by Jade Waltz
“That was never my intention.” His eyes softened. “You have to understand that Aldawi are never around the opposite gender—I know you must have read about it, and I know Kaede warned you about our culture,” he said pointedly. “We have no guidance on how to have a relationship, be mated, or live as a family.
“While I know you through our time in the dreamscape, our time alone was in a chamber outside of reality. What happens here has no impact on reality other than what we take from it. All we have is our past conversations to use to rebuild what we once had and the trust between us.” He wiped my tears, drying all that remained. “In reality, I am the prince of a powerful empire, and you are my Nova. It is my job to keep you away from harm.”
“What is a Nova? You never fully explained it,” I breathed. “What makes me so important to you?”
He closed his eyes and sighed, dropping his hand from my face.
“The Aldawi are a proud species—proud and deadly. Our strength has always been projected as an aura-like presence. The more powerful a member is, the farther their range is, which is also the limit of where they can shadowstep,” he explained, unconsciously combing my hair. “What others don’t know is that I am stronger than Royak. He insisted we test it once when we were alone. It was a close battle of wills, but I made him submit to me.” He glanced down at me. “He said he wanted to know where he stood against me and asked if I wanted to rule. I laughed at him. Even before you came into my life, my focus has always been defeating the Yaarkins, not ruling. I have no drive to rule and never have.”
“Okay?” I said, confused by his answer and why someone didn’t want to be the sole person in charge of the most powerful empire in the CEG.
“Royak was the firstborn in our litter. It is only natural for him to be the leader. I don’t want to take that away from him—not when he would be a better ruler than me. Why take that away from him when I could remain standing by his side? Typically, if a Sovereign is challenged, it’s to the death. Why would I want to kill my brother? For what? To be stuck in a palace? I could never travel the stars and defend our territory in battle,” he sighed. “While Royak can hold his own on the battlefield and is a natural leader, he is at ease planetside. He can lead there while I support him in the stars. Between us, the future of the Aldawi is bright.”
“So, what do I have to do with all of this if you aren’t going to challenge him? Why is it so important I am protected?”
“Novas are scarce. Any knowledge about them has been lost over the generations, and the ones who are paired don’t speak about it.”
“Why? What happened for them to disappear? And why is it such a secret?”
“Because killing one dooms the other,” he said, trailing a claw along my neck, its sharpness dragging on my skin. “Ending your life would throw mine into jeopardy. If word got out how important you are to me, they would use you to get to me.”
“How do you know?” I whispered, trembling.
He pulled his claw away from my neck and traced my mark aimlessly. I tilted my head, confused by the way he was touching me, looking at me as if I was something precious… as if I was his. And in truth, even though my heart was still sore, I was.
“When you were being attacked in the dreamscape, I felt it, and it was something I never want to feel ever again. My body burned from the inside, and the tiny chime I always hear while you are fast asleep was loud and uneven as if you were struggling. I knew something was wrong—something was trying to take you from me,” he snarled. “Our life-essences share a void chamber. That is how I was able to create a world like this and add you to my dreamscape whenever I joined you.” He gestured to our copy of Destima.
“When we mated, you must have gained the Aldawi dreamscape ability, making you capable of unconsciously forming your own. I haven’t joined you since you requested space. I feared if I slept while you did, we would be together in the void chamber, and I would be tempted to enter your dreamscape world, so I haven’t. I changed my sleep schedule and slept when I knew you were awake.”
“If this void chamber holds our life-essence while we sleep, how was I attacked?” I asked, confused.
“Perhaps it has to do with us not sharing our time together? Or maybe the closed paths along one of the chamber’s walls that connect you to your nestmates are compromised? Whatever the cause, somehow our void chamber’s wall has weakened enough for it to crack and allow a foreign cyan thread to attack you,” he growled, pulling me close.
I gripped his mane, playing with its soft strands. “So, what are you saying?”
“Selena.” He threw back his head and sighed. “Fates connected us for a reason—even though you aren’t an Aldawi. I would be the first one to admit I messed up. I was too cautious for my own good and in return, turned you against me and somehow caused this… this damage.” He met my gaze. “But I believe us fighting our connection is only going to permanently harm us. Something about you being with me—both in reality and our void chamber—brings me ease.” He covered my hand with his paw. “I am asking if we could try again.”
“Really?” I asked, dumbfounded. “I should just accept everything you have said and move on as if you didn’t do everything you did?”
“I know I have done irreversible—”
“I am a mother, Zirene. A mother,” I hissed, pulling my hand away from his.
“We have gone over this, and I am trying to rectify that. It was poor judgment on my behalf—I know this—but also give me some credit. I am only used to Aldawi ways. I am trying, Selena, I really am. Please give me… give us another chance?” he pleaded, gripping both of my hands. “I swear to you, I won’t make that mistake again. I know I have to share you with others and have accepted it without difficulty or jealousy. I am asking you to allow me back into your life and your—our—cubs’ lives.”
I peered down at our joined hands, confused. He was the one I had looked up to, the one who gave me hope in the darkness. His nightly visits were the highlight of my days back on the Yaarkin ship and to throw it away so easily… felt wrong.
