Out From Under

by Selene Chardou

  Linx grabbed a beer for her, opened it and handed it to her.

  “Thanks. Meet me in the sitting room. We need to talk.”

  He watched her, taking in her full-back tattoo that was dedicated to a family that hadn’t really died. It was all such a sordid yet beautiful lie and what was so awful about the whole situation was that they still didn’t know the whole truth.

  Trista’s father had been an FBI agent almost his whole adult life. They learned how to lie for a living and do it straight-faced without a shred of remorse or guilt. Her mother was also highly trained, though she hadn’t admitted to being part of the bureau.

  Government employees, of the clandestine origin, always had a certain feel to them he couldn’t possibly explain. One of his favorite cousins, Joey, was a Navy SEAL. The man was complete and utter ice. He didn’t have a warm bone in his body and his job had eventually destroyed his marriage, but he didn’t give a fuck. His lucrative role as a Navy SEAL brought him more pleasure than a marriage and children ever could.

  Linx, on the other hand, was the opposite.

  There was nothing he liked to do more than perform. He was built for playing bass, and singing backup to Talia was a trip. He loved Winter’s Regret because they were a huge dysfunctional family that somehow worked.

  However, he would risk true happiness over his band. His band was what he worked for his entire life, his profession, but it couldn’t replace the love and devotion from a good woman. He knew how he felt about Trista, and she was so deeply embedded in his skin, she could easily be a tattoo. Her own pain was like barbed wire, which cut him every time he saw her conflicted.

  Linx walked into the living room and sat beside her on the sofa. She sat Indian-style and sipped from her lager.

  “Are you trying to push me away because you truly care about my safety or because you regret marrying me? I expect you to be honest with your answer…Lennon.” Her tone was cold, unfeeling and he knew it was her way of protecting her own feelings.

  “I told you that would never be the case. I could never leave you and that includes pushing you away. I. Love. You. How hard is that to understand?”

  She turned toward him with eyes bright, shiny with tears that never fell. “I love you too, goddamn it, but you’re going to have to fight for me. Prove you love me just as much as I love you and then maybe, just maybe, I will stop thinking about this ridiculous deal my parents have put on the table.

  “It’s easy for them because my mother has my dad. Tristan and Taryn have each other. I will be the odd one out and who will be there to hold me at night? Who will I find to treat me with so much love and affection until it is coming out of their pores? How do I go on to live a normal, productive life when half of my heart would be missing? You know you’re that other half and I also know you don’t want me to leave either, so fucking say it already!”

  Linx slammed his bottle down on the coffee table and reached over to cup her face. She was beautiful and vulnerable with him, inside his arms, when he was inside of her. Sure, she had some growing up to do, but she would do it much faster if she stayed with him rather than running back to her mother and father.

  “I don’t want you to go! There, I’ve said it! But you already know that. I don’t do long distance relationships either; I can’t take the chance of losing you. Besides, if you go, I won’t even get to know where you are. It would kill me to lose you, Trista. Don’t you understand that if I’m half your heart then you’re also half of mine?”

  He paused, finished his beer and set it on the Persian carpet next to the sofa. “Plus, I’m only human and I would hold out for as long as I could, but eventually I would stray; with you gone for an indefinite time, in an indefinite place. I’d be alone, it would happen. I cannot deal with two failed marriages. Please tell me you’re not willing to give up, on me, on us, on everything we have with nothing but theories and speculation?”

  The tears broke, flowing down her cheeks as her face slowly turned beet-red and he knew he’d broken through.

  She placed her arms around his neck and whispered in his ear. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Linx struggled to hold her tight, afraid he might break her in half with his relief. She’d saved him from the demons that constantly plagued him, and only then was he truly free to be himself. She didn’t demand for him to change and he would never ask it of her either. They needed each other, not because they couldn’t get enough physically but the co-dependency that had formed between them allowed them the emotional healing they both wanted and needed.

