by Susan Meier
Romancing!
Even the word was seductive and wonderful and sent a spasm of joy down her spine.
She was glad it was spring, glad it was warm enough that she didn’t need a coat, because she could physically feel his arms around her. She could feel every delicious sensation when his hands began to restlessly roam her back, as his tongue plundered her mouth. She could feel the press of their bodies as they strove to get as close as two people could possibly get. She could feel everything. Every fabulous sensation from fabric to flesh to physical reaction.
A long-forgotten warmth began to grow in her middle. Her skin began to tingle. Jack’s hands were no longer restless or subtle. As if he could read her internal responses, the movements of his hands became slow and purposeful. One minute, he massaged her back as if lulling her into a completely relaxed state. The next he slid his hands to her torso as if pleasing himself by discovering her shape.
The heel of his hand brushed the bottom of her breast and Molly’s response was immediate. Longing spread ripples of fire through her. Her nipple pebbled to life, yearning for his touch. Need weakened her to the point that she had to concentrate to keep from shivering.
As if sensing her reaction, Jack palmed her breast Rubber kneed, Molly clutched a handful of his jacket. She was vaguely aware of the fact that they were in the hall in front of her apartment door, and that somehow or another they were going to have to get inside, but she was also aware that if she said anything, did anything, all this might end.
“Molly,” Jack whispered against her mouth.
She swallowed. “Yes?”
“I think for both of our sakes I’d better leave.”
She supposed that was probably true. They’d gone from being friends to nearly being intimate in a matter of minutes. Given their history, his past and her future, entering into a romantic relationship wasn’t a decision that should be made in her hallway.
Jack pulled away and stared into her eyes. She knew he saw confusion, desire and a great deal of fear because that’s exactly what she saw in his eyes. She could handle the confusion. She could handle the desire. But she didn’t care to delve too deeply into the fear. Hers or his.
She drew a long breath and turned the doorknob. “Good night Jack.”
“Good night, Molly,” he said, and Molly left him standing in the corridor.
She closed the door and leaned against it, her heart tripping against her chest, her knees shaking and her tummy tingling with need. For four years she’d dreamed of marrying this man, and now that they were on the road to a real relationship, she was scared.
Well, not scared, more like wary. She had the feeling she’d been here before, but it hadn’t worked out Actually, she had been here before—when she had amnesia. That was why she felt as if all this would end at any second, because the last time they’d kissed like this it had ended when she got her memory back.
All she was feeling right now was a little déjà vu. There was nothing to worry about. Even Rachel’s warnings were no longer valid. As far as Molly was concerned. Jack had officially declared his intentions.
She stopped the tap of alarm at the back of her brain, kicked off her shoes and started to laugh.
It was going to work. She knew it was! Because now they were friends. Before all they had was chemistry. Now they had chemistry and friendship.
It was definitely going to work.
Jack tried not to think about what he had done, but even before he got in his car the demons of doubt attacked him.
What was he doing getting involved with a co-worker?
What was he doing getting involved with anyone?
Hadn’t he had enough pain for one lifetime?
And if he didn’t care about himself, didn’t he have enough respect for Molly to let her alone?
Or did he want to hurt her, too?
Jack didn’t call Molly the following day, so she didn’t see him Saturday night. Recognizing that things had happened very fast, Molly gave him the benefit of the doubt about no calling her on either Saturday or Sunday. What happened to them Friday night was unexpected. He might have had plans He and Dr. Tim could have scheduled an outing that couldn’t be canceled. There were plenty of valid reasons why he wouldn’t have called her.
She entered Barrington’s advertising department on Monday morning slightly nervous, but happy. Everything she’d wished for was coming true, and though it was wonderful, it also took some getting used to. She accepted her jitters as normal and walked into the reception area with a smile.
“Good morning, Sandy.”
“Hey, good morning, Molly,” Sandy replied, surprised. “I didn’t expect to see you here today.”
Molly stopped walking and faced Sandy. “You didn’t? Why not?”
“Well, Jack left a voice mail message that he’d be in Boston all week. I just suspected that you’d be with him.”
All the blood froze in Molly’s veins. Not because he had gone somewhere without her, but because he hadn’t told her he was going. Still, though she experienced a few seconds of sheer panic, Molly chose to pull herself together and trust him. After all. there were plenty of logical explanations for why he might leave town suddenly and not call her.
Unfortunately, there weren’t many logical explanations for why he didn’t call her all week. There were even fewer logical explanations for why he barked at her when she insisted Sandy transfer his Friday afternoon phone call back to her office.
“Jack, you’re my boss. I would think you would want to talk with me. You’re training me to take over part of this department.”
“And you’ve had three weeks of experience. Three weeks to get your feet wet. Plenty time to be able to figure out what to do on your own.”
Molly swallowed. “I do know what to do. I’ve been busy all week.”
“Then why the urgent need to talk to me?” he demanded angrily.
