THE BEACH WAS PERFECTION TODAY, I decided. The air was soft with spring, the sun was warm, and the breeze was constant enough to make sure we weren’t too warm. As I sat on our blanket, staring into the waves, I congratulated myself on having the idea to spend the afternoon here.
Vacations were not something that ever fit into either our schedule or our budget. That was why I was particularly grateful that we lived at the beach, where an afternoon mini-vacay was only moments away from home and cost us nothing. My kids loved the sand and the water, and all three were good swimmers already, thanks to Eddy. That was one gift my ex had given them, and I appreciated it.
I hadn’t planned today’s beach trip until I’d gotten into the car to pick up the kids from my parents’ house that morning. When I made the suggestion on our way home, it was met with cheers and excitement. Everyone pitched in to make it happen: the girls made us a picnic lunch and Cam packed the beach bag with towels, sand toys and sunscreen. We all changed into bathing suits and were in the sand before the hour was out.
They were all playing in the surf now, their laughter ringing across the light wind. I loved to watch them jump and squeal with total abandon since it reassured me that they really were happy children, that I wasn’t giving them too much responsibility and too many chores. Cam splashed Izzy, and Dee dropped onto her bottom, landing in the wet sand. Yeah, there was no doubt they’d needed this.
I’d needed it, too.
Cooper hadn’t stayed over last night. I’d dozed a few minutes after my earth-shattering orgasm, and when I’d woken up, he was moving me carefully off his body.
“I’m afraid I’m going to fall asleep.” He’d softened his words with a kiss to my forehead. “You have to get your kids in the morning, and I’m supposed to meet Lex and Jolie for breakfast, so I can take Lex back to my house for the day. I better go.” He’d dropped to his knees next to my bed, his face level with mine. “I wish I didn’t have to.”
I believed he meant it. But even though it made total sense—he was right, I did have to get the kids this morning—I wanted him to stay. Having him leave in the middle of the night made me feel like what we were doing was shameful and cheap. Like I wasn’t worth staying the night.
So when he bent over me, brushing hair from my face, and whispered that he’d see me next weekend, I shook my head.
“I can’t do this, Cooper. God, I wish I could. I wish I was built that way. But I can’t just sleep with you on Saturday nights and pretend it doesn’t mean anything the other six days of the week.”
He’d straightened, slowly, and nodded. I wanted him to argue with me, to tell me I was wrong. To say it meant more. But he didn’t. Without saying anything else, he touched my cheek and left me.
The wind picked up a little, tossing sand against my face. Squinting my eyes, I turned my head, looking down the shoreline. The afternoon was waning, and since it was a Sunday, most families and tourists had either left or were packing up. But one couple lingered near the water, holding hands as they walked. As I watched, the man halted, tugging the woman against his chest. He slid both of his hands up to her face, cupping her cheeks as he lowered his mouth to hers. Her arms lifted, her hands linking behind his neck.
Watching them, I felt as though I were intruding on something intimate and precious. And it hit me, suddenly and with a force that left me breathless, that I wanted that. I wanted what these two strangers on the beach shared. I had no idea how long they’d been together, whether they’d met yesterday or twenty-five years ago, but I could sense their connection even from here. I felt that with Cooper. I was comfortable with him on every level, and I wanted to be near him, all the time.
And I didn’t want to hide our connection. I wanted to walk on the beach with him, kiss him until we were both crazy with need, without worrying about what anyone else might think. I wanted to sit here in the sand, with my back against his broad chest, his arms loose around me as we watched my kids play in the breaking waves. I wanted to be able to talk with Lexie and know she was okay with her father and me together. I wanted to go with him to the posse get-togethers, have him pull me to him when I walked past, kiss me hot while he grabbed my ass, just as I’d seen Logan do to Jude.
But I had to face facts, and those facts told me that Cooper wasn’t looking for any of that. He liked what happened between us in bed. I was fairly certain he liked me out of bed, too. And there wasn’t any doubt he didn’t like other guys paying attention to me, if his hostile reaction to Alex last night had been any indication. But he didn’t care enough to make sure the world knew I belonged to him, and he didn’t care enough to disrupt his carefully put-together life to include me.
