by Romi Hart
“And you’re opposite of what I usually go for. I mean looks wise, you’re beautiful, don’t get me wrong.”
“Uh huh,” I say, tongue-in-cheek.
“But you’re not in show business. You’re not just selling your body. You’re not just trying to hook up with a celebrity and get a good story.”
“Yeah but…what else?” I say curiously. “I know how guys think. And they always have a reason why they pursue one girl instead of another one.”
“Hmmm,” he says thoughtfully. “Because you told me No.”
“Really? No is what does it for you?”
“Yeah but…it’s not like, you know, proving something to myself. I’ve been there and done that. It’s just that…No is a good thing. Maybe No is what I like because it reminds me that life’s not always about winning.”
“Hmmm,” I say suspiciously. “And this all isn’t rehearsed? You don’t use this line on a hundred of your other hoes right before you…you know, touchdown?”
He smiles calmly in response. “Don’t believe everything you hear on television, Amanda.”
* * *
We walk onwards towards our respective vehicles, parked a safe distance away from each other, by my own request. Only a block more to go.
I have to admit, Nate Jiggur, the man isn't much like his TV persona. We talked more, almost two hours about…well, opposite things. Stuff we just don't talk about in our normal world setting. Nate loves talking about my family's guitar business. I like hearing about all the behind the scenes Dallas Cowboys strategies—which of course, I'm now sworn to secrecy.
But at least, I no longer fear him. He does seem perfectly capable of being a gentleman and that’s what I-
He stops walking and suddenly turns around, gently pushing me towards a nearby tree. He makes sure we’re away from other passersby and custard customers. He’s making his move.
I can’t help but stare at him, partly in awe, partly in curiosity…but mostly in disbelief at the audacity of this man.
“What are you doing?”
He reaches over, as effortlessly as he would throw a ball and swoops me into his arms. No one can see us. His hulking muscles are so inviting. His lips so smooth. His eyes are like fire, all consuming. He’s done this so many times before. I would be missing out to say no.
But that’s exactly what I do, as I turn my head and politely slide out of his arms.
“Nice try,” I say cheekily. “Let’s go back to the shop. I’m sure Stephen and Jan are worried about me.”
“You sure are a hard sell, Amanda Shannon,” Nate says, visibly frustrated and laughing at the gall of this girl—the only girl who’s probably EVER said no to him.
“Sorry. What you’re passing I’m not catching, Nate.”
“It’s cool. Look, all I wanted was a chance to get to know you. I’m glad you gave me that trust. Shall we part as friends?”
“Yes. And kick their asses this season, Nate,” I say, blinking my eyes in sarcasm.
“Oh you don’t even have to worry about that. Maybe a brother just has to win three Super Bowl rings to impress a girl.”
4
Nate
I don’t have nightmares. Nate Jiggur, the man, the legend, the monster ego—that motherfucker isn’t afraid of anything.
But Nate the man, the pathetic man I am inside, can’t even sleep at night. I’m not afraid of the upcoming season, no way. I’ve seen who we’re up against and I’m not even breaking a sweat. But women telling me NO, that’s the only thing that robs me of my sleep.
I don’t know why. Amanda Shannon thinks it’s because I want what I can’t have. But that’s not it. I’ve had what I can’t have. Hell, most of the women I score with don’t want me…until, of course, they realize they DO. But there’s something about Amanda that’s driving me crazy. I can’t put my finger on it.
Maybe it’s because I sense…she isn’t who she pretends to be. There’s something else going on with her.
But I know one thing. I won’t quit. I have to figure out what it is about Amanda that’s making my head spin. This is why, precisely why, tonight, no more helmets. No more padding. Tonight we play it raw. Tonight, I show up as my TV persona and break down her wall of defense. She can’t resist me. No one can resist Nate as seen on TV. Maybe that was my mistake all along. Being too normal and not over-the-top like I usually am.
Women don't want the man behind the mask. They want the mask…they want the superhero. And damn it, if that's what I have to be, that's what I'll be.
