by Susan Arden
“Lie down.” I rose and went to her wall and pressed the button on the intercom. “Hello?”
“Miss Alluete, Mr. Gordon is here.”
I paused, my heartbeat pounding in my temples. “Send him up.”
“Very good.”
I leaned against the wall and my chest convulsed. Graham would be here in no time. The apartment was silent. My body felt heavy and tired, just as tired as Marie who slumped over the arm of the sofa with her head down. I wasn’t prepared for him. Not in my current state of confusion. The story Marie had shared had me spiraling to make sense of the man with too many facets to his personality to count. It wasn’t easy to pin him down, except that he got to me. Deep. If anything, this piece of the Graham puzzle only alerted me that I’d managed to walk right into a highly charged and unresolved emotional mess. So electrified and cutting he kept it locked away.
Graham, Marie, and I all had issues, and my heart squeezed tight for him and for her. God, I shook my head in disbelief for the level of pain he carried. To think, I’d come to him for help, but dammit he was hurting too.
I had to tell him this wasn’t going to work if he kept me shut out. My hands trembled as I interlaced my fingers. They were freezing, and I rubbed my hands down my dress, touching the soft velvet as I walked to the foyer and paced in front of the door. He rapped loudly, and I flinched. I actually shivered, taking hold of the doorknob, and reminded myself I was in the right. Not him in being a one-man powerhouse. He had to trust me if we had a chance in hell of staying together.
Opening the door, I expected to see a fuming man. Never one to disappoint, his expression took me back. Dark could get so much darker.
“For the love of God, Eliza, what were you thinking? Do you know how worried I was? For twenty minutes, I thought you’d been taken by—”
Interrupting him, I simply said, “I left.” My chest hurt from seeing him in the doorway, the frustration seething in his eyes. Knowing a little part of what was behind it, I hungered to get close to him, but no. We were at a standstill. I had to remain strong. “Did you want to come in?”
“Just get your things. I’ve come to take you home.” He stormed inside, then slowed as he glanced at Marie. “What’s wrong with her?”
“Tequila. Six or so fingers. She’s…tired.” Marie’s eyes were closed. She looked totally out of the picture. I couldn’t bring myself to say dead to the world.
“I can’t believe you left. Without a word.” Graham didn’t look at me. Instead, he stared down at Marie while maintaining his distance a few feet away. I walked closer until he swung his glance over to me. His jaw clenched, and a look of fury filled in his eyes.
He crossed the space, not giving me time to assess how angry he was or how bad this situation could get. Jesus. I’d seen anger in various shades, but he was one completely different shade of pissed off. I realized he was exercising control and thanked God for both of us. His eyes flicked down my body. It wasn’t hard to see what direction his thoughts were careening.
“I didn’t like what I saw tonight. It’s not that I don’t belong—that’s a whole other point. This is about us.” I backed up.
“I couldn’t agree more!” His hand closed around my arm, yanking me against him as he hauled me farther into Marie’s apartment. Crap, he better not be taking me to a bedroom. He pushed open a swinging door and didn’t stop until I was up against a counter in her kitchen. Towering over me, he moved closer. “You’re not leaving me.”
“If things don’t change, it might be for the best.” My head pounded, but the blistering heat from Graham’s eyes made me forget everything for a beat.
“Oh, and you think it was a regular party for me, having to deal with half of New York looking for a handout, a connection, another piece of me, and then to find you missing on top of that?” He shook his head, staring down at me. “You have some explaining to do. This is the first time in a long time I have been this close to losing it. But tonight, you really managed to pull one off.”
I retorted, “I didn’t do anything outlandish.” He gripped me hard, and I just peered back at him, unwilling to cry out when his fingers hurt my wrists.
“Leaving me is fucking the last thing I expected from you tonight. How many times do I need to remind you? You. Are. Mine!”
“Oh.” I arched a brow. “It’s different if it’s scheduled. Say in six months.”
