Marry Me...Again

by Cheryl St. John

  “I’ve been waiting.”

  She glanced toward the lake, then down at her hands, as if she didn’t want to speak about whatever it was she had on her mind. Dev was really nervous now. If she brought up a divorce, he didn’t know what he would say. What did he have to offer that would change her mind?

  Abruptly, she rose on her knees, dug into her jeans pocket and took out a piece of paper, which she unfolded and offered him.

  Dev accepted the paper, straightened out the creases and glanced from her face to the printing.

  “Just read it,” she said.

  The letter, from a law firm in Las Vegas, was addressed to both of them. Dev read the contents, at first not comprehending, and then realization dawned. The import fell on him like a load of rocks, squeezing the breath from his chest, pressing the life from his heart.

  He looked up and met her probing brown eyes, darker and more serious than ever.

  “Is this legitimate?”

  She nodded. “I had an attorney investigate. It’s all correct.”

  An attorney? She’d had time to talk to a lawyer? “When did you get this?”

  “It came on Monday.”

  Anger pushed every other emotion to the side. All the fear, all the uncertainty, the sense of betrayal and personal violation slid aside for the all-consuming fury that welled up and spilled over. “You knew this four days ago and you just now saw fit to tell me.”

  It was a statement, his voice controlled and hard.

  “Yes,” she said. “I made sure that the accusation was correct and that the lawsuit was legit.”

  “That it’s true we’re not legally married.”

  She nodded and looked away. “I found out where we stood on the house.”

  Dev’s thoughts tumbled into semicoherence. “The house? What are you talking about, the house?”

  “I wanted to know how this affected our joint property,” she began.

  Dev jumped up from the blanket and paced, several feet away, then stormed back and glared down at her. “What the hell does the damned house have to do with anything?”

  Brynna’s startled expression showed her surprise at his shout, but she remained calm. “We bought it together, as man and wife, I wanted to know what that would mean, legally.”

  It meant they’d been duped, damn it! His whole world was crashing down around him and she was thinking about joint property. Didn’t she give a damn about what this meant to them as a couple? “What difference does it make?”

  She looked at him then, her brown eyes wide and round, but said nothing.

  “You learn that we were cheated out of a legal marriage, that a man claimed to marry us, but scammed us instead.” His insides felt like something was stretched so tight it was going to snap. “We lived together and made a life—we made a baby, thinking we were husband and wife when legally we weren’t. You find out all that and your first concern is what you’ll get out of the house?”

  “No, not what I’d get out of it…”

  “You can have the damned house, Brynna,” he said, throwing the letter down in her lap. “You’re the one who insisted you share the cost. I could have bought the place a dozen times over, but splitting it was important to you.” His words were bitter and cruel, but he didn’t care. “So keep the damned house. The hell with everything.” So angry he could hardly see clearly, Dev struggled to regain his composure.

  The breeze fluttered the letter, and Brynna caught it with trembling fingers and folded it neatly against her denim-clad knee.

  “You know what?” he said, biting out the declaration fast and hard. “The hell with this, too. This is what you want.” With a rough twist, he jerked off his wedding ring. She had a way out, a back door to escape their marriage, and sure as hell, she’d champed at the bit to take advantage of it.

  With a burst of adrenaline, Dev hurled the ring out over the water, where the sun caught it for a gleaming timeless moment before the band arced downward and plunked into the lake with a small unsatisfying splash.

  “There. Done. You have what you want—you’re free of me.”

  He looked at her then, and the expression in her dark eyes was one he’d never forget. Shock. Fear. Disappointment. Pain? He was torn between kneeling beside her and pleading for her understanding and acceptance and shaking her until her teeth rattled.

  If he looked at her any longer, if he stayed, if he said another word, he’d break into a million pieces, so he stalked toward his truck and found himself backing it out and gunning the engine to get away from there. Away from her. From himself.

  It wasn’t working. He’d never get far enough away to ease this horrible gut-wrenching sense of betrayal. But he could try.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Brynna listened to the sound of the Lariat’s throbbing engine disappear. Somewhere a bird chirped, the sound echoing across the water, a surreal sort of taunt that reminded her again that life went on. No matter what. People ate and had babies and went to work and got sick and shopped; daily life revolved endlessly, no matter what the crisis.