“Mommy, will you help me build a sand castle?” Dee had tired of running in the water. She plopped onto the blanket with me, digging in the bag for a shovel.
“Of course, baby.” I put on a smile and twisted to face her. We smoothed out a square of sand and then dug a deep hole to find wet sand. “If we want it to stand, we need to build a strong foundation before we add height. Let’s use this.”
As we worked, resolution took hold, and I knew what I had to do. I wasn’t going to get what I wanted, what I’d seen in that other couple, with Cooper. Not the way things were now, when he was happy just to count on me for regular sex. If I wanted commitment and security, happiness on a level that I’d seen in others, I had to find it myself. I had a good idea about where to start.
The Tide was relatively quiet on Monday afternoon when I pushed open the door. There were a few families sitting at tables, and a couple of Jude’s regular fishermen at the bar nursing their daily beers, but it was nothing like the hustle we’d seen this weekend or how busy it would get later in the week.
Jude stood behind the bar, leaning against a column with her arms crossed as she chatted with the fishermen. When she spotted me, her smile grew to spread across her face. “Well, if it isn’t the entertainment maven of Crystal Cove! Girl, you kicked ass Saturday night.”
I grinned. “Liked those receipts, did you?”
“I did.” She glanced at the men at the bar. “Can you guys fend for yourselves for a few minutes? Sadie’s around here somewhere if you need something.” Pushing off the wall, she inclined her head toward the door that led to the deck. “Come sit down for a minute.”
We sat looking out over the beach. Jude slid the sunglasses from the top of her head down over her eyes. “I’m glad you came in today. I was going to call you and see if we could talk this week.”
A seed of panic settled in my chest. “Really? Why? Everything okay?”
Jude smiled and reached across the table to squeeze my arm. “Emmy, relax. Everything’s fine. I just wanted to tell you how excited we were about this weekend. I think it was the biggest weekend the Tide’s ever had, in all its history.” She paused and sat forward to pull something out of her back pocket. “Logan and I’ve been talking about this for a long time, and I should’ve done it earlier. Em, we want you to start taking a percentage of the weekend profits. What you’ve done for weekends here has been nothing short of miraculous. You should reap some of the benefits.” She laid a long white envelope on the table and slid it toward me. “This check is from the past weekend. With our thanks.”
I didn’t move for a minute, and Jude gave me a little kick under the table. “Take it. It’s not going to bite.”
Picking up the envelope, I slit the top with my finger and glanced in at the amount box on the check. My heart pounded, and my head swam. For a minute, I really thought I might pass out. “Holy shit, Jude. Are you fucking crazy?”
Jude laughed, throwing her head back. “No, I’m not. What’s crazy is that I didn’t do this a year ago. I’m sorry, Em. It was never that I didn’t think you deserved a percentage deal, or that you weren’t worth it. But you know what it’s like. When you’re on your own, running a business that has to support your family, you tend to get a little . . . possessive. I was looking at the fact that the Tide now has to suppo
rt not only me, but Joseph and Lindsay, too.” She shook her head, smiling ruefully. “Logan had to smack me upside the head. He reminded me that I’m not on my own anymore, and that we don’t need the Tide to support us. Between his income and what we make in Holt/Hawthorne, we’re very blessed. So maybe it’s time for the Tide’s profits to benefit you—and Joseph’s family, too, of course.”
“Jude, I just don’t know what to say.” My hands were shaking. “This is . . . it’s huge. It’s life-changing for me. You have no idea.”
“Oh, I think I do.” She regarded me steadily. “I’ll never forget the day you came in here, Emmy, bringing the pies I’d ordered and telling me I needed to hire you as night manager. I already admired the hell out of you, but that day I knew you had balls to spare. Not many women could pull off what you’ve done. I’m proud of you, Em.”
