by Diana Seere
This? This went beyond torture.
Their easygoing conversation made the situation worse. He liked her. Genuinely enjoyed her company. By the time Jess had taken her place beside Lilah, turned in profile to listen to Eva’s instructions, Derry’s stomach was in knots. His heart sped up to triple time without any movement on his part. A warm glow suffused him, the sensation so wholly original that he didn’t realize he was experiencing it until Gavin nudged him, finally, and whispered, “Had too much to drink?”
“What are you talking about?” Derry could tell from Gavin’s tone that his brother didn’t really believe he’d imbibed too much.
“You’re turning red. A flush from the wrong wine or… you’re nervous?”
Derry cast a bit of shade at Gavin. “You should talk. If you continue licking your lips like that, you’ll need to borrow some of that makeup girl’s lip balm,” he replied, nodding at Molly, who caught the gesture and gave him a dazzling, friendly grin and a wave.
Nothing.
He felt nothing beyond basic pleasantness. He smiled back, a bland movement of his mouth that was yet another formality in a room where the only person who counted was Jess.
And he could not have her.
Yet.
“Shut up,” Gavin groused, the tip of his tongue poking between his lips, halting, then retreating. If Gavin were in wolf form, his fangs would show through his sneer.
“Why on earth would you be anxious, Gavin?” Derry asked, all teasing gone from his voice. “Lilah is a stunning, intelligent, compassionate woman who is utterly devoted to you in every way. Fate brought you together. Destiny makes it clear she’s your One. Why the worry?”
Gavin went still as the words poured out of Derry, his eyes going unfocused as he let the message sink in. Derry’s own heart quickened. Every word he said about Lilah and Gavin was true. A green fist of jealousy gripped his heart and squeezed it, halting the beating.
Would he ever have what his brother had?
Without thought, his eyes darted toward Jess.
Her.
At that moment, Eva told everyone to relax for a few minutes while she left to handle some problem with the music.
With the rehearsal temporarily paused, Gavin let out his breath. He looked Derry up and down. “You’re sweating like a pig.”
“If there is a family of pig shifters, and I’m most certainly not of their bloodline,” Derry said, his voice filled with arch disdain. His heart lightened slightly, and his mind cleared.
Sarcasm: the refuge of the socially damned.
Gavin’s eyebrow quirked, his eyes jumping to Lilah then back to Derry. “No. I have to give you that. You aren’t five feet tall at best and albino.”
“Besides, pigs barely sweat. Whoever invented that saying was a dolt.” Derry’s huff was more forlorn than he expected, and alarm flooded his veins. He couldn’t stop looking at Jess, who was now animatedly talking about flowers with Lilah and the other bridesmaids, whose names escaped him for the moment as Jess brushed one long, honey-colored lock of hair behind the curve of her perfect ear.
He nearly groaned. A pang of emotion vibrated through him, and he reached for Gavin’s arm, the connection so needed. Gavin gave him a puzzled look as Derry opened his mouth to say so many words attached to feelings he couldn’t possibly describe. How do you share the truth with someone who isn’t the object of your desire about falling in love? How do you put into words the all-consuming sense that your world has changed forever?
While he knew he would say this to Jess, and soon, he needed the wise counsel of his brother, yet another new experience for him. Turning to anyone for emotional reasons was like learning a foreign language.
Derry opened his mouth, and before he could say the words, Gavin said in a low voice only he could hear:
“You look like you’re about to come in your pants, Derry. Do we need to go to the stables and get a set of horse blinders for you to get you through my wedding rehearsal?”
A wind tunnel sucked all the vulnerability off Derry’s skin, and he shot back, “You look like you ate tainted sushi, Gavin. Need a bucket?”
Where the hell was Eva? Could they please get on with it and release him from this torture?
“Aren’t you two a sweaty, flushed, nervous pair,” their oldest brother, Asher, said in his low, controlled voice, moving closer to them. “If it were five decades ago, I would think you’d been responsible for putting the live frog down Nanny Maisie’s trousers.”
