by Jade Waltz
They got the hint. In an instant, each one of them untangled themselves from me and each other, wrapping their appendages around their own torsos in their default state.
As soon as Odelm’s tentacle untangled itself from my leg, I jolted, leaving the sleepy males alone to think about what had just happened.
The embarrassing moment passed. As a clan, we ate breakfast with the cubs and staff. Vagren was worried about housing and wanted the princes to go with him to assist him with their crew. Xylo left soon after with the new medical staff to help at the island’s hospital.
Now, I laid spread out on a cushioned pad in the middle of the Sanctuary, basking in the sunlight as it poured from the glass dome. The cubs were swimming in the pool under Pavryn’s watch, enjoying themselves as the sounds of Odelm’s music flooded the room.
Hearing him play pleased me. I was afraid our time on the space station had affected him more than he let on. He was the most sensitive male out of my now four but was always afraid of looking weak compared to the others. I wished he would understand his own self-worth.
I didn’t need him to be brainy and demanding like Xylo or a strategic commander like the princes. I loved him for who he was, even when he had his moments of self-doubts and clinginess.
While it was refreshing to be away from the politics and stress of the CEG, I felt as if I was hiding from the universe. Zirene shoved this moon on me and gave me unlimited power to do whatever I pleased to it. I understood that by Aldawi laws, he needed to give me something as a status symbol of how much power he had, but that didn’t mean I was fully comfortable using it.
Yes, I’d already used what power I had to protect the princes and their crew—and to provide starving artists a place to flourish—but what if this was a mistake?
I needed Zirene.
It worried me he’d left without a trace and hadn’t been in my dreams for the last five days. What happened to us needing to strengthen our void chamber’s walls? We couldn’t protect ourselves if we kept avoiding each other.
A flicker of movement caught my eye.
Kaede stood, leaning against the railing of the balcony’s ledge, his focus on me.
If anyone knew where Zirene was, it would be him. Whether he would tell me would be a different story.
“If you are going to stare at me all day, you could at least come talk to me. I promise I won’t bite… again,” I shouted.
He stood and disappeared, only to reappear directly next to me.
“No, but by the Stars, you sure fucked up the princes' shoulders from what I saw this morning.”
“The deeper the mark, the better others see it,” I shrugged.
“Have you ever thought that perhaps you have a biting habit?”
“No, but from what was said last night, I like to suck too.”
“Noted,” he mocked, adjusting his posture as the cubs' splashes drew his attention. “I am assuming you did not call me down here to talk about your aggressive mating habits.”
“No. I called you down here because I want to know what happened to Zirene.”
“That is classified, Selena. You know this.”
Hissing, I reached for his hand and yanked it, making him stumble to his hands and knees. Using the momentum, I flipped him over onto his back, throwing my leg over to straddle him as I pinned both of his hands over his head.
Glaring, I lowered my face to his, hovering just above his frustrating visor.
“Now listen here, Agent Kaede… my Shadow left without a word and hasn’t visited me in our dreamscape after we both agreed we needed to work together on our differences and visit each night… It has been five days since I last saw him, and I haven’t had any updates about him. Now. Tell. Me. Where is my Shadow? Or do I have to—”
“Do what, Selena?” Kaede scoffed. “The only reason our positions are not reversed is I swore never to hurt you. Countering your attack and flipping you onto your back has a high potential to cause you bodily harm.” He wrenched his gloved hands away and tucked them behind his head. His long silky dark strands cascaded around him, making him quite attractive. “Now, I know you love riding your mates…”
“How do you know that?” I demanded.
“Records, Selena. I have told you this. My drones are everywhere, and now that I am back on Destima, my reach extends over the whole moon and then some. Whenever a person of interest is nearby, they record and follow. Since you are my main target, it is safe to say I have data cubes full of recordings of you.”
Nudity wasn’t an issue, but private conversations and moments were. If he knew how I had been the dominant one in my relationships with my nestmates, he had to be viewing them…
“How many times, Kaede?” I demanded as I gave his chest a shove.
He pulled his hands from behind his head and placed them on my knees.
“Truthfully, Selena?” he whispered. “I have watched each one of them to make sure you were okay. I know Circuli males worship their nestqueens, but I had to make sure you were not being ganged up on and pressured to do something you didn’t want to do. My alliance is with you—not them. I only protect them because they are a part of your clan and have a mystic connection with you.” He looked away, facing the cubs playing in the pool.
“Every male around you has a special connection with you except me. How am I supposed to protect you when I am incapable of saving you mentally? Spiritually?” He sighed and met my gaze once more.
“I am just a super soldier, bred and designed to do one thing well, and that is to kill. But I can’t kill something harming you that is not in the physical realm, and I don’t know how I should feel about that.”
His words stunned me. He was right. How could a male designed to hunt and destroy his prey be successful when his target mentally attacked his subject? There wasn’t any physical evidence to trace whoever attacked me in my dreamscape. Therefore, it made whoever was assigned to protect me feel useless when their only weakness was being exploited to harm me, and there was nothing they could do about it.
