It was at that point that panic shot through me. “I don’t have a ring.”
Matthew stuck out his hand again, and Henry placed another ring in his palm. I broke my gaze with Matthew for a moment to turn and look over my shoulder at a grinning Henry. “Where did you—”
Matthew turned me back to face him and put the ring in my hand. “Come on,” he said. “Worry about that later.”
I took the ring and slid it onto his fourth finger. It was a better fit, but still a bit large even for him. Sergeant Watters began again, and I repeated the rest of the vows.
“With this ring, I thee wed, and all my worldly goods I thee endow. In sickness and in health, in poverty, or in wealth, until death do us part.”
I hadn’t wanted to say the part about death. With so much suffering around us each day, I was afraid to even mention it. But Matthew had insisted on keeping everything as traditional and official as possible, so I’d gone along with it. In the end, the statement came and went along with the others, and I forgot all about it as soon as Sergeant Watters pronounced us husband and wife.
Throwing my arms around Matthew’s neck, I kissed him like it might be the last. He pulled my waist into his and kissed me in return, until Sergeant Watters cleared his throat. Matthew smiled down at me before turning to thank Sergeant Watters. They shook hands quickly while I turned to Janine and hugged her neck.
When we pulled apart, I could see she’d been crying too, and we had a good laugh at each other. As Sergeant Watters headed back toward camp, Henry wrapped an arm around Janine and swept her into an embrace.
Matthew’s arms slid around my waist from behind, and he rested his chin on my shoulder. “You ready to do a little bit of hiking?”
I giggled as his scruffy beard tickled my neck. “Sure,” I said, laughing. “But it’s not too far, is it?”
He turned my body into his, kissing me deeply. “No, Mrs. Doyle,” he breathed, sending chills down my arm. “It’s not too far.”
Matthew
I lay on the blanket I’d spread beneath a canopy of palm leaves, watching the sunset paint the sky. My arm was tucked tightly around Ruby’s waist, her back against my bare chest. I rested my head in my hand and looked over her shoulder as she ran her fingers up and down my arm. It had been so easy to get lost in these moments together and forget about the horrors taking place nearby. For a little while, we were just two people all alone in the world, becoming one body, one heart.
All I could do was think about how long I’d waited to get to this very day. How many times had I dreamed of holding her, only to awaken to a world where she was gone? Some part of me wondered if this too was a dream. If so, I hoped I’d never awaken.
I kissed her bare shoulder and turned her onto her back. She smiled up at me, sending heat through my body again, despite feeling completely spent. “What are you thinking about?” she asked.
I leaned down and kissed her nose, then her cheek, her ear. “That I can’t believe this is real. That after all the time I spent dreaming of you, you’re really mine.”
She pressed her hand against my cheek. “I don’t deserve you. Not after everything I did. I should’ve never left.”
I pressed my finger to her lips. “Shh. None of that matters now. All that matters is that we’re together.” I leaned down and spoke into her ear. “And you know what the best part is?”
“What?”
“Now, you have to do what I say.”
“Excuse me?” Her grin betrayed her lame attempt at anger.
“It’s in the Bible. God says so. You have to submit to me.”
“I see.” She narrowed her eyes. “I should’ve known you had an ulterior motive. Well, you can forget that.” She moved to stand up, but I rolled her onto her back and gently pinned her beneath me. She yelped and giggled.
“Oh, no you don’t,” I said. I touched my lips to hers. “You’re mine forever now. Don’t you know that?”
She sobered and met my gaze. “You promise?”
“I already did. Do you want to hear it again?” She nodded. I grinned, and began kissing her all over as I repeated my vows. “I, Matthew…take thee, Ruby…to be my wife…forever…and ever…and ever.”
I didn’t want our time together to end, but I knew I’d have to get her back to camp before dark, and there were important matters to discuss. So despite myself I pulled back from her lips, and pushed up to a seated position. I reached out for her hand. “Come on, I can’t think straight when you’re looking at me like that. Let’s sit up and talk for a few minutes.”