“Actually, that was me,” Derry confessed, relieved to move from the dizzying emotional moment into safer territory. Jokes and sardonic barbs were safer than these chaotic feelings.
Asher’s mouth twitched at the corner. “Tell me something I don’t already know.”
I am hopelessly in love with a human.
The thought shot through Derry’s conscious mind like a cannon released in a battlefield. Asher’s body twitched as if a ghost had brushed against him in a hallway in passing. His eyes went troubled but turned to Gavin, not Derry.
Who stood there, sweating more, picking at his tie knot like an anxious gangster.
Asher’s steady hand went to Gavin’s shoulder. “Every groom has a moment of doubt.”
Gavin’s sharp look had no effect on Asher. “I do not have any doubt about my love for Lilah.”
“Then why the worry?”
“He’s human, Asher. We aren’t all blessed to have ice water running through our veins like you,” Derry said with a tight smile.
“Gavin is partly human, as am I. And you,” Asher said, his eyebrow barely moving, eyes on Gavin as he addressed Derry. A cloud of uncertainty surrounded every inch of Derry’s body whenever he conversed with his oldest brother, who was a mixture of a father, prison warden, and banker to him. Their relationship could be best described as distant, yet Derry had a reluctant dependence on Asher, and—if he let himself be truthful—a need for validation.
Validation that never came.
Gavin was the worldly success. Sophia was the girl. Edward was the baby. Asher was the patriarch. And Derry?
He was the court jester. The rake. The joke.
When Asher finally gave him his eyes, the look he saw in his brother’s face confirmed it.
Might as well play the part he was assigned.
“Part human?” Derry said, voice rippling low. “You would never know, Asher. I thought you were carved from the devil’s toenail and brought to life by—”
The joke died in his throat as Eva reappeared, clapping her hands to command everyone’s attention, her brow turned down as those intelligent eyes glowed with observation of the trio. She gave Derry a questioning glance, then said:
“Let us continue.”
Chapter 20
Eva joined them all at the mock altar, and music began to play, but Jess barely noticed. What she wanted to do was curl up with Derry and tune out the world. And even if she wasn’t looking at him, he still dominated her thoughts. With effort, she smiled stupidly at everyone and tried to act like the sentimental sister. It was easier when Lilah and Marilyn finally appeared, laughing as her sister pretended to throw aside her imaginary veil. Even in a hunter-green pantsuit, which she’d chosen because it vaguely resembled a man’s tuxedo, Lilah was stunning. Everyone stared and sighed.
And then Eva said, “Blah, blah, blah,” pretending to do the ceremony, and they filed out again. The sentimental words had washed over her, racing like a poem at a poetry slam, the cadence turning into a throbbing beat in her head that said just one word.
Him.
A thousand times him.
Derry was as charming and sturdy walking up the aisle as he’d been walking down it, and soon they were standing together behind the potted plant again, the sound of the drumbeat coursing through her veins louder than any doubt.
“I must release you,” he said under his breath. “Much to my regret.” His eyes seemed darker under those thick brows. Troubled. She ached to ask him what was wrong, to soothe whatever st
irred up the storm inside, and in that moment his face cleared. Oh, he was good. She saw the deliberate facade form like a force field around his heart, and she was both inside it and at a distance, watching.
They were a pair, all right. She knew exactly what he was doing.
And later she would ask him why and be there for him and make sure he knew that.
They stepped away from each other. “You’re a good escort,” she said. And a good person, she thought, the pulsing beat inside her fading the longer he remained near.
His smile reflected emotion beyond the surface. “My skills as a dining companion are even better.”
“I can’t wait to see it for myself,” she said.
Molly, the dresser from the club, joined them. Lilah had become instant friends with her, and while Jess liked her just fine, they weren’t close. “They said it’s time for us to walk over to Gavin and Lilah’s for dinner.” She tilted her head back. “Can you believe the ceiling in this place? It’s like the Sistine Chapel.”
“We’re having dinner at Gavin’s cabin?” Jess asked.
“Lilah thought it would be more private than the main house,” Molly said. “So many guests here, you know?”