Yet did I really have a choice? Did he?
If we continued to ignore the connection we had, would our void chamber deteriorate even more? And would I be vulnerable for someone to attack me once again?
“I will not lie to you, Zirene. I still miss what we had.” I met the amethyst eyes I knew so well. “But I am afraid. I want you to be a part of our cubs' lives, but I don’t want to get hurt again—or be treated like I am a prized possession with no rights, incapable of thinking.”
“Selena… please… I know I have made many mistakes.”
“I hate this, Zirene.” I shook my head, refusing to let the tears threatening to form, to fall.
Zirene gently cupped my face, his eyes penetrating mine.
“All I ask is for us to start over. To get comfortable with each other and become friends once again. Allow me to be around our cubs. Let us share the same dreamscape together like before.” He sighed. “I understand if I ruined any chance I ever had to have a relationship with you as you have with your nestmates. I just don’t want to lose you—I can’t. We are in this together, no matter how much you may wish you weren’t.”
“No. You are right,” I sighed. “I have accepted my nestmate's culture and differences completely, knowing full well we may have misunderstandings. But with you, I have always held you to a higher standard since I’ve known you for so long. It would be wrong for me not to forgive you and make things work between us. Your actions—even though I may not agree with them—were based on all you knew.” I licked my lips. “If I am going to accept Circuli standards, then I need to accept yours as well. I know I am not perfect; I make mistakes and am ignorant of many things around me. My nestmates understand this and forgive me whenever I do something wrong. I can’t expect others to forgive me, and yet I hesitate to forgive you. It is wrong of me not to treat you the same way I treat them and expect to be treated.
“I need to forg
ive you and work things out.”
“Really? That’s it?” he asked, confused, dropping his hands.
“What do you want me to say? Do you want me to have you bow down to me and beg for forgiveness? Do you want me to demand something outrageous?” I rolled my eyes. “Zirene. You gave me an ishing moon. A water moon. Something that is already extremely valuable. It is the only moon to your star system’s capital, and it is equipped with a gem mine. What do you want from me?”
“I just thought…”
“Zirene, if what you said is true, it doesn’t matter what I want—or you, for that matter. The Fates put us together, and we have to deal with it the best way we can or face the consequences. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to go through what happened again.”
“Me, either.”
“Look. We had… have… something special. We have known each other for nine years.” I shrugged. “I can’t promise a romantic future with you, at least not right away. My heart is still raw, and I still need time to heal.” I closed my eyes as a feeling of relief flooded me. “Be a good sire to our cubs and treat my clan well. I know we need to share the same dreamscape—and that is fine—but if you keep pushing me, I am only going to pull away. Give me the space I need to heal, and things should return to the way they were.”
“Thank you, Selena.”
I met his gaze. “Don’t make me regret this. There is only so much I can take and let the Fates be damned.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Selena
Deep rumbles vibrated through me from the warmth that surrounded me. Heavy arms held me close as a steady breath blew along the back of my neck. I was lying with someone, and from the lack of appendages, it was safe to assume I was probably in Zirene’s arms. Dizziness assaulted me, my thoughts muddled as I tried to piece together everything that had happened.
“Are you sure they will be all right?” Odelm asked, worried.
“Are you seriously asking me this?” Mwe mocked. “I have been around longer than most citizens on this space station. They are fine. Does your connection tell you any different?”
“No, it’s calm, but they have been unconscious to the world for hours. How do we know what happened to her didn’t permanently damage her?” Odelm replied.
“I will make sure it doesn’t,” Mwe offered gently. “I know how much she means… to all of you.”
“And she is awake,” Kaede announced.
I opened my eyes to a dimmed room. For once, they got it right, not blinding me with their bright lights. Surveying the room, I saw we were no longer in the Dreamdome but in the Royal Aldawi Commons, placed on the large circular lounge chair. Familiar faces filled the packed room.
Royak was sitting with my nestmates in the circle of lounge chairs. The Fab Five were guarding the main doors, talking in hushed tones. Kaede faced me with lips pressed, standing next to Chamber Master Mwe and a woman who looked like a younger version of him. I assumed she was his daughter with the same abyssal black skin, dressed in a dark green robe like Mwe’s and purple glass-like wings. Her fuchsia mohawk and eyes radiated as her skin had the same humming glow Mwe had.
The room slowly brought their attention to me, relief filling their worried faces.
“Ummm… Hello,” I whispered.
Wiggling in place, I attempted to loosen Zirene’s hold on me as I tried to sit up. His arms pulled me closer in reply as he rubbed his cheek on the back of my head.
“Mine,” he grumbled as his purrs increased in volume.
My cheeks burned, embarrassed. Of course, he had to be territorial in his sleep. Twisting my torso around, I reached over and flicked his nose. He jerked awake and growled, his purrs becoming growls as his amethyst eyes focused on me.
“Wake up,” I said, gesturing to the crowd. “Now isn’t the time to sleep.”
His eyes softened and glanced behind me, letting go of my waist.
“I am sorry…” His eyes narrowed in Mwe’s direction. “What are you doing here?”
