by Nicole Casey
I pushed in even closer and now my tits were pressing up against his body. He responded in kind, lifting his knee ever so slightly to rub it against the soft plush of my pussy. I gently pushed my hips forward, riding his knee with an erotic swing. It felt even better whenever I could apply pressure up against my clit and in those moments I was so tempted to just grab him and drag him to the bathroom so we could fuck our brains out.
“Oh, ahhh fuck,” I moaned into his ear just as he wrapped me in his arms. “Baby come on, tease me some more. What else would you do if you had me, huh? What would you do if you could keep me for a night?”
“Oh Babe I could list down a million ideas in a notebook of the different ways I’d make love to you,” he explained. “I’d fuck you slowly, make you feel all comfortable and wet, and then I’d push you down on the floor and bang you like a bitch. I’m gonna pull your hair and smack your cute little ass before I pound in you all doggy.”
Almost instantly, the connection between us snapped and died. It wasn’t even really his fault. It was just that a diary of naughty ideas was exactly how I got entangled with Dylan in the first place. He was the one and only one I loved, and what the hell was I doing now? With someone I didn’t even care about?
“I-I’m sorry,” I tried to soften the blow as I told him to leave me alone. “I just don’t think I’m the girl you’re looking for.”
Before he could even press further, I took my bottle and walked away. I headed to a different corner of the bar, one where it was dark and I could sulk in my misery. It was a good thing though that the drink was good. I had that to comfort me at least.
“Wow, that was fucking stupid,” I told myself. I just ditched one hot guy because of my stupid brain. I had to shut it off and stop reminiscing about Dylan! It was just impossible that we’d ever meet again!
I needed to move on. I needed to stop thinking about Dylan’s gaze. Ugh! I wanted to pull my hair out! I wanted – no, I needed – to fuck a guy tonight. I was going insane. Dylan had essentially turned me into this craving sex addict but without him, I had nothing and no one to satisfy myself with.
There had to be a way. Heck, I was getting fucking desperate for something. Maybe it was time to just call it a night, get drunk at home and watch porn so I could finger my pussy while daydreaming of all the handsome guys shoving their cocks my way.
I took out my phone and stared at the naughty text messages Dylan and I had. Our conversations would always start out business-related but would quickly shift to sex. Shit, just looking at these messages was turning me on. All I could think of now were the moments I had with him.
That was all they were ever going to be now: just moments in time.
“Fuck this shit,” I whispered and I decided I shouldn’t let myself drown in sorrows. I had to go out there and fix my life. I started looking around, hoping I could find that handsome guy, and start our conversation again. Maybe I should be the one checking out his fantasies instead of the other way around.
And then the television got my attention.
It was on the sports channel but a news flash interrupted the football game – where local superstar Damon Wessic was currently playing – to focus on a violent car accident. It took place between this small country town and the city, right off the interstate highway.
I was going to ignore it since I didn’t like gruesome news stories but then I saw who was involved.
I could recognize that name and that face from a million miles away.
I felt an anchor suddenly drop in my gut. I wanted to freaking vomit.
In that moment, I dropped everything I was doing and quickly ran outside the bar.
All of a sudden, my whole world crashed upon me and I felt my heart skip a beat when I thought about all the harsh things I was just about to do. I had to fix things before it was too late – it probably already was but I had to give it a shot anyway.
I got into my car and just like that, I drove back to the city, hoping that when I’d get there Dylan would still be alive.
I needed to say sorry. I needed to say that even if he’d throw me out and never love me I would still love him.
I had to do it before he was gone forever.
9
Dylan
What day was it? W-what time was it?
I looked at my watch. I couldn’t read the hands – my vision was a little blurry. I whipped out my phone and tried to make sense of the time and date. Hmm… holy shit, it was three o’clock in the morning? Was that right?
Just how drunk was I? I looked around and tried to remember where the fuck I was. It took me a good five minutes – maybe fifteen, now that I really think about it – to realize I was in some slump of a bar. It was a real ugly dump that smelled of vomit and cheap beer. Why the hell was I here instead of Mercury Wild?
Then I saw a girl leaning on my side. Who was she? She was unconscious and snored like an elephant. She smelled of alcohol and cum. Wait, was she the reason I was here? Did I hook up with a cheap whore here?
At the moment I was so confused. My head was spinning with a splitting headache and I had no idea what the fuck was going on. I scoured through my phone again to see if I could recall anything about the hours leading up to this moment.
No, it wasn’t just hours. It was weeks. Even as I browsed through my phone I knew, deep inside, the exact reason I was here. Cherry was the sole reason of my misery.
Well, it was my fault. I pushed her away.
It had been seven weeks – or was it eight – since we last spoke. I stormed into my home office and she… signed the final document and then left. She never said goodbye and neither did she ever bother me again via text message or online. She just stopped messaging me entirely. It was like she never existed. It was like we never had a thing going.
Letting Cherry go was the dumbest thing I had ever done in my life. That one truly took the cake. She was beautiful, hard-working and smart . She was reliable and she was always such a sweet talker. She loved to hug, loved to kiss and at times she loved to just whisper sweet nonsense into my ear just to make me want to make love with her all over again.
