I turned my attention off food and went back to caring for the patients in my ward. I stopped after every four men and sat down for just a moment to replenish my energy. During one of my stops, I saw a young sergeant looking at me with a concerned expression. “You all right, Miss Grace?”
I nodded, ashamed at my weakness in front of these brave men. That very sergeant had had both of his legs removed at the knees just the day before, and here he was, worried about me. I pushed myself up to standing, determined to go at least five or six more men before resting again. But the rush of planes overhead sent the leaves above me waving in all directions. Two or three more swooped down low, and gunfire broke out. A bomb exploded so close, I heard nurses and patients screaming in fear.
I dove under the closest bed and wrapped my hands around my head. Several more explosions shook the ground, and I could’ve sworn I was lifted off the ground a bit. Dear God, have mercy! My heart pounded in my ears nearly as loudly as the gunfire above me. With a crash, a large chunk of shrapnel fell through the trees about thirty feet from the ward, ricocheting into branches and thudding to the ground.
Peering out from under the bed, I saw that same sergeant looking down at me. Our eyes met, and I realized he had no way of taking cover. He was just lying in that bed, exposed to whatever may fall upon him. What was I doing? Wasn’t I the same person who’d run across the Calhoun’s field with a tornado coming right at me? I’d been terrified that day too. But I’d realized God was calling me into the storm, and that even if He took my life, there was no place I’d rather be than in the storm with Jesus.
I crawled out from under that bed and went right back to doing my job. I was still that same girl; I just had to choose to go into the storm. I wasn’t going to hide anymore, wasn’t going to run. And as the bombs continued to fall, I continued to check dressings, administer morphine, and offer encouragement to those men.
When the raid finally stopped, I allowed myself to take a seat for just a few minutes. Several of my patients offered me smiles, and one sent me a thumbs-up. I smiled and relished the respect in their eyes. In fact, it was nice to respect myself for a change.
And right there I decided that life was just too precarious to waste time being afraid. I’d give Natalie some of my food, ’cause even I could see the girl’s health and peace of mind were hanging on by a thread. But there was no way I was going to lose Matthew again. If all we had left together was the time it would take for the Japs to overrun us, then I wasn’t going to waste another minute of it appeasing Natalie.
Matthew
Cabcaben was the only airstrip on the Bataan peninsula without a single airplane. Not one. But we maintained the field and revetments with no doubt that U.S. planes were soon to come. So one evening after mess, when I’d made my way from camp back down to the field, and I heard from Ron that planes were expected that evening, I couldn’t help the relief and joy that came over me. And I wasn’t alone.
The ground crew seated around in small groups throughout the bamboo thickets buzzed with excitement. It was getting dark, so I couldn’t make out who was speaking, but I listened as they shared their elation with one another.
“Hey, Frank! That confirms that rumor we heard from the Navy ’bout the convoy coming!”
“How many planes are on the way?”
“Don’t know.”
“Boy howdy! Things are gonna start turning around now!”
It took several minutes for the excitement to die down, and conversation turned to MacArthur. Some of the fellas seemed bitter, reveling in rumors of MacArthur cowering in the tunnels beneath Corregidor, even using his nickname, Dugout Doug. Others still clung to their faith in him, defending his decision to send untrained Filipino units to face the Japanese onslaught on the beaches of Northern Luzon. I couldn’t care less about MacArthur. He might as well be on the moon for all the good it did us each day.
While another fella was speaking, we heard the low rumble of planes in the distance, and everyone fell silent, probably out of fear at first. But as that beautiful sound grew louder and closer, we knew they were American. Then we jumped up and ran for the airstrip. I watched and listened with my heart racing. As I peered into the dark sky, a plane appeared from the south toward the bay. The lights flashed. The runway lit up with the pitiful field lights we’d installed.
The plane descended like a dark, gliding bird, touching down and rolling to a stop. Then another plane appeared from the same direction. The ground crews ran to the first, rolling it into a revetment as the second landed, followed by a third. Another fella standing next to me cursed and shook his head.