“Eliza, you need to get hold of your mouth. I understand your anger. It’s normal given what you had to go through tonight. But I’m taking steps to minimize that bullshit from ever happening again. To you. You’re what matters to me. I thought we had trust going for us.” He loosened his grasp, sliding one his hands up to my arm before he tightened his hold again. With his other hand, he secured me by my waist. His hips pressed into me, his cock rigid and demanding, and his anger roiled in hot torrents from his body.
“Key word ‘us,’” I whispered, followed by, “I trust you, Graham. So very much. What about you? Easy to give advice. Didn’t you once say to put your money where your mouth is?” I stared back at Graham, watching him carefully—his expression, his breathing rate, his stance. Expecting any second his control would kick in and I’d encounter his stoically cool veneer, masking his anger. Emotions weren’t efficient in his world. Graham’s eyes darkened. He was so upset—I didn’t know if he’d turn on his heel and leave me here.
“What are you talking about?” he sneered, a muscle ticking at his jaw.
“I need more from you. This isn’t about what happened tonight at the museum. That’s just a symptom of the underlying issue. If you’re going to keep everything inside, locked up, what’s the point of me opening up to you? I don’t go around sneaking or snooping. I respect your privacy. I may not be a business genius, but I’m here for you. Only you. You ask for my trust, but what do you really give in return aside from the things you can purchase?”
He winced, and I realized I hungered for more than his control. I wanted everything from him, and that might not be possible. We stood inside Marie’s neat and tidy kitchen, the silence deafening, and I feared it would spread, envelope us.
His thumb flicked along my skin and he exhaled, tugging lightly on my hand. “Believe it or not, I’m learning. But you’re not making it easy when you disappear on me.”
The feel of him worked me over good, leaving me with the need to reconnect to him in the most fulfilling way I knew right now. I longed to be naked and under him with my thighs open and him sinking into me. His ability to subdue me was galvanizing. Except tonight, that hadn’t happened.
“How is controlling me going to make your life more bearable? I’m not some doll you can put on a shelf. A plaything. You said you wanted me to help you. How am I helping reduce your stress if all you do is work and fuck me? You’ve got issues—deep ones. Like everyone. Welcome to the human race, baby.”
His gaze lifted and locked with mine, and he nodded incrementally, but the fire in his eyes burned even brighter. I felt our connection rush through me and I was a click away from running my fingers along his jaw. “Please,” I silently prayed.
He exhaled, “Jesus, you just don’t stop, do you? What the hell happened here? Marie got drunk, and now you both are best friends. Sweetheart, rule number one. Don’t ever turn your back on anyone in this town.”
“Including you?” I tossed back, unable to refrain, but the look in his eyes prevented me from saying more.
“No. But I can see trust doesn’t come easy to you or me—” He stopped. Whatever he was going to say, he kept to himself and stared back at me.
“Then why should I stay? Just answer the question, Graham. I need an answer. Just one.”
He shook his gorgeous head. “Fuck. Eliza, what do you want? I sure as hell know what I want. If we were alone, I’d make sure this type of behavior would never, ever be repeated.”
“I can see you want to, but that’s not an answer. That’s where you go to escape.”
He closed his eyes for
a second before he refocused on me and pulled me by my hips closer to him. “More than you know, but that doesn’t make it wrong. Baby, I need you. Is that what you want to hear? I’ll say it again, I need you! My life is in so many ways wrong side up…except when I’m with you. I don’t want you to go, and if you leave, I’ll fucking follow you. You’re mine.” Graham wrapped his arms around me and we stood there, staring at one another, my heart racing.
Slowly I lifted my hand and touched his jaw, tracing my fingers to his beautiful mouth. “That’s an answer. A damn good one.”
Graham bent down, capturing my mouth and pushing his hips fully, expertly against mine. His kiss was punitive, searching, and seizing. His teeth nipped at my lips, his tongue thrust into my mouth, adamant and unrelenting in his ability to control me. I whimpered, unable to hold back. Our mouths locked together, and I let him do as he wanted. His hands roamed over my dress, squeezing and bringing us closer, if that were possible while we were still dressed. My body quivered as I realized I was clasping him so hard my fingers dug into him, pressing up against him. Finally, he released my mouth, kissing the side of my face.
