She placed her hand on his arm. “Aaron, talk to me.”
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CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
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Christin waited for him to say something and when he finally did, they were not the words she’d wanted to hear.
“Who did you meet at the garden?” He was holding her gaze so tightly that she didn’t dare look away.
Or tell him the truth.
“What do you usually do when you’re upset?” she asked.
“Shout. Break things.” His eyes darkened. “Or people,” he added smoothly. “Who did you meet in the garden?”
She focused her eyes at his ear, which she thought to be a very attractive ear. “No one. Lorena and I simply wished to see Nezzer.”
He moved closer, so their eyes would meet again. “Then why sneak away?” he whispered.
“We wanted to be alone,” she replied softly. “You should practice not shouting or breaking things… or people when you’re upset.”
His arms went around her and dragged her body up to meet his. His breath brushed her lips. “Maybe you can distract me.” Then he kissed her.
She shivered as great heat burst from her skin. Her hands went to his jawline and pulled him closer.
He broke the kiss but didn’t let her go. “No,” he whispered. “I won’t be distracted.”
She had to force her bottom lip to keep from poking out.
He leaned his head toward hers and met her eyes “You’re a horrible liar, so don’t try again.”’
She knew she’d make a horrible criminal. She didn’t have much practice at the art of lies. “What if I told you that I can’t give you the answers you seek?”
He shook his head. “I’d not accept that answer.” Then he paused, and his expression relaxed. “Are you in trouble in any way?”
She smiled, getting used to the idea that Aaron wanted to help her. If only she could help him. “No, I’m not in any trouble.” At least, not any of the trouble Aaron thought. She was, however, wary where the Earl of Jeanshire was concerned.
But then again, she wasn’t that wary. In fact, she wanted them to continue what they’d been doing just a moment ago.
“Did you meet with a man?” he asked.
The question vanquished her desire and set her heart to racing. Her throat closed as she watched his mouth thin. His jaw went hard under her hands.
“Who?” he growled.
“You misunderstand,” she said. “He wasn’t… I didn’t go there to…” How could she explain herself without explaining herself?
His hold around her tightened. “Who did you meet, Christin?”
“Lorena was there,” she said. “Everything is all right.”
She tried to drag his mouth back down to hers, but he wouldn’t move. He’d become like stone.
“Christin—”
“Trust me,” she finally said while holding his eyes. She didn’t want to him to go after Bancroft, because she wasn’t sure who would win such a fight. Bancroft, most likely, if one counted his guards and the men who collected the dues in Covent Garden. She’d already brought too many of her troubles to Aaron’s door. She wouldn’t put him or his girls in danger. “Can you trust me?”
“I would love to, but my trust has to be earned and that has never been an easy feat.” He let her go but held her gaze. “I need you to tell me what’s going on. What is it you told Lorena not to tell me?”
She swallowed and decided that a small truth was better than the larger one. “I… may have grown… fond of you.”
He pulled his brows down. “In what way?”
She licked her lips. “In the way that a woman grows fond of a man who is both attractive and has a fair share of benevolence to match.”
His face seemed to go through an array of emotions before his eyes softened. “Benevolence?” He lifted a brow. “I can think of a few people who would disagree with you.”
Her mind returned to the stories in the gossip rags about broken bones, but then she quickly remembered the days he’d been missing and the outcome that had resulted. Jack was gone.
And he was raising two girls who were not his own. If there was a kinder man alive, she didn’t know him. “I would have to say that anyone who says you have no compassion doesn’t know you at all.”
He backed away and moved toward the chairs. “Perhaps it is you who doesn’t know me.” He took the seat he’d occupied earlier.
She allowed his retreat and remained by the window. “Perhaps you show me one side and others an entirely different side.” She tilted her head. “Yet you forget that I’ve seen both.”
He was watching her. “And you’re not scared?”
She wished she was. She wished her body wanted to flee from the room instead of cross to him, that she didn’t hunger for him. “No,” she answered, again telling him the truth. She turned toward the metal hand that she’d seen him touch earlier and did as she usually did when he wasn’t in the room.
She locked her fingers around its own.
She heard his sharp inhale and turned to look at him again.
His eyes were on her hand but then moved to hers. “I feel I must inform you of something very important.”
Christin rooted her feet into the floor as best she could and locked her fingers about the hand as though it could keep her steady. Under his watchful gaze, she could tell that whatever he planned to say would be profound and would leave her changed. “And what is that?”
“I plan to have you in every sense of the word.”
She closed her eyes and pulled in a breath. “I thought you said my body would not be taken as a form of payment.”
“And I won’t, since you don’t owe me anything... I’m not just talking about your body, Christin,” he whispered.
She opened her eyes and saw the certainty in his, the very same look he’d given her that first day.
What could he possibly want more than her body?
His eyes moved to the sculpture, as did her own.