  Gazing across the surface of the lake, she imagined Dev’s ring on the murky bottom somewhere, saw again the spinning gold band as it arced over the water almost in slow motion. Her heart had stopped while the ring was suspended in air, and she wasn’t sure if it had started beating again since. She was breathing, so it must have. But she didn’t feel alive. I’m dead inside.

  A ringing brought her out of her daze, and she realized it was her phone, which she’d left in the car. Her heart skipped a beat at the crazy thought that it might be Dev. Gathering the trash and the blanket, she answered the call.

  “Brynn, are you working?” It was Melanie.

  Her insides were still quaking. “No.”

  “I’m in a jam, can you come over and stay with the boys for a while?”

  An evening with John and Chandler would keep her mind occupied—at least for a while. “Sure, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  She sat in the car, absently watching a hawk circle above the lake. It swooped down toward the bank, and she closed her lids over her burning eyes. Dev had been angrier that she’d withheld the information about their marriage for a few days than he had been about the actual fact. What have I done?

  Her obsessive need to control everything had added to their problem, and she knew it. Closing both hands into fists, she tapped them against the steering wheel and pursed her lips in helpless frustration. Slowly, she opened her left hand and stared at the diamond-encrusted wedding ring set on her third finger.

  Three karats, all together worth more than her car or anything else she’d ever owned in her life. He’d pulled the rings from his pocket the day they were—the day they had believed they were married in Las Vegas. She’d told Dev the jewels were excessive. “So is my love,” he’d said with a guileless grin, one that turned up one side of his mouth and started heat pounding in her veins.

  Oh, he’d loved her in the ways he knew how, with his body and his money. But had his heart ever been involved? He believed so, she was sure. Did you ever love me, Dev? Truly love me?

  Reckless, that’s what she’d been. Reckless with her own heart. And now what did she have to show for it? The diamonds glittered with a life of their own in the sunlight. How easy it had been for him to twist off that wedding band and toss it into the lake. Another tether cut. Was there anything still holding him to her?

  Bringing herself out of her reverie, Brynna started the car and headed for Melanie’s. If she entertained any more thoughts like this, she’d be wallowing in self-pity for the rest of the night as well as all the days to come. Dev wasn’t exactly something she could shake off and forget. No matter how much she tried or how many little boys she sat for.

  She arrived at the house in time for Melanie to sweep out in a rose-scented hurry. She kissed her sons and waved at Brynna, eager to be on her way.

  Brynna turned to the boys and asked if they’d eaten dinner.

  “Yup,” C
handler said, and indeed, Brynna discovered a sink full of dishes and dirty pans on the stove. She ran water and submerged the pans to soak.

  Her nephews called for her to come see what they were doing. The two were nothing if not inventive. They had created a fort out of sheets from the linen closet and cardboard boxes they’d found in the garage. “Help us turn the fort into a castle, Aunt Brynn!” Chandler begged.

  “I was going to do up those dishes for your mom,” she said.

  The boys met her reply with crestfallen expressions.

  “Can Unca Dev come over?” Chandler asked innocently. “He will play with us.” He ran over to the portable phone where it lay on a table and picked it up. “What are his numbers?”

  “I’m afraid Uncle Dev can’t be here tonight,” she replied, gently taking the phone and replacing it.

  “Come on,” John said, taking his little brother’s hand and pulling him away. “We’ll do the castle ourselves.”

  She watched them walk away, hand in hand, and the image of Dev playing with them rose in her mind. Dev always stopped whatever he was doing and joined the children—or, more often, he had actually instigated the play. What’s wrong with me?

  It sometimes irritated her that others seemed to be having all the fun while she took care of the real-life details. Things got done because she did them. What would happen if she let the details go this one time?

  “Never mind the dishes,” she said, changing her mind aloud in a hasty decision. Melanie could do her own dishes whenever she got home.

  Brynna located duct tape and markers and joined John and Chandler in the family room. Soon they had converted the fort to a castle. She was the fair maiden and John and Chandler became the handsome knights who had to fight the imaginary dragon with nylon spatulas to rescue her. They played so hard, she couldn’t help laughing at their fierce determination to end the poor sofa’s life.

  This was what she had wanted for herself, kids…a family. Would Melanie’s family have to meet those needs forever? The growing fear that she would never have the desires of her heart sobered her and made her think of Dev all over again.

