by Sumida, Amy
I was home.
Nick cried and I let him down. He jumped on the sofa to administer a fresh round of grooming to his travel rumpled fur. Cats were either the cleanest creatures on earth or a little OCD.
“Nothing’s changed,” Trevor came up behind me and rested his hands on my shoulders.
“Only me,” I sighed and turned in his arms to wrap myself around him for a quick hug. I pulled back reluctantly and looked up at him. “We need to talk.”
“No, Minn Elska,” he picked me up and carried me down the hall to our bed. “We don’t have to talk about it, not unless you want to. It’s the past now and what we need to do is focus on the future. Leave what happened with Anubis in Duat, let it haunt him, because that's where the fault lies, not with you.”
“You don’t want to know what happened?” I felt my heart clench and my shoulders start to relax.
“Not unless you want to speak of it,” he laid me down gently and started taking my shoes off.
“He controlled me,” I whispered and his hands stilled. I felt him climb into bed next to me but I’d covered my face. I couldn’t look at him. “He crept into my body and took control of it.”
“He’ll never control you again,” his arms slid under and around me and I turned into that warmth. My hands lowered and I saw him through a film of tears. He looked blurry but calm and that’s exactly what I needed, someone calm and steady so I could fall apart. I let go of the tears I’d been holding in and gave in to a good, hard cry.
Trevor soothed me with soft sounds and gentle hands, pulling me up in the bed with him and tucking us both beneath the covers fully clothed. It felt so safe there, snug in my home, within the carved walls of my bed, under thick blankets, and surrounded by my wolf. I let the last sob work its way out, my last tear for Anubis, for what he’d done to me. I refused to cry any more for him.
I had a small thought for Ma’at and Re, a wish that I could contact them and continue our friendship, but I knew I’d probably never see them again. Actually, I should probably hope I’d never see them again because if I did, I’d most likely be seeing Anubis as well.
I started pulling at Trevor’s clothes, frantic to get them off him, needing to feel his flesh against mine. He accepted my urgency with tranquility and helped me remove both of our clothing until there was nothing between us. I sighed and pressed my ear to his chest. His strong heartbeat was more home to me than any four walls could ever be.
“Touch me,” I whispered, “touch me everywhere and make me real again.”
“I’m here,” he whispered back and already his face was moving through my hair, down my neck, lips grazing over skin, body rubbing his scent on mine. “You’re here. There’s no one else, only you and me, forever.”
“Forever,” the word sank in. It really was forever now. I was immortal, which meant Trevor was once again immortal. “Fenrir must be happy now that you’re immortal again.”
“I’m sorry,” he stopped and looked up at me. “Did you just mention my father while I was making love to you?”
I giggled and the laughter healed the last broken bit of me that the Grayel had missed. I pulled Trevor to me and let him wipe away all traces of Anubis until I shivered in pleasure again, only pleasure, no fear or anger with it. No humiliation or betrayal. He emptied me of all the pain and filled me with the joy of his love. I was being made love to again, not controlled or forced but made love to, and there was no one better at it than my Wolf Prince.
I thought it would be difficult to make love to Trevor after Anubis. I thought I'd feel shame, fear, maybe just end up cringing away from him. I should have known better. Part of Trevor was inside me. Taking his body into mine was merely a symbolic representation of what our relationship truly was. He touched me and I felt no shame for what had been done to me, only relief that it was over and I was back where I belonged.
I felt the Binding rise up, the magic that connected us, and the heat of it was more powerful than anything Anubis had filled me with. It burned away the past and brightened the future. It shook through my body, making me wet in an instant, and tightening my limbs around my wolf lover.
His face rubbed against mine and I closed my eyes and smiled. I knew what was coming next, the wolf needed to mark his mate, and I was all down for that. There would be that wonderful nuzzling over every inch of my body. He would cover me in his scent until he felt secure enough that I was his again. Then he'd bring me to the limits with his tongue and teeth, marking my now bare neck with his love bite, while I marked him with one of my own.