“They’re just old P-40s! What good’s that gonna do anybody?”
As it turned out, the planes were beat-up P-40s that had survived the attack on Clark Field and had been in service over at Bataan airstrip, just three kilometers away. And although it was nice to know there’d finally be some defense at the Cabcaben field, my hopes for a turning tide were dashed. I returned to camp with a heavy heart, wondering if we truly were on our own. What if America never sent help? What if no one was coming?
I crawled under my mosquito net onto my cot and lay there for hours, unable to sleep, yet exhausted in body and spirit. My stomach cramped with hunger. My skin itched from relentless bug bites. And my chest ached every time my thoughts turned to Ruby. I lay there that night and thought of home. I thought of Mother and Mary, of the beautiful niece I’d never met, and I wondered if I ever would. I might actually die in this jungle, I thought. Even the sight of Father would be more bearable than this.
I wanted to pray, but I couldn’t put words to my feelings. My spirit cried out to God, begging for help and understanding. I could feel the ache leaving me and floating up to heaven, and I knew He heard my wordless cries. Guide me, Lord, I finally managed. Fill me. Anchor me. You are my rock and my salvation. But I am sinking. Please, give me some sign of hope.
I managed a small amount of fitful sleep that night, and awoke the following morning to the blasts of bombs a few kilometers away. Antiaircraft guns exploded, and bullets streaked across the sky. My head pounded. I couldn’t even manage enough fear to climb out of my cot and take cover. I just lay there and listened to the sounds of our approaching doom.
When it was over, I made my way to the mess area and found Doug waiting in line. “Rough night?” he asked.
“A bit.”
“I heard about the planes.”
I nodded. “Not sure what good three measly planes will do, but it’s three more than we had yesterday.”
“That’s the spirit,” he said.
We inched through the line, grabbed our meager breakfast, and headed for a bamboo table on the west side near a group of palm trees. I stopped in my tracks when I saw Henry Graves seated at the table, cutting up with the pilots who’d arrived the night before. He must’ve been telling a whopping good story, ’cause they were enthralled as he finished with an explanation of how he’d outwitted a Jap scout.
I dropped my plate onto the table just as the others burst out laughing. When he saw me, Henry eased himself up and thrust out his hand. “Well! If it ain’t Matthew Doyle!”
I shook his hand and couldn’t help but smile back. “My, you’re looking better than the last time I saw you.”
He pulled up his pants leg and showed off the bright pink scar that was still healing along his calf. “Gonna be a beaut!”
I introduced him to Doug and they shook hands. “Where’d you come from?” I asked.
“Aw, I been down at the beach with the 200th Coast Artillery ever since I could walk. They had me spotting enemy and friendly planes for a while, but seeing as how we ain’t got hardly any friendlies left, they sent me this way to find some more useful work. But what I really need to do is get back in a plane, like these fellas!”
They made a rousing noise in support of his declaration, and Henry grinned from ear to ear. How could he be so happy? Did he have no idea what was going on around us?
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p; I dropped into a chair as the three pilots said their goodbyes and headed for the airfield. Then I shoved the tiny breakfast into my mouth. It was gone way too quickly, and my stomach growled for more. I’d about had all I could take, and I flipped my fork onto my plate with a huff.
“What in God’s name are we doing here, anyway?” I said. “So what if the Japs get the Philippines? What difference does it make?”
To my left, Doug stared at me like I’d lost my mind. Across from me, Henry’s playful smile faded from his lips. They looked at me and at each other with the kind of awkwardness that comes when a teacher asks you a question that you don’t know the answer to, in front of the whole class.
Then, as if he hadn’t heard me at all, Henry leaned across the table and lowered his voice. “Say, you two want a real treat? Come with me.”
I wasn’t in the mood for playing around, and I told Henry as much. But he wouldn’t take no for an answer, so Doug and I followed him into the dense part of the jungle to the south of camp. I noticed his limp, but I also noticed that it didn’t seem to slow him down much. In fact, he crept through the dangling vines, the thick bamboo shoots, and mango groves with an agility that surprised me. How did he have so much energy?
