‘Then when I was away all I could think about was you. Being out in the field wasn’t enough any more. In fact...’ his finger brushed her lip ‘...it was pretty lonely.’
‘I’ve been lonely too.’ It didn’t feel like an admission of failure, not now.
‘Suddenly, it didn’t feel like such a big decision at all. I was going to take the job and woo you. Only when I hotfooted it to Hopeford you were gone.’
‘So you came all the way to Sydney.’ Clara smiled at him, a wide, uninhibited grin of joy. ‘We leave in two days. You didn’t have that long to wait.’
‘What’s another twenty-four hours of travel?’ he said. ‘Besides, waiting was making me anxious. I didn’t want to lose my nerve. You can be pretty intimidating, you know, Clara Castleton?’
‘Me?’ She’d worked hard at it but that wasn’t who she wanted to be any more. She was sick of keeping the world at arm’s length.’
‘You can also be funny and warm and sharp and there is no one I’d rather wade through mud with. I told you once I’m not a hearts and flowers kind of guy. I’m the idiot who takes a beautiful woman on an assault course or gets a kid stuck on top of a roller coaster but I promise, if you take a chance on me, I’ll always put you first. I’ll always try.’
Clara took a step closer to him, finally allowing herself to lean in against that tall, broad body, to lace her fingers around his neck, to reach up and press a kiss on that firm mouth. ‘I know you will,’ she whispered. ‘You always put everyone else first. And I don’t need hearts or flowers or clean and tidy adventure-free dates. I just need you, Raff Rafferty.’
* * * * *
Keep reading for an excerpt from THE BILLIONAIRE IN DISGUISE by Soraya Lane.
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CHAPTER ONE
JESSICA FALLS LEANED against the wooden fence and stared out at the land. She hadn’t been home in almost two years, but there was nothing about her surroundings that wasn’t familiar to her. The horses grazing in the fields, the smell of the pine trees, the big house behind her—they were all things ingrained in her memory that she would never forget, no matter how long she lived.
But nothing was like it used to be. She wiped away tears that had escaped from the corner of her eye, despite her best efforts to blink them away, and forced herself to turn and go back to the house. She’d only just arrived back, but instead of going straight in she’d walked around outside and done her best to ignore reality. That she wasn’t going to have to live in the house alone, that her grandfather wasn’t really gone, that she hadn’t just lost everything that mattered to her.
Jessica moved slowly up the veranda steps, stopping when she reached the door and taking a deep breath. She eventually put her key in the lock and pushed the door open, listening to it creak as she stared into the dark hallway. She picked up one of her suitcases and wheeled it in behind her, moving slowly to the bottom of the stairs. It was quiet, too silent for her liking, but it was something she was going to have to get used to.
“Hello?”
She jumped and turned at the sound of a deep voice, not expecting anyone else to be on the property, let alone at her front door.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”
Jessica locked eyes with a man leaning against her doorjamb. Who the hell was he? She slipped her hand into her back pocket, feeling for her phone, ready to dial for help if she needed it.
“Ah, can I help you?” She didn’t care how handsome the guy was—she didn’t want company right now, and definitely not from some stranger.
“I saw you arrive before and I wanted to say hi.”
Jessica stood still for a moment, silent, before she realized who he was and felt like a complete idiot. She prized her fingers from her phone and pushed her hands into her pockets instead.
“You’re the guy renting the cottage, right?” she asked, wishing she hadn’t glared at him like he was some kind of intruder. Her granddad’s lawyer had told her all about the guest staying on the grounds, and she’d forgotten about him. “The jet lag must be getting to me.”
His smile was genuine when he flashed it, his eyes crinkling ever so at the corners to match the upturn of his mouth.
“Understandable. I only knew Jock a couple of months and I’m already missing him like hell, so I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now.”
Jessica sighed, not ready to talk about it. She’d just traveled all the way from London without sleeping a wink, left her best horse behind without knowing if she’d ever be able to afford to bring him home, and everything was fast catching up on her. Not to mention the fact that she’d missed the funeral service of the one person in the world she really cared about, because she’d been stuck in a hospital on the other side of the world. Her granddad had been her only family since her mom had died, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was an orphan now. And the fact she hadn’t had the chance to say goodbye to him.
“Is there anything I can do for you? I’m not really sure what your arrangement was with my granddad, but you’re welcome to stay for as long as you want.”
It wasn’t that she particularly wanted anyone hanging around, but from the information she’d received to date, she was going to need the income from the cottage just to keep paying the bills. And from what she’d heard, this guy was paying a small fortune in rent. He wasn’t exactly hard to look at, either—brown eyes flecked with gold, dark hair that was a little too long and a smile that made her want to stare at his mouth way longer than she should have.
“I won’t get in your way, I just wanted to say hi,” he told her. “I’m Nathan.”
“Jessica,” she replied, holding out her hand and pressing her palm to his. “But I’m guessing you already knew that.”
“Not a day went past that Jock didn’t talk about you, so yeah.” He pushed his hands into his jean pockets and took a step backward. “I’ll see you around, Jessica. Take care.”
Jessica smiled and raised one hand in a half wave, wishing he hadn’t just surprised her so soon after arriving. Any other day she’d have been better prepared, would have remembered her manners and invited him in for a coffee just like her grandfather would have, but today was tough. Today was about coming to terms with losing everything. Tomorrow she’d try to start rebuilding, and figure out how the hell she was going to save the only place that had ever been home to her. Trouble was, she was used to being a loner, so it was weird having someone she didn’t know staying on the property.
She watched him go, the casual way he sauntered off toward the stables, hands still thrust in his pockets, as if he didn’t have a worry in the world. Everything felt like it was crashing around her, but she had to stay strong, needed to hold herself together, because that was what her granddad would have expected, and she didn’t want to let him down.
* * *
Nathan Bell gave the horse a pat and dropped to the ground, nudging his hat down lower over his head, crossing his ankles and shutting his eyes. The sun was warm but not too hot, and he was feeling lazy as hell. He knew Patch wouldn’t walk off on him, and he just needed to try to catch up on some sleep. Since Jock had died, his insomnia had come back, and right now he was beat.
He was always worse at night, the memories of finding his wife, the weight of what had happened, always seeking him out in the dark. During the day, he usually managed to keep them at bay, but forgetting what had happened was impossible.
He’d just drifted off, was falling into the sleep he’d been craving, when he received a sharp kick in the leg.
“Ouch!”
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Nathan pushed his hat up and found himself staring straight up at Jessica. What the hell was he doing? What the hell was she doing? Her eyes looked wild, face mad as hell. At least it took his mind off his nightmares.
“I was sleeping, but I’m guessing you already figured that out,” he said, drawing one of his legs up and rubbing the spot where she’d kicked him. He had no idea what he’d done to make her so angry between now and when he’d met her.
“I mean what the hell are you doing here? And with my granddad’s horse?”
She was seriously pissed with him, that much was obvious, and he doubted he was going to get back to sleep anytime soon. Nathan tried not to smile—she’d looked pretty when he’d met her at the house, even with her tearstained cheeks, but she was gorgeous as sin all fired up and angry.
“Jock used to bring me here, as soon as he’d taught me to ride,” Nathan told her, wishing she’d back a step up instead of standing over him and glaring like he’d just stolen something from her. “And the last few weeks before he passed away he wasn’t up to riding, so he asked me to take Patch out for him.”
“I don’t believe you.” Her tone was cool as ice.
Nathan wasn’t going to engage, not when she was so mad with him. He stood up, reaching for her hand then stopping when she snatched it away before he even came close to connecting with her.
“I know that you’re hurting right now, but I’m not the one you should be angry at. I get that this was a special spot for you and Jock, because he told me so, and if he were here right now he’d tell you himself that you’re acting crazy. We rode up here almost every day together.”
A look passed over her face that he couldn’t read, but the anger disappeared from her eyes like a light going out. He understood that the place was special to her—the wooded hill area tucked away from the rest of the property was like a little slice of paradise hidden away from the world. Somewhere she was obviously used to enjoying in privacy. But he hadn’t done anything wrong, and grieving or not, he wasn’t going to let her take it out on him. If there was one thing her granddad had taught him, it was that just because you were grieving you didn’t have leave to behave badly.
“He told you that?” Her voice was softer now. “That it was our special place?”
“Yeah, he did,” Nathan replied. “Now why don’t you sit down and we can talk, if you’re done being angry with me?”
She didn’t apologize but she did look guilty, and he wasn’t going to rub salt into open wounds. He knew what it was like to lose someone.
“I didn’t think anyone else had been here, which I guess is kind of stupid,” Jessica said, wiping the corners of her eyes as she sat down across from him amongst the pine needles. “We started coming here when I was a girl, and it was kind of our thing. He always rode Patch, and I was on my old pony, Whiskers.”
Nathan nodded, sitting down beside her and stretching his legs back out. He watched as she grimaced, obviously trying to make herself comfortable, but he didn’t say anything.
“I hear you had a pretty good hideout, too. Something about a fort that you thought your mom never knew about up in the trees.”
Jessica met his gaze, laughed softly and shook her head. “Now I know you’re not lying,” she said, “because I still believe that no one else knew about that little hideaway.”
He held his hand to his chest. “Cross my heart, I won’t tell another soul.”
She leaned back and stared at the horses, and Nathan did the same.
“Patch must be so old now. He was perfect for my granddad, like they understood exactly what the other was thinking. I’ve never seen anyone else ride him, not ever.” She sighed. “That’s why it hit me so bad, seeing you. He’s been on the farm since I was a little girl.”
Nathan chuckled. “Yeah, which is why he’s perfect for me. He’s content just to take things slow and teach a newbie the ropes.” He paused, watched her, wished he didn’t feel so uncomfortable being so close to her. “We came up here a lot, the two of us, just to ride and chat, talk about anything and everything. It was as good for me as it was for the old man.”
Jessica groaned when she turned to her side, and he waited a second before saying anything more. It was none of his business, but he’d heard so much about her, knew about what had happened, and she was clearly in pain. Jock had been a good friend to him, a mentor, and he missed him more than she could ever imagine. Which meant that he wanted to help Jessica, if he could get past his own demons long enough to do so.
“Sounds like you were close friends. I shouldn’t have reacted so badly. I’m sorry.”
Nathan frowned at the grimace she was sporting. “From what Jock said, you’re supposed to be resting for the next few months, right? As in no getting back in the saddle?” Maybe he wasn’t so good at keeping his thoughts to himself.
Jessica didn’t shoot him the dagger-filled look he’d been expecting, but she did meet his gaze. “It’s stupid, I know, but I just needed to get out in the fresh air and ride. Take it easy, just not in the way my doctor prescribed.”
“It’s not stupid to want to ride, but you need to let your body heal.” He paused. “After what you went through...”
“You know all about my fall? What happened?” she asked.
He nodded. There was no point pretending otherwise. “The whole country knows all about it. They played the footage from the Badminton Horse Trials over and over on the news, the headlines were screaming about the downfall of New Zealand’s eventing golden girl and the best horse this country has ever produced.”
Fresh tears were visible in her eyes now, ready to fall. Maybe a simple yes would have been enough—he knew how much she loved her horse, from what Jock had told him, and the equine’s career was most definitely over, forever, even if hers wasn’t.
“And now my horse is stuck back in the UK, and I’m all useless and back here on my own.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “I wish I’d never taken him over, that I’d just campaigned a European horse. I know it sounds stupid, but he’s the most incredible animal and I miss him.’
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
Jessica shrugged and stood up, grimacing as she moved. Nathan jumped to his feet and held out a hand to help her, which she took, taking a moment to steady herself. The warm touch of her palm gliding into place alongside his took him by surprise, even though he was the one to initiate it.
“Just a leg up into the saddle would be great,” she told him, stopping to give Patch a pat before reaching for the reins of her own mount. “God only knows if I’ll ever be able to get up from the ground again on my own.”
Nathan bent and took her knee into his palm, counted to three then hoisted her up in the air. She landed gracefully in the saddle, her back beautiful and straight despite how much pain she must have been in. He knew she’d had a back injury, as well as doing some pretty major damage to one of her legs, but he didn’t want to pry.
“Nathan, I’m sorry for the way I acted before. I’m not usually so horrible.”
He chuckled. “Good, because otherwise I’d have to think your grandfather was a liar. He made you out to be the perfect granddaughter.”
Jessica laughed and he found himself grinning straight back at her. There was something so broken about her, so fragile, but at the same time seeing her sit up there in the saddle showed how strong she was, too. She was torn apart, emotionally and physical
ly, but definitely not broken. Kind of like him. Only being around her was forcing him to come out of his shell, to be the stronger one, when recently he’d felt so lost, so weak.
“What’s that old saying about rose-tinted glasses?” she asked, still smiling.
Nathan laughed. “Mind if I ride back down with you, or do you want some time alone?”
“Sure thing. It’s about time I started saying yes to company instead of pretending like I’m better off on my own.”
Nathan tried to mount as gracefully as he could and failed terribly, but thankfully Jessica was either too polite to say anything or she actually hadn’t noticed. He might be able to stay in the saddle, but that was about the extent of it.
“Not bad getting to ride alongside world eventing’s number two rider,” he joked.
“Well it’s a title I’m fast going to lose, so you’d better take the chance while you can.”
She was attempting to make fun of what happened, he got that, but he knew she was heartbroken over the accident. Jock had opened up to him about a lot of things, especially about Jessica, and he knew he had to tread carefully. The only thing her grandfather hadn’t made clear was how beautiful she was in real life—the photos in the media didn’t do her justice. Every time he’d seen her interviewed she’d either been wearing a helmet or had her hair pulled back into a tight bun, dressed in formal riding attire. But with her long blond hair loose, and wearing jeans and a T-shirt, she looked like a different woman. Only he had to keep reminding himself who she was, that she was Jock’s granddaughter. Nathan wasn’t ready for anything more than a bit of fun, and that wasn’t a category that Jessica Falls belonged in. Not ever. If he hadn’t been so close to her grandfather, he would have let that be her decision, but it wasn’t. Jock had been too important to him, which meant he wasn’t going to even think about Jessica like that.
His Reluctant Cinderella Page 17