Tears sprang to my eyes, and I blinked them back furiously. “I couldn’t have done any of this without you. And Daniel, and Logan, and . . . well, my mom and dad, of course. But you trusted me, Jude. You took a chance on me, first with the pies and then with the Tide. I owe you everything.”
“No, you don’t.” She shook her head. “Yes, we gave you a shot. But you pointed out what you could do for us, and when we let you try, it was you who worked your ass off to make it succeed. You gave it everything you have. Own it, Em. Be proud.”
I nodded and turned my head to look out over the ocean. Jude must’ve sensed I needed a minute, because she was quiet for a little while. When she spoke, her voice was lighter, almost teasing.
“I kind of hijacked you the second you came in. Was there something you wanted to talk about? God, please don’t say you came to give me your notice.”
Laughing, I shook my head. “No, not hardly. Actually, what I wanted to talk to you about doesn’t have anything to do with work.” I played with the corner of the envelope that still lay on the table. “Jude, would you set me up with someone? Like, on a date? A blind date?”
The expression of utter shock on her face would’ve been funny if I hadn’t been so nervous. Jude’s eyes went wide, and when she opened her mouth, nothing came out for a moment. I hurried to explain.
“I was thinking about what you said the other day, that you never felt like I needed another man in my life. And maybe I don’t need a man, but I think I want one. I don’t want to get to the point where the kids are grown and gone, and I’m suddenly alone.”
Jude nodded. “Of course. Did you—um, did you have anyone special in mind?”
“No.” I couldn’t meet her eyes. “I was hoping you and Logan might know someone.”
“Okay. What exactly are you looking for in a man?” Jude watched me carefully, as though she already knew the answer and was just checking to make sure I did, too.
“Someone who’s interested in a relationship.” That was a big one, since it was the one thing Cooper couldn’t offer me. “Someone who won’t mind my kids. Or even might like them. Oh, and please, no surfers.”
“Ha! No worries there.” Jude laughed. “What about physical traits? Do you have a type?”
I never thought I did, but immediately a man with short dark hair and intense blue eyes came to mind. With a frown, I pushed him aside. “Not really. I mean, if George Clooney’s available, I wouldn’t say no. Or eTatum. Oooh, or Jesse Williams.”
“Good to see your standards and expectations aren’t too high. Okay, let me think about it a little while.” She hesitated. “Emmy, you’re sure about this? There’s . . . no one else who you might be interested in? Who you already know?”
I felt the blush rising on my face. God, what had she heard? It didn’t matter, because the temporary insanity that was Cooper and me was over. I needed to take care of me, and a big part of that was finding a man I could trust, whose goals were like mine. Someone to hold me at night and be my date and sit with me on the beach at sunset.
“No one who wants the same things I do.” I set my jaw. “Nobody who’s interested in the long-term.”
Jude leaned across the table again, this time gripping my hand. “I understand, Em. Give me a day or two, and I’ll find just the man.”
I forced a smile. “Thanks, Jude. I knew I could count on you.”
Jude was as good as her word. On Wednesday morning, I was just finishing up a pie order when my phone rang.
“Get ready, girl. I got you a man.”
I fit the phone between my ear and shoulder. “Wow, you work fast.”
She laughed. “I do. Are you free Thursday night?”
“Thursday . . .” I cast my mind forward, trying to think. “I’ll have to see if my mom can watch the kids, but other than that, yeah.”
“If she can’t, I’ll come over and sit with them. Or they can come hang out with me. They love Logan’s pool table.”
“Oh, thanks. Now tell me about this guy.”
“He’s perfect, Em. He’s an attorney, and his office is in Logan’s building. They’ve worked together before—Logan’s given expert testimony for some of Travis’s cases, and Travis has looked over some of our deals for Holt/Hawthorne.”
“Travis?” I tried out the name. Travis. Could that be a name I’d call out in passion, as he lay with his head between my legs? I shook my head, frowning in annoyance with myself. Travis sounded like someone I could walk with on the beach. Someone who could hold his own with my kids.