Once we were away from the noise of camp, he looked back at Doug and me and motioned for us to keep quiet as we followed, not that we were making any noise anyway. Doug gave me a quizzical look, and I shrugged in response. What else was there to do at the moment? We tiptoed through the brush a few feet behind Henry until he froze. He motioned for us to stay still. Then he pounced on a huge lizard I hadn’t even seen beneath a palm tree.
A thick tail thrashed around his arms as he turned around and held the creature out proudly. “Now we can feast!”
Doug bunched his face up. “Ugh, please don’t tell me you plan on cooking that poor thing.”
“I most certainly do,” Henry said, shifting his hold on the lizard’s neck then flinging it around in a quick, fatal circle. “Just like a chicken!”
“You’re…serious?” I asked.
“I make a mean iguana stew.”
My stomach cramped again as if to remind me that I was in no position to be choosy. “All right then, let’s make some stew.”
***
Turned out, iguana stew wasn’t half bad. And with Henry around to capture the smaller, more interesting critters roaming through our camping area each day, my stomach eased up a bit. Not only that, having Henry around brought a lift to my spirits as well. We reminisced over strange stews and rice mixed with chewy meat that I didn’t dare ask about. We talked about playing ball together back in high school, games we remembered, players who’d impressed us, Alabama football, and professional baseball. It made home seem a little more real, a little more attainable.
On Saturday evening, after we finished listening to the radio program from San Francisco, we sat around with Doug shooting the breeze for a while, speculating on what was to come from all this. As darkness fell, Doug bid us goodnight, and Henry finally put on his serious face. He leaned forward onto his elbows and lowered his voice.
“Listen, I gotta apologize for the way I handled everything with Ruby. I know I could’ve done better by you, and for that I’m truly sorry. You gotta know she never wanted to hurt you, and she loves you like crazy.”
My heart thumped a little harder in my chest. “I have to be honest, I didn’t take the news so well. And I was pretty upset with both of you for a while. But once I thought about it, I realized that I probably would’ve done the same thing. And I’m grateful to you for getting her out of that danger.”
“Looks like I brought her to a whole other kind of danger, though. I have to admit, this wasn’t one of my best plans.”
I managed a quiet chuckle. “No, I reckon in hindsight, it was a pretty poor plan on all our parts.” We settled into quiet contemplation over that for a few minutes before I spoke again. “You want to go see her? I’m heading over to the hospital tomorrow afternoon.”
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
I felt better after clearing the air, and that night I was able to get a decent amount of sleep. Henry and I set out the following day for the hospital, catching a ride with a truck taking supplies in that direction. We bounced along the road with our eyes on the sky, but we didn’t spot any Japanese planes. I realized that the Japs hadn’t bombed us at all that day, which had to be a first. Maybe that was why I felt more at peace. Or maybe it was reuniting with Henry. Could’ve been a combination of factors. But as we arrived at Jungle Hospital #2, I felt for the first time a sense of hope that things might just work out all right for all of us.
We climbed out of the back of the truck amid a cloud of dust and made our way toward the mess area where the nurses usually ate. It wasn’t quite time for mess yet, but I was hoping to talk to Ruby beforehand and finally straighten out all the vexation between us. I walked around a couple of wards, trying not to look too closely at the broken men scattered about. They didn’t even have a tent over them. Just jungle covering and mosquito nets.
Henry stopped to shake hands with someone he knew, so I turned to look around for Ruby. The hospital had grown so large; I wasn’t sure where to look for her. While Henry laughed with the fella behind me, I stopped another nurse walking by that looked familiar and asked her if she knew where I might find Grace Miller. She shrugged her drooping shoulders and pointed east. “I think she’s over in ward twelve today. But I’m not sure.”
She wiped her hand across her brow, smudging a little dirt on her forehead, and made an attempt at a friendly smile, which I appreciated. “Thanks,” I told her. “How much longer till dinner?”
