“I can’t take you back to DC Sonny. It’s not safe. I still don’t know exactly who it was who tried to kill you in Albuquerque. I still don’t know who Tom was really working for. Everything I thought was true, no longer is. The reality of it all the moment tom sent you in his place was the moment your life was put into danger. Until I know that you are safe, I won’t let go.”
She was once again staring into my eyes. “I don’t get it. Wouldn’t I be safe in DC at one of the safe houses? Wouldn’t it be faster for you to find things out if you weren’t on the run protecting me? It would be over sooner than later and you could get on with your life.”
I didn’t want to tell her my true thoughts on her safety and going back to DC. I didn’t want to tell her that I didn’t know who I could trust. I wasn’t even sure I could trust Seth at the moment. Her life was too valuable to me. And none of the other things mattered anyway as I had no life to go back to. This was my life. Doing exactly what I was sent to do. Seek, find, protect and sometimes destroy. I kept my mouth shut as I contemplated my answer.
I could tell she was getting frustrated by lack of an answer. “You still haven’t answered me?” Anger rose in her voice as her eyes moved away. “Jack, why then? Why are you taking it upon yourself to protect me? You don’t have to help me. I know this has to be a burden to you!”
The sarcasm suddenly disappeared, and this time the anger came shooting through me. I couldn’t believe that she thought of herself as a burden to me. For such a smart woman, she had no clue, I wanted to wrap my arms around her and hold her until she felt safe. I wanted to run with her to the ends of the earth if it meant she would be safe from all that sought her. “You know very little Sonny. You are far from a burden.” I seethed through my teeth. The anger that came from my tone startled her for just a second and she took a stop back.
“I am not afraid anymore. I want my family to be safe. Just take me to Washington and let it be done.” She walked over to where I was and took the seat next to me. I knew she was scared. She had to be, any other person in the same situation would be hysterical and scared to death. I knew she was, but she hid it well. What irritated me the most was how she could assume I didn’t want to help her. It also irritated me that she wasn’t thinking this all through. Taking her back to Washington would not solve the problem, nor would it make it go away. In all reality, taking her to Washington meant that I would be taking her life away.
I got up from the couch and stood in front of her. Her green eyes grew big with fear. I was mesmerized by the fact that when she cried they turned an even deeper emerald green. My heart melted as I leaned down close to her ear. She sucked in a breath. “I am not going to take you to DC. I am NOT going to let anyone hurt you. Accept it.” I whispered into her ear. My right arm reached under her knees and my left arm around her back. I lifted her effortlessly off the couch and began to carry her to the bedroom. Now under any other circumstances, this would be romantic and I would have loved to strip those awful sweats off her body. But this was not the time or the place. I could hear her heart begin to beat faster and she reached her arms around my neck to hold on.
I walked back to the bedroom and laid her gently on the bed. “Get some sleep Sonny. You had a long day.” She nodded and turned away from me on her side. I walked away from her and into the bathroom to take a shower.
A
My heart was pounding excessively as I heard him walk away from me and walk into the bathroom that was off the bedroom. Once I heard the door close, I turned back around to face the door. I didn’t understand this man at all. I knew he intrigued me and I was eternally grateful for his saving graces, his patience with me and the way he wanted to protect me. But I wanted him to realize he didn’t have to do it. He didn’t have to ruin his perfect life to protect me.
I couldn’t bear the fact of him getting hurt trying to protect me. A pain radiated through my chest as I thought of the Lieutenant who had jumped into harm’s way and flying bullets to save me. The same man who crashed his car, again just to save me. Anyone getting hurt because of me was the last thing I wanted.
What intrigued me the most about Jack was his nature. He appeared to be this hard core tough guy, but this soft side erupted every so often. Back in Albuquerque, he had tried to keep his distance from me. He did not ask me questions about my life, but I found myself telling him everything. He was just that type of person and ironically, I knew nothing of him. What I did know was that he had been hurt deeply by something in his past. That much I had gathered – call it intuition. He was still healing from that and I was interrupting that healing process. My eyes were getting heavy. I was exhausted and I was sure the big white horse pill Jack had given me had something to do with it. Everything was becoming hazy, but it was a welcomed haze. I wanted desperately to wait for him to come out of the bathroom so I could ask him more questions., but my eyes won the battle and before I knew it I was out cold.
J
The hot water brought a welcome relief to the tightness in my shoulders. The tension of today’s events had finally hit me. It didn’t matter how many times I had been shot at or had dove out of the way, at the end of the day it hurt like hell. I was exhausted too, mentally and physically. My brain was still wrapping around how to keep her safe. I saw no other option but to run. I still wasn’t sure where though. Phoenix was safe for now, but it was only time before they figured out where we were.
As I walked out of the bathroom, I knew she was asleep. Her breathing was even and quiet. She looked cold so I grabbed the blanket and put it over her and turned to walk out of the room. I wanted to watch her sleep but I knew she needed to be alone and so did I. I need to plot out our next move. Where we would go? She needed clothes, toiletries, passport. Money was not an object. I knew how to access that. The cover story to get out of the country was a different story.