“There is nothing you can do about it, Kaede,” I whispered. “If there was, I know you would have done it already. Face the facts—you can’t be perfect at everything.”
“That is where you are wrong, Selena. I am designing a portable device based on the dreamdomes which would record all the wearer's dreamscape sessions,” he announced proudly. “I am hoping whenever someone attacks you or someone else, the device would collect any evidence that would lead me back to them.”
“Kaede… I don’t want you to do anything that may harm you. As it is, your deportation device is faulty. It gets the job done, but I have never heard about the Aldawi being in pain whenever they shadowstepped.”
“I am just a soldier loyal to Prince Zirene. If there is anything I can do to become a better asset to him, I will do it.”
“Only him? What about me?”
“Prince Zirene rescued my sisters and me and gave us our freedoms. That is something we can never repay.”
So, he would always be loyal to Zirene first over anyone else. It was nice to know where the loyalty lines were drawn when it came down to Zirene or me.
Slowly, I climbed onto my feet, sticking my hand out for Kaede to grab. He hesitantly enclosed his gloved hand in mine, and I yanked, helping him to his feet.
I stared at my cubs in silence as they practiced jumping off the mini waterfall into the pool. Kaede remained by my side, not saying a word as he observed the Sanctuary.
“Kaede, can you at least tell me if Zirene is all right? I won’t ask for any more details about what is happening in the Aldawi Empire or CEG.”
He sighed. “He is fine, Selena. You would be the first to know when your Shadow is in danger.”
“Thank you.”
Chapter Forty-One
Zirene
Zirene stepped outside onto the villa’s porch, into the darkness of the night. It was late, and Selena wasn’t with the others. It has been seven days since he las
t talked to her. Royak had called him away, afraid to discuss private matters over the channels.
It seemed there was some unrest brewing along their borders—but by the time he investigated the matter, all evidence was nonexistent. Missing ships lost cargo due to pirates, and rumors of a rebellion forming circulated, created by those in the black market furious at Zirene for killing the Yaarkins—their main source of entertainment.
He needed to try one more time to resolve things with Selena, for he didn’t know when he would have the freedom to do so again.
Duty would call him away again, and soon. The Quaww hostility on the space station was something he couldn’t shake. War wasn’t something he wanted to fall back into—but he would prepare, for it was his responsibility to make sure none of the battles or mind games came near Selena and her cubs.
There could soon be a time for him to require Prince V’dim and Prince Z’fir to join him. He would rather have them on Destima, leading its defense squad, but if a war was declared, he would need every experienced commander under his command available.
Zirene would not allow thoughts of war to distract him from his hunt. Tonight, Selena was his prey, and he would make sure he came out victorious—because if his brother was right, there might not be many more of these nights soon.
He inhaled deeply. Selena’s unique scent assaulted his nose. It was a special combination of an exotic flower and something slightly citrus, something that dominated the salty oceanic smell of the island.
He followed her scent’s trail easily to her location.
Selena was leaning on the stone railing, gazing at the island’s nightlife below, strands of her silver hair blowing in the gentle ocean breeze. The sheerness of her lavender nightgown left nothing to his imagination.
Zirene kneaded his hands along his thighs, wishing he could reach out and touch her, but he needed to wait until she accepted him and allowed them to be together. Until then, he would not pressure her—the decision must be hers and hers alone. He’d already forced her into something once and couldn’t afford to do it again.
He didn’t want to do it again.
She hadn’t noticed him standing there, watching her. Slowly, Zirene stalked toward her, not wanting to interrupt the view.
She sighed and looked up to the night sky, causing him to still his progression.
“Oh, Stars, Fates, whoever blessed me before. Tell me what to do.”
“You should do whatever you want to do,” he replied gently, stepping out of the shadows.
Selena stood and turned toward him, finding him effortlessly in the darkness. She pursed her lips as her wary eyes trailed him.
“What are you doing here, Zirene?”
He stopped within arm’s reach, her head reaching mid-chest as he stared down at her. Instinctively, he brushed back her loose strands of hair and tucked them behind her ears as she stared up to him skeptically.
“I could ask you the same,” he purred.
She closed her eyes and leaned into his paw. His paw cupped her cheek, and he traced it with his thumb.
“I couldn’t sleep,” she breathed.
A rumble escaped from within as he snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her close. Her chest pressed against his stomach as she grabbed his side fur.
“Tell me what ails you, my Nova.”
Resting her head against him, silence fell between them as he waited for her to reply.
Having her in his arms felt right after all these years. It pained him there was still a barrier between them. She was warming up to him as things progressed between them, but still kept him out of reach.
“I don’t know what to do with you,” she murmured.
He took in a deep breath at that confession and stilled.
What had he done wrong?
He thought he was doing well, keeping his distance and not pressuring her.
Zirene slowly traced her curves with both paws until they rested on her hips. He lightly gripped them and gently pulled her away.
Selena stared up at him with her mouth slightly ajar. Her deep blue-green eyes traced his face questionably.