She swallowed again. Because I missed you. She almost said it. Or maybe because I thought you’d want to talk with me. She almost said that, too. In the end she apologized for panicking, told him she was fine and the department was fine, and hung up the phone. When she heard Sandy and Julie leave their desks for their afternoon break, Molly put her head down on her desk and cried.
“Good morning, Molly!”
Molly looked up from her paperwork to see Jack standing in her doorway. There’d been no call over the weekend. No apology. No explanation. Nothing. Which meant he must have decided to ignore the kiss they’d shared, because it appeared they were back to being boss and assistant.
“Good morning, Jack.”
In his usual I’m-everybody’s-best-friend kind of fashion, he flopped into the chair in front of her desk. “So fill me in on what happened while I was away.”
“Not much, really,” Molly said, fiddling with her pencil. “I mean, we made progress on all our campaigns. I chaired the interdepartmental meetings. I reviewed everyone’s weekly assignment sheet.”
“You see,” Jack said happily, “I told you you didn’t need me.”
For thirty seconds Molly only stared at him, wondering if he’d meant for his statement to be double-edged. She considered asking if his behavior and that statement were designed to let her know that the kiss they’d shared two Fridays ago had been a mistake. But she knew better than to ask. First because that kiss merely was a kiss. Second, this situation was worse than her amnesia. It was one thing to genuinely believe something that wasn’t true because you’d been hit on the head. It was quite another to draw a meaning out of something that hadn’t been intended. Her amnesia wasn’t her fault and it had embarrassed her mightily. Drawing the wrong meaning would be completely her fault and it would go beyond embarrassing her, it would humiliate her.
She cleared her throat. “No, Jack,” she said quietly. “You’re wrong. I might be able to handle things while you’re gone, but I still need you. You’re still teaching me things.”
Things I’m not exactly sure I want to kn
ow, Molly thought sadly. But he was still teaching her things. And she supposed they were mostly about herself and how naive she was.
Molly let two days go by before she walked into Jack’s office, binder in hand. “Have you got a minute?”
“Actually, Molly, I’m very busy.”
“I know you’ve been busy,” Molly amicably agreed. “But this whole Pendergrass thing is falling apart. I think we need your expertise.”
“Okay, leave your binder on my desk. I’ll review it and write you a memo.”
She swallowed. Ever since he’d returned from Boston he’d ignored her, avoided her and breezed past her as if she didn’t exist. She made excuses, blamed herself and even defended him. But this was inexcusable, and obvious. The man was supposed to be teaching her, yet he wouldn’t even stay in the same room with her unless he had to.
“Jack, it’s always much better if I’m with you while you evaluate something. I like to hear your entire thought process—the bad and the good—so that I understand both sides of how you made a decision.”
“We don’t have the luxury of that kind of time anymore, Molly. Things have changed. You’re going to be on your own a lot sooner than we thought.”
“That’s a good thing,” Molly said, slowly sliding farther into his office because she would have this discussion, not be brushed aside. “Because I want the responsibility. I even think I’m ready for it. But I felt I was learning so much more when we were working together.”
“What we had was two people doing one job,” Jack contradicted, rising. He walked around the front of his desk, took Molly’s elbow and guided her around toward his office door. “And that’s not bad for a few weeks. But your training time is over, Molly. Now you either sink or swim.”
“But...”
“Molly, if you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.”
Molly’s chin lifted. Essentially he was telling her that he didn’t want to spend time with her anymore. Maybe even that he couldn’t stand to be around her.
Had she offended him?
Oh, God! Maybe that whole Friday-night kiss had been another one of her delusions. Maybe he hadn’t been kissing her at all. Maybe the whole thing had been one-sided, but she hadn’t noticed because she wanted it so badly. Maybe she’d kissed him like a wanton, and imagined he was kissing her back!
As he tried to push her out the door, Molly dug her heels in and stopped them both. “Wait, Jack,” she said, mortification spreading through her when she realized that the reason he might be running from her was because she’d misinterpreted everything...again!
“God, this is so embarrassing,” she said, combing her fingers through her hair. “But I guess I owe you an apology.”
“Molly, you don’t owe me anything,” Jack argued, and began leading her out of his office again.
She dug in her heels again. “Yes, I do. If I misinterpreted...”
“You didn’t misinterpret anything. You didn’t do anything,” he said, sounding angry now. This time when he started pushing her out of his office, she let him. “All I’m trying to tell you is that we don’t have any more spare time. Can’t you leave it at that?”
With that he got Molly out of his office and closed the door. Not thinking of how confused she’d looked, or how unfair this whole thing was to her, Jack strode to his desk. He poured his attention into the mounting stack of work on his desk, but the blue of her binder caught his peripheral vision and wouldn’t let him go.
After ten minutes of trying to ignore the unignorable, Jack finally reached over and took her blue book. Unable to help himself, he sniffed it, and sure enough it held the scent of Molly’s cologne. He closed his eyes. Savored. Then held the cool vinyl binder to his cheek.
What in the hell was he going to do about her?
