Chapter Seven
Fersa
I did not wake up a wolf that morning, because I never slept deep enough to dream of running through the forests on four legs.
Damnit.
I got up when the servants were only just getting the fires going and got dressed on my own.
Sure, they told me not to go out into town alone, but my patience for rules had run out. I needed to be by myself, and I needed to be outside. I crept down the stairs, picked my cloak off the stand in the hall, and slipped out the heavy doors.
It was such a relief, just to be free! I was not exactly alone, because other people were walking down the streets as well, but they were mostly servants at this hour and minding their own business. No one was telling me not to slouch, or correcting my speech. The sun was just creeping up over the sea in the east.
I reached the end of our street and looked both ways. A few carriages trotted by. Most people were on foot, walking up from the docks and markets. The town was built on an incline, so if I turned left, I went uphill toward the forest, but it was still far away. If I turned right, I could see the ships and the ocean.
People nodded at me in a friendly way as I walked by. “Good afternoon and God bless ye, Red Hood!” One of the distant Rafferty aunties greeted me. “What are you doing out alone before church?” I just shrugged.
Street vendors were singing out their various calls: “Oysters and clams, fresh today!” “Rosemary and thyme, get it early before it’s gone!” Servants were buying fresh food for Sunday dinners. A brisk wind blew off the sea, tugging at my red cloak, and I pulled it close around me.
I walked all the way down to the docks, where I no longer saw anyone I knew. A line of gray clouds was slowly moving in with the wind, and fishing boats were sailing out. Ropes creaked and waves slapped the sides of the ships. Beyond the ships and men was the ocean, endless and churning. I knew I should probably turn back, but I was somewhat fascinated to stand at the edge of civilization. It reminded me of looking at the moon. I walked all the way to the end of an empty dock, lined with a few shacks, and spread my arms, feeling the wind in my clothes and hair.
“What’re ye doing out here, lass?” An old human man in an oiled, fisherman’s coat called out to me. “Little Red Hood,” he continued. “I’ve heard of ye. Ye looking for something, starin’ out at the sea?”
“I guess we all are.” I started to walk back up the dock, past him.
He followed me. “Yer the wolfkin girl, aren’t ye?”
“Fersa Rafferty,” I said. It was the first time I had invoked my father’s name as my own. I was getting nervous, but I told myself that this was a safe place. These were good people here. He wouldn’t hurt me.
A hand grabbed my cloak and dragged me back. He pushed me against one of the weathered clapboard shacks. “I heard ye wolfkin girls like to fuck. When the moon’s full ye can hardly help it.”
I shook my head frantically. My skin was getting very hot, my ribs jabbed by my stays with every quick breath. “No,” I said. “That’s a myth. It’s just once a year in the winter.”
“So when’s that? It’s almost winter…” He pinned my wrists against the wall and rubbed his erection against me. “Might as well get a jump on it, eh?”
“Back the fuck off,” I said. As a girl, I was so weak compared to a man. And all my stupid clothes. My panic spiked, my instincts screaming. Don’t—don’t—
“Ah, no need for that kind of talk, Miss Rafferty. Have pity on a poor man, would ye? I’ll be good to ye.” He shoved my wrists together and gripped them both in one brawny hand so he could unleash his cock from his trousers.
My instincts realized that this was only going to go one of two ways. I didn’t even hesitate. I slipped into my wolf form. I’d be damned if he was going to take advantage of me.
He was so startled that he immediately let go of my hands, but I had my own problems. I was still wearing my fine clothes. The stays were much too small for the thicker chest of a wolf. The laces of the stays strained open but didn’t break, as the shoulders of my dress split reluctantly. My petticoats hampered my legs and the hood of my cloak fell forward, blocking my sight. I tried to run but I didn’t want to plunge off the dock. It was hard to breathe.