  He wasn’t stupid—he knew he couldn’t fix her, any more than she could fix him—but together, they could help each other become stronger and wasn’t that the point of life? No one wanted to wander through life walking wounded but too many people did and he didn’t want them to be another two individuals who ended up in the same scenario. He couldn’t let her family take her away because the moment they married, they became each other’s family. She was his family. He’d be damned if he allowed anyone to take that away from him—not her parents, her brothers or anyone else for the matter.

  As they loosened their holds, she looked into his eyes and he found himself falling into those deep pools of blue. She could express every feeling with those eyes and he couldn’t help his arousal to the look on her face.

  Trista leaned over and kissed him on the mouth, her lips gentle as his hands wandered under her cami to the small of her back, where he met soft, firm flesh. She opened her mouth and when her tongue brushed against his, ever so lightly, he demanded more, deepening their kiss until neither could breathe without panting.

  She pulled back as he grabbed the straps of her cami and slid them down over her shoulders to reveal her naked breasts.

  “Listen…I wanted to say something when we were in Vegas but then all that shit happened and we left. I’m too young for kids and you already have two by that ex of yours. Shouldn’t we…play it safe? I mean, I think we should use condoms until I’m at least able to get on birth control.” She stared down at his tattoos before raising her eyes toward his with reluctance.

  Linx stared at her intently. “We don’t have to use condoms because there’s something I wanted to tell you in Vegas too, just before your goddamn pedophile ex showed up and declared himself a federal agent. He ought to be put in jail, by the way, for sleeping with you while you were underage instead of getting a free pass because he’s undercover.

  “Anyway, my point is I wouldn’t have intentionally started having sex with you without protection if I didn’t know you would be all right. At the moment, I’m shooting blanks, Trista. I can’t get you pregnant because I had a vasectomy.”

  Her eyes went wide and he knew that had to be a total mood killer, he just wished someone would tell that to the raging hard-on painfully straining his jeans.

  “So, does that mean you can’t ever get me pregnant? I may not want kids right now, but I think eventually I would like to be the mother to at least one or two of your little rugrats,” she joked, though he could hear the hidden sadness beneath her tone.

  “It’s reversible. I knew I didn’t want to knock Cassidy up again because Jimi was the last play for me to stay with her; when it didn’t work, she turned ugly and vindictive. Plus, we tour and before you, there were…women on tour I slept with. Despite the use of condoms, they can break or slip off. I can’t afford to have baby mamas running around selling stories about me to the tabloids. It would kill my parents. It was to protect me and by default, it protects you too.”

  Trista stared at him for a long time before she took off her cami and threw it on the sofa. That was all the encouragement he needed and he immediately palmed her breasts, kneading them softly with gentle yet greedy hands as he began to devour her mouth again.

  She was his own tiny slice of heaven and as his kisses led lower to her neck and down her collar bone, she fisted her hands through his hair. He removed his hand off her breast and tackled the nipple with his mouth, sucking
in between soft bites with his teeth that had her moaning out loud as she ground her hips into his groin.

  He was hard as a proverbial rock, and completely ready for this sexual display of affection. Linx switched nipples and worked on the right one with his mouth while his index and thumb squeezed the other; his other hand worked inside her pajama bottoms.

  The area between her legs was warm and wet to his touch as he zeroed in on her clit and stroked it softly while she made soft noises in his ear. The moment his fingers plunged inside of her, she rocked her hips back and forth against them and every time he reached the hilt, his fingers were drenched with her juices. She was so turned on, so was he, but no way were they having another sofa incident.

  It took all the will power he could muster, but he withdrew his fingers, stripped her of both her pajama bottoms and panties, which landed carelessly on the floor, and hoisted her into his arms as if she were light as a feather.

  Her beautiful mouth worked on his neck, her warm, wet tongue teasing his jaw before she bit softly on his earlobe.