We would be lost in the haze of lust and love that the Binding could only strengthen, making love with the power of beasts and the need of the recently reunited, until we spent ourselves completely and simply lay there panting in each others arms till sleep took us.
Yes, I was pretty sure that's what was going to happen, and I didn't, not for one second, mind the predictability of it.
Chapter Thirty
I stared down at the pages before me, trying to calm my racing heart. The book was one I’d pillaged from Ku, the Hawaiian God of War, after I’d killed him. My first kill actually. I’d been in no small amount of shock at the time but I’d still managed a half-ass search of his premises. It was how I’d found out about gods actually being Atlanteans and how they’d been using humans for years as their own personal battery packs.
The book was full of spells, god spells, and I’d been able to use quite a few of them but since I was a human witch, I couldn’t use them all. It was god magic and it took a god to power the more complex spells. The God Squad had been surprised I’d been able to utilize any of the magic at all but now I was technically a Goddess. Would the rest of the spells work for me?
The spell I wanted to do was supposed to make you invisible. It was a talent most gods were able to manage with hardly a thought. Surely it was a baby step into advanced god magic, which was exactly what I wanted to start with. I took a deep breath and read over the instructions. All you had to do was envision the space you were in, without you in it. Sounds simple but there was no way a human witch could do it. Imagine all you want, you still wouldn't turn invisible. Even Harry Potter needed a cloak.
Human magic just didn’t work like that. Human magic, as well as the lesser levels of god magic, involved words, preparation, tools, and usually some type of ingredient. You could use a wand to direct energy but simply waving it around would produce nothing beyond a slight breeze.
I looked around my living room. White gauze draped from the center of the ceiling out and down the walls, making me feel like I was in a tent. I loved it, it felt cozy. Moroccan sofas and lantern, Persian carpets, a low table topped with a massive carved brass plate, and numerous tribal decorations completed the look. I closed my eyes and saw it all clearly in my head. It gets pretty easy to visualize after you’ve been a witch for awhile.
Then I saw it all without me in it.
I felt a light tingling on my skin and when I looked down, it was covered with a blue glow. Was I invisible? I could see myself just fine. I looked completely normal except for that glow. Shit, I just didn’t know.
I got up and went looking for Kirill. He’d moved back in after I returned, and was probably sharpening his knives, carving wood, or doing some other manly crap in his room. I smiled in anticipation. If my spell had worked, I’d be able to play my first joke on him. He’d recently started to smile after his long years of abuse at the hands of Niyavirezi and I’d finally got to hear him laugh.
Kirill’s laugh was as deep as the blue of his eyes and just as beautiful. When he laughed, it was a full throated sound of joy and it made you want to hear it again and again. I fervently hoped to get a laugh out of him.
There he was, sitting on the twin bed I’d bought and set up for him in my art room. My easel was in a corner, next to the desk I'd cleared out for Kirill's wood carving, and the dresser now had more than a couple pairs of jeans in it. My paintings were all over the walls. I'd offered to tak
e them down but Kirill insisted that he loved them all and his comfort had been priority. I wanted him to feel safe and loved. I wanted him to know he finally had a home where no one was going to abuse him.
The wavy length of his hair was draped around him, lustrous in the soft light of his table lamp. The blue gems of his eyes were focused on a book, his knees drawn up to serve as a table. His gaze didn’t even flicker to me once.
I was invisible!
I would’ve done a little happy dance if I hadn’t intended on playing my joke. So, what to do, what to do? I ended up studying him as I thought about it. He was dressed casually, T-shirt and jeans, but nothing looked casual on him. Kirill had been Niyavirezi’s first pick among all her gorgeous lions and there was no question why, when you looked at him. I barely caught myself before I sighed.
What the hell was wrong with me?