I heard the shed door swing open and some jostling. He might be looking for a weapon. He grabbed my cloak and it tore away from me. At least I could see now. I twisted back to bite him and managed to tear his shirt but I held back from actually ripping his arm off. This was my only home, my only family. Would the people of Pennarick be so kind if I killed a man? Even in self defense?
He jabbed my side with something sharp that pierced my skin. “Back off, wolf!”
I howled with pain and tried to run for it again, struggling with the skirts. I heard his footsteps behind me and the weapon jabbed me again.
“Hey!” I heard Patrick shout in the distance. He came running, swinging one of the poles the fishermen used to hook and pull their catch. “What’s going on?”
When I saw him, I turned back into a girl and clutched my bleeding side. “This bastard tried to fucking rape me!” I didn’t feel like softening my language one bit right now.
The fisherman cowered when he saw Patrick coming, lifting his hands. “No, sir, I swear, I wasn’t going to hurt her. ‘Twas all a misunderstanding.”
“She’s bleeding.” Patrick swung the pole at him and knocked him off the dock. He splashed into the cold water and screamed, swimming for a rope ladder that hung down some distance away.
“Well, he knows how to swim, so I’m sure he’ll manage,” Patrick said, holding a hand down to me. I took it, holding my tattered dress together with my other hand.
“I shouldn’t have come here. I didn’t know there were any men like that in town.” I was more furious than scared.
“You do get rough ones by the docks,” Patrick said. “Workers for hire who travel around. The rest of it’s safe enough. C’mere, lass, let’s get you home. You’re lucky I was here. Hold this, and I’ll hold you.” He handed me the axe, although it was quite heavy. When I took it, he scooped me into his arms. I had never felt so…small. And feminine. It was a strange feeling.
“You’re out before the church bells are ringing. Just needed some time to yourself, eh?” he asked.
“Mmhm…” I didn’t know what to say.
“You need someone to take care of you,” he said.
“I’ve always taken care of myself just fine.”
“But you were a wolf, then. Now, you’re a girl. And if you want to stay a girl, you should have a good husband who will walk with you and protect you.” He winked. “But I’ll let you consider that a while. Let’s get you home for now.”
I was still disturbed at the idea that I was so fragile I must have a husband accompanying me everywhere. “Yes…”
“I’ll explain everything to your father when we get to the house.”
That was exactly how it went. Patrick smoothed everything over for me. It was clear that he had a level of authority I did not possess. If he said I needed to be outside for my health, everyone believed him.
Besides that, there was a lot of little secretive smiling between Father and Katherine and Patrick.
“I’ll see you at church,” Patrick said, tipping his hat before he left.
“Who knows?” Katherine said. “Maybe jingle bells in December will lead to wedding bells in April. Poor dear. Let’s get you bandaged up quickly! It doesn’t look too deep…”
I needn’t have worried about going to church. It wasn’t as religious as I expected. I mean, there was a sermon, but it was more like storytelling and talking about concepts like kindness and being neighborly. It didn’t make me think about Mother’s death too much, as I had feared. More than anything, it was social. The young ladies were all dressed up, and the young men as well, with invitations for carriage rides home flying around. And of course, Patrick kept looking at me all morning.
“Mr. and Mrs. Rafferty.
Miss Fersa. I hope you’re feeling better.” He approached us, giving me a small bow, after the sermon. “Might I have the pleasure of escorting you home?”
My father and Katherine looked so pleased, and Patrick was looking so handsome in his Sunday best that I nodded. The snowball fight with Agnar seemed like a long time ago after the scare this morning. And after all, everyone wanted me to be with Patrick, it seemed. It was easier for me to see myself with someone from the wolvenfolk, but I was half human, too, and oddly enough, Patrick actually seemed more physical than Agnar. My body thrilled when he put his big hands around my waist and swung me up into his carriage. Not like it did around Agnar, but…maybe that was the way of human courtships. Maybe they always took more time. He tucked the blanket around me.
“Warm enough?”
“Plenty warm.”
