“We’re here to help you girls set up. We got some cots and a bit of rope. But that’s about it for now. We sent for the engineers, but they ain’t showed up yet.”
“We’ll make do,” Mrs. Fincher said. “And we appreciate the help.” She turned to face us. “Girls, let’s do what we can to get set up quickly so these men can get back to their jobs.”
The husky one looked a bit surprised by her brisk commands. He turned back to his men, and they went to work setting up cots in rows of six. Then they strung up a few feet of rope between the cots and the vague path leading back to the main camp. The few of us who had made it off the boat with a suitcase or two hung up our clothing to provide a sense of privacy, though in reality there was none. The only thing I refused to hang up was my white dress with the roses. That, I kept stored away.
Lastly, the men dug three holes in the ground for latrines. I could see by the looks on the girls’ faces that we all had the same idea. Mortifying.
As the men were finishing up, I happened to be putting my things on a cot near a tall, lanky fellow who was tying a rope around a palm tree. He was filthy from head to toe, just like the rest of us, and his scraggly beard must have itched him, ’cause he kept scratching at it.
“Is there anything else we can do to help?” I asked.
He pulled the top tight before turning to look at me. “Just stay out the way as much as you can, I reckon.”
“You know, we don’t actually want to be a burden. We just want to serve as best we can. Just like the rest of you.”
His gruff frown eased a bit. “Well, there ain’t nothing to be done yet, anyhow. There ain’t a single tool in the whole camp. Whoever picked this place out forgot to tell the engineers or the supply depot. Looks like we’ll be building a hospital with our bare hands.”
“God will provide. That’s what my mother would say, anyway.”
He shook his head and chuckled. “Lady, not even God can find this place. We’re on our own.”
The men wished us well and headed back through the trees. I went with Janine and the rest of the nurses to the river, hoping it was deep enough to wash up. We found a beautiful little spot with large rocks that provided a bit of a pool. Vines and shrubs hung around the river, giving us a modest amount of seclusion. At that point, I didn’t care much about modesty any longer, and it seemed, neither did the other girls.
We removed the dingy coveralls, stripping down to our underwear, and waded into the cool, rolling water. I eased across the rocks and found a spot a few feet deep where I could lower myself almost completely under the water. I leaned back against a rock and closed my eyes, letting my thoughts wander back to the creek where I’d played with Henry as a little girl.
Lord, please keep Henry safe. I know he’s in Your hands. If it’s Your will, please bring him here and not to the other hospital. Please keep Joseph safe in Manila. And please be with Matthew, wherever he might be. I pray you’ll watch over him, and that someday, somehow, You’ll heal his broken heart. Please forgive me for my fear and doubt. Forgive me for hiding for so long, and for not trusting in You. I promise I’ll do everything I can to make things right. Just…please…send your Spirit….speak to me again. I ache to hear Your voice. And lastly, Lord, I pray you’ll bring peace to Natalie’s heart. Help her to see the truth.
I kept my eyes closed, hoping for the still, quiet whisper that filled my thoughts when I was younger. But all I heard was the chattering of the other girls. My chest grew heavy, and I did my best not to cry. Why wouldn’t God speak to me anymore? Why couldn’t He forgive me?
I opened my eyes and saw Natalie talking in hushed tones to three other nurses around her. They all looked over at me, and then went back to talking. I sat up and began rinsing my face and body, doing my best to ignore the dread creeping into my heart. I scrubbed away the dirt and grime of the past few days. Whether God would speak to me or not, I’d have to do everything I could to keep Natalie quiet. Even if that young man had been right, and I was completely on my own.
Chapter Nine
Matthew
December 27, 1941
I stood on the western bank of the creek that snaked along beside our camp at Cabcaben, looking through a break in the dense mangrove trees at the sky across the bay turning various shades of pink. If I were standing there at any other time, even just a few weeks before, it would have been a beautiful sight. But the once pristine skyline I’d observed on the President Coolidge as it had sailed into Manila Bay was now black with smoke. The Japanese continued to bomb it to pieces every day. I’d heard from a first lieutenant in communications that the nurses were being evacuated to various jungle hospitals on Bataan and Corregidor, and I prayed with all my heart that Ruby had been evacuated with them.