My chest heaved and my heart pounded as his warm breath spread over my skin. I knew there was no way I could resist another swipe of his mouth. We’d end up naked and screaming somewhere in this apartment, and I’d be lost as to what I needed from him.
I pulled back and said, “I want to know you, not simply the person everyone sees. You’re the man who dominates me in the bedroom. But I want to know more about the man who calls out my name when he’s coming. Let me into the world of the man who holds me in his arms, before you lock all the windows and doors to your soul. Let me in before it’s business as usual.”
Graham rubbed his hand across his face as though he’d been blindsided. I watched as his lips tightened. His chest rose and fell when he audibly exhaled. He lifted his chin, his dark eyes glinting in the dim light as our gazes locked together. “Baby, you’re asking for everything. I don’t know if that’s possible.” His eyes weren’t filled with recriminations or his usual blinders. There was something potently vulnerable. I swallowed, reaching out and running my hand along his jaw.
“If you want me to open up to you, then you’ve got to show some faith yourself.”
“What you’re asking isn’t going to happen overnight. I’m willing to try with you. That’s more than I’ve committed to with anyone for years since Christian and Erin. Shit, I don’t think I’ve said their name in years…not out loud at least. I give you my word; I’ll let you in if you promise not to disappear on me.” Pain blanketed his gaze but he didn’t look away as we searched each other’s eyes.
I wiped my fingers over his forehead and rose up on my toes. “I promise. No more disappearing acts.”
“Baby, you sure know how to finagle a deal.” A grin spread over his lips. “And speaking of deals. You owe me another ten.”
“After the museum and everything.” I felt my eyes widen.
“Ah. We haven’t even begun. The night is young and I’m not done with you even in the slightest. Let’s go home and you can see what I have in store for you.” He moved his hand, reaching up to softly trace the edge of my lips with his fingertips. “I want to be what fulfills you, since you’re exactly what I need.”
I pressed my forehead to his and whispered, “Let’s get Marie tucked in first and then we can explore our options.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Seated in the back of the limousine, Graham pulled me against him until his muscular thigh pressed into mine. “I realize tonight was a mess. I should have prepared you better,” he murmured, his arm wrapped around my waist. “What occurred makes it all the more apparent that you require immediate training. It would be remiss of me to let the moment slip by us.”
“Then maybe you’re the one who needs his ass spanked.” I volunteered, not expecting him to reach out and draw me to him without warning, tangling his hand in my hair.
“Miss Hillwood, don’t make the mistake of thinking you’ll be on top. That’s not how this goes down, baby. You’ve gotten the proverbial bit between your teeth. It won’t happen again.” He scraped his cheek against my jaw, infusing me with his scent. His sandpaper skin scraped my cheek and was a potent reminder of what lay ahead. My pulse raced with a throbbing that landed between my legs. His long fingers traced the edge of my neckline, brushing his fingertips over the tops of my breasts. I shivered, and the corners of his lips kicked up slightly at my response. “No matter what happened, you should have talked with me. If you shut down, things are going to get fucked up in a heartbeat,” he murmured.
“It was difficult, and I made the mistake of listening to Vinia.” I said her name, expecting him to flinch, but he only nodded.
“But,” he said, inhaling against my hair. “I can see we have an issue with how things have been set. Our agreement may need to be tweaked.”
“How? Are you going to put in a clause that requires you to be open? How does that work? I know you’ve been deeply hurt.” Slowly, I turned in his arms and leaned back to meet his gaze.
“What if it gave you the ability to ask questions? Say each day you had three or four questions you could ask about anything, and I answered you honestly.” The shadows from outside made it difficult to see his expression.
I shrugged. “You’d do that? Come on. How would I know if you spoke the truth?”