* * *
I steamrolled into Guitar World for the second time, this time in a limousine and dressed in a tux like I was a presenter at the Oscars. This time I wasn’t taking no chances. This time, I was going to treat her right—a night on the town, red carpet, and the complete dating Nate Jiggur experience.
“I said you owe me dinner, Amanda Shannon,” I said with a devilish smile. “And I’ve come to collect. Put on your best dress and let’s stun the world with our beauty.”
She resisted…but only for a moment. Deep down, she knew that she liked the dynamic that was going on. I was chasing her, and every time she pushed back I shuffled back, ready to make a huge pass on the 50-yard line. Every time she smiled and rebuffed me, my blood boiled—I was ready to play her game.
I brought her to Regina’s Café—the swankiest restaurant in the downtown area. Fifty dollars for a plate of shrimp, that’s how you know it’s good! Of course, I still preferred the custard personally, but I digress.
We dined like a king and queen. And only after the festivities, after the cameras photographed us and after people begged me for autographs…
THAT’S when we got to see each other and talk one on one, this time for real.
And now my moment has come. She’s been wined and dined and she’s tired of the chase. She knows there’s no sense trying to outthrow Nate Jiggur. And more than anything, she knows that she’s tired of depriving herself of pleasure.
Now she’s surely feeling what I feel. Now’s the time to make the play.
“So…I’m tired of being polite, Amanda.” I furl my brow and make sweet love to her eyes. My voice deepens and I feel the energy coming through the pores of my skin. I’m meant to be with this girl tonight.
“I want you. I’ve always wanted you. From the first moment we saw each other in the stadium. I was half naked and you were staring me down like you wanted to taste me like a buffet.”
She laughs. Good sign.
“I don’t know what it is about you,” I continue. “But it’s driving me crazy. The passion I feel for you is illogical, out of control. An act of nature. I want you like I desire food, like I desire cold water after a big game. Everything alive in me wants you. I need your attention. I need to do a dance just to keep you looking my way. I want just one thing out of life, after conquering the world. I just want to kiss you.”
She smiles at me. Definitely feeling something, I can tell by the way she keeps her eyes focused on me, even while her head turns backward in caution. Her breathing mirrors mine. Her skin seems flushed, hotter than it was before. It’s the same mating call language I felt hundreds of times before, right before a beautiful woman let me take her.
"Let's go somewhere," I say, building on the momentum. "I don't want to force the moment. Let's just test our chemistry. Let's go to Hawaii or something. Haven't you always wanted to do something wild and unexpected?"
“Well…” she says, definitely thinking about it. And that’s great news!
"Hmmmm. Just looking at you in those tight jeans made me tremble."
She laughs shyly. “You really think I look hot just plain old Amanda in jeans?”
“More than any woman I’ve met. You have a natural beauty. The clothes become you. You reinvent yourself. But you’re the perfect body. Not too skinny, not too full-figured. The perfect shape to make the dress come alive.”
“That’s nice of you to say,” she says, staring at me, daring me to reach ove
r the table and kiss her right now-!”
“I’m not nice,” I clarify. “But I always tell the truth. And the truth is, I want you. Ask me what I would do for you, right now. For the chance to kiss you. Ask me what I’d give up…how I’d embarrass myself in front of the world. But be careful what you wish for…because, you have no idea how much I want you.”
She smiles, never once leaving my eyes. Her lips looking pouty, her eyes darker. Like her body is already adapting to my chemistry. She wants me to take her right now. Anywhere. I can feel it.
“I’m glad we understand each other,” she says calmly. “And I appreciate that you respect honesty. So do I. Honesty means everything to me.”
“Me too.”
“So I do feel compelled to say…” She laughs. And laughs…and so I join her in snickering. I suppose we are giggling like high-schoolers, aren’t we?
“Please, say it. You could never shock me, Amanda.”
“Nate…I just don’t feel that way about you.”
My big smile slowly sinks back into the folds of my head leaving a tight frown.
“I…think of you more as a brother.”
