by Susan Arden
Perspiration pricked and dripped down my face. Shaking, I whispered, “Fifteen. T-thank you.”
“You’re doing wonderfully,” he assured me and I wondered if I was utterly transparent to him.
The feel of his hand on my bottom was nothing compared to this. Seven more and then it’s over. Seven lousy swats. C’mon, you can do this. After the last stroke, Graham took no pity on me. Again the flogger came down and agony flared into the recesses of my mind, consuming all the available space like a wildfire out of control.
“Sixteen. Thank you,” I hissed, expecting a moment to recoup. I was wrong.
He swung and I jerked at the contact of the leather strands connecting with my ass cheek. I clawed the sheets. This time, the smack obliterated my thoughts with a force incomparable to the others he’d delivered. I roiled in screaming white-tipped pain.
“Seventeen. Thank you.” I really wanted to holler, “Fuck you!” But I didn’t.
The next four lashes came in rapid succession. Eighteen rapidly became twenty-one. A blur of pain, words, my breath, his strength, my mind emptying. Emptying. My body on fire. I was ready to burst.
I’d done my part and only needed to last through one more smack. I couldn’t understand why my eyes were welling. I didn’t cry. Tears were part of other people’s worlds, not mine.
I concentrated on the swishing and forced myself to take a deep cleansing breath. I couldn’t draw in enough air by the time the tassels tore into my bottom. This one was worse than the others combined, and I bowed my head and coughed from the biting agony. A burst of sorrow rocketed out of my mouth, taking the number with it.
“Twenty-two. Thank you,” I yelled and buried my face into the pillow to hide myself, staunching the tears and sobs threatening to wrack my body. He had to see me shaking and what would he think—total submissive lightweight.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Graham was right there next to me on the bed. Lifting me upward, he grazed my cheek with his lips. “Shhh,” he murmured against my hair. “We did it. You’re so strong, Eliza. I’m so proud of you.”
I didn’t feel strong. I expected to be angry with Graham, but I was relieved. The smarting on my rear-end blistered, but it was my loss of control that hurt worse. “I don’t feel very strong.”
“You didn’t stop me, did you?” He wrapped his arms around my waist, as I stared up into his consuming eyes. He spread my legs and traced down the seam of my pussy. Slowly he swiped his finger up and down me, eliciting shivers as I sat on his lap. “You’re so wet. So swollen. You’d be unbelievable to fuck right now. Do you want us to stop?”
Oh God, I wanted him inside me. Rocking against him, I exhaled, expending a breath I’d held. “No.” Whatever I’d let go was from the core, and I felt lighter.
He thrust his finger into me and I cried out as he withdrew and plunged two of his thick, strong fingers back inside me. “That’s it. You love this. Don’t you?” Graham pumped his fingers into me, making me ride him.
“Yes.” He felt incredible. And I felt on fire and so alive. And yes, he’d nailed it—I needed him. “Please. Fuck me.”
“I want you to lie down over my lap. First, I need to take care of your cheeks and then I’ll give you what you need.” Graham’s hands skimmed across my skin as he spread a cool liquid over my burning flesh. As he rubbed up and down my body, my focus on the aching sting of my bottom gave way to a deep, coiling hunger inside me. A vacuum replaced the pain he’d helped me release.
“Thank you.” I whispered, glancing back at him, our eyes meeting until I blinked and looked away. I didn’t want him to see into me—this spot he’d opened felt too defenseless. He didn’t require gratitude like the Doms had in the videos I’d watched, but now I understood in part why the subs profusely gave thanks, or at least why I’d wanted to say it.
A smile had spread along his full lips—not the amused or cocky version, but one that shone in his eyes and touched something in me with a jolt of awareness. He was special. So very special and so very much in control.
“Eliza, I want you to always trust that I’ll take care of your needs.” He pulled me back against his body, his erection brushing up and down between my ass cheeks. “You’re mine now.”
I wanted him. Just like this: undone and open as I was in that moment. But that day would materialize when unicorns served coffee at Starbucks. I swallowed, feeling the stinging return to my eyes. Oh please, I prayed. Do not let me start to cry.