I loved Kirill… as a brother. I’d worked him through the insanity Niyavirezi’s treatment had thrust him into. I’d healed him with my magic and helped him through the after effects. He was mine to protect as much as I was his. As my Ganza, his main goal in life was to keep me safe and feeling safe was a major turn on for me. The man who kept me safe, gained attractive points and with Kirill, that made him crazy attractive.
But still… what was this all about?
I stepped forward quietly, placing each foot cautiously on the old floorboards and hoping they wouldn’t creak. Two steps and I was standing on the dark blue area rug in the center of the room. Five more steps and I’d be right next to him. A little crease appeared between his eyes but he remained focused on the book, turning the page after a few moments. One more step and he raised his head. I stopped short, holding my breath.
He scented the air, fast little intakes of breath as he stared around the room suspiciously. Busted! He could smell me and he knew something was up. If I was going to do something, the time was at hand. I leapt onto the bed, sending the book flying and causing Kirill to flop to the side. In the next instant, he was on me and I was giggling.
The ruse was up and the magic gone, wafting away with my concentration.
“You made yourself invisible!” He sounded so proud and the eyes that stared down at me were filled with it until he took a deep breath, taking in my scent, and then they started to darken to indigo.
“Kirill?” I felt my heart pounding in my throat. What the hell was it doing there? Someone needed to tell my heart to get back where it belonged… mainly away from Kirill.
“Tima,” his face lowered till his lips were just a breath above mine and I suddenly realized that he was pressed down the full length of me and there was a part of him that was overjoyed to be there. Shit, I’d wanted his laughter not his passion, right? Right?
“I feel…” speaking moved my lips against his and the spark it made set off a fire I had no idea, had been just waiting to ignite.
I caught his shoulders in my hands, my fingers clenching with the effort to push him away. I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t betray Trevor just weeks after returning to him. I could be faithful. I was faithful… until Anubis screwed with my free will. I wasn’t going to kiss Kirill. I wasn’t going to kiss Kirill.
He rolled away, to lie in a violently shaking heap next to me. I immediately got off the bed and backed away. I wanted nothing more than to comfort him but I didn’t trust myself. I couldn’t touch him. I couldn't be near him.
“Tima,” Kirill reached a hand out to me and I nearly lost control. My sweet black lion, what had I done to him? Hadn't he suffered enough?
“I’m so sorry, Kirill,” I felt my eyes filling with tears. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Maybe being with Anubis has tainted something inside me.”
“You’re not tainted,” Kirill looked like he was in pain. “I have to tell you somezing.”
“Minn Elska,” Trevor’s voice came down the hallway, along with the sound of the front door closing.
I jumped guiltily but called out automatically, “In here.”
I moved closer to the door as he came down the hall, and plastered on a happy face. He gave me a quick kiss and smiled over at Kirill.
“You guys want to go out for some dinner?”
“Sure,” I nodded and looked over to Kirill hopefully.
He nodded but his smile looked forced. For once, I was glad his smiles normally looked that way. How horrible was that? I ignored the thought and let Trevor pull me down the hallway.
“Hey, I just learned how to make myself invisible,” I latched on to my earlier victory, even though the feel of success had melted in the heat of Kirill’s passion.
“That’s great,” Trevor stopped to give me a congratulatory hug. “Soon you’ll be better than all the other gods, my sweet witch goddess.”
“Thanks, babe,” I settled into his side as he resumed walking but I couldn’t resist a glance at Kirill over my shoulder. His eyes were dark and full of a need that echoed somewhere low in my body. “Where you wanna go for dinner?”
I stared back at Trevor and tried desperately to let his appeal consume me. It did, he was one hell of an appealing man, but I still felt the pull of Kirill, almost as if it were a tangible thing. I made a decision that the next spell I’d look up would be something to neuter these excess lusts of mine.
“I was thinking Haliewa Joe’s,” Trevor locked the door behind us.