“Make love,” I whispered when I realized I just thought of those words instead of something raw like fuck. Maybe she was getting into my head too much.
During the past three weeks, I had nothing to do but work. Every day I would check online or stare at my phone hoping I would receive a message from her but nothing came.
The only time I ever got something didn’t even come from her – it was an email from her father thanking me for the business deal. I only replied to Joel Vergara out of courtesy. There was one time when I was so desperate to talk to Cherry I was tempted to tell Joel the truth. Maybe he should know that I was dating and sleeping with his daughter.
“That’s just stupid,” I pointed out to myself. I then looked at the girl beside me and tried to make some sense out of the stupidity I got myself into.
She was young, maybe around Cherry’s age or even younger, with blonde hair and a lithe little body. She was sexy but also very obviously a whore. I wasn’t sure if her last fuck was with me or someone else. Now I was getting disgusted with her and I wanted to get the heck away from her.
Carefully and slowly, I moved my arm out of her embrace. “Sorry girl,” I whispered softly. “I just don’t want to get in trouble. I bet you were really good in the sack but it’s not a good time for me.”
“Huh?” the girl asked blankly when I tried to push out of the way. She then got up a bit and looked at me, “H-hey, you said you were going to take me to your big mansion by the beach.”
Wait, did I? Did she even know who I was?
“Do you even know who I am?” I asked her.
“Y-yeah, Marvin, right? Was it Martin?” she was rambling off utter nonsense now. “No, wait, I got it – your name’s freaking Jerry. I knew it. You look like a Jerry to me.”
“Dylan,” I rolled my eyes. “You weren’t even close.”
“I
said Dylan,” she mumbled but even then her eyes were beginning to shut as the drowsiness was once again taking over her mind. Maybe it was the alcohol too or both. “I… I uh, yeah. Who the fuck cares? You don’t even know my name.”
Well, she was right about that. No one cared. What I knew was that I had to get the fuck out of here. But I didn’t even know where here was.
I looked around again but all I could see left in the bar were folks like me – drunk and fucked up beyond all recognition. There was no one here to tell me where I was or what I was doing here other than getting shit-faced drunk.
I didn’t even know how I met the girl leaning on me. I hoped we didn’t have sex because I had no intention of having sex with her. This girl had a figure but I needed more than that. I needed someone who brought life to the bed. Someone like Cherry.
Oh Sweet Cherry. The sound of her moans alone was enough to get me hard and anxious. I could imagine just how sweet it was to spread her cute little legs just to get another lick at her pussy before I’d give it a slap and then thrust my cock deep into her hole. The way her body would tighten and rock along with the rhythm of my thrusts was like the greatest musical piece I’d ever been a part of.
Once I got rid of both the whore and my imagination I got up, headed over to the bartender and paid the rest of my tab. Somehow my bill got over a hundred bucks but I wasn’t keen on checking if the guy was lying or not. I just wanted to get the hell out of there.
No… the truth was, I wanted Cherry. I wanted to feel her in my arms again. I didn’t know if I loved her. That would be improbable but I did know I was attached to her. I had gotten used to her being around me. I had gotten used to the fragrance of her perfume, the taste of her skin and the sound of her moans at night.
Outside the air was so crisp and cold I could feel it bite underneath my skin. My shirt was so thin I could feel the wind brush my skin with even the lightest breeze.
That was when I noticed it was already beginning to snow. It was a gentle fall and the roads were still free of ice. The parking lot was only lightly covered in sheets of white.
“Where the heck did I park?” I asked out loud as I scouted the area. Where the hell was my car? Did I even drive my way here? Everything was still so fuzzy in my head.
In cold nights like this Cherry would snuggle up to me. I would feel her tits press up against my muscles and her warm body would snug in tight and fit with mine. It was like we were two pieces to a puzzle – a perfect fit.
I missed her.
I wanted her. I shook my head in regret but even then I knew the chances of getting back with her were slim. I threw her out. I flat-out told her that I didn’t care and that all I wanted was her body for sex and companionship. I was a fucking asshole.
That was such a stupid thing for me to do. I had a girl, one so precious I’d never find one like her again, and I let her go.
By the time I found my car, I was shivering violently from the cold. I needed a jacket. Maybe I had one but I left it in the bar. Everything was just a wild blur right now and all I wanted was to get home and then bring Cherry back. Both of those goals seemed so distant and improbable right now.
“Keys, keys, where the fuck are my keys?” I mumbled and grumbled as I patted my pockets. Eventually, I found my car keys in my back pocket along with my wallet. Well, at least I still had my stuff. Nobody robbed me just yet.
I unlocked the door, got in and turned on the heater as soon as I got the car running. It felt so damn good so I took a moment to lean back and relax. My head was splitting and the only image I could complete in my mind was that of Cherry.
Why did I freaking miss her this much?
It’d been the same story for weeks now. There were days where I’d get so drunk thinking about her that I’d end up in a mess like this. Here I was again, not even sure where I was. What side of town was this anyway?