Luckily, he moved me to the bed and grabbed a condom from the nightstand as I wiped my eyes. In one fell movement, he was sheathed in latex, and he grabbed a bottle before coming back to me. The bed dipped and he was behind me, pulling my hips up as he brushed his cock against my opening. A bottle was squeezed but nothing fell onto my skin. The sound of his hands rubbing together filled the silent room. I looked back to find him stroking the head of his glistening cock.
“I don’t know if I’ll actually get to fuck your ass tonight. I believe it’ll be your first time, and I won’t have this night go down as anything but what you need.”
“I thought you said I was strong. I promise, I can take what you’ve got,” I said in a hoarse voice, refusing to have him think me fragile.
“This isn’t one of those times to up the ante, Eliza. If it hurts too much, there are things we can do to lessen the pain. Promise me, you will let me know if the pain becomes unbearable.”
“Does that mean, you’d stop and we’d be over?”
He paused mid-stroke, his expression tense. “That’s not how this part goes. If your needs require that I use a plug to stretch you, I will. That’s not quitting. I’m here to deliver what you need and prepared to do so.” He resumed stroking his cock, captivating me with how he handled himself.
“Oh, I promise.”
His cock, even with the condom, was a deep purple and he looked ready to explode. He didn’t order me to face away, so I watched everything he did. His hands were on my bottom, lifting my hips and wedging himself between my legs. “I want your head down. On the pillow. Keep it there. Understood?”
“Yes.” I did as he asked. “Like this?”
“Perfect.” Graham spread my cheeks, the bottle was squeezed again, and I felt the warm rush of liquid on the seam of my ass. “Just the tip and I’ll gauge if you can or cannot take what I have to give.” His voice came out strained as he moved closer between my legs, standing on his knees right behind me.
He grazed his erection against my opening, releasing bursts of erotic pleasure that had me arching up to get closer to him. “I’m fine, I need you deep inside me,” I replied, my body on fire, and the space between my legs throbbing from all he’d done already.
“When I say inhale, do it.” His hand rubbed up and down my ass and stopped. “Inhale.” He pushed a finger inside me slowly, and I whimpered from the sting.
With his other hand, he stroked between my legs, sweeping his finger over my sensitive clit and I moaned, “Please.”
“Are you ready for more?” he asked as he fingered my pussy. Of course, I wanted more. I wanted all of him.
“Affirmative. I want you filling me up.”
“Okay.” He pushed his finger further into my anus, and my stomach muscles clenched at the piercing sting. “Relax for me. Let go and let me,” he whispered.
I unclamped my lip, which I’d been biting, and exhaled as he suggested, releasing my hold on the pain. I let it go and the agony lessened. Slipped away. He withdrew his finger only to plunge it back into me as I arched and pushed myself against his hand. Each time he pumped, I moved against him as throbbing spasms built and snaked through my body. I ground out, “Keep. Going.”
He leaned over me, removed his finger and whispered, his hot breath spilling over my skin. “Can you take two fingers?”
“I think.” Ordering a drink based on fingers would never be the same again.
He squeezed the bottle and pressed his fingers against me, sinking them into me. “Inhale, baby.�
�
Shattering waves of pain returned with a vengeance, shooting down my hamstrings. I muffled a pained cry, lifting the edge of the pillow, and shutting my eyes.
“Talk to me,” he commanded, slowing his hand as he leaned over me.
“I’m fine,” I choked out in low voice.
Gently moving my hair so he could see my face, he rested his arm on my shoulder. “Should I stop?”
I glanced over to find his dark eyes troubled, and a sharp piercing went through my chest. “Please don’t. It feels…different, but after the stinging stops, it’s really good.” As before, the roiling heat evolved into a biting sting woven with erotic pleasure. Different. Yeah, this was off-the-charts and unlike anything I’d experienced. What he’d done had me to the edge as my heart pounded. There was no place to hide. I was there with him. So there. Yet I needed more of him to get to other side of erotic agony where the doorway to bliss existed.