“My daughter, Oeta, was finishing her interview process for Selena’s research team, when Selena’s distress sent her nestmates into a panic. They canceled the rest of the day’s interviews to rush to her, and Oeta followed them, contacting me along the way.”
“But that doesn’t explain why you are here,” he quipped.
I smacked his chest. “You don’t need to be rude.”
Mwe chuckled. “Prince Zirene and I may not agree on many things, but he knows I don’t show up unannounced with no reason.”
“Unannounced? Is that what you are calling it? I didn’t think you were capable of doing such a thing,” Zirene grumbled.
“I have to make sure the space station operates smoothly. You know, when an unknown presence attacked…” he paused, studying the occupants of the room. “Selena. I wanted answers to what both Oeta and I felt, and to see if we could assist if needed.”
Xylo and Odelm rushed over, the rest of the Circuli quickly following. Zirene stood up and moved out of the way, allowing my nestmates to surround me on the chair.
“Are you all right?”
“What happened?”
I hesitated, biting my lip as I watched Zirene’s retreating form, hoping he would answer. He stopped in front of Mwe and his daughter and rolled his shoulders as his tail swayed back and forth.
Rolling my eyes, I sighed, annoyed.
I didn’t know how to explain what happened, and to be honest, I just wanted to be alone. But if I was going to get any answers, I would have to offer some as well.
“I went into the Dreamdome to update and design the layout of the main island. As I was going over the final touches, something hit me, disorienting me and knocking me out of the sky—”
“That shouldn’t have happened,” Aunya injected, stepping closer. “It shouldn’t be possible. Only those in the dome should have access.”
“Well, it did,” Mwe said, tilting his head toward Aunya as his eyes bore into Zirene. “What exactly does the Dreamdome do? Should I be worried about having such a thing operating on the space station?”
“It is completely safe,” Zirene grumbled. “What happened to Selena has never happened to anyone else.”
“Is that because no one has tried to attack the occupant before? Or the technology has always protected the occupant?” Mwe asked, flexing his wings.
“What happened to Selena was an anomaly. It won’t happen again,” Zirene scoffed.
“And why is that? Is it because you both have been fighting your Nova bond?” Mwe crossed his arms. “You do know why they exist, right?”
“You aren’t an Aldawi,” Zirene spat. “What do you know?”
“Zirene,” Royak said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s listen to what he has to say. He has been around longer than most and may know something.”
“I may not be Aldawi, but I have had the pleasure of doing business with your sister, Masmi,” Mwe said as he touched his robe. “You see, Masmi’s corporation makes the finest robes…”
“That doesn’t have to do with anything, father,” Oeta grumbled, her voice a slightly higher version of Mwe’s with a slight ring to it.
“But it does,” Mwe said, smiling. “I had the pleasure of discussing business over dinner. The topic came up. The Aldawi females have a lot to say when they are treated as equals and with respect. It seems like some of your history has been kept away from the males in fear of what they may do once more.”
“We have done nothing to them!” Zirene shouted. “They have all the land they want and the freedom they need to manage themselves. We only ask for monthly tithes as we defend our territory.”
“That may be true, but that doesn’t forgive what the first Sovereign of your line did.” Sorrow filled Mwe’s eyes. “It is said the Fates and the Stars punished everyone who took part in the Great Dimming.”
“The Great Dimming. I’ve heard about that,” Royak whispered. “But that was almost two thousand years ago, before the Alda
wi helped form the CEG. It was said it helped strengthen our species.”
“Strengthen? You mean weaken,” Oeta fumed. “Your own ancestor came into power by mating with the Beacon, and the night after birthing their first and only litter, he slaughtered her while she slept from her labor exhaustion. His first action was to cleanse all who remained of the old royal bloodline before purging the Novas and their Shadows.” Oeta ruffled her wings in anger.
“Mated Novas and Shadows grow in power, the more intimate they are and the longer they are a pair. Your ancestor knew this and didn’t want anyone to challenge him, in fear a long-time mated pair might be able to win. That started the Great Dimming and the split of the Aldawi genders. Over time, females distrusted males, only tolerating them at the time of their heat cycle.” She laughed.
“You see, the mated pairs? Those are your Novas and Shadows brave enough to accept their bond and go public. It seems like those who were gifted one are slowly accepting their destiny and learning to tolerate each other’s presence after many generations of separation ingrained into your society.”
“So, you are saying Zirene is my Shadow?” I asked as I tried to piece together what was happening. Too much had been going on and was left unsolved for me to understand. “Why are mated Novas and Shadows feared? And why me?”
Mwe looked between Zirene and me and sighed.
“I can’t explain why the Stars and Fates paired the two of you, but if his reactions to you are what he said, then you are indeed his Nova—and he is your Shadow. You may not experience the same things as those who are bonded, but you are indeed capable of fulfilling their species’ needs.”
“How are you so sure?” Xylo questioned slowly as doubt laced his voice.
“You felt your body adjust to her, correct?”
“Yes. Both Odelm and I experienced this, and it got worse until she finalized our bond.”
“What about you two?” Mwe asked the Circuli princes.
I turned and faced both males sitting behind me, realizing their appendages hadn’t unconsciously reached out for me since we established our court-bonds.