“What do you mean?” he asked, confused, searching her eyes.
She bit her lower lip and studied him. “I want to believe you—trust you—but…”
“But you are afraid I will abuse that trust once again,” he mumbled.
She sighed as she closed her eyes and nodded.
Zirene dropped his arms from her and backed away. Turning around, he took a few steps, shaking his head in disappointment at himself.
“Wait!” Selena shouted. “Don’t go. Please. You just only got here…”
He stopped and looked into the night sky.
“Selena. I never intended to hurt you,” he confessed. “You don’t know what it’s like, knowing you were the reason the being you are devoted to doesn’t feel the same way about you. Someone you can’t stop thinking about… It hurts. But I can’t make you feel the same way I do for you. I love you, Selena, and it kills me inside to know I am the reason why I can’t have you by my side.” He collected himself. “I hope I appreciate you for who you are and can someday make you as happy as your nestmates do.”
Silence assaulted his ears as he waited for her response. When none came, he stepped into the shadows, defeated.
Hands gripped his tail and yanked, causing him to stumble backward. A hiss escaped him as he shadowstepped away, turning toward the assailant.
Selena rushed toward him and leaped. He instinctively grabbed her while she was in midair and pulled her against his body. Her legs tried to wrap around his torso, but he was too wide. She grabbed his face and pulled it down to meet hers, smashing her lips to his.
Zirene’s paws tightened on her ass, his nails piercing her nightgown, making her growl in response as she ground herself against him.
Loud purrs rumbled from within as he felt his cock lengthen and harden from her neediness. Instinctively, he reached out his consciousness and shadowstepped.
Selena ended the kiss and gasped, yanking his facial fur. He placed her gently onto the railing, locking his gaze on hers. Her dark blue-green eyes looked at him in wonder while his erection stayed trapped between them.
“What was that? I’m not sick…” she breathed, dropping her hands from his face.
“Shadowstepping.”
“The ability all Aldawi have?” Her swollen lips pulled into a smirk. “The one Kaede tries to mimic?”
“Only when they have a goal in mind,” he rumbled.
She bit her lip as her eyes landed on his. “What goal is that?”
“To prove I am dedicated to you,” he whispered.
She looked down at his hardness as it pressed against his loincloth, causing it to jerk between them from her focus.
“I don’t remember it being so big, or you so forward,” she murmured.
He watched her move her hands toward his cock and steeled himself from moving. Selena slowly untied his belt, and his loincloth fell to the ground. She bit her lips, her face scrunched in concentration as she wrapped her hands around its girth, the softness of her hands intoxicating. It took all his strength not to bend her over and rut her, right then and there.
Her wary gaze locked onto his, a slight frown crossing her lips as she released his manhood.
“It hurt last time… how do I know this isn’t a trap, and you won’t force pregnancy on me again?” she hesitated. “I want to trust you. I want this wall between us to come down. Zirene, I miss you and what we had. I miss all the things we used to do together… I can’t continue like this—with you—feeling like I’m floating aimlessly in space.”
Her words pained him, dulling his arousal as his need to prove himself to her grew. His paws lightly squeezed her hips as he took in a deep breath, the scent of her arousal swirling around him—making him yearn for her.
“I would never purposely impregnate you ever again. Not against your will,” he licked his lips as his tail flicked beh
ind him. “Mating will only hurt if I activate my barbs to lock us together. As so, my barbs would inject you with their venom to trigger your body to ovulate instantly—releasing at least one egg. Without taking the time to do this, my sperm is useless—it won’t survive after ejaculation unless my venom has been coursing through your body.”
“So, you are saying Aldawi males have their natural version of birth control?”
“Yes… unless another male recently barbed the female,” he explained softly. “If she is barbed in estrus, then the venom stays in her system until it’s over. This is how she can give birth to multiple cubs, each by a different sire in the same litter.”
“That explains everything,” she whispered, her voice almost lost in the gentle breeze.
“Selena… let me prove it to you—”
“Take me. Take me right here, right now. Prove to me I’m not just a Seedbearer to you,” she demanded. Her voice deepened, thick with need as her eyes burned in the night’s darkness. “They told me we might not have many of these nights together, and I don’t want to waste them rehashing the same argument over and over. Prove to me I’m not wrong in this and take me.”
A snarl ripped through the air as he surged forward. Zirene’s paws grabbed her sheer nightgown and yanked, effortlessly splitting the fabric in half. The sound cut through the air, drowning out the sounds of the nightlife.
Selena gasped from her sudden nakedness as he removed the shredded fabric from his claws, allowing the pieces to fall aimlessly onto the ground. He swiftly grabbed her ass and pulled her to the railing’s edge before throwing her legs onto his shoulders.
This was the spot where he fantasized taking her for the first time. He’d designed her whole villa to fit her needs and allow them multiple locations for him to make her his, marking each area with the scent of their lovemaking. He was taller, towering over her whenever they stood side by side, but in this position, it wouldn’t matter. He placed his hardened cock between her folds and groaned at their wetness.