes looked everywhere but her and his knuckles grew white as his grip on the pen tightened. “You love me?”
“Yes, I loved you.” When their eyes finally met, she saw his bore the sadness that she felt coming off him since she said his name. It struck her as odd that her confession of love would make him sad. Shocked, perhaps. Even annoyed, since she seemed to have done something wrong. But after the way he had been treating her, sadness just didn’t make sense. “Then would be Shane. That ends the list. I hope.”
Dillon looked away and put the pen down. He stood up and paced. She loved him. That had to change things. Didn’t it? It was more than just maybe they could have loved each other. They did love each other. They were both hiding that love from each other. “How would anyone know your private thoughts? I wasn’t even aware of how you felt.”
“I know. I didn’t want you aware. Danger, like what is happening, seems to follow me.”
“To protect me?” He stopped pacing and waited for her to look at him. “You, how long, Gwen?”
“I don’t know. It doesn’t matter, you have more important things to worry about than my emotions.”
As the urge to tell her everything grew stronger, he knew he needed to get away from her. He needed to think about what he could do, and he couldn’t think clearly looking at her. The look on her face told him she was in a fragile place and she needed him. It pained him to push her away again. “I will pass your hunch to Agent Linder. I’m leaving my name off. I can handle my own protection.”
“Dillon, if something happens to Steven, I will tell Agent Linder myself. You need to be extra careful, not everything is as simple as a bad guy that your gun can stop. Some bad guys are worse than others.”
“I know that.” He took a step to the door, the desire to tell her everything was pushing at him from all sides. “I have things to do.”
She stood up and reached out, stopping him with a touch that sent a tingle racing over him. “No, the occult may really be involved. Please. Keep your name on that list.”
There was pain in his eyes as he stepped away from her. “I’m going to have a man at your house during the day.”
“I’m okay. It’s about people I care about, not me. That’s what my instincts say.”
“No, this could be about you, you might be the main target.” He rapped his fingers on the doorframe. “Is there anything else?”
“Yes, whatever I did, last night.” She paused, fighting back her emotions. “I’m sorry.”
His hand went to her face reflexively at seeing the tears start to well up. “Sweetestheart, don’t think that.”
She narrowed her eyes. “What am I supposed to think?”
“I…” He fought down the words he really wanted to say. “I’m married to my job. You know that.”
She shook her head. There was more to it than that. It was the same job he had since they met, and it never came between them before. Sure it interrupted them, but it never made him cold toward her. “Ronda?”
“I can’t explain that.” He removed his hand. “I’m sorry.”
“Fair enough. Please have someone tell me if there is any validity to my hunch. If possible, can you watch Steven without dragging my name into it? Things with him were also awful.” She looked at the door and arched a brow as if to say, get out of my way.
“Gwen, Ronda’s not, we’re not. It’s just not what you think.” He frowned, the emotion reflected in every feature of his face.
“Let me know what happens with Steven, please. Be careful, Dillon.”
Dillon watched her walk out. He could feel she was hurting, sadness seemed to be coming off of her in waves. He matched her sadness, but for him what surpassed it was anger. As soon as she turned the corner he punched the door, sending a shock of pain up his arm as his injured hand smashed into the hard wood.
On the way to the car she dialed Shane to make sure he was okay. Due to the huge roadwork project, he was still suffering delays, but she hung up, happy that at least he was safe and in route. She needed to feel the arms of someone who actually wanted to hold her.
“C an I look? It would help me understand what she did. It won’t hurt like when they do it since we are already connected.” Sebastian sat beside Gwen on the couch in her main room.
She tugged her shawl tighter and eyed his scarf, trying not to think back to when they made them for each other. “Don’t pry, Sebastian. There are private things. There are things now that don’t belong between us.”
“I understand. Shane. Dillon. I will just look at what happened at the school today. I promise.” He stood, put his hand behind her back and laid her down across the couch. A gentle smile stayed on his face as he sat down beside her. His finger ran across her face and came to rest on her temple.
The feeling of his touch had the same effect on her it always did. She felt the sensation race from her skin across all of her nerve endings. Her hand involuntarily reached up to his. She pulled it away. “I’m sorry. Go ahead.”