“Yes, you’re a tough little lass, aren’t you?”
He understood. Maybe Patrick Rafferty was the man for me, after all. And the town looked so pretty from here behind Patrick’s fast horses. Houses and trees were covered in snow. The windows of the shops were decorated with holly and juniper, pine and fir. Chickadees were perched in the bare branches of the bushes in neighborhood gardens. Patrick drove us the long way along the High Road, with a view of the whole harbor.
“Do you want something to fight?” Patrick asked after a moment.
The question surprised me. “What do you mean?”
“I want to go look for the white wolf. Some people have seen him around here.”
“Oh—really?”
“So they say. I haven’t seen him for myself, but I’ll find him. You could track him, couldn’t you?”
“Are you actually asking me to turn into a wolf? And track my own kind?”
“‘Your own kind’? Well, he’s a traitor. He killed the sacred stag and kidnapped the queen.”
“I thought that was his brothers who kidnapped the queen?”
“They’re a bad lot, either way. His own clan wants him dead, they say. You don’t need to defend him.”
“I wasn’t defending him. I’m just not sure if—”
“It’s a hefty reward,” he said. “You could really start a life with a purse like that…” His long leg pressed against mine.
I flushed.
“Something inside you wants out, doesn’t it?” he said. “Think about it. We have to take him alive.”
“He might hurt me…”
“I’m a good shot with a bow. I’d cover you and stick him in a spot that isn’t fatal.”
“No arrows,” I said quickly. “Please.”
He paused and I think he knew I meant; maybe he had heard the story of my mother. “All right, lass, no arrows. Of course I don’t want to kill him. I can bring a net and a tranquilizer. But that’s just details. The point of it is to feel the wind and the rush…”
I did want to feel that. The hunt. Yes, I missed that. I’d just never hunted another wolf before.
As if he anticipated my apprehension, Patrick said, “Fersa, someone’s going to get that wolf. It might as well be us. We won’t hurt him, and we won’t use the reward for anything nefarious. Just imagine the kind of people who are probably salivating over that fifty gold.”
“Would Father and Katherine let me do something like that?”
“No, I don’t think they would,” he said, laughing. “I’ve thought of that. You’ll go pay a visit to your grandmother, and while you’re there, we’ll meet up for the hunt.”
“My grandmother?”
“You haven’t heard the tale of your grandmother? Ask your father about her. I think you’ll be happy to pay her a visit once you hear it.”
“Your grandmother…,” Father murmured.
I brought it up as soon as Patrick brought me home. Father stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Shouldn’t be Patrick’s business, but he does seem to have a liking to the old girl. I suppose I should tell you about her sooner rather than later…”
“Oh, come on! I’m only getting more curious!”
“I told you my grandfather was a hard man. I told you I ran away. I didn’t tell you about the other link in the chain. I don’t want to encourage you! But—when my father died, and I ran away, my mother ran after me. Well, she ran into the woods, at any rate. You can only imagine—it was a disaster for my grandfather’s reputation. Grandson and daughter both running off into the forest? Eventually I came back, as I said. It wasn’t easy. I truly loved your mother. I really had to behave myself when I got back, mind you. We’re quite forgiving here, but every tongue in town was wagging about what I’d done.”
“But…your mother?” I pressed.
“Yes. Mother…when I got back, she had moved into an old cabin in the woods, and she refused to come back. She lives there to this day. She’s getting older now, but she won’t budge. Still chopping wood…” He shook his head, his eyes fond. “I admire her, but she worries me to death. She’s so alone out there, Fersa. I don’t want you to be alone.”
“Can I meet her?”
“We’ll go see her when the winter snows end,” he said.
My eyes drifted to the window. Snow was drifted against the pane. “She really lives all alone out there in the snow? And she’s a human?”
“We’re not that helpless.” He patted my head in an absent, tender gesture like I was one of the boys. “That’s no place for anyone who isn’t half crazy, which I fear your grandmother might just be, even if she hides it well enough.”