After a few minutes, I took my phone out and looked for a GPS map app. With its aid, I finally discovered that I was a few miles out of the city limits. How in the world did I get this far?
It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered now.
Frustrated with my loneliness and the cold, I started to drive out. As I drove the music playing on the radio seemed to only infuriate me more. It was all love songs and breakup songs. I was having enough of this nonsense.
I stepped on the pedal and spun the wheel, deciding to just head back to the office and bury myself in work. Work was the only thing that could console me now.
The visibility was terrible. It almost seemed like there were no lights. Well, at least I didn’t see them. Maybe it was the ice and snow or maybe it was just the blinding fury in my head.
I was deep in my thoughts amidst the poor visibility when I was snapped back into reality by full headlights and a loud horn being blasted from the vehicle coming straight towards mine.
No amount of steering away or emergency brakes could rescue me from the reality that this was my life flashing right before my eyes. All I could think about was Cherry. I wish I could make things different before I leave for good. But I guess that wasn’t for me to decide.
10
Dylan
My eyes fluttered open and I was shocked to see I was still alive. Everything seemed so blurry and there was bright white light flashed all around me.
I could hear voices, dozens of them, but I couldn’t recognize a single one. I tried to move but it was like being trapped in a different person’s body – nothing I did seemed to work. Even when I tried to move my eyes all I could see was a blank sea of whiteness.
When I tried to move my head, I felt a searing headache split my whole body and I nearly fell back to an unconscious pit. I was struggling to breathe and I couldn’t even move my lips. When I tried to roll my tongue all I could feel was blood dripping from the sides of my mouth.
More lights flashed and I heard a few more voices. Then something plastic covered my face and I fell unconscious.
I woke up and fell asleep again and again over a cycle of minutes or hours. I couldn’t really tell the passing of time anymore.
All I knew was that my whole body hurt.
Everything didn’t seem like they were in the right place. My joints ached more with each passing moment and my neck was so stiff it was a miracle it didn’t cement itself in place.
Whenever I fell asleep I dreamed of Cherry. Whenever I was awake I dreamed of dying. Maybe I was dying. Maybe I was already dead.
Time just seemed to pass so slowly but the pain that plagued my body only seemed to have gotten worse. I could feel sores on my joints and bruises swelling in places I never even thought could swell so badly.
It was only after some time that I gathered I was in a hospital. I was still alive – somehow – but I didn’t know how or why I couldn’t move or see anything. There was nothing but bright whiteness every time I tried to open my eyes.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, my vision started to clear. When I woke up again I realized I was staring up into the bright room lights of a hospital room. This time I knew I was alive but the pain across my body instantly told me I was in horrible shape.
“H-hello?” I tried to call out. I tried to speak the word but it didn’t come out as clearly as I thought it should. My tongue felt like a big fat roll of meat in my mouth.
Fortunately, I heard footsteps and a man leaned over so I could see his face. He was in his mid-forties with short hair and a thin pair of glasses. He looked like he could have been a doctor on television, one of those really hot type of lead actors, but I knew he must have been a real doctor… well, maybe. I hoped so.
“Ah, Mr. Bernard you’re awake,” he greeted. “My name is Richard Cassian and I’m your supervising physician. Let me start by telling you it’s a miracle you’re still alive. Most people who go through accidents like yours don’t make it out as well as you did.”
“I…I don’t understand,” I slobbered and mouthed. I think he got what I was saying though so I presse
d on, “What happened?”
Cassian diverted his gaze from me and began checking the machines hooked up to me, “Well, you were driving drunk and smashed right into a delivery truck. The truck driver made it out pretty fine except for a fractured leg. You, on the other hand, smashed through his truck and straight into a light post on the side of the road. Your car flipped and skid across the highway. When the authorities arrived everyone already assumed you were dead. There was so much blood on the ground. Yet here you are, alive and well.”
“How bad is it?”
The doctor sighed and told me the truth without holding anything back, “You broke twenty-three bones in your body, Mr. Bernard. This includes fragile pieces in your neck, lower back, ribs, and legs. You’ll be paralyzed for quite some time, Mr. Bernard.”
I panicked and quickly asked, “I-is it permanent?”
“I don’t know,” the doctor told me and his answer seemed even worse than a flat yes or no. “All I can tell you is that you have to be strong and don’t let this beat you. To be honest, I do think you’ll be okay. It might take months or years even but if you keep that woman by your side I can only see a bright future for you – just slow down on the alcohol.”
Wait, what woman?
“Doc, what woman?” I asked him.
Dr. Cassian explained with a casual expression, “Oh, Ms. Vergara was here earlier and the day before. She’s been here since they first brought you in.”
“How long have I been here?” I was feeling both relieved to know Cherry was here with me and scared sensing how long I might have been bed-ridden now.
The doctor didn’t even try to soften the blow, “It’s been two weeks now, Mr. Bernard. You’ve been shifting in and out of consciousness for a while but I suspected you wouldn’t regain eyesight for a few days. The blow to your head and neck weren’t fatal but they were devastating, to say the least.”