Of course, she’d never been one to do anything the way I thought she should. She’d have some valiant reason to stay behind no doubt, some poor soul who needed saving. Perhaps if I hadn’t been so harsh with her, or if I had tried harder to convince her to go into hiding… I had to chuckle to myself before the thought took hold. She wouldn’t have done what I wanted her to do, no matter the circumstances. If I’d learned anything from my experiences with Ruby, it was that my best course of action was to pray. So I bowed my head, closed my eyes, and searched for God’s presence in the turmoil and doubt surrounding me.
Lord, I know You are with me every second of every day, just as You’ve been with Ruby all this time. Keep her safe. Help me to forgive. Give me peace as I work to save the lives of as many of my brothers as I can. Give me courage to face the enemy when the time comes. And may I honor You with my life, or my death, whatever Your path may be.
I opened my eyes and soaked up the peace that came over me. When I felt ready, I headed across the stream and up the path to the camp I shared with members of the Navy engineers, other army engineers, a few pilots who’d lost their planes in the bombings at Clark Field, and a communications unit who’d set up a station near the airfield we were building for the fighter planes and bombers that were expected to land soon all over the Bataan peninsula.
I found Doug seated on a large rock outside our tent. He puffed on a cigarette and stared off into the jungle. “You all right?” I asked.
“Oh sure,” he said. “Just watching a monkey run off with my lighter. I’m thinking about shooting him when he comes back around.” He peered up at me. “You get things straightened out with God today?”
“I reckon.”
“So is He gonna get us some reinforcements up here and wrap up this war in a few days?”
“I don’t rightly know. He don’t exactly listen to my suggestions about things.”
He pushed himself up, groaning with the effort. “Well, let’s head over to the communications station and ask ’em if they know anything. I’m sure they don’t, but it’ll give me something to complain about.”
We made our way along the path that wound down toward the main road where the radio had been set up. A fellow by the name of Ron Gunner was manning the radio. He was another displaced pilot who’d been conscripted into a job he’d never been trained for. But like most everyone else, he was picking it up fast. Doug and I found Ron sitting under a group of mango trees, listening intently to the radio.
“What’s the news?” Doug asked.
Ron held up a finger and leaned in closer to the speaker. I couldn’t make out a darn thing. Just sounded like waves of static. But he seemed to hear something exciting, as his bushy eyebrows shot up like a rocket. “Some guys over at Navy headquarters are saying there’s a convoy heading this way. I’ve been trying to get details.”
“I wouldn’t hold my breath,” I said. “There’s been a convoy on the way for over a week now.”
Ron pulled his headset off his ears. “I’m just telling you what I heard.”
“All I know,” Doug said, “is that MacArthur better get this mess organized and figured out soon. I’m so hungry I could eat a carabao all by myself. The filthy animals.”
> Ron laughed and shook a cigarette from the pack he’d pulled out of his pocket. He placed it on his lips and then offered the pack to me. I waved him off. “No thanks.”
“You don’t smoke?” He looked downright shocked. “Well, I don’t think I ever met a soldier that didn’t smoke.”
I tapped my chest. “Well, now you have. T.B. when I was in high school. Nasty stuff.”
Ron grunted and offered a cigarette to Doug, then pocketed the pack and whipped out a lighter. “Say, you boys heading over to the hospital nearby? I heard they’re asking for engineers to help out for a couple of days.”
“We’re fixing up the revetments over by the airstrip,” Doug answered.
“You say it’s a hospital?” I asked.
He nodded. “Got a bunch of doctors and nurses out there with no actual hospital put together yet. There’s a crew of Navy and Army engineers heading over there at first light.”