“You’d let her be all alone during the yuletide season?” I’m not sure I was very good at imploring eyes, but I tried my best. Now I wanted to meet this grandmother of mine, no matter my plans with Patrick.
“She’s bound and determined to be out there,” he said.
“But I can’t go see her? Father—you know how much I miss the woods. Maybe it would help if I could spend just a little time out there, talking to another woman who has been torn between the town and the wilds. But I could help her, too. I’m young and strong. If she needed help with anything at the cabin to prepare for winter, I could do it. And there’s a rogue wolf out there. You just said you worry about her.”
“I do,” he admitted.
“Please?”
He paused. “After the yuletide ball, you can go visit her. Patrick Rafferty has already asked me if he could take you.”
“Oh, did he? He didn’t ask me.”
“He will. It’s proper for him to ask my permission first.”
I rolled my eyes. “All right.”
Chapter Eight
Fersa
I was tremendously excited to have an escape plan. When Agnar showed up on Monday, I dreaded my lessons more than ever.
“I didn’t even know if you’d come back,” I told him, when the door shut behind him. “You seemed so cross at me yesterday.”
“It’s a good position,” he said, idly brushing his fingers on the keys of the piano in the corner.
“Do you play?” I asked.
“No. I don’t really understand music.”
“Really? It’s so beautiful.”
“That is one area where I’m all animal, I suppose, much to my regret.”
“Well, there had to be something,” I said, adding, “Don’t worry about what I said the other day. My cousin will be asking me to the yuletide ball, so there you are. I won’t push myself on you again.”
“Patrick Rafferty?” he asked, his voice getting a whispery edge, like a blade being sharpened.
“Aye…you know him?”
“He’s a hunter.”
“Yes, I guess he is. Are you going to the ball?”
“I was invited. I may go just to say hello since they were kind enough to extend the invitation. I don’t get that many of them.”
I suddenly felt awkward. “We’re halfway through the alphabet, aren’t we?” I picked up his case of books myself, trying to change the subject.
“He wants to find that white wolf…”
“I would never
want to hurt another wolf,” I said. “Except that wolf is wanted by his own clan and King Brennus. They said the very spirit of the forest asked King Brennus to hunt him down.”
“I know, but I still have a hard time condemning another wolf, knowing how many of our kind have been killed and persecuted by elves and humans.”
“How can we argue with the very forest itself?”
“That’s true,” Agnar admitted. “The blue stag is very beautiful and very rare.”
“Indeed,” I said, relieved that he wasn’t judging me for it. But then we both lingered a moment in silence.
“The fertile moon will be coming soon,” he said, when the pause grew very long.
“The fertile moon! I haven’t heard it called that before. Well, you don’t have to worry about the fertile moon. I’m going away to visit my grandmother in the woods during the heat.”
“Ah. Well, be careful of stray wolves in the woods.”
“Naturally. I’m not some bitch with no control at all. I’m not taking up with some rogue.” No, I’d have Patrick to keep my mind off that.
Yes. Yes, I’d have Patrick.
Agnar, I thought, could at least bother being a little jealous.
It hit me suddenly that it was all I wanted. For Agnar to demand that I accept his invitation to the ball instead. After all, Patrick hadn’t actually asked me yet, just Father.
Agnar handed me a piece of paper, and the quill, and formed some letters as an example, talking for a bit about what sound they matched. He told me to write them out. I did, trying to copy his controlled loops. My hands seemed a little unusually clumsy. Maybe because he was sitting behind me and staring at them as I wrote.
I stopped, shoving an errant lock of hair out of my eye. “Well, don’t breathe down my neck, I’m trying.”
Warm hands suddenly clutched my shoulders, his forehead pressing into the back of my skull. Now he really was breathing down the back of my neck. “Fersa…you’re not going to a dance with that blood-hungry bastard.”
Taming Red Riding Hood Page 6