“It’s not far,” Derry said. “Not as far as—as my cabin.”
“That’s what Ethan was telling me,” Molly said. “He has a house of his own, too.”
“Who’s Ethan?” Jess asked.
“Isn’t Ethan your—oh God, I did it again. I’m terrible with names,” Molly said. “I mean your youngest brother.”
“Edward,” Derry said, laughter booming out of him. “Always such a charmer with the ladies.” More laughter.
“Please don’t tell him I forgot his name,” Molly said, clinging to Derry in a way that wiped the smile off Jess’s face. “He doesn’t come to the club, so I’d never met him before. Please don’t tell him?”
Derry looked like this would be a difficult promise to make.
“Please?” Molly repeated.
With a sigh, Derry relented. “Just this once.”
Jess wanted to push Molly away from Derry’s side; she was much too clingy. “Shall we get our coats? It’s snowing outside.”
“I didn’t even think of that.” Molly turned to Jess. “We’d better. Are you staying in that wing off the pool?”
“Yes, but—” But I want to walk with Derry. No, she couldn’t say that. She couldn’t be alone with him in the dark, snowy night. “Yes, I am. We can get our coats and walk together.”
Derry looked like he was about to argue, then ran a hand through his hair, loosening the tie in back. “I’ll see what Ethan’s up to.”
“You promised!” Molly said.
“So I did. I will not share your error with my forgettable sibling,” Derry said. “Comments between the two of us, however, are open season.” After a slight pause, he bowed to both of them and departed.
“I always thought he was a total babe,” Molly said.
Hands off, you hussy, Jess thought, then cringed inwardly, ashamed of her jealousy. “He sure is,” she said with a sigh.
Molly wasn’t stupid. Much to Jess’s surprise, she pursed her lips, looked at Jess, then at Derry’s retreating form, and said, “You two are an item.”
It wasn’t a question.
“Yes.” Jess’s answer came out before she could think. Eyeing Molly carefully, she found herself relieved to see excitement in her coworker’s eyes.
“Beauty has tamed the beast?” Molly whispered, a friendly, conspirator’s tone exactly what Jess needed to hear, even if she hadn’t realized it until this exact second.
“No one can tame him,” Jess said with a giggle. It felt good to have a friend to talk to. Lilah was completely consumed with the wedding, surrounded by their mother, Gavin, Eva, the bridesmaids, and a bunch of wedding planners with last-minute questions. Turning to her to talk about this crazy, whirlwind romance with Derry was selfish.
Her mother’s accusing words came back to her. Before she let them take over, she grabbed Molly’s arm and gave her a squeeze.
Molly reached for a glass of wine on a tray held by one of the servers, a young woman Jess didn’t recognize, and handed it off to Jess. She took it, grateful, suddenly parched.
“If anyone can, it’s you.” Molly’s words echoed in her mind as she lifted her own wine glass and gave Jess a meaningful look, one manicured finger pointed to the doorway where Derry stood, covered in a thick navy wool coat that made his eyes glow, eyes that sought out Jess.
And only Jess.
He winked, then left the room, a draft of cool air trailing behind him, lifting a lock of Jess’s loose hair like a kiss blown by a lover saying good-bye.
Molly cleared her throat meaningfully and smiled, then drank her wine. Jess looked down at her own glass, bringing it to her lips and taking a sip, then lifting her eyes to scan the room.
And found Asher Stanton staring at her with a look that made her turn to stone.
“Cat got your tongue?” Molly asked, sensing the change.
More like a wolf, Jess thought, but shook off the cold dread and smiled at Molly, ignoring the creepy older Stanton brother. With relief, she and Molly left the “living room” to get their coats out of their rooms.
During the stroll up the path to Gavin’s cabin for dinner, Molly chattered about how flattered she was Lilah had invited her to the wedding and how embarrassed she was about forgetting Edward’s name.
“Do you think Derry will tell him?” she asked Jess for the third time, just as they were approaching the bubbling hot-springs pool outside Gavin’s cabin. Snow was starting to cling to the branches overhead, glistening in the moonlight.