At the pizza party, when she hit her head and got amnesia, he had been determined to make her his friend, but he’d failed. Then he thought accommodating her amnesia would endear her to him. but that failed miserably and almost caused her to hate him. Then he thought the extra time they spent together with her as his assistant would bring them into a close friendship, but that failed in the worst possible way.
Because he’d kissed her. He’d really kissed her. In spite of the fact that he knew it was wrong, he’d kissed her.
And now nothing, absolutely nothing could be the same.
“Okay, people, listen up,” Jack said from his position at the head of the conference room table. They’d held a very successful weekly meeting. Every section of the advertising department was operating like a well-oiled machine. Even Molly’s assignments were right on target. Despite his ignoring her, she was handling things like a champ. He got a surge of damaged male pride that she truly didn’t need him, but reminded himself that that was for the best.
Now all he had to do was make a few closing statements, give everyone a little encouragement and get them on their way.
“Everything we’re doing is exactly on schedule, but I had hoped we could have at least had the Trenton and Boston projects running ahead of our timetable to give us a cushion.”
The group broke into a disgruntled rumble.
“I know that it seems like I expect a lot, so I’m going to ask a favor. Instead of standing at the watercooler, speculating about Rex III, use that time to push this department ahead of schedule again.”
Though most of his team broke into a chagrined laughter over being forced to admit they, like most departments, spent a little too much of their recent time theorizing about “The Third,” Jack saw that Molly’s face turned beet red. Noticing that forced him to remember their private conversations about Rex III, and that tripped the memory of that one fantastic kiss. Almost without warning, it stole through his system like a thief on a mission. Before he realized what was happening, Jack needed a deep breath to steady himself.
“That’s all. Meeting adjourned,” he said quickly and began to gather his things.
“I’ll get that,” Molly said, nudging his hands away.
Because her position had started out as being his assistant, she was always jumping in, trying to do things for him, but Jack didn’t want her to. She was ready to take over the greater responsibility that had been their true target, but more than that he couldn’t handle being around her anymore.
“No. Forget it,” he argued. “I’ll do this.”
“I said I’d get it,” Molly insisted, sweeping a spiral-bound report from his hands and stacking it on the pile in front of her.
But when she reached for the next item to be gathered, Jack had already lunged for it. Their hands didn’t really do much more than brush, but, as they did, a current of electricity ran up Jack’s arm. He stopped the ludicrous game of trying to beat her to the punch at straightening up and took two paces back.
This was getting ridiculous.
Because he was to the left and slightly behind her, Jack observed her as she gathered the weekly reports. Her neat hands with the well-painted nails worked swiftly. He studied her hands, noted the way her loose yellow hair swung as she assembled the collection in front of her, and let his eyes roam along the slope of her back and down her legs.
God, she had great legs.
He took a long breath trying to stifle the deep, passionate yearning that filled him. What the hell was wrong with him? He couldn’t understand what it was between the two of them that kept drawing them into the kind of relationship that neither one of them needed. They needed to be friends. They needed to be able to work together. They didn’t need to be lovers.
So why did he want it so badly, then?
Even as he realized the last, he also understood why he’d been like a bear with a thorn in its paw lately, and why, also, he couldn’t be in the same room with her. He kept trying to convince himself that he didn’t want her, didn’t want to curl up beside her in bed at night, didn’t want to make love to her until his muscles were screaming for rest. But the truth of the matter was, he did want her. He really, really
, really wanted her. But he also knew it wouldn’t work. Office romances never worked. Which meant that even experimenting wasn’t fair.
And since he’d experimented the night he kissed her, he probably owed her an apology.
“Hey, Molly,” Jack called softly, then held his breath waiting for her to glance over at him.
“Yes?”
“You know the other day, when you tried to apologize to me?”
Swallowing, she nodded.
“Well, you didn’t have anything to apologize for. I did.”
He watched her absorb that. Watched as her tongue ran along the rim of her smooth lips. “Maybe neither one of us had anything to apologize for.”
“No,” he insisted, because it was the right thing to do. “I shouldn’t have kissed you. It was wrong. I don’t want a relationship with you. I don’t believe office romances work. I think they only cause trouble. I do want to help you, though. I would like to go back to training you. Can we do that?”
She drew a long breath. “Yes, Jack. We can do that. But do me one favor.”
“Sure.”
She looked him right in the eye. Jack felt his bones melt and solidify simultaneously.
“We’re either one thing or the other. We’re either on the road to a personal relationship, or we’re friends who work together. This is it. You can’t change your mind again.”
He nodded.
“So we’re friends?” she asked, pushing him.
“Yeah, friends.”
“I thought I was going to marry him,” Rachel said, and though Jack sat listening with rapt attention, he couldn’t help but notice that the conversation made Molly incredibly uncomfortable. Rachel, Jack and Molly had left the crowd at Kyle Prentice and Cindy Cooper’s engagement party for a breath of fresh air, and were currently sitting on the stone wall of the courtyard of Rex Barrington’s home. But the conversation had taken an unexpected torn. With Rachel’s sudden need to bare her soul, Jack finally felt the Fates were on his side.