Haliewa Joe’s was not in Haliewa. Well, there was one in Haliewa but they’d also opened a second one in Kaneohe, back in Haiku Gardens near the Ko’olau mountain range. It was situated on a cliff overlooking a beautiful garden, complete with a pond and a gazebo. They held a lot of weddings there.
The hostess seated us at one of the prime tables near the edge of the railing, so we could enjoy the view. The tiki torches hanging outwards over the rail were already fired up even though the sun had yet to set. Sunset came quickly on this side of the island, once the sun got past the mountain, that was it, so it wasn’t surprising that they were prepared early. We still had some daylight left though so we were able to look out and enjoy the view.
The gardens were filled with tropical flowers. The bird-of-paradise was my favorite, with its long beak-like stalk crested with spikes of orange and blue petals. They looked as if they could start squawking at any second. Then there were all the orchids and lush, big-leafed ferns, overflowing the flower beds like they were trying to make a break for it. It was fabulous.
“So what spell are you going to try next?” Trevor broke through my floral distraction.
I looked around to make sure we didn’t have any eavesdroppers to our strange conversation before answering. “I don’t know, maybe levitating.”
“I thought you were afraid of heights?” He smiled and it was his teasing look, the one that made my chest feel tight.
“I am,” I grinned back. “That’s the whole point. It’s not really the heights part that bothers me, it’s the potential fall and subsequent splatting that’s scary. Levitation would prevent said splat.”
“My Tima fears nozing,” Kirill scoffed and his Russian accent became slightly more pronounced with it. I found it terribly tempting, erotically enticing, and other alliterate longings that made me want to smack myself hard across the face with an ice pack.
“I fear lots of things,” I looked away from his masculine beauty.
We were already getting stares from women sitting around the restaurant. I was used to having my man appraised by other women. Usually it made me feel a little proud to be with him. But that was Trevor. Watching the ladies ogle Kirill and seeing the assumption that Trevor was with me, so maybe the hottie with the buff bod and hair down to his ass was single, made me want to jump up and bitch slap every woman in the joint… or kiss the hell out of Kirill and show them he was taken, which of course he wasn’t. Both options were way over the sanity line for me. So instead, I decided to sing.
“Sharks in deep water and very high places,” I sang to the tune of “Favorite Things” from The Sound of Music. “Gods
that attack me with magic and maces. Crowds that push in on all sides like a ring. These are a few of my sca-a-ariest things.”
The boys laughed and applauded. I smiled and did a slight head bow, simply pleased to have diverted my mood.
“You know,” our waitress had come up on the end of my performance. “I heard once that you should never trust anyone over the age of ten who sang songs from The Sound of Music.”
“Not exactly the quote but close enough for me,” I laughed. “Ellen Degeneres in Goodbye Lover. Great flick.”
“That’s right,” the waitress laughed, took our order, and left but was back in a few minutes with our drinks.
“I zink ve need to talk about somezing,” Kirill started after she left a second time and I looked up at him in panic.
I knew what he wanted to talk about. Kirill was an honest man and he wouldn’t like hiding our almost-kiss from Trevor. He’d probably want to move out and I just didn’t want that. I needed him. I needed him? I pushed the thought away and concentrated on pleading with Kirill with my eyes. Something flickered in his gaze and I saw that he caught the message.
“You sound serious, what is it?” Trevor looked worried.
“I just zink ve need be more careful vith Vervain now,” I sighed inwardly and Kirill gave a small smile. “She’s stronger now but zere’s going to be gods out for blood for simple fact zat Godhunter is now one of zem.”
Good cover Kirill. Wait, he was kind of right. I frowned and thought it over. Was I going to have to give up my little house and move into Pride Palace? I didn’t want to do that but I wanted everyone to be safe… including me. As far as I knew, no one knew the location of my home except for trusted friends but that could go wrong at any time. In the God Realm, I was completely protected, the wards would let only approved visitors through and even if something bad did break in, I think my lions could handle it.
“What do you suggest?” Trevor’s voice brought me out of my musings.