by Amira Rain
"I'm sorry."
Sure I was glaring, I immediately looked up at him. "Are you? Really?"
He didn't respond, just took another gulp of his whiskey, possibly as a way to avoid my eyes, I thought. After setting the glass back on the table, he asked if I'd like more food, and surprisingly, I said no thank you. Even as hungry as I'd been earlier, and even as delicious as Mary-Alice's cooking was, I found I'd already had enough. She soon returned to the dining room and served us large slices of homemade key lime pie, which I didn't refuse, not wanting to hurt her feelings.
While Cole and I ate, he again asked me what I'd done for a living in Chicago, and I told him that after my parents had died, I'd dropped out of college during my senior year to run their antique bookstore. "They'd only opened it two years earlier, after they'd both retired from academia. My mom was a literature, composition, and rhetoric professor, and my dad was the most highly-regarded medieval literature professor in the country. Running a large bookstore filled with only antique books, classics, and literary fiction titles was the fulfillment of a lifelong dream for both of them. So...I had to continue it, I guess."
"And were you happy to?"
Glancing up from my pie, I said of course. "It was their dream...I felt duty-bound to continue on with it."
Cole said he understood, and we both went back to our pie. After another bite, I finished the last of my second large glass of wine, realizing that the alcohol was possibly making me feel a little chatty. I normally didn't drink.
"So, anyway, I did continue on with it, even through the Takeover and the several years after, and that's what I was still doing when my Gifted powers became manifest. I had to temporarily shutter the store then, but it's not permanent. I'm going back to Chicago someday, and I'll open it again to carry on my parents' dream. The agents who posted me to North Haven allowed me to enter into a special Gifted contract stating that after a term of three years, my service to my country will be considered fulfilled, and I can return to Chicago to reopen the family business if I want to, which I know I will. Considering what a good life my parents gave me and how much they loved me, it's the least I can do to honor their memory."
Seeming to be studying my face, Cole said he understood, then we both fell silent. Head spinning just a bit, I realized with embarrassment that my two large glasses of wine had indeed made me a little chatty. Possibly to fill the silence that had fallen between us, somehow heavy and oppressive, Cole lifted the wine bottle and asked if I'd like a refill.
I shook my head and said no, thank you. "I've, um...I've probably had enough."
I found I wasn't quite done talking yet.
CHAPTER FOUR
With my head still spinning slightly, I looked at Cole and spoke in a voice that held just a hint of a slur. "I know you don't want to tell me exactly why you kidnapped me, even though I'm pretty sure I already know. And I know you don't want to tell me why you keep saying I'm pregnant with your child, and...well, so...fine, I guess. But I've answered a few questions from you, so I think you should answer at least one of mine. Why do you like keeping birds? Do you just like keeping pretty things in cages?"
I was really feeling the wine, and I knew I was, but I just hadn't been able to stop myself from saying what I had. Part of the problem was that I'd become intensely curious as to why Cole apparently enjoyed keeping birds, despite the fact that having any curiosity at all in regards to the likes and dislikes of a possibly-disturbed man who'd kidnapped me disgusted me.
I'd thought that what I'd said might anger Cole, but instead he just shrugged, knocked back the rest of his whiskey, and spoke in a strong, clear voice that didn't hold even the faintest trace of a slur. "I don't know exactly why I like keeping birds. I've just always liked them. But as far as liking to keep pretty things in cages, I don't. I'd much prefer to see pretty things fly free."
"So, is that why you kidnapped me and are holding me against my will?"
Calmly, but with muscles working in his jaw indicating anger, Cole balled up his linen napkin and set it on the table, then looked directly into my eyes. "I'm telling you that we're not going to have this discussion tonight, and that's the end of it. I'd like us to get to know each other a little better first before we further discuss the reason that I took you from the battlefield."