“Uh oh,” she said, sitting up and crawling over beside me. “This sounds serious.” She crossed her legs Indian-style, and straightened her back, her eyes wide and bright. Draped only in her camisole, she was radiant, and my heart pounded just looking at her.
“Ruby, I need you to make me a promise.”
“But I already did,” she said, grinning. “I, Ruby, take thee, Matthew—”
“I’m serious, baby.” I took her hand, and she stopped. “You have to swear to me that if the chance comes for you to escape this island, no matter what happens, you’ll take it.”
She dropped her gaze and picked at the grass beside her legs. “Have you heard from Mike? Is that what this is about?”
“No. We haven’t heard from him. I’ve just been thinking about things. And it will be a lot easier to get you off the island than it will be for me. You’re a civilian. An officer’s wife. I’m a soldier. And I have a duty. I might not be able to go with you.”
Abruptly she stood, folded her arms over her chest, and walked several paces away. “I know what you’re getting at. And I’m telling you right now, I won’t leave you here.”
I figured she’d say something like that. That’s my Ruby. “Things are different now. You’re my wife. And it’s my job to protect you. To provide for you. To give my life for you if I have to. And I wasn’t kidding around before. I know it’s not something that comes naturally to you, but I hope you’ll pray about it and see that I’m right. We’re married now. And as your husband, I have to make difficult decisions—”
She shook her head vehemently and turned away. “No. I’m not leaving you again. Not like before. Just because I married you doesn’t mean I don’t have a say in my own life. And leaving you was the dumbest thing I ever did. I won’t do it again.”
I rose to my feet and walked over to her, turning her to face me. “This is nothing like before. Like I said, you’re mine forever. And I’m yours. Nothing can come between us like that ever again. No matter what happens, even if we’re separated for a while, I’ll find you. God will always bring us back together. I know it. I feel in it my deepest spirit. He will keep our hearts together. One heart. One flesh. You just have to trust Him…and me.”
I cupped her sweet face in my hands and kissed her forehead, hoping she’d agree. But her eyes hardened, and I knew what was coming. “I will make you a promise.” She pushed her finger into my chest. “I won’t leave you again, Matthew. Not ever.”
Ruby
March 10, 1942
After the rush and excitement of our secret wedding, Matthew and I had a difficult time going more than a day or so without seeing each other. I discovered Henry had somehow found a burned-out truck on the side of a road, traded for parts, and fixed it enough to run. He and Matthew had been driving that beat-up truck through the jungle nearly every evening after the four-thirty mess to meet Janine and me at the river.
For now, the fighting appeared to have reached an unsettled impasse and the Japanese were hardly even making a sound, except for the occasional distant bombings, so stealing away for an evening rendezvous wasn’t difficult. In fact, Janine and I learned that we weren’t the only ones doing so when we’d happened upon a young soldier and a nurse named Margaret not too far from where we’d been meeting our husbands.
Margaret had blushed deeply and straightened her clothing. She’d stammered an excuse, but Janine and I were just glad she was too emb
arrassed to realize we were out doing the same thing. In fact, all over the camp, people were doing their best to forget their troubles and make a bit of merriment. There were nightly gatherings at various quarters throughout the camp, and with the substantial break in the conflict, the atmosphere bordered on a giddy euphoria.
Every few nights or so, some of the male doctors and medics tacked a blanket over a bamboo floor. Someone had a vinyl record player and had managed to get hold of a few records. Couples would dance long into the night, despite their exhaustion. I reckoned, even for the sick and wounded, a good bit of dancing did the soul a whole heap of good.
All this newfound jollity in the evenings meant it was easier to stay out longer and go unnoticed. I found myself staying later and later wrapped in Matthew’s arms, returning to my bed well after midnight most of the time. Many of the girls would be asleep, but some flashed Janine and me knowing grins. Thankfully, Natalie was never one of them. She seemed to be growing more and more unwell, and she retired to bed each evening before dark.