  “I know we are married, but does that mean you can’t fuck me? Hard, raw, with unrestrained passion and the need to let go all of the shit from the past? You won’t hurt me; I want you to give it to me hard and rough—I won’t break. You treat me like I am fragile but I’m not—I never have been. I want you to show me that side of you that doesn’t want to hide anymore. Please, let me in and show me all of you—the way I have laid myself naked and bare before you.”

  Linx wanted that more than anything, but he could admit, if only to himself, that he was afraid of hurting her. He treated her like a rare piece of silk because the thought of her being in pain was an anathema to the way he had been reared as a child.

  The rock star life was brutal and he was capable of having rough sex, but he wasn’t sure yet if he was ready to defile this young woman, who’d crept like a thief in the night and stole his heart right out of his chest.

  He would do anything for Trista yet could he fulfill her request and treat her so roughly? It was a question that plagued him even after he’d laid her on the bed, while he stripped out of his own clothes.

  Linx stood before her, naked and unashamed. He had nothing to fear because she knew every ounce of his flesh and had seen him both aroused and flaccid. They’d hidden nothing from one another.

  He approached her with a trepidation that was intimidating and out of character. Yes, he wanted to please her but he didn’t want to hurt her in the process.

  “Are we going to fuck?” Trista inquired crudely, as she splayed her legs before him; he could see every inch of her wet folds glistening with moisture in the dim lights of the bedroom.

  He pulled her by the waist until her ass was inches from the bed and spread her beautiful lips with his fingers. The holy of all holes was moist and wet and so ready for him.

  Linx tongued her deeply, sliding inside her as far as he could go and she smelled wonderful. She was a mixture of vanilla and freesia with her own musky scent that drove his hormones and had his cock twitching like crazy.

  Her vaginal muscles contracted around his tongue as he pulled it out and began to devour that sweet, hard nub at the hood of her beautiful snatch. He sucked and tongued her until she wriggled beneath him, her hips had a mind of their own, bucking up to his mouth until he brought her with a mind-numbing orgasm where he could have sworn she was speaking in tongues.

  Trista sat up suddenly and placed her arms around his neck. His lips met hers again; he sucked on her tongue in a slow, erotic fashion and nibbled at her bottom lip only to plunge his tongue deep in her mouth as he had her sweet spot. He could still taste her, and knew she could as well, which turned him on even more—if that was even possible. Their lip action was legendary in its fierceness; they clung to each other, yet fought as well, her hands and fingers clawing at his back and waist.

  She grasped his ass with one hand while the other grabbed his cock. She guided him inside her gently and slowly before she began to do major work. From her position on the bed, she used her arms to support her weight as she ground into him, her inner muscles clinging tightly in lost passion and agony around his cock and her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

  Linx finally allowed himself a deep breath and let go of his inhibitions that only applied to Trista. He grabbed her by the waist and began to pound into her relentlessly only for her to meet his deep, severe strokes with the grinding of her hips. She was so hot, her body was on fire and a thin sheet of sweat coated her body as he began to fuck her roughly.

  Trista smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck as she kissed him hard and this time, it was teeth and tongue, unbridled passion mixed with an animal instinct that could not be contained. They both let go and clawed at each other as if they were fucking as much as fighting and his cock had never been harder nor had he ever wanted to hold out for as long as possible, as he did now.

  Her beautiful hands left scratch marks along his back as she slammed her body against his, her breasts pressed firmly against his chest. His fingers dug into the soft yet firm flesh of her hips and gripped her tighter, harder. She trapped his tongue in her mouth with sharp teeth and then let go; he devoured her lips again and kissed her until their lips were bruised and ached with intense and explosive feelings of wild, untamed sex.

  Linx pulled out abruptly and flipped her onto her stomach. He loved looking at her, yet she’s wanted to see the real him and this was it. He joined her on the bed and pushed her forward with little effort before she got on all fours and exposed herself to him.