I'd become almost a hundred percent certain he'd kidnapped me to gratify his sexual desires. However, I was feeling confused, and not just because of the wine. I was confused about how someone who was apparently kind to his elderly housekeeper could plot and execute a plan to kidnap a woman and take her prisoner with the intent of violating that woman. It just didn't make sense. Frankly, it also didn't make much sense that a murderous Angel leader would display any sort of kindness to his housekeeper anyway. I'd always heard that the vast majority of Angels, especially leaders, were cold as ice and terribly cruel. There was something about Cole that I just wasn't "getting." Something about who he was, how he acted, and things he'd said weren't clicking right in my brain.
One thing was clear to me now, though. For whatever reason, it seemed he didn't have plans to violate me immediately. While this made me feel relieved, it also made me feel very nervous and edgy at the same time. The thought of waiting for a sexual assault, never knowing when it might happen, was one that made me push the last few bites of my pie away, stomach churning.
"I think I'm ready to go back to my room now."
Just then, Cole's phone began going off, and he pulled it from his jeans pocket and glanced at the screen, apologizing. "Just one second. I need to take this."
After rising from his seat, he answered the call and moved a few paces from the table, not far enough away that I couldn't still hear him above the soft music. However, other than telling the caller to go ahead, he didn't speak at first, just listened, kind of pacing around, jaw clenched, for maybe half a minute. Then, with his expression darkening, he finally spoke again. "All right. That's it, then. I gave him fair warning. I need to sleep first, though. Bring him to me in the clearing behind the barn tomorrow at dawn."
Intrigued, I wanted to hear more, but Cole abruptly ended the call. At the same time, Mary-Alice came into the dining room, looking somehow expectant, and Cole thanked her for the meal and told her that we didn't need anything else.
Once we'd said goodnight to her while she smiled sweetly, bustling around clearing the dishes away, Cole began leading me back down to my room, covering the birds' cages with dark cloth along the way so they could settle down and go to sleep. Neither of us spoke until we were heading down the hallway that led to the foyer and the east wing. But then, I had a sudden thought that startled me and made me feel ashamed and filled with dread all at once.
"All the shifters and Gifteds from North Haven...were any of them seriously hurt or killed in the fight?" I absolutely couldn't believe this thought hadn't crossed my mind earlier. Though I hadn't known many people in North Haven, and I hadn't known what few people I had known for long, I still considered everyone there my friends, and I cared about them.
Just like I'd done during our trip down to the dining room, I'd brought Cole to a stop with a hand on one of his forearms, and now, realizing this, I pulled my hand away, not wanting to touch him. "Please just tell me if everyone is okay. Are they?"
Cole had shut off the hallway light along the way, and now in the dim light filtering down from the foyer, I couldn't quite read his expression. When he spoke, which he did fairly immediately, I didn't hear any wavering or deception in his voice. "Everyone survived the fight in North Haven, and without any major injury. This is mainly because I pulled my fighters back right away after we'd gotten what we'd come for, which was you. I also didn't bring my full army, because my aim was never to do full battle with the North Haven lions today. I don't feel that my army is quite where I want it to be yet...though soon."
I just stared at Cole for a long moment, incredulous. "So...you're telling me that the sole reason you attacked North Haven this morning was just s
o that you could abduct me from the battlefield? How...." Mind reeling, I paused. "How do you even know me? I mean...what do you mean it was me, specifically, that you came for? Or do you just mean that you came looking for any woman who caught your eye in particular. Because I know for a fact that we've never met, so-"
"It's late, Lauren, and we're not going to discuss this further tonight."
Snorting, I stomped by him. "Fine. I guess what you say goes, since you're the one holding me prisoner, Commander Marlowe."
He seemed to have forgotten about our agreement to address each other formally, but I hadn't. Currently, I didn't want his informal name to pass my lips.
When I was nearly to my bedroom, he stopped me with a hand on my shoulder, but I shook it off, whirling around to face him. "I want you to know that each and every time you try to touch me, I'm going to try to fight you. I'm not going to make things easy for you. If I can at least physically harm you in the process, I will."