“Because you’d have to trust me, Eliza. This won’t work if you don’t give me a chance. And I think it should go both ways. We each get to ask questions. You’re not exactly transparent yourself.”
It seemed like we’d gone the distance tonight. Instead of him laying into me, angry and upset for what was a completely screwball evening, he was offering me a chance. I lifted my chin a degree. “You drive a hard bargain. I agree. I’ll answer your questions. Let’s start with three tomorrow.”
“I’m not the only opaque person here. Tonight. This is for us.” He pulled me from the car as soon as we’d parked. Out on the sidewalk, at the foot of the steps, he circled his arm around my waist, his fingers delivering a squeeze to my bottom. He didn’t release me but tipped up my face, and bent to kiss me. His lips captured mine, slow and deliberate, sucking my lower lip between his teeth. His warm mouth tasted delicious and inviting, and arms held me spellbound for a few moments as I rubbed my hands over the sculpted contours of his shoulders. Nothing existed except the carnal sensations he unearthed within my body.
Anticipation spiraled low in my belly. A teasing coiling of primal need—a reminder of what I’d already experienced with him bloomed within me.
“Please,” I moaned, hungry for more of him but unwilling to give into the consuming emotions bubbling upward for fear of drowning.
I desired his control but also his openness. It was a paradox that left me clawing for his strength transcribed in a powerful sensuality—him bending me, branding me, tattooing his domination all over my body. I craved to feel the erotic force he wielded in the only fashion I experienced: his hand spanking heat across my skin. With him, I wanted more and desired that he take me to the brink, unlocking all my bedroom fantasies. This hunger for him to exert his authority over me was near to unstoppable. I desired Graham’s commanding ability to dominate and ironically free me.
He lifted his handsome face, the shadows accentuating his exotic, predatory beauty. I reminded myself not to stare. “What are you thinking?” he asked, slipping his fingers between mine and tugging me up the stairs.
I laughed a little more than nervous. “What lies ahead, of course.”
“Ah, yes. Do you mean next week?” he teased, unlocking the front door. “Or do you want me to tell you about your immediate future?”
“Immediate. Please.” The words slipped from my lips as we entered the foyer.
He closed and locked the front door, set the alarm, then turned to me, grabbing both of my wrists in his hands.
“Little dove, I’ve waited patiently all night for
this moment.” He walked me backward to the wall and raised my arms over my head, pinning me. His gaze traced down my body before he pressed his hips forward, grinding into me and kissing me.
“Graham, tell me what you’re going to do to me,” I moaned as he sucked and bit my bottom lip. He drove me right to the brink with his incredible mouth.
“Think on this. You bound to our bed. And me spanking your lovely pussy. Then fucking you like you deserve,” he murmured, the vibrations of his voice mixed with his mouth and then his teeth as he kissed, nipped, and whispered his plan to bind me to his bed. “God, I’m going to make you scream my name tonight. Fucking loud!”
* * *
After stripping me naked, he softly spoke, “Lie down, face up. I want you to ask me whatever questions you have while I get you ready. Then afterward, we won’t have time for explanations. Understand? I want you to give into sensation without the confusion of unnecessary talk. Our bodies are enough.” He wore only his dress pants. Without a shirt, the muscles over his body flexed with each of his movements.
“All right.” I watched him tie each of my wrists with silk rope. “How are you connecting them?” I asked, unable to see where he attached each rope and knot.
“The edge of the mattress. There are eye hooks partially hidden.” He carefully threaded the rings, pulling each rope tighter. He tied the loops around my ankles into square knots, his fingers brushing over my skin and making me tingle.
He returned to the nightstand, pressing a switch. The bed rose as it had before. He stood near the edge, staring down at me, his eyes gleaming with an intensity I’d not yet witnessed.
“So beautiful,” he murmured, cupping one of my breasts and thumbing my nipple. He pinched it between his thumb and forefinger, fueling the swelter rocketing across my body.
I inhaled, trying to organize my thoughts, but I couldn’t. Not with his hands teasing my body. “More, oh God!”