Sebastian fought his own urges to kiss and caress her. He watched the exchange with her and Josephine and then stood up. “Aside from avoiding eye contact, there are a few things we can practice. I will show you how to resist a binding and entrancement. Make sure you only use the technique against witches. It will not help you with vampires, but will serve to annoy them.”
“Okay, let’s get started, Shane should be home soon. He deserves a night without talk of witches, monsters, and dead bodies.”
“You deserve as much.” He tried not to snarl at the mention of Shane, again surprised that his reaction to him was so strong. His rage wasn’t an emotion she needed to deal with, he could sense she was really struggling with the loss of love from both himself and Dillon. He liked to think if she wasn’t so crushed, she would have seen Shane for what he was, but that was irrelevant and distracted from what needed doing.
“Do you think I can really spare him this, this pain that seems to come into all of my relationships.”
Sebastian knew about the curse of men who father children in her family already, but there was a part of him that didn’t care what happened to Shane, other than not wanting it to hurt her. Maybe in some small way, Dmitry will have spared her the greater suffering of losing someone like Dillon for real. “I honestly can’t say.”
They went upstairs to the altar room where he showed her several things she could use to counter binding and block a witch’s entrancement. They were heading down to relax when she felt Shane coming.
“Can you watch us from a distance please? I know you have to do what Dmitry wants, but I would like some alone time with him.” Gwen looked toward the stairs as she felt him nearing.
“Of course. Do me a favor. Don’t run recklessly after her, even with what I’ve shown you, a witch like that is not to be trifled with.”
She turned back to him. “I didn’t start this Sebastian, they did. I was content to stay here with you, to stay here and mind my own business.”
Shane appeared at the top of the stairs. “Sebastian.” He nodded toward him and then looked to Gwen. “Hey baby, I missed you. You look great.”
“You sure? I lost the legs and tan.” She gave a small chuckle, hoping that might mask the day’s sad tone.
He laughed. “I think you are perfect the way you are. Seriously.”
Sebastian started toward the stairs. “I’ll let myself out. I’m a call away, if you need me.”
“Thank you.” She knew he wouldn’t be far, since Sergei told him not to leave her, but she was going to try for a normal night. “Have you eaten?”
“Yep, grabbed something on the road. You good?”
“Yes. You want to lay down and relax?” The smile she offered was forced, but the sentiment was real. “It’s been a long night.”
They laid down and she told him about most of the day. She left o
ff Dmitry’s beating, the strained part of her exchange with Dillon, and the way Sebastian still spoke to her soul with his hands and eyes.
“So you think Steven will get an armed guard? What about the witch, how are you going to find her?” While they talked, he trailed his hands across her waist.
“The monsters are tracking her as we speak. I should have a lead on that tomorrow night. I hope then this will all be over.”
“In time for the weekend.” He kissed her deeply, washing away her doubts about how he felt.
She pulled back from his kiss as her talk with Gregor came back to mind. “Wait, we shouldn’t.”
Chapter Twelve
“S houldn’t?” Shane asked and looked at Gwen’s hand that stopped his from going any lower than her hip. “Sweetheart, we should. It is the most beautiful part of my day.”
“No, we need to talk first.”
“Talk?” He sat up and took a deep breath. “All you need to know is that I love you. I love every single thing about you. I loved you enough to make up some silly trip to Colorado, just to stop by and see you again, because I missed you. I love you enough to look past Steven, and Dillon, and dead bodies, which I have to admit is a bit scary.”
“Right, and loving me is dangerous enough. We might be able to protect you from Josephine, but not Fannie. Look, you need to know that if I have children, the father becomes part of the family debt. She will hunt you down as soon as I get pregnant.” She saw his disappointment etched on his face. “I’m not saying we can’t make love; we probably want to be more cautious. Much more cautious.”
“No, I don’t want some family curse to stop us from having a life together. I want a family with you. You are my love, Gwen. Can’t your monsters stop this Fannie woman? She’s just a woman, they are monsters.”
“We hardly know each other. Let’s take it slower, sort these issues and then talk about families.” She sat straighter as his words sank in. A family? They essentially just met. “You really want a family? With me?”
Fateful Attractions Page 12