“You know where it is?” I asked.
“Sure! It’s only a couple of kilometers from here.”
I nodded at Doug. “We’re volunteering to go. I need to see if Ruby’s there.”
Doug frowned but didn’t protest. I hadn’t said much about Ruby, but I’d made it clear I felt responsible for her. “I reckon we ought to go find the Captain and see about joining up with ’em,” he said.
We both reached down and shook Ron’s hand before heading back into the jungle. I couldn’t help but get my hopes up, even though I knew it was a long shot. I kept up a silent string of prayers all the way back to base camp, hoping I’d be able to find Ruby. I had to make things right with her. I had no idea what that meant for us. Still, a man could hope, and in this situation, it was about all a man could do.
December 28, 1941
The next day Doug and I joined three trucks of engineers and rode two kilometers along the coastal road to what was supposed to be the location of a hospital. But it would’ve barely qualified as a rudimentary camp. The trucks themselves hardly made it through the heavy jungle foliage. Once we arrived at the campsite and unloaded, I immediately scanned the groups of tents for the nurses. But I couldn’t see any females at all.
“This is going to be a hospital?” Doug asked.
I took in the scant number of small tents with groups of doctors, medics, and orderlies seated together on the ground. They were eating from mess kits, which meant they hadn’t even set up a kitchen yet. I knew food would be a top priority. “Looks like we’ll be starting from scratch.”
As the rest of the engineers unloaded the tools and equipment we’d brought, I stepped over to a group of scraggly medics nearby just finishing up their breakfast. “Any of you fellas know where the nurses are?”
Every one of them chuckled. “You just got here! Already looking for a good time?”
My face heated up, causing more laughter. He pointed with his fork. “I believe they set up quarters over by the river yesterday. Shouldn’t be too far to walk.”
I thanked him and rejoined Doug, who was listening to Captain Prescott get an earful of information from a haggard-looking group of doctors. Prescott nodded and frowned, holding up his hands to silence the men. “All right, all right. I can see for myself there’s a load of work to be done right away. Let’s get a preliminary plan in place and get moving. This place’ll be overrun with patients before you know it.” He turned to face the group of engineers behind him. “Men, let’s get the equipment in order immediately. I want to have a meeting with the entire camp—doctors, nurses, staff, everyone—at oh nine hundred.” He pulled a gold watch from his breast pocket. “That’s in twenty minutes.”
I took the opportunity to slide away and search for Ruby, heading in the direction the man had pointed earlier and literally stumbling onto a path that snaked through vines, creepers, and bamboo. After a few minutes of walking, I heard the splashing of water, and the higher pitch of female voices. Up ahead of me was a string of women’s clothing blocking off a section of jungle. I noticed several nightgowns among the clothing, and feeling uneasy, I realized I was most likely intruding into their personal space.
I cleared my throat and called out, “Excuse me, ladies?”
The chatter stopped, and six female faces appeared over the top of the skimpy clothing barrier. When they saw me, several of them smiled.
“My goodness, I wasn’t expecting company.”
“Better liven up, girls. We got a fella calling.”
“Why, I haven’t even combed out my hair properly!”
I smiled back at them and shoved my hands in my pockets. “I’m looking for a friend of mine. You ladies wouldn’t happen to know anyone by the name Grace Miller, now would you?”
Another face popped up. It was Natalie, and my stomach knotted. “Matthew? Is that you?” she said.
Her face disappeared, and she hurried around the barrier. The joy on her face only increased my anxiety. I did my best to hide it. “Why, Natalie! I had no idea you’d be here. What a pleasant surprise.”
She threw her arms around my neck, so I hugged her in return. “I was so worried about you!” she said. “I thought for sure they sent you off somewhere dangerous, and I might never see you again. Are you here to help with the hospital?”
“Yes. I came with some other engineers to get things set up.” I stole a quick glance around and didn’t see Ruby. But I did notice several pairs of eyes on us from around the barrier. “Listen, can we talk for just a minute? Somewhere a little more…um, private?”