With his face lit with the amber glow from the hurricane lamps, Cole frowned. "I want you to know that I'm not going to hurt you."
I scoffed. "So you say, but I don't believe you. From various things you've said tonight, at least now I know for sure why you kidnapped me and brought me here. And with that being the case, let's just get it over with, then. Go ahead and try to rape me. I know you're going to eventually."
Expression unreadable, Cole gave his head a slight shake. "No. That's not how I like it. Never have. I like a woman to want me just as much as I want her. I like a woman to enjoy what's happening just as much as I am."
This was not exactly the response I'd been expecting to hear, which left me a little flustered. "Well...well, you may as well just leave me be and go to your own room then, because I'd never enjoy anything with you."
"Are you really sure about that, Lauren?"
I suddenly wasn't. "Yes, I am."
Surveying my face in the dim light, Cole didn't respond right away. "All right, then. Prove it. Allow me to kiss you, then tell me again that you'd never enjoy anything with me."
Now it was my turn to hesitate in my response, studying the shape of Cole's full lips. Although I didn't want them to be, I couldn't deny that they were downright delectable-looking. In fact, a few times over the course of the evening, I'd caught myself briefly imagining, seemingly against my will, what they might feel like to kiss.
When I finally responded to Cole after a few moments, the words that came out of my mouth surprised even me.
"All right. I give you permission to kiss me."
CHAPTER FIVE
I had no idea why I'd said what I had. Or rather, I did, and that was because I'd become irrationally desperate to feel Cole's lips against mine. I just had no idea why I'd allowed myself to say what I had. Obviously, I knew agreeing to let Cole kiss me was a bad idea. Logically I knew that, although at present time, the logical gears in my mind weren't turning very rapidly. All I knew was that I wasn't going to take back what I'd said or tell Cole that I'd changed my mind. There was no turning back now. Not now that I'd started to feel like I needed him to kiss me. Needed him to, or else what, I wasn't sure. But I needed him to.
After a moment or two spent looking into my eyes, seeming to make sure that I wasn't going to rescind my permission, Cole took a step closer to me, cradled my face with his large, long-fingered hands, and then brought his mouth to mine. Instantly, butterflies rioted in my stomach. Soft in texture but firm in touch, his lips felt just as I'd hoped they would, maybe even a bit better in some indefinable way. Simply put, the feel of them was exquisite. Not to mention that Cole's masculine, woodsy scent, which I was drawing in deeply through my nostrils, was making my head spin in a very pleasant sort of way, a way that was infinitely more pleasurable than my slight wine buzz.
At first, Cole kissed me with such slowness and tenderness that I curled my toes in my tennis shoes, reveling in the sensation, as well as the feel of his strong hands gently cradling my face. But then, after a short while, he intensified the kiss, probing my lips apart and beginning to explore my mouth with his tongue, causing me to make a little whimper of desire. It had been far too long since I'd been kissed passionately. It had been far too long since I'd been kissed at all. Or had engaged in sensual pleasure of any kind.
During college, I'd had a steady boyfriend I'd thought I'd been in love with, but when he'd proposed marriage, I found that I just couldn't see a future with him, for whatever reason. Although he was an attentive boyfriend and our lovemaking had been pretty good, for the most part anyway, I felt that there was something I needed to feel with him that I just wasn't. Then, not too long after our breakup, my parents had died, and then the Takeover had happened, throwing the nation into chaos. Trying to run my parents' business while experiencing constant anxiety about recurring Angel attacks, I'd found that I just wasn't very interested in dating.