“He said he wouldn’t,” Jess said.
“Yeah, I know. You’re right. I’m being stupid. I just got the feeling Edward was kind of shy. I’d hate to embarrass him in front of everyone.”
Jess remembered him discovering them inside the Rolls. “He’s not that shy.”
“He hardly said two words to me at the rehearsal.”
“Maybe beautiful women make him nervous,” Jess said, nudging Molly in the ribs.
“Yeah, right! That’s a good one. Next to you and your sister, I’m invisible.”
At the door, Jess paused with her hand on the knocker and looked Molly over. Even in a faux-fur coat, Molly managed to look ready for a lingerie photo shoot, with a plunging neckline that showed off her tight white blouse, and under it, a black lace camisole barely containing her generous cleavage, now dotted with melting snowflakes. Below the white blouse, she wore black leather pants tucked into high-heeled red boots.
Jess seriously doubted Molly suffered from the same kind of shyness as Edward.
“You’re not invisible and you know it,” Jess said, laughing.
“I do try.” With a grin, Molly reached over her and swung the knocker herself. “Sometimes I hate being hidden away in the dressing rooms at the club. But it’s what I’m good at. I’d be a terrible waitress or bartender.”
“Any other dreams?” Jess asked.
Molly laughed again. “Like going to med school with you?”
“No, I mean anything.”
“Well, I’d love to travel. This is the first time I’ve been out of Boston in years. I didn’t realize how sick of the place I was.”
Jess was speechless, unable to imagine tiring of her favorite city, her home.
The door swung open to reveal Derry, breathlessly elegant in a gray suit and midnight-blue tie that was the same color as his eyes.
How delicious. He’d changed for dinner like some old-fashioned British aristocrat. She lost herself in a deep appreciation for his style, a breathtaking display that made her knees go weak.
Waves of glossy, inky hair framed his face, the contrast between the wild abandon of warrior hair and the cool sophistication of the suit turning her into a throbbing mess.
“Sick of what?” he asked.
Molly yelped softly and stepped back, her sharp heel
digging into Jess’s toe. “Nothing!”
“Watch what you say in front of Gavin,” Derry said. “He’s as jumpy as a cat on hot bricks tonight. You’d think he’d be happy about getting married.” After stepping aside to usher them in, he closed the door and took Molly’s coat, his polite smile too friendly for Jess, who was discovering she was capable of shocking levels of possessiveness.
“She was talking about Boston,” Jess said. “She’s enjoying getting out of the city.”
“Ah,” Derry said. “I rather miss it already.”
Jess took off her parka and held it out to him, feeling herself flushing hot to be so close to him again. “I do too.”
Molly was already grabbing a glass of wine from a tray and striding over to greet Eva, her tight pants showing every curve of her ass and thighs. Fearing what she’d see in his face, Jess turned to look at Derry.
His gaze was pinned on her, not Molly. “Jess,” he said, the word sliding over her like a kiss.
“This is going to be hard,” she whispered. Her fingers itched to grab his lapel and hitch her legs around his hips.
A pinched look came into his expression. “It’s already hard,” he muttered.
She laughed, and after a long moment, he chuckled and ducked his head. “We’ll think of it as a game,” he said. “With fantastic prizes at the end for the winners.”
Others were watching them. She turned, waved at Lilah, Eva, Gavin, and her mother, then said to Derry under her breath, “I feel faint. Get me a drink?”
He bowed. “At once, Jessica Murphy. Perhaps you should sit down while I retrieve it. If you stumbled, I’d have no choice but to lift you in my arms, and we both know where that would lead.”
They sure did. “White wine, please.”
“As you wish.”
Jess walked over to her mother, who was standing behind Lilah with a huge smile on her face, just beaming at everyone as she nibbled on a puff pastry.
But when Marilyn saw Jess, her lips pressed together in a flat line. “You two,” she said under her breath, dripping with disapproval.
“What? We didn’t do anything,” Jess said.
Marilyn rolled her eyes. “I could see the steam rising from way over here.”