She glanced down at a thin silver wristwatch. “About thirty minutes.”
I turned and tugged on Henry’s sleeve. “Let’s get moving.”
Henry said goodbye and fell into step beside me. “It’s a cryin’ shame what’s happening to these boys. I had no idea there were so many.”
“I don’t understand this myself,” I said. “I know God has a purpose in everything, even the things we don’t understand, but this is…this is so far beyond my comprehension.”
Henry dropped his head as we made our way past several more wards. I hadn’t seen him look so serious in a long time. But his face lit up when Ruby called out his name and took off running toward us. She flew into him, throwing her arms around his neck, crying and laughing at the same time. He swung her up off the ground and held onto her for a few minutes while her sobs continued. I couldn’t help that part of me that ached for her to be so happy to see me too.
She finally released him, and dove right into questioning him on where he’d been and how his leg was healing. He filled her in, just as he’d done for me. Then Janine came running to him as well. She was a little more reserved than Ruby, but it was clear she was thrilled to see him. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and winked over at me. “If you’ll excuse us for a few minutes, we need to get reacquainted.”
I smiled in return and watched them head behind the records shack. Giggles floated out from behind the wall before it went quiet. I turned to Ruby, who still held her smile, but for the first time I actually saw her, and it was frightening. Her face was pale, and her eyes had dark circles beneath them. Her coveralls hung so loose on her that it looked more like her shoulders were a set of hangers. She didn’t look well at all.
I stepped a little closer and put a hand on her shoulder, feeling the bone like a small baseball in my hand. “Ruby, are you okay?”
She didn’t pull away, which I’d half expected. Instead, she let out a deep sigh as if she’d been punctured. “I’m just so tired,” she said. “I can barely hold myself up.”
“Let’s go find a place to rest,” I said.
“No, I have two more patients to finish up with. Then I can break for mess.”
“Can we please go somewhere quiet and talk as soon as you can? It’s important.”
She met my gaze, but dropped her head quickly an
d looked around. “I want to talk to you too. Just…not here.” She spoke as if she were arranging some secret meeting, as if she were afraid of something. Or someone. “Do you know where the dental clinic is?”
I nodded, trying to remember where we’d built it.
“Go through the small grove of mango trees off to the side, and then follow the small path that winds back toward the river. Wait for me on the path.”
“Sure, but why all the secrecy? What’s going on?”
“I promise, I’ll tell you everything. Just meet me there in ten minutes, okay?” Her eyes darted around again. I was starting to get nervous myself.
She hurried back to her ward, and I headed off in the direction of the dental clinic. I hadn’t made it far before I heard the familiar voice of Natalie calling out to me from across the clearing. I stopped and turned toward her as she made a beeline for me. She was the last person I wanted to see at the moment.
“Matthew! When did you get here?”
“Just now,” I said. “I’ve got a few things to take care of before mess.”
“Oh, well stick around this time and let’s do something. One of the medics set up a real wood dance floor just yesterday and we’re gonna be playing some music this evening.”
I forced a smile and pulled my arm out from under her hand. “Well that sounds swell. I don’t think I’ll be able to make it tonight, though. Maybe some other time, all right?”
Her expression fell, which made me feel like the biggest jerk. Hadn’t I already told her I wasn’t ready for any kind of dating? Why couldn’t she just accept that? “Listen,” I said, glancing down at my watch. “I gotta run. I have a meeting I need to get to. I’ll see you later.”
I strode away as quick as I could so there’d be no doubt as to my intentions.
Chapter Twelve
Ruby
February 15, 1942
I kept an eye out for Natalie or any of her friends as I made my way through the camp toward the dental clinic. I hadn’t seen her since breakfast that morning, but she had a knack for showing up whenever Matthew was around. I stood next to the building trying to look like I had a reason for being there; taking one last sweeping gaze around to make sure no one was watching, I ducked into the mangroves.
Saving Grace: A Novel (Healing Ruby Book 3) Page 17