She looked back at the other girls and giggled. “Excuse us, ladies. We need to be alone.”
We walked several feet away into the brush and stopped behind some large palm leaves. I knew this wasn’t going to be fun, but I needed to be honest with her. I’d avoided going back to Stotsenburg in the hopes that she’d forget about me as time wore on. But I could see from the expression on her face she was expecting much more.
When we stopped walking, she slid up against me and kissed me before I could say a word. I did my best to be polite and let her finish. Then I pulled her shoulders back and forced a smile. “I, uh, wasn’t expecting to see you.”
Her expression fell. “Well, you seem almost disappointed.”
“Listen, I need to be honest with you. I don’t think we’re…well, wanting the same things. I wasn’t looking for anything serious, and when I met you, I had no idea…I mean, Ru—Grace and I have this history, and I had no idea she was here. And I need to get things straightened out with her before I can…I mean, I thought she was dead. I never…”
My garbled explanation was going terribly; I could tell from the tears welling up in her eyes. But to Natalie’s credit, she seemed to be making the effort to take the news well. “I understand,” she said. “You need time to properly end things with Grace. You never closed the book with her, and you don’t want to start anything new until you’ve done so.”
I ran my hand through my hair and rubbed the back of my neck, trying to think of a better way of saying this. “Sort of,” was all I could manage. “I just…is Grace here?”
“Sure,” she said. “But I haven’t seen her this morning.”
“There’s a meeting for the whole camp starting in a few minutes. I really wanted to talk to her beforehand. Looks like it’ll have to wait.”
“Maybe she’s already there,” Natalie said. “I’ll walk with you.”
I paused, knowing I should try one last time to make sure she understood. “Natalie, I hope you know I never meant to lead you on or anything. I really do like you—”
“Hey, I understand,” she said. “Everything’s crazy right now. I don’t know how anyone’s thinking about anything but surviving at this point. You get things straightened out with Grace. I’ll be here when you’re ready.” Her gaze was steady and I could only hope she’d taken in what I’d said.
We walked back to the path, where other nurses were making their way to camp. I kept an eye out for Ruby as we walked, but I didn’t see her. Natalie walked beside me, f
illing me in on their trip across the bay. I only half listened, until she got to the part where their boat was bombed. I stopped and stared at her in shock.
“Did everyone make it off the boat all right?” I asked.
“Oh yes. We all just made it into foxholes. But most of our belongings went down with the ship. I’m afraid I don’t even have a dress to wear, or my letters from my family, or…anything.”
Her voice cracked, and I instinctively put an arm over her shoulder. “I’m so sorry. But I’m sure everything will be all right soon.”
“I don’t think it will.” Tears slipped down her cheeks, and she swiped them away. “I think…we’re all going to die out here.”
“Come on,” I said, pulling her into a hug. “Don’t think that way. We have to stay positive.”
As I hugged her, I glanced around over the top of her head, and finally I saw Ruby. She walked out of the brush from the same path Natalie and I had just come from. She must’ve been only a short distance behind us. She stopped when she saw me, a flash of relief coming over her face.
I let go of Natalie. “I’m sorry, but I just saw Grace. I really do need to speak with her.”
Natalie sniffed and nodded. I started toward Ruby, but already her expression had changed. As I neared, I realized she was looking past me, back at Natalie, and her eyes told me everything. I’d already hurt her, and I hadn’t said a word.
***
“I’m so glad you’re here,” I started, but before I could get anything else out, Captain Prescott called everyone to order. I lowered my voice to a whisper. “I really need to talk to you.”
Ruby crossed her arms and turned to her left to face Captain Prescott. “Not now,” she whispered.
“I need to apologize. I shouldn’t have acted the way I did back at Fort Stotsenburg.”
She didn’t say anything, just stood there staring at Captain Prescott as he commended the leaders for picking a spot so well hidden. I did my best to listen to him as well.
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