  God, every inch of her body was a work of art, even the sexually parted lips between her legs as her hand reached under and opened herself to him in a crude and erotic fashion. Her finger slid easily inside, before she circled that same finger around her clit pleasing herself.

  He kissed her at the base of her neck, where the rose tattoo was, and guided himself back into what had to be the closest thing to paradise, on this side of heaven. She was completely vulnerable and when she turned to smirk at him with mischievous blue eyes, the world seemed to come undone.

  He could see the crimson indents from his hands on her flesh and he grabbed her by her waist before he rocked in and out of her, slow at first before he thrust into her deeper, harder and with quicker thrusts.

  “Yes, fuck me,” she whispered.

  “Oh, believe me, honey, I will. You want your pussy pounded?”

  “Yes,” she gasped out loud. “I want you to really feel every inch of me without being afraid I’m made of glass because I’m not. I want you to let yourself go, Linx.”

  And he did just that, as he found a rhythm that pleased them both. He let himself go but rather than do her like they were starring in their own porn flick, he allowed himself to invade her deeply with his cock; hard fast strokes that hit her G-spot and had her panting, scratching at the sheets, as he admired her back tattoo that was a complete, yet ultimately beautiful, lie.

  With his body drenched with sweat, his hair damp, he leaned on to her and snaked a hand between her legs, where he found her clit and did slow circles with his index finger; he completely opened her up, molded her and made her one hundred percent his.

  She finally shuddered beneath him and with a loud wail, she cried, “I’m coming!”

  It was typical female behavior, but once her vaginal muscles clamped around his cock, he became a cliché himself when all he murmured was, “Fuck, baby, I’m coming with you.”

  Their orgasms, almost perfectly in sync, washed over them in waves that seemed never-ending and he didn’t withdraw until his dick was semi-soft—with that, he collapsed on his back.

  Trista sidled up to him and laid her damp head on his chest as he stroked the wet strands of her hair and concentrated on how complete he felt.

  It was, and never had been, about them completing one another.

  They couldn’t and besides, it was just a sorry, silly quote from a popular Tom Cruise film.

  It coul
dn’t have been about them “fixing” each other either.

  The damage was done and they were pretty much fucked from the time they were born, but that was life and to truly love another person, one had to first learn how to love themselves.

  It was about this.

  The complete and utter silence between them as they listened to their heart beats, yet her right hand and his left were clasped together and they wouldn’t let go.

  An unspeakable and miraculous bond had formed between two very screwed up people, but with each day, they became less damaged and more equipped to handle what life threw at them.

  No one ever said that they would have an easy road to climb, but he knew he would enjoy every step because he had Trista by his side—with her, he felt he could conquer the world and live to tell his tale about how he’d done it.

  “I love you,” he whispered to her. “I am so fucking in love with you right now that my heart hurts and my head aches. I didn’t believe it was possible to feel so much for one person.”

  Trista stared at him with big sky-blue eyes. “What do you love about me?”

  “The way you curl your lip when you’re annoyed and the way you smirk when you’re nervous. I love the way you drink your beer and when you look at me like that, I just want to dive into you. You’re remarkable, only eighteen years old and although you don’t think you know everything, you’re so perceptive and intelligent.”

  Linx paused and massaged her scalp. “This is what made me fall in love with you. Even when you lie, you’re open and honest to a fault. There is no deception in you because those eyes tell a story that made me feel like I had seen you bare and nude before I’d ever pulled one item of clothing off of you. While you’re the hottest bitch I have ever seen, your looks and that fabulous body are only a fraction of what makes me love you as much as I do.”

  Trista swallowed hard and kissed his chest. “I love your devotion and your gentle nature. Every day, you try to be a better person than you were the day before and you are constantly striving to improve yourself. I love you aren’t an alcoholic or a drug addict and how every solution can’t be solved with your fists. I love the simplicity between us. I knew what made you ache the moment those your eyes stared into mine. You’re a beautiful, fucked up man who only gets better because one day, you won’t always be so bitter.”