“Say WHAT?”
“I’m sorry. I’m sure a lot of girls are attracted to you. But I’m not. Just being honest.”
“SAY WHAT?”
“I’m sorry,” she says, reaching out and touching my hands.
“Oh no, no, no, no,” I reply in mad confusion. Is she fucking with me? Did she just give me the friend-zone speech?
“I’m sorry. It’s not really you. It’s just that I’m not looking for anyone right now.”
“But…I could have sworn…you don’t feel anything for me?”
“No,” she says, shaking her head. Staring me straight through. She’s got to be lying! “I’m just not attracted to buff guys with big egos. Sorry. Nothing personal.”
She smiles.
“NOOOOOhohohohoho,” I reply back, the swagger in my soul returning. “You’re just fucking with my head!”
“Well…Nate,” she says tiredly. “That must be it. Because I’m sure not fucking you with my body. Now if you don’t mind, I think it’s best you pay for dinner and take me home.”
* * *
Motherfucker! What the fuck! She wants to friend-zone Nate Jiggur? Uh-uh! No woman has EVER friend-zoned Nate Jiggur! It's scientifically impossible! Not attracted to me my ass!
And she still made me pay for dinner! That’s five dinners she owes me now, an extra two dinners for insulting my pride AND my intelligence! Not attracted to me, I’ve dated movie stars! I’ve gotten freaky in the bathroom stalls with politicians’ wives! I’ve had threesomes on my SICK DAYS! And even when I was feeling fluish, I STILL made sure those girls came twice! And you, Amanda Shannon, say you’re not attracted to me?
Well…there was only one logical thing I could do after hearing that shit.
Live happily and move on? Yeah right. Did I live happily and move on when we were playing the Packers three years ago, and it was third and six from the Packers 12-yard line? The game tied 17-17 and I drop back to pass, scramble right and then dive into the air in the face of three Green Bay assholes? I gave up all regard for my own head and willed myself to a first down. Then my man Brian scored the touchdown two plays later.
Did I live happily and accept it right before that game? HELL NO! We were losing and I stepped up and made damn sure I was a legend.
And you Amanda Shannon, ain’t seen nothing yet!
I decided to hold an Amanda Shannon casting couch call, and find three dozen hot blondes in jeans to accompany me to the ESPY Awards. I narrowed down my selection to the one best Amanda clone—a beautiful twenty-something blonde that had Amanda's gaze. Laid back. Eager to listen. Reluctant to speak. But with eyes of contempt!
And oh yeah before we hit the ESPY Awards we made sure to make one stop.
* * *
“Hello Guitar World” I sing out to the room, calling over Stephen, Jan and Amanda. “This is Nate Jiggur just dropping in on all my platonic friends tonight! I figured before we drop by the ESPY Awards, where Nate is going to take home ALL the gold, I should introduce you to my new girl. The BEST woman I’ve ever met and yes, a woman I am VERY attracted to. The chemistry…the sex…the raw animal attraction we have for each other is palpable, I tell you!”
"Heeeey guys!" the Amanda look-alike says. "How are you? My name's Mandy."
“Mandy! Isn’t Mandy beautiful?” I say. “My God, I’m so attracted to her. But more importantly, she’s attracted to me. Isn’t that right, Amanda? I mean Mandy.”
“Right you are, Mister Sexy!”
“Oh yeah give me a little kiss, baby,” I say, leaning over and letting Mandy kiss me.
Amanda’s brother and best friend stare me down in spite. They get the message and look ready to punch a hole through me for my disrespect.
I am trolling them like a boss. I look over at Amanda wondering if my mind games are making her blood boil…
But to my surprise…
She is laughing her ass off! Really?!
I watch in confusion as Amanda laughs, cackles and guffaws at my appearance. She holds her stomach in pain, laughing so hard at my revenge. As if to say, Go for it, buddy. Take your Amanda clone and shove her up your ass!
“Dammit”, I mutter to myself, grabbing Mandy and heading out to the limo.