“Baby,” he murmured, kissing my shoulder. He ran his hand down my body and caressed me between my ass cheeks.
Slowly, he inserted his fingers into me, then gradually he began to pump his hand against me as the pain eroded into erotic sensation. Faster he stroked his hand and I rode his fingers, my pussy throbbing while we moved in synch. I could feel the muscles in his arm tighten, and his breathing quicken as he said to me, “Let’s see if we can get you off.”
“Please,” I begged, glancing at him moving behind me. Graham slid a finger into my pussy simultaneously as he breached my ass again. No more pain.
He pumped his fingers into me, unfettering scores of tantalizing erotic pleasure. His fingers curled and alternated between stroking my flesh to slamming into me. Graham’s touch unleashed scalding-hot bursts of pleasure that exploded inside my belly. I drenched his fingers and tipped my hips up, wanting him to go deeper.
Oh God, I understood the fascination with anal. I rocked against him, his fingers plunging into me fast and forceful, the feeling more intense as we moved together. I was lost to the stream of sensation, craving all of him inside me. He didn’t stop until stars exploded in my head and I called out his name. I reeled, thrashing like a wild creature, wanting to get free and wanting him to go deeper all at the same time.
He altered the rhythm, and I felt the tingling sensation build and noticed the sound of the bottle being squeezed. I begged him with guttural tones and half-words to keep going as he drove a vibrator inside my pussy. My orgasm exploded, and Graham instructed me to push my hips back. He inserted two or maybe three fingers inside me with a sting of glittery pain mixed with exquisite pleasure.
“I’ve got to fuck you. Can you take me?” he asked, rubbing his cock in between my legs.
“Yes. Do it. I’m so close to coming again.”
“Baby, hold back this time.” He pumped the vibrator in and out of me, forcing me to wait when I was ready to shatter again. “Inhale,” he murmured. “You’re so wet.”
“Do what?” My foggy brain didn’t understand.
Removing the vibrator from my pussy, he repeated his command. “Eliza, breathe for me.”
I lifted my head, filling my lungs, and he drove himself into my ass without stopping. The pleasure transformed into red-hot stinging that ripped through me as I lurched forward to get away.
“Graham,” I gasped, staring at the diamond pattern of the leather headboard until the shapes melded together.
“Steady,” he grunted, his hands curled around my hips and holding me still as he stretched me. I exhaled and lowered my head, seeking to soften the pain. “Breathe for me, baby. Tell me when you’re ready for more.”
I whimpered, exhaling a breath. The burn diminished, and I stopped fighting the pain under Graham’s hands massaging over my back and down to my ass as he filled me with his cock. My pussy pulsed as discomfort gave way to blossoming need and I lifted my head.
“More. I’m better.” Tipping up my hips, I rode the head of his cock.
“God you feel so good like this.” He hoisted my hips as I squeezed around him. His hand rubbed up my spine and returned to my bottom then dipped between my legs, swirling delicious swipes across my clit. Slowly, he ghosted the tip of his finger over me, unlocking electric bliss.
One of his arms wrapped around my waist, holding me in place as he repeatedly fucked my ass. Oh my God. His fingers magically circled my opening and surged in and out of me in a mind-blowing rhythm.
Graham held me captive, forcing me forget anything existed except us together. I lunged forward in time to the piston of his hips and rocked back, impaling myself on his cock. He pumped into me farther, going deeper and unleashing glittery bolts of pleasure that shot under my skin, exploding in my core until there was no way I could hold back from coming. I was there, so there, and I cried out, “Oh fuck!”
Graham chucked. “Hold on, baby.” I clenched my stomach muscles at the moment he must have flexed back and withdrew his cock in one slow pull.
“No. Please more.” I glanced over my shoulder meeting the fire in his stare.
“I’m coming for you,” Graham whispered.
Possessively and with his expert precision, he hauled me to him. He’d only stopped before he power-pumped his cock deep inside my ass again. He groaned, grinding his hips against me. Never had I felt this far over the edge, and I swayed, just to feel him tighten his hold on me. He possessed my body, and plunged his cock into me before withdrawing in a rapid ramming tempo, fueled by a raw force. He repeated slamming his dick balls deep into me until pleasure flooded my brain.