“I set everything up,” Jude was saying. “He’s going to meet you at six out at Stefano’s.” The Italian restaurant was in Elson, the next town inland. “I figured that way you don’t have to worry about running into anyone you know from the Cove.”
“Oh, that’s a good idea.” The last thing I wanted was to see Cooper while I was out on a blind date. “How will I know him?”
“He’s going to meet you in the front. He’s got dark hair, and he’s fairly tall. I told him what you look like, so I don’t think you’ll have any problem finding each other.”
“Okay.” I blew out a long breath. “So I guess I’m really doing this.”
“At least you only have two days to work up a good nervous about the date. I figured it was better to act fast than to give you time to second guess yourself.”
Jude was right, but I did manage to worry myself into a wreck over the next twenty-four hours anyway. My parents were more than willing to come over and sit with the kids when I told them what I was doing, and they made a fuss over me as I came out of my room.
“Oh, look how pretty you are!” My mom clasped her hands together, smiling. “I can’t remember the last time I saw you in a dress, sweetie. You’re breathtaking.”
“Do we have this guy’s name? His phone number? The license plate of his car?” My father was suspicious. He was out of practice, since I hadn’t gone on a date with a new guy since I was fifteen. And look how that had turned out.
“Daddy, it’s fine. Jude and Logan know him. I’m sure they have all his pertinent information and maybe even an extra key to the dungeon where he locks up women for his . . . experiments.” I raised my eyebrow, but my father just shook his head.
“You can yuck it up, Em, but I watch the news. I watch Dateline. I know what goes on. Does your cell phone have a tracker on it? Does your mother know how to use it?”
I picked up my keys and purse. “Thanks, Mom, for doing this. Daddy, I’ll check in by text every fifteen minutes. If I miss one, you can send out the cops.” I kissed the girls and ruffled Cam’s hair. “Keep it down to a low roar, you guys. Love you.”
The drive over the bridge out to Elson only took about fifteen minutes. I was a little early, and I took a deep breath as I walked toward the porch. A man leaned against one of the posts, hands in the pockets of his khakis. His brown hair was a little long, skimming his collar, and when he glanced up, I saw his eyes were dark.
Good. No blue eyes. I couldn’t handle a date where I spent the whole time comparing the guy to—someone else. If this was Travis, I’d be okay. His height was average, and he wasn’t bad
looking. He seemed . . . I debated the right words. Comfortable. Easy. And wasn’t that just what I wanted?
“Emmy?” He spoke my name as I climbed the steps.
“Yeah, hi. You must be Travis?” I offered my hand, which he took in both of his. I should’ve found that gesture charming, but instead it felt like a little too much.
“I am. Wow, Logan said you were pretty, but he didn’t tell me you’re a knock-out.”
I barely held back from rolling my eyes. “Thanks.” I searched for a return compliment, but I came up empty. “So should we go in? I’m starved.”
Travis grinned. “Sounds good. Me, too.”
The nice thing about having a blind date at a restaurant was that the first fifteen minutes were taken up by being seated, the waiter taking our drink order—we both requested white wine—and the two of us examining the menu while we discussed options.
“Oh, their clams over linguine look good.”
“Really?” I tried not to gag. “I’m not big on clams myself. I was looking at the chicken Parmesan. That’s always a safe choice.”
“You eat chicken?” There was a note of judgment in his voice. “I’ve been a vegetarian since I saw that movie about the practices of most poultry and beef farms.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that statement. If I claimed ignorance, I was afraid he’d tell me about the movie and I’d never be able to eat. If I said I was familiar with it, he’d think I was a heartless bitch who just wanted to eat, regardless of what had happened to her food before it reached her plate. It was a lose-lose situation.
Luckily for me, the waiter appeared at the table before I could choose the lesser of two evils. He set down our wine glasses and stood poised to take our order.
Travis inclined his head. “Ladies first.”
Shit. Now I had to figure out something fast. “Ah, well, okay. I guess I’ll have the capellini with tomatoes and basil.” There, that was a safe choice, unless Travis had something to share about the cruel treatment of tomatoes during the harvest.
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