I walked over to the table to where my cell phone was. It was one that they could not trace. I called an old friend-Jenkins. He would be able to get me some papers quickly and quietly and right now we needed to be invisible and Jenkins could provide that invisibility. He was one of the best and the most expensive. When I had needed to hide witnesses, Jenkins was the one I called. I refused to use the fake passports the government provided me for jobs. They could always track them. Jenkins were untraceable unless you knew the names we would be using. I finished my phone call. He said he could have them ready in about 36 hours, possibly sooner. I could handle that. It would give me enough time to plot out a path.
I laid on the couch letting the exhaustion I now felt hit me. I closed my eyes, not fully intending to sleep, but soon enough the same dream flooded my sub conscious. The water was cold and my body went rigid, but unlike the other dreams, it was calm now. I didn’t have to struggle as hard to reach her hand but I still could not pull myself through the surface into her waiting arms. As I struggled to break through, I could hear her screams, calling out for me to save myself. The water disappeared and I was then on the floor of the gray room with bars. She kneeled at the bars reaching for me, her sobs inconsolable. I tried desperately to move, to pick myself up off the ground but the weight of the wings that were now on my back held me down. It was as if I had died and I was suspended somewhere between heaven and hell, a fallen man with broken wings. I tried to crawl and reach for her, but I couldn’t move. “Alison,” I heard myself scream.
“You need to try,” she screamed stretching as far as she could to reach me.
“Alison,” I heard myself say as I gasped desperately for air. “I’m not worth it.”
I wasn’t sure if it was the sobs of my dreams or the screams of reality that awoke me. But it didn’t matter because both were screams of pure terror. I jumped up off the couch and realized the screams were not a dream. I reached the bedroom in a flash, honestly too fast for human ability and wrapped my arms around her. She buried her face into my chest, looking for comfort. I pulled her in as tight as I could possibly could and kissed the top of her head
. I wasn’t sure how to make her feel safe. All I knew how to do was hold her in my arms. My breathing was almost as heavy as hers and my heart raced right along with hers. I sucked in as much air as I could into my lungs, thankful for the reality and life the air gave me.
I adjusted my body so it was completely on the bed and leaned up against the head board. I took a deep breath in and could smell her freshly washed hair and body. The smell was intoxicating. As if she could tell my need to hold her closer, she shifted her body weight to where she was almost sitting on my lap. She fit perfectly into the crook of my arm and against my chest and held me as tight as I held her. I didn’t want to believe it but it was as comforting to me as I hoped it was for her.
Her breathing slowed and finally she drifted asleep against my chest. I held her most of the night, until I could no longer stand it. Her scent, the feel of her body against mine, it was too much to absorb and the man inside of me, not the protector, but the one who wanted touch every part of her came creeping through again. I moved to slide her off of my chest and her arms tightened around me.
“No, please.” Her voice was quiet and calm, but there was a hint of fear still.
The ache for her was excruciating. It felt as if I had a pallet of bricks on my chest and I wanted so much to roll her over and move. I needed to get myself out of the situation before it turned bad. I realized as I held her and felt my body react that being this close was not good for either of us. As if reading my mind, she turned away from me and on to her side. I knew that if I didn’t move now, I wouldn’t.
“Please stay,” she murmured again. But this time she did not move closer to me. She stayed a safe distance. I moved as close as I could, without endangering both us and touched her shoulder. I laid my head down on the pillow and closed my eyes. I knew my breathing was heavy and she could probably feel it, but I didn’t dare leave her side. The ache was still there but so was the self-control I desperately feared I would never find. Being this close to her, laying next to her, kept my mind racing. I wondered what I was doing, and why I felt this incredible urge to protect her more than I had anyone else. Everything about her pulled me closer and closer over the edge of reason; and this was truly something I had never encountered before. It was unchartered territory for me and I although I was entranced by the feelings, it wasn’t a feeling I was ready to feel comfortable with. I laid there next to her until I was sure she had fallen into a deep sleep and finally got up shortly before dawn.
The sun was just beginning to come up over the eastern horizon as I began to make coffee. It was going to be a warm day in Phoenix, a good day for a swim I thought to myself. But we wouldn’t be swimming or enjoying the sun. If I had my say, she would remain here in the condo, resting enjoying a little bit of peace and quiet I knew I could guarantee her.
For the first time since Paige died, I was extremely grateful I had kept this condo. I had kept it under an assumed name, wanting to keep it secret from not only her but from everyone in case I ever did need to escape. My ulterior motive for buying it was Paige though. At the time I figured that once Paige got better we could move out of DC to the desert like she wanted to. I would leave my job and find something in local law enforcement if it came down to it. I had wanted to surprise her.
She never found out about the Condo, as she died not long after I had bought it. I had laughed to myself, the first time I had come out after she had passed, she would have thought it was frivolous and wasteful to have it, especially since she was going to die. My heart began to ache as I thought about Paige. I looked out the window of the condo and headed back into the living room to my laptop on the coffee table. I knew we were safe here for a few days as I was sure they would figure it out eventually. I needed to think about where to go next. It had to be someplace no one would expect us to go and some place where we could blend in and hide out for a while until we figured out what to do next.