Each morning, Natalie would approach me at the breakfast table, and I’d hand her everything but my toast. We didn’t say much to each other. But one morning, she sat down across from me and launched into a long description of all her medical troubles, claiming a touch of malaria—which I knew to be impossible since it would have put her on her back already—and a bout with dysentery. She even suspected she had beriberi, which was entirely possible given the state of our nutrition.
“My stomach hurts all the time,” she said as she shoveled another bite of my oatmeal into her mouth. Her face was pale and damp with sweat. Her eyes had begun to bug out just a bit, and sometimes when she was eating, I could see her gums had been bleeding. As much as I couldn’t stand her, I actually felt sorry for her.
“Maybe you should ask Mrs. Fincher for a few days off to rest,” I said. “We’re not as busy now anyway. I’m sure she’d let you.”
She shook her head. “I’m not going to let the other girls think I can’t pull my weight around here.” She dug her spoon further into the oatmeal and groaned. “Oh, that’s just disgusting. There’s worms in here!”
She pushed the cup away from her, and I did my best not to smile. “You should definitely eat it, then. The cooking sterilized them, and you probably need the protein.”
She glared at me. “What I need is some quinine.”
“Aren’t you taking your daily dose?”
“Yes, but the ration isn’t even half of what we should be taking. I need more.”
“Don’t you think the soldiers should be getting what they need first?”
Natalie’s eyes narrowed. “I think those of us in the military should be getting it first.” Then she leaned forward onto the table. “You need to give me your quinine. You shouldn’t even be getting any. You’re a civilian. And a criminal at that.”
“I’m not giving you my quinine. I’ll get malaria for sure!”
“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you and your little friend sneaking off every night. What are you two doing? Are you stealing food? Medicine? You certainly look healthier than the rest of us, and there’s no way that should be happening.”
I leaned onto the table as well. “Because you’re taking half my food, right?”
“I knew it. You are stealing! Admit it!”
“I am not. And I won’t give you my quinine. You’ll have to take the same amount as everyone else.”
She sat back and studied me. “Is that so? Well, maybe once Mrs. Fincher hears that a convicted murderer is in our midst, sneaking around and stealing supplies, I’m sure she’ll agree that the quinine should not be wasted on the likes of you.”
I wasn’t about to give in, but I had no idea what might happen if Natalie told Mrs. Fincher about me. Although I’d sworn I’d take no more of Natalie’s blackmail, now Janine was involved and would be linked to me, as well as Matthew and Henry. “Fine,” I said, sighing as I gave in against my better judgment. “You can have it.” And I pushed away from the table so I wouldn’t have to look at her hideous face again.
***
Later that evening, Janine, Matthew, Henry, and I decided to go for a swim in the river near our meeting place. The days were getting hotter and hotter, and the evenings were sticky with humidity. The cool water was invigorating, although my stomach turned at the sight of the mosquitos dancing on the surface, knowing that my body’s defenses would soon be lowered without my daily dose of quinine. Afterward, Janine and Henry stole away for a while, and Matthew and I lay sprawled on the riverbank, my head on his chest, our legs entwined. I listened to his heartbeat and ran my fingers along his smooth chest.
I could never have imagined that I could love him more, but somehow I did. Every moment—with every kiss, every touch of his hands, every prayer we shared—a new bud of my love bloomed from a branch inside of me. It was wonderful, and yet terrifying at the same time. He’d tried nearly every day to get me to promise I’d leave him if I had the chance. Even thinking of that scenario made my chest tighten with fear.
As if he felt my body tense, Matthew took my hand in his. “What’s on your mind?” he said.
The bombings had started again. Only a few in the distance today, but enough to remind me of what was to come. “This isn’t going to last, is it? This lull in the fighting. The Japanese are still coming.”
“They’re still coming,” he replied quietly. “Do you still have the gun I gave you?”
I sat up quickly. “Matthew…I’m so sorry. I had it when we crossed the bay, but as we were getting off the boat we were attacked. It was hit by a bullet and destroyed.”