Her hand.
She stilled.
The office door opened, and the sounds of padding feet broke her thoughts, but not completely. She let go of the hand and watched as Mary and Lily ran toward Aaron while Tina came over to her.
Christin wrapped her niece in a tight hold that she didn’t want to break.
She did eventually lean away and meet her niece’s face. There was so much life in her eyes now and a vibrancy in her skin. She was filling out as well, though slowly. Christin was sure she ate more than anyone in the house and was glad that no one commented on the fact.
“How was the park?” Christin asked her.
“Could I have a dog?” Tina asked.
Christin was surprised. Tina had stopped asking when she would be returning to Jack and seemed to have settled into the notion that she would not be returning all on her own. Christin hadn’t told Tina the news that she had nothing to fear as of yet, since it had been only hours since she’d spoken to Bancroft, but it seemed that Tina already knew.
She touched the blond curl that hung by Tina’s ear. “A dog sounds lovely.”
“Excellent,” Lily said as she positioned herself on one of Aaron’s armchairs. “Because we’ve already got cats. Now, we’ll have a dog as well.”
Christin’s face fell, and she frowned. Cold fear slipped into her chest. Was Tina under the illusion that they were to stay in Aaron’s home?
Christin turned to Aaron and found him to be watching her casually.
I plan to have you in every sense of the word.
She swallowed as she realized that she wasn’t the only one who’d be affected by such a claim.
Was Aaron the root of Tina’s wrong beliefs?
“Girls, it’s time for reading,” Patsy said from the door. She’d obviously extended her governess role to includ
e Mary and Lily. She’d never thought Patsy’s organizational skills and abundant energy would have been of such great use as a governess until now.
Lily came over and grabbed Tina’s hand before all three left as quickly as they’d come. The door closed behind them.
Christin turned to Aaron. “Did you tell Tina—”
“I told her nothing,” Aaron said, obviously knowing what she intended to say. “Neither have I said anything to Mary and Lily, though I think they’re smart enough to understand that I’ve never brought a woman around them before and what it would mean once I did.”
Christin felt her throat close and panicked. “No.”
He stood.
She scooted away and collided with the sculpture.
Then Aaron was there, to right both her and the hand.
“May I show you something?” he asked.
“No.”
“Well, I plan to show you nonetheless.” He extended his arm.
Christin sighed and wrapped her arm in his because she did want to see whatever it was he wanted to show her. She may never marry him, but it didn’t mean she didn’t want to help him just as much as she’d planned to. A better understanding of who he was would help.
But she feared that knowing more would make it hard for her to leave in the end.
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CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
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They left the house and started toward his gardens.
“Not as impressive at the hanging garden, I’m sure,” Aaron said.
She glanced over at him. “I believe that was Mr. Bancroft’s whole mission, to put every other garden in existence to shame. Even the king has visited. Twice.”
Aaron smiled down at her and she was sure that smile was lovelier than anything she’d seen at Nezzer’s. “This morning was my first time there. How is it?”
Christin returned his smile then looked down at the gravel walk. “Lovely. You must go and take the girls. There were flowers there that I’d never imagined existed outside of the illustrations at the British Museum.”
“I think you’re exaggerating,” he drawled, seeming to lose interest.
“Oh, no.” She pressed her hand more firmly in his arm. “It’s truly amazing.”
“Probably as hideous as the man who owns it.”
“Mr. Bancroft is far from…” She let her words trail off.
Aaron stopped walking and turned her to face him. “You went to see Bancroft.”
She lifted her eyes to Aaron’s and felt both fear and irritation. “How did you do that?”
He lifted a brow. “Your brother made—”
“In-law—”
He placed a finger over her lips. “Mentioned that he owed someone money.” He slid his finger from her lips, which left a trail of sensations down to her core. “I didn’t believe him at the time, since neither Hugh nor I could find gambling debts during the days we held him captive.”
“Captive?” Christin straightened. “You mean… those days you were gone?” She covered her mouth. “I thought you were looking for him while you were gone.”
He frowned. “Your brother… in-law… was very easy to find. Once we did, we held him, had him reassure us that he’d brought no physical harm to Tina, repaid him for any other offenses he may have shown the child and your sister, and then took him to a solicitor to have him sign Tina over to your care.”
“He didn’t physically harm Tina?” she whispered.
He shook his head. “No, and neither did he let anyone else, though he did confess that he planned to once she was older. For that… well, you saw his face.”
Christin closed her eyes and took a cleansing breath. “I’d feared…”
He touched her cheek. “No more fears.” He leaned toward her. “What did Bancroft say?”
“He cleared Jack’s debt.”
“And in exchange?” Aaron narrowed his eyes.
Christin’s cheeks colors. “Nothing.”
Disappointment flashed in his features.
She wanted to earn his trust.