Let’s just do the damn ESPY Awards and go home. Now my night’s ruined.
* * *
Late night. I dropped Mandy off on time, as scheduled, and in full cooperation with the escort agency’s wishes.
Who am I kidding? I don’t want a clone of the real thing. I want her. And she really doesn’t want me. And I cannot get my head around that.
This time, I’m staying behind…watching from a distance. I parked my Jaguar a few blocks away from the modest Guitar World shop, and inside tinted windows so I can do a little stakeout.
I've decided to come back…just in case I see Amanda coming home for one last look around. The truth is I want to apologize to her. Again. Now away from all the swagger and ego boosting, I realize how juvenile and pathetic I looked trying to show off my Amanda look-alike.
I disrespected her. And now I feel like shit. Why can’t I just walk away? Is it really because she keeps telling me no?
I guess I just don’t believe that she’s not attracted to me. Maybe my ego won’t let me believe that. I admit…I’m not the most humble guy in the world. One of my faults, right? But fuck it, I led the Boys to two Super Bowls, goddamn it! The world needs Nate Jiggur! The world wants the dancer, the prancer, the kiss-stealing fine dining, bad boy.
And who knows…maybe the reason the REAL Nate Jiggur is so pathetic is because he doesn’t really exist. Maybe Amanda knows the real truth about me, the truth buried so deep I don’t even know it myself. That I have no idea who I am…besides the character I live.
I suddenly turn my head and give Stephen a shit eating smile. He’s found me out! He’s let himself inside my car in the backseat and is giving me a smirk.
Damn. Guess I’m going to have to have the Scary Big Brother talk now. Whether I like it or not.
“Jiggur,” he says smugly.
“Stephen, right? Fancy meeting you here…”
He raises his brow, waiting for me to explain myself.
“Damn…okay just answer me this, Big Brother. How did you know it was me?”
“Because,” he demurs, shifting back in the seat and relaxing. “You’re the only guy driving a Jaguar around this neighborhood.”
“Ahh, what a douchebag idiot that Nate Jiggur is, huh?” I say with a scowl.
“Look man,” Stephen says calmly, leaning back and making himself at home. Looks like this isn’t going to be a screaming match after all. “You’re my favorite quarterback of all time.”
“Thanks. I try.”
“We all know you do. But you have to know, Nate, you’re the LAST guy any brother wants messing around with his sister.”
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“Yeah. Guess I know that too. I guess you’ve heard all the stories about me? Fast times in the VIP section of the stadium, all that shit?”
“Hey man, you’re living the dream,” Stephen says. “What guy wouldn’t live the life you’re living if he could?”
"So you don't hate me? I mean…as a person? Obviously, as a quarterback, I'm God himself. But…I guess real life people living in the real world…pretty much know I'm shit, right?"
Stephen sighs. "Nate…I'm not here to say I'm going to kick your ass or call the cops if you harass my sister again. I mean…I AM, don't get me wrong. I am telling you to back off from my sister, you fucking asshole. That's just what big brothers got to do. We protect our little sisters. And that's a law that never goes out of style, you know what I mean?"
"Right. Yeah, I knew that was coming…"
“But that’s not the only reason I’m here. I know why you like Amanda. I know why every guy likes Amanda.”
“It’s not what you think…”
“You like her because you think you can help her. You think you can make her happy. You think you can put a smile on her face and that she’s going to thank you for the best two weeks of her life, or some romantic shit like that. I’ve seen it before.”
“You talk like she’s retarded or something, where are you going with this?”
“Because I’m telling you, Nate, there is no one special in her life. There hasn’t been for a long time. I mean yeah, she flirts with guys all the time. She likes the attention. But none of them really have a chance with her. She is closed for business. And that’s the way she wants it.”
“So you’re saying she’s just not looking?”
“I’m saying you’re wasting your time,” Stephen says glumly. “Go and score with another groupie or two. Or go win the heart of some other country girl who’s the opposite of your world. I get it, I know what you want. And I’m just telling you, you’re wasting your time with Amanda.”