Later, once the city had rebuilt and stabilized some, I'd had a few different relationships, one of them semi-serious, but again, in the end, I'd just felt like something was missing. Not to mention that also again, the lovemaking had been fairly good, and yet I'd always been left somehow unsatisfied, despite this particular boyfriend's very serious, energetic efforts. After him, feeling as if I just needed to focus on the business and the business alone, I'd just kind of sworn off dating for the time being, telling any man who showed interest in me that I already had a boyfriend. That had been about six months earlier. So, even though it had been by choice, I'd been a little deprived in the romance and intimacy department, especially since I was a woman who'd always had a pretty high drive when it came to intimacy.
In the present, my deprivation was making me feel like I was a sponge, just wanting to soak Cole up. In response to the increasing intensity of his kiss, I yielded to him fully, tipping my head back to allow him better access to the depths of my mouth. Based on a low growl rumbling deep in his broad chest, he wanted to soak me up just as much as I wanted to do the same to him. However, just as I was thinking about taking his hands from my face and moving them around to the small of my back in an attempt to get him to pull me close against the front of his body, he took his hands from my face on his own, broke our kiss, and spoke in a low, husky voice with his eyes glassy in the warm lamplight. "Now look at me, and tell me you could never enjoy anything with me."
I was looking at him, but I sure as hell couldn't say those words. I'd never been great at delivering bald-faced lies. After waiting a few moments, as if to make sure I wasn't even going to attempt to deny the pleasure I'd experienced during our kiss, Cole spoke again with his deep voice soft and pleading. "Will you just trust me? Will you just trust me that I won't ever hurt you? Just for a short time, until I can explain some things to you and get you to understand. Please...say you will."
I wanted to. I wanted to trust him and I wanted to say that I did. But for some reason, I just couldn't do either.
Frowning at my silence, Cole took my face in his hands again. "I've seen you in my dreams."
"What do you mean?"
"Just, please...say that you'll trust me for a short while."
Looking from his eyes to his lips, desperately wishing he hadn't stopped kissing me, I didn't answer right away. "All I can say is that I'll try...I'll try to trust you, even though there's still so many things that I don't understand about you. But in return, I want you to do something for me."
"What is it?"
"You have to stop with your little joke about me being pregnant with your child. Maybe you think it's funny, but-"
"It's not a joke. You are pregnant with my child."
Immediately, I flung his hands off my face. "Right. When I barely even know you, and when we've certainly never even slept together."
"Please just at least try to trust me, like you said."
"You know what? No. I'm not giving even an ounce of my trust to a man who's clearly a crazy, delusional, utter and total complete damned liar."
Jaw clenched and without taking his
gaze from my face, Cole gently kicked open my half-ajar bedroom door. "Congratulations. You've now earned yourself confinement in your room, door locked from the outside, until you're ready to speak to me with respect in my own home."
"Well...well, I'm some kind of a guest in your own home, if a person who was very disrespectfully kidnapped from a battlefield, by you, can even be called a guest, so...well, so...."
I didn't have a damned clue what I was trying to say. To my extreme dismay and frustration, the sight of Cole's full lips was distracting me to the point that I just couldn't get a handle on my thoughts.
"So what, Lauren?"
"So...I don't even know what. So, you can go straight to hell, I guess. You...you damned liar."
Clenching his jaw again, Cole gestured to the dark interior of my bedroom. "In you go...before I pick you up and put you in there myself."
"Fine. But aren't you at least going to give me one more kiss before shutting me in my room?" Damn me, but I could not stop focusing on his maddeningly sensuous lips. His thick, dark, gently curling hair was also periodically attracting my attention. I wanted to tangle my fingers in it. Preferably while Cole was kissing me with the length of his long, muscular body pressed against mine.
In response to what I'd said about one more kiss, he looked at me, glassy eyes glinting with what I thought was amusement. He then pulled me into his strong arms, surprising me, but he didn't lower his mouth to mine. He didn't kiss me. Instead, he just looked at me with the corners of his mouth just faintly twitching.
Frustrated, I fought the urge to issue a petulant groan. "Well, are you or aren't you? Aren't you going to give me just one more kiss before locking me away?"