She sighed. “He cleared the debt and did offer dinner, but I refused.”
He shook his head and his eyes were warm again. “Is there any other man I should worry about where you are concerned? Anyone else I’ll have to pummel before I have you to myself?”
She gasped and touched her cheeks. She was surprised she could smile at such atrocious words. “No.” And then she thought better of her words. She didn’t want to encourage him after all. “Well, I mean...”
He chuckled.
“We’re not getting married,” said, shocking herself with her boldness. This man did things to her.
“Yes, we are, and the sooner you accept that fact, the smoother this will go for you,” he said plainly.
Christin was sure she would never breathe again. Who was this man that he could make such a claim?
“You don’t even know me,” she declared.
“I know enough,” he said. “I know that you’re very loyal to the agency and that your staff adores you, if Miss Lewis and the others you’ve brought into my home are any indication. Yet, you’d also abandon everything and everyone, leaving behind all you know in order to keep Tina safe. You may not know it, but that takes great courage.” He took her hand. “Your willingness to put up with your brother-in-law’s cruelty for years in order to see to Tina’s needs tells me everything I need to know about you.” He smiled. “And then there’s the way you obviously care about me. You’re beautiful, kind-hearted, and very brave. So, tell me, why would I not want a woman like you by my side?”
She’d never thought of herself in the way he spoke of her. She was speechless, really. Caring for Tina was never anything she’d thought to have a choice in. She loved her niece. She’d endure a dozen Jacks if it meant caring for Tina.
And he was right. She did care about him. It was more than just a need to repay his kindness. She cared about his happiness and his peace. Needed it.
Aaron cut her thoughts with his words. “Tell me about your first marriage.” He locked his fingers in hers and led her to a bench behind a thick tree. Christin only followed because she was stunned. When he lowered her into the chair, she remembered what was happening and she almost stood up.
“No, I can’t.”
He took her hand and yanked her back down. He then angled his body to crowd her, keeping her trapped on the bench. “Tell me, Christin.”
“I don’t like to discuss it.”
“Were you not happy?” he asked.
“John was a very sweet man,” she said. “He was kind and gentle.” And she was talking about the very thing she didn’t wish to.
“Did you love him?”
“Yes.” Then she remembered earning his trust and said, “But not in the way a wife should.” She felt retched for saying those words aloud.
“How should a wife love her husband?” he asked sincerely. “My parents were not in love, and I don’t believe my grandfather loved his wife either.”
Did he plan to love his wife?
She didn’t want the answer to that. She already knew he didn’t love her. She didn’t love him either, though he was sure that feeling was only days away. Already, she felt so much for him. She didn’t even want to imagine a day without seeing him. What did that say about her feelings?
It was more than she’d ever felt for John.
“I wasn’t a good wife,” she said. “I tried to be. I tried to give him what he wanted, but I couldn’t.” She looked away and realized that what she was about to say would surely push him away. “I used him. In the midst of my grief over my sister’s death, I accepted John’s proposal. He was kind and wanted to take care of me and I let him. I tried to make him happy, took care of him, helped with his family’s company, even honored him by staying after his death, but I could
never love him as much as he loved me.”
She looked at Aaron then, tears burning at the backs of her eyes. “I never deserved him. He was simply there, and I took advantage of it.”
“How long were you married?”
“Two years,” she whispered.
“Why do you think you couldn’t love him?” Aaron asked.
She shrugged. “I don’t know. A part of me only saw him as a good friend. I’d known him all my life. But I never felt…”
“Passion?”
She looked away and didn’t answer. Did it make her wanton for feeling this way? She could easily blame her friendship with Margaret. The woman had filled her mind with what it was to be taken by a man, and Christin had admitted a shameless part of her had wanted that.
She knew that John had desired her. She had desired him as well at times.. Only once did she ever try to begin their lovemaking. He’d been gentle in setting her down and telling her it was completely inappropriate for her to have any desire for it at all.
Well brought up women didn’t desire intimacy.
She’d never even seen her husband naked. Always the sun was down and the lamps were out before he came to her.
Those memories had made turning down men very easy over the years.
Until Aaron.
He touched her with a single finger, grazing her cheek before sliding it across her jaw and down her throat.
Christin pulled in a breath.
“I don’t have to ask if you feel passion for me,” he whispered.
She glared at him. “How dare you?”
He leaned toward her until his breath brushed her ears. “I dare, because you’ve made it known that it’s important to you, and I want you to know that it’s important to me as well.” His finger slid further down and trailed the line of her bodice. “I knew from the moment our eyes caught that you were a passionate woman.” His hand stopped at the center of her chest, and the dress eased as the first button was undone. His voice lowered as he worked. “I could feel your gaze as though you’d touched me, and all I could think about was touching you.”
Christin's Splendid Spinster's Society (The Spinster’s Society) (A Regency Romance Book) Page 15