He frowned. “Well, at least the bullet didn’t hit you. That’s all that matters. I’ll see if I can get you another one.”
“There’s really no need. I don’t think I could actually shoot anyone.”
He put his finger beneath my chin and tilted my face until I was looking into his eyes. “You can do it. And let’s face it, you may have to. Just breathe and squeeze.” He kissed me and pulled my body tighter into his. “Breathe…and squeeze.”
It felt like our love might swallow us whole right there. I almost wished it would somehow, that we could escape the sickness and the war and the unthinkable threat of approaching troops. If we could exist in only our small bubble, life would be perfect. I wrapped myself around him and willed my mind to forget everything else for the moment. There was no death, no hunger, no gut-wrenching sickness.
Until there was.
***
A week later I awoke and could barely get out of bed. When I stood, my stomach swam, and I ran into the trees to vomit. I couldn’t walk back to my bed, so I sank to the jungle floor and closed my eyes, resting my back against a large tree trunk. Janine found me a few minutes later and helped me back to my bed.
“I need to get to my ward,” I said, forgetting momentarily to which ward I was assigned at present.
“You need to rest,” Janine said. She pressed down on my shoulder when I tried to stand, which was enough to keep me planted where I sat. “I’ll get a doctor to come check you out, but from what I can tell, it looks like you have malaria.”
I wanted to curse Natalie for blackmailing me for my quinine doses, but I was too delirious to form the words in my mind. “No, I can make it. I just need a bit of coffee to get me going. Could you see if there’s any to spare?”
She eyed me with disapproval, but then she stood and helped me to my feet. “I reckon we can go see if there’s any at mess area #3. I heard they had some a few days ago.”
She tried to help me put myself together, but I pushed her hands away. I could brush my own hair. At least, I thought I could. After a few strokes, my arms felt so heavy I couldn’t lift them again. Janine scolded me and grabbed the brush.
She helped me walk slowly to camp, grumbling the whole way that I should’ve stayed in bed. I was thankful to finally make it to the mess area where I could sit down at a table. I was also glad it was a different m
ess area than where Natalie ate breakfast with the other nurses. Maybe I could get enough food down today to get me through the morning.
Janine came back with a small cup of coffee and a plate of oatmeal. I remembered the worms from the week before, and my stomach swam again. I pushed it away and sipped on the coffee instead. It was weak, and it tasted terrible, but I could tell instantly it was exactly what I needed. Feeling a small kick of energy, I told Janine I was fine, even demonstrated I could walk on my own, and headed for my assigned ward.
When I arrived for duty, Roberta Jacobs, the army nurse in charge of the ward, met me with a concerned expression. She stuck her wrist to my forehead and asked me if I was all right. I straightened the best I could and told her I was well enough. I had to admit, she looked pretty ill herself.
“We’ve had three nurses come down with malaria since yesterday,” she said. “All of ’em are laid up. I’d be much obliged if you could hang in there for a while until I can get some help.”
“I’ll do my best,” I said.
She thanked me and made her way back over to a chair near the center of the ward. Then she plopped down and leaned her head back. Closing her eyes, she breathed deeply for a minute, and then abruptly grabbed a bag off the ground and vomited into it.
I steeled myself against the fatigue threatening to take over, and I made my rounds. I had to stop frequently, and I had to sit down with my head between my legs a few times. Once, I noticed Roberta had fastened her arm with a sling and attached it to a table beside her. That seemed to be the only thing holding her up and keeping her from tumbling to the ground.
Near midday, I’d had about all I could take. The heat beat down on me, and I had reached the point where I needed to sit down between every single patient. The men with shredded bodies and missing limbs were actually looking on me with pity. I had begun to shake, and did my best to quell the tremors.
I came to the end of the row where I was working, and I was about to clean the dressing of a young man who’d been sprayed by bullets, when the whole earth swayed beneath me. My vision went dark around the edges, and I felt like I was turning topsy-turvy. My head hit something hard, and pain shot through my neck. Then everything went black.
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