A
I woke to the sound of his tapping fingers on the laptop. I wasn’t sure what he was doing but I knew it was time to get up. I hadn’t slept well after the dream. It was a strange dream, one I hadn’t expected but considering everything, my subconscious was working overtime. Jack was in the dream protecting me, then suddenly he was gone. What scared me the most about the dream was not that I was alone, I could handle that. It was the fact that he was gone out of my life. Much to my surprise I awoke and he was suddenly there and for most of the night I had felt his warm body next to mine. The dream didn’t come back, but I had a hard time sleeping after that.
I wondered what his next move would be. Where would we go? I still felt I could trust where he said to go and what to do. He had been honest and up front with me so far and he had kept me alive. Both were incredible circumstances I was grateful for.
I walked into the bathroom hoping to find something that would combat the rats nest my hair had become. I was self-conscious of my average looks and knew more than anything I needed as much help as possible first thing in the morning. I looked around the bathroom for anything, toothpaste, a comb, a used toothbrush? I was able to find a hair brush, which I managed to run through my mangled hair. I turned to go and get dressed but then reality set in as I realized I had nothing but Jack’s sweats to wear. The clothes I had worn yesterday were trashed from my bloody nose and frankly I wanted to burn them.
I turned and walked out of the bathroom and out into the living room where Jack was on the lap top typing away. I could feel my body tense as the smell of coffee triggered a replay of yesterday’s events in my mind. It had been my need for coffee and my promise to the cute Air Force guy that had gotten me shot at. But today those thoughts were not going to detour me from the caffeine I desperately wanted. I could hear Jack still typing away. It was as if he didn’t even notice I had walked by. I really didn’t need the coffee to remind me of yesterday’s events, the stiffness and sore muscles reminded me of that every time I took a step.
“I think there is some powder cream crap in the pantry if you want it,” I heard him call from the other room. His tone was calm, his voice amazing. I didn’t need any of the powder cream crap as he called it so I ignored him and took a sip of the hot black liquid. It was bitter but tasted good on my tongue. I wondered to myself if anyone had ever awoke to the glorious voice or that warm body day after day. Whoever it was, I had decided was lucky. I walked out of the kitchen to the couch we had sat on last night with a grin on my face.
“Coffee’s good, thank you.” I mumbled. I wasn’t sure if he was still upset with me about last night. I really didn’t care. I was still prepared to get on a plane to Washington with him and face whatever consequences I needed to face. He didn’t acknowledge me, nor did I expect him to. I could see the sun over the Eastern Horizon of the desert. It was quite a sight to see, maybe not as pretty as Albuquerque, but it was amazing. I let my thoughts wander to what I was missing. End of the week, “let’s see” I thought to myself, “a staff meeting.” I usually went to the gym after work, and caught up on reading. I also tried to call my mom every day. I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle that one. I needed to let them know I was ok. They were going to wonder where I was.
“My family?” I whispered, barely audible. Jack did not look up from his seat. “My mom and my dad?” I said a little louder. This time he had to have heard me. But he made no motion to acknowledge me. I slammed the coffee cup down on the table in front of me. It infuriated me that he chose to ignore me asking about something that was extremely important to me. “Damn it Jack! My parents, are they safe?” I yelled the question this time.
Jack looked up from his computer and gently put his cup down. “Your parents are going to be fine Alison. I will have you call them later and tell them you are going out of town for work for a little while.”
“How can you be so sure they are going to be safe?” I looked at him intently waiting impatiently for his response. How did he know they wouldn’t go after my parents looking for me. I wasn’t entirely convinced that they
wouldn’t.
“They’ll watch your parents in case you show up there. Hell they’ll even bug their phone. So any phone calls you make to them will have to be short sweet and to the point. You can email them if you want.” He motioned toward the computer in front of him. “But you can’t say any more than necessary.”
I sighed in frustration. He had a point, what was I going to tell them? “Oh by the way mom I am being hunted by someone. Hell I think even by a foreign country and possibly a terrorist group because I gave them the wrong processor for their satellite system. Oh and I am being protected by a man I barely know, but don’t fret mom, he’s hot and knows how to use his gun, so I’m safe.” I hadn’t realized that Jack could hear my tirade. I was talking to myself out loud. I could feel my face turn every shade of red imaginable.
“I wouldn’t necessarily say that, but thank you for the compliment. Been a long time since I’ve been called hot.” The smile on his face went from ear to ear, and he was almost as red as I was as he got up from where he sat. “That might scare the hell out of her, not to mention she may get the wrong idea. You might be better off telling her something simple like you are having a breakdown and you are going out of town for a few days. Tell her you are ok and not to worry.”
“Mental breakdown,” I questioned raising my eyebrows. “Gee that might work.” My tone was unconvincing. If anyone knew my family they knew I was the most stable one of them all, so that excuse wasn’t going to work.
“You could tell her you have met someone you are madly in love with and have decided to run off and see the world with him. It will give us more time without having to think of another explanation.” He was so nonchalant about his words I could have sworn he was dead serious. He smiled and walked into the kitchen to pour himself another cup of coffee. I could feel my body begin to tingle.
The Protector Page 15