“Oh,” I moaned, pressing my head down. I couldn’t hold on much longer.
“Is this too much?” he growled, slowing and waiting for me to respond.
“Don’t you dare stop!” I was on the edge of another mind-tripping orgasm, and the pressure in my belly unfurled with the promise of extreme pleasure. The kind only Graham delivered.
“What does it feel like?” He drove his cock into my ass, fucking me, owning my body and that, more than anything, was what I sought. With each of his powerhouse thrusts, he shattered the binds I’d used to tie myself together.
“Please.” I arched my hips upward, seeking him, and feeding off the delicious sensations running rampant through my body. I murmured what I wanted, “More. More.”
“Eliza!” His voice echoed in my head. He slammed his cock into me, reaching around my waist, and finger fucking my pussy. “Tell me what you feel.”
So over the top, I tried to form words but ended up repeating, “More. Please. You feel so good inside me.”
“Fuck, that’s it. Come for me, baby.” A spasm rocked his body and he held onto me, digging his fingers into my hips. I stopped holding back and dove off a cliff into an ocean of ecstasy as he pumped his hips faster, calling out my name. I glanced back at him and his eyes locked with mine. God, seeing him coming undone, I felt the way he looked—shattered.
On the next breath, he pulled me down next to him. “Eliza, there’s nothing in this world like fucking you.” We were still connected, and he bent over my shoulder and kissed my neck, sliding his hands up my waist and cupping my breasts. “How do you like my world?”
Apprehension no longer flooded me. His control and domination had warmed my body in so many ways, in previously unreachable petrified places. I gazed back at him, wondering how it would feel to be spread out on the bench he’d shown me, letting him bind me. How much did I possess that required an exorcism like the one he delivered? I didn’t want to dwell on it. Not right now.
Instead, I pulled him into a tighter embrace and murmured, “In a word. Unbelievable.”
When he chuckled, the rumble from his chest vibrated against my skin. “That’s how I perceive you. But you’re here. In my bed and very real. Just where you belong.”
Damn. Why did he have to be the only key holder to the closet housing my inner demons? It’d be easier to have exorcised that dragon with someone who’d didn’t look this gorgeous, talk this smart, or smell this good. Six months of thera
py with a man who used rough sex in the most emotionally fragile, tender way was the ultimate gamble and not exactly a what happens in Vegas kind of thing. I didn’t have a degree in psychology, but even a doofus could conceptualize that this type of intimacy was playing with fire.
I arched back, and he pulled out of me. He sat up on the side of the bed. I didn’t move, not knowing what to expect as my body adjusted to being without him inside. He walked inside the bathroom and I heard water running. He returned with a steaming washcloth and a hand towel thrown over his shoulder.
Graham patted the side of the bed. “Come here.”
I nodded, moving over to him. In a heady afterglow, I gave into him, relishing the feel of his powerful hands on my skin, and the herbal scent emanating from the warm moist towel. He wiped my body down and patted me dry. Graham reached for the bottle of aloe and squeezed some lotion onto his palm, then massaged my ass cheeks and upper thighs. The cooling aloe helped the stinging to diminish further. “Do you want something to drink?” he asked.
“No. I’m good. Thank you for what—”
He pressed his finger to my lips. “You were the one who shared something precious tonight. Thank you for trusting me.” He bent and kissed my lips before returning to the bathroom. Alone, I glanced out the windows, kicking my leg up and down, thinking about how he’d disciplined me yet masterfully cared for me afterward.
“How’d you learn to do this?” I asked when I’d had a chance to digest some of what we’d done. “This obviously isn’t something you learned in college.”
“We all go through training for anything we’re proficient at. Same with this,” he murmured, the side of his jaw rubbed over my shoulder in a prickling line to my neck before he flipped me over. “Same as you. I’ll train you well to be my submissive.”
“That could take years.” Suddenly my eyes widened. “So you were also trained.”
Graham mimicked my response before he laughed. “Don’t be so surprised. I wasn’t born with this knowledge.”