  He was in her heart, in her head, in her blood. “Let’s go run your bath, fellas,” she said.

  By the time Frank came home, she had the boys bathed and tucked in their beds, sound asleep. She had deliberately walked past the dishes to prepare herself a cup of tea before watching the news. Frank let himself in and joined her in the disheveled family room. He tossed aside a spatula and a throw pillow to sit. “What happened in here?”

  “Just your run-of-the-mill dragon slaying,” she replied.

  “Thanks for coming over. Melanie could have stayed when she knew I had to work late, but she insisted it was her night to take in a craft fair in Whitehorn, and she wasn’t going to miss it.”

  “Have you two come to any kind of agreement over her working part-time?” Brynna asked.

  “Are you going to nag me, too?” he answered back. “The boys need her here.”

  Even after that stock comment, Brynna felt comfort able talking candidly to her brother-in-law. They’d had serious discussions in the past and always respected each other’s opinions. “They need a mother who is fulfilled and not resentful of the time required to raise a family. You have time away from the house while you’re at work, but she doesn’t. She’s here 24/7.”

  He pulled a face. “You’re starting to sound like her.”

  “She could work hours opposite yours, or place the kids in day care a couple of days a week. Children enjoy a change of scenery and other kids to play with.”

  Frank gave her a thoughtful look. “I just don’t want the boys to feel neglected.”

  “I understand completely, really I do. Trust me, I would recognize neglect. But Melanie isn’t like our parents. She has devoted all her time and energy to this family. Trust her to know what’s good for her and for the boys and your marriage. You might have to experiment with an arrangement, but you can work out something.” Brynna stood and carried her cup to the kitchen, then returned for her purse and keys.

  Frank walked her out to her car.

  She stood beside the fender.

  “What’s happening with you and Dev?” he asked.

  She studied the sky. “He’s not living at the house.”

  “What happened? I don’t mean to pry, but I know about the miscarriage, and then about him missing Tuck’s birthday. There must be something in between, and if you’ve shared secrets with Mel, she hasn’t told me.”

  “It’s complicated,” she said. “He never wanted the baby. The pregnancy wasn’t planned, so it was a surprise to both of us, but he was relieved over what eventually happened.”

  “I have trouble believing that,” Frank said.

  She told him what Dev had said that afternoon at the hospital and about his apology afterward.

  “This situation isn’t all about him saying those things, is it? I mean guys are pretty clueless when it comes to stuff like that, and I can sure see him grasping at anything just to make you feel better. He said he didn’t mean it like that and yet you asked him to leave. That’s just a misunderstanding over words, not a reason for a breakup.”

  Frank liked Dev—everyone liked Dev, what was not to like? But his simple observation and defense echoed the truth.

  “There is more,” she admitted. “I was never sure about us. I knew from the very start that I was jumping headfirst into something I wasn’t prepared for. There was no planning or foresight with us, we just barreled straight ahead without looking. I barely knew him.”

  “And what, you’re sorry? You don’t really love him? He doesn’t make you happy? What?”

  She shook her head; no explanation would sound logical.

  “You’re just scared, plain and simple. Everybody’s scared of getting married, even if they’ve known each other a long time. You can’t predict a happy ending by planning it,” he scoffed.

  She didn’t have a ready reply.

  “You beat it all, sis. You’re the smartest woman I know and yet you’re the dumbest, all rolled into one.”

  She stared at her brother-in-law in the glow from the streetlight. She was more afraid of taking chances than she was of being alone. At least being alone was familiar. An uncertain future with a man who might or might not commit to a family with her was a fear she couldn’t accept. “I guess I am,” she said at last.

  He gave her an understanding brotherly hug, and she pulled away before she cried. Frank thanked her again and she wished him a good-night.

  No stars were visible in the soot-dark sky, and Brynna was glad the drive home was a short one. It had been easier to think about and discuss Frank and Melanie’s problems than to think about her own, and Frank had dragged it all out for her to examine again.

  She hadn’t told her brother-in-law the rest of it: about the letter and how she hadn’t told Dev until today. Today had been a nightmare, one she would probably relive every time she closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

  She hadn’t moved past showing Dev the letter. That had been as far as the discussion had gone before he’d blown up and left. Nothing had been discussed or planned about what they would do. As if there was a solution or a plