by Laura Landon
“Help me!” she screamed.
Millicent knelt on the bed and placed her hands on either side of Barnaby’s face. “Don’t you dare die,” she yelled. “Don’t you dare!” Then, she covered his mouth with hers and breathed in and out. She refused to lose him.
Again and again she helped him breathe. She sucked huge gasps of air into her lungs, then released her breath into his. Over and over, she breathed for him.
“It’s too late, my lady,” Lord Radburn whispered. “He’s gone.”
“No!” she cried, and covered Barnaby’s mouth again to breathe for him.
She refused to let him die. She would continue to breathe for him until he had no choice but to breathe on his own. If she was carrying Barnaby’s son, she refused to let their child grow up without his father.
“Millicent,” she heard her brother whisper from behind her. Then she felt his tender touch urging her to cease her efforts.
Couldn’t they understand Barnaby wasn’t really dead? Didn’t they know his body just needed her to force him to return from wherever he’d gone?
Millicent shrugged Thomas’s hands from her shoulders and continued to breathe for Barnaby.
Time seemed to stop, but, as if Barnaby finally realized she wouldn’t give up until he returned to her, his body jerked, and he took in a gasping breath of air. Then another.
“You breathe, damn you,” she demanded as tears streamed down her cheeks. “Breathe, Barnaby, and don’t you ever stop.”
“I don’t believe this,” Thomas said from behind her. “It’s a . . . a . . .”
Millicent cupped her palms to Barnaby’s cheeks, then leaned over to kiss him. She couldn’t swear to it, but she was almost certain that he returned her kiss.
. . .
He should be dead. He’d been injured severely enough that he should be. He’d even dreamt that he had died, but of course that couldn’t have happened. Unless he hadn’t gone to heaven. Only in hell could there be this much pain.
He slowly, cautiously opened his eyes. Not all the way. Just enough to take in the darkness of the room.
The draperies were pulled nearly shut, but enough light shone through the window to indicate that it was morning. Or perhaps early afternoon.
Images of an earlier time intruded on his memory. The events he relived were not pleasant. He’d been trapped in the cave while Roseneau held Millicent captive. And time was running out.
Barnaby’s heart raced faster. He was desperate to do whatever it took to get Millicent out of the cave before Roseneau aimed his last shot at the deadly arsenal. Desperate to get them both out of the cave before they died.
Barnaby turned enough to look to the side of his bed. He was certain he knew what he’d find. The person he always found at his bedside when he was injured. The woman who was always there for him. But when he looked, she was even nearer still. She was on the bed next to him.
“Millicent?” he whispered.
“Are you awake?” she asked.
“Yes. Are you?”
“Barely.”
Before he could think of anything else, her fingers tightened around his.
“You’re not going to die, are you?” she asked.
Barnaby tried to smile. “No. I think I already did. But God sent me back.”
“Yes, you came back.”
Barnaby closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened his eyes a second time, the Earl of Radburn stood over them. “Good morning, Linscott. I can’t tell you how glad I am to see you’ve come back to us.”
“How long . . .”
“Three days. And I want you to know you’ve caused all of us a great deal of worry.”
Sophie stepped to the bed and held a glass to Barnaby’s lips. He was certain the glass contained wine-laced laudanum. He swallowed it gratefully.
“How badly is she injured?” Barnaby asked when he could speak.
“Not as badly as you,” Millicent answered.
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
“Lady Millicent suffered a bullet wound to her shoulder and to her arm,” Radburn answered. “Other than the loss of quite a bit of blood and a scar she can brag over for the rest of her life, she’ll be fine.”
Barnaby gave Millicent’s fingers a gentle squeeze. “Sleep now, Millie,” he whispered as he closed his eyes.
“You, too, Barnaby.”
She lay so close that she heard his whispered words. “I love you.”
And they slept with their hands locked together and their fingers entwined.
. . .
The next time Barnaby woke, the room was cloaked in lamplight. Moonlight shone through the window, and this time he knew that when he opened his eyes, she’d be in the chair beside his bed like she had been so often before.
He slowly turned his head. The waves of pain that shot through his chest and into his arm stole his breath.
“Do you need something for the pain?” she asked from the shadows.
“No. I want to stay awake for a while and talk. The laudanum will only put me to sleep.”
She rose and stood over him.
Barnaby lifted his uninjured arm a bit. “Come, lie with me.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
She slowly lowered her body to the bed and slid in beside him. When she was settled, she gently placed her head against his uninjured shoulder and breathed a heavy sigh. “You terrified me, you know,” she whispered.
“Were you afraid I might leave you?”
“Not afraid. Terrified.”
“I was terrified, too.”
They lay in silence for several minutes. Barnaby was trying to come to terms with how close he’d come to dying. What he would have missed.
“We’ll marry as soon as I’m well enough to ride to London to get a special license.”
“I think that might be a good idea.”
It took Barnaby a few seconds to realize that Millicent was trying to tell him something. “Is there a reason that might be a good idea?”
“There might be,” she added, then raised her head. “Nothing is for sure, though. It’s too soon to be certain.”
Barnaby’s heart swelled with joy. He might have a son. Or a daughter. The thought of a child that he and Millicent had created filled him with happiness. “That changes everything, then,” he said.
“What does it change?”
“Our futures.”
He felt her smile. “Yes, children do have that effect on lives. But I have a feeling that you are talking about something in particular.”
“Yes. I’m talking about my work for the government. I’ve been thinking of retiring from the field.”
“What would you do?”
Barnaby hesitated. “I’m not sure. Perhaps farm. Alex oversees several Halverston properties. I’m sure he will allow me to manage one of them.”
“But you don’t like farming.”
“I could learn to.”
“No.”
He slowly turned his head so he was able to look at her. “What do you mean? Surely you don’t want me to continue working for the government?”
“Perhaps not accepting such dangerous assignments. But Major McCormick told me you were one of his most valuable agents. He said that between your access to Society and your training, you would always have a place in his department.”
“You could live with that?”
Millicent raised her hand and held it to his cheek. Then she lifted her head and pressed her mouth to his. “I could live with you doing anything as long as you came home to me every night.”
“Then I will make you that promise. I can’t think of anything more important than being with you for the rest of my life.”
“Neither can I,” she whispered as she kissed him one more time. “For the rest of our lives.”
Epilogue
Thomas, Earl of Renfrew, stood at the window in the massive study at Westview Park and watched the caravan of carriages s
top at the entrance. Lord Radburn was there to greet his guests, alongside Lady Carlisle. And so was Thomas’s sister Millicent, and Barnaby Linscott. Polly was also there, beaming with excitement at meeting Barnaby Linscott’s entire family. Thomas was anything but excited. He wondered what excuses he could make to avoid their guests for the two weeks they were here. The gathering had come for the weddings. Both Lord Radburn and Lady Carlisle’s wedding and Barnaby and Millicent’s wedding.
Perhaps he could use the repairs that were about to begin on Cliffside as an excuse to be absent. He’d of course have to return for the weddings, but that would give him at least a two-week respite. Then he would have to return to escort Millicent and Lady Carlisle down the aisle.
He should be honored, and he was, but he also dreaded the thought of being so exposed. Although the red of his scars had faded a bit with time, his face would never be anything but grotesque.
Thomas watched as a footman opened the door to the first carriage. A tall, distinguished-looking man stepped to the ground.
Although Thomas had never met any of Barnaby’s family, he was sure that this must be Barnaby’s brother, the Marquess of Halverston. When the marquess stepped to the ground, he turned to assist a very pretty, very pregnant lady from the carriage. This was obviously Lady Halverston.
Barnaby had told them the marchioness was with child and that the marquess considered not making the trip, but the marchioness would have none of it and insisted she would be here.
Thomas assumed the second man to disembark was Major Samuel Bennett. He’d married Barnaby Linscott’s sister, Lady Claire. There’d been a scandal associated with the lady, but Thomas wasn’t sure what that scandal was any more, other than that she’d been married to a nobleman who was already married and had a family.
As soon as the lady stepped to the ground, Major Bennett turned to assist a second young woman from the carriage.
Thomas found it difficult to take his eyes off the woman. He didn’t remember Barnaby mentioning having another sister. Especially one so beautiful. One so mesmerizing that she caused emotions to stir inside him that he thought would never come to life again.
Thomas forced his gaze to shift from the lady Major Bennett was escorting to the house, to the happy reunion on display at the front door. When they’d moved inside the manor house and he could no longer see them, he listened to their happy voices as they gathered inside the foyer.
He took in a fortifying breath and held it for several long moments while he prepared himself for the looks of sympathy and pity he would receive.
The voices grew louder with excitement as they neared the study door. He lifted his shoulders and turned to face the guests when they entered.
Every instinct of self-preservation screamed for him to turn his head so the scarred side of his face wasn’t noticeable. But he’d never been one to take the coward’s way out, so he stood with the disfigured side of his face in full view.
He didn’t care so much about the reactions of Barnaby’s family. Not that their opinions didn’t matter, but they didn’t matter as much as the reaction of the beautiful young lady. He hated to think of the look of disgust he might see on her face when she saw him.
“Everyone,” Lord Radburn said, leading the procession of guests into the room. “Please be seated.”
The ladies took seats on the three sofas clustered in an intimate circle. There were several wing chairs interspersed between them to accommodate the men. There were six females, counting Polly and the young lady Major Bennett had shown to a chair instead of the sofa. There were five men, counting himself. When everyone was seated, Thomas knew the focus would now turn to him.
Since Barnaby knew all the players in the room, he was responsible for the introductions.
“Allow me to introduce my family, Lord Renfrew.”
Thomas stepped forward.
Barnaby went around the circle, first to Major Bennett and his wife, Lady Claire. Next, to Lord Alexander Halverston and his wife, Lady Isobel. Then, of course, he introduced everyone to Lord Radburn and Lady Carlisle. He introduced Thomas’s young sister, Pauline, and finally he turned to the stranger sitting in the wing chair on the end.
“Lastly, may I introduce Lady Cleora Wentworth. She’s the daughter of the Earl of Palmerston and a niece of Major McCormick, someone with whom Major Bennett and I have a close connection. She is a delightful acquaintance and agreed to escape London and join us in the country.”
All eyes turned to the lady, who lowered her gaze to her hands resting in her lap. When she lifted her head, Thomas felt as if someone had planted a fist in his midsection. Her rosy cheeks and shy smile were nearly his undoing. But the true test would come when she looked in his direction and saw his disfigured face.
Since everyone had already met Lady Cleora, Thomas was the only one yet to be introduced to her. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, my lady,” he said as regally as he could.
He waited for her to turn her head in his direction. When she did, their gazes locked, and she smiled.
He anticipated her look of horror, but there was nothing. It was as if she hadn’t noticed the pulled scars that so grotesquely affected his face. As if his distorted and deformed flesh didn’t repel her.
“The pleasure is mine, Lord Renfrew,” she said in a voice as clear and calm as a fresh breeze. “I so looked forward to coming. There is nothing more enjoyable than the country at this time of year.”
“Yes, and the weather this year has been especially fine.”
“Speaking of especially fine,” Barnaby said, interrupting them, “it would be more than especially fine if I introduced my family to my future bride.”
Barnaby moved to Millicent’s chair and extended his hand. Millicent stood, and Barnaby gathered her close to him.
“All of you know that Millicent and I shall marry soon. In fact, the marriage will take place in less than two weeks—if my brother didn’t forget to procure the special license.”
The Marquess of Halverston patted his jacket pocket. “I have the document right here, brother.”
Everyone laughed. “It’s important that all of you know how special Millicent is to me. I would not be alive if not for her. She refused to allow me to die.”
There were several shocked expressions on Barnaby’s family’s faces, and tears spilled from Lady Claire’s and Lady Isobel’s eyes.
“I owe her more than I can express and love her more than I thought possible.”
Millicent tipped her chin and looked at her future husband. The love they shared was more than evident.
Thomas was happy for his sister. He was also a little sad because he knew he’d never find a love like she had found. No female would ever want to spend her life with someone so grotesquely disfigured. Even a woman like Lady Cleora, who hadn’t shown the least shock or disgust when she’d first seen him.
Thomas experienced a greater admiration for the beauty who took in everything around her as if she’d been a part of his family forever. The smile on her face didn’t waver, nor did it fade, and Thomas wondered if it was possible for anyone to be so perfect.
There wasn’t a lull in their conversation while tea was served. Although he tried not to stare at Lady Cleora, it was impossible not to. She’d declined tea, asking that a cup be sent to her room at the staff’s convenience instead.
A short while later, Childers, Lord Radburn’s butler, entered the room to announce that the guests’ rooms were ready. Everyone rose except Lady Cleora.
Major Bennett and his wife stepped to Lady Cleora’s side. “I’ll send Maggie to escort you to your room, Cleo,” he said softly.
“Please allow me,” Thomas offered. He was anxious to be alone with her. Thomas held out his arm to assist her to rise.
She ignored his offer. She sat in her chair with the same perfect smile on her face and the same ethereal expression but didn’t move to place her hand in his.
A stabbing of offense, then anger raged through Thomas at th
e insult she’d just lobbed in his direction. He prepared to pull his arm back and walk away from her.
But Major Bennett lifted a staying hand, then reached out to lift Lady Cleora’s hand. He gently placed her gloved hand in Thomas’s, and she wrapped her delicate fingers around his.
When she felt secure, she rose.
And Thomas realized the beautiful woman who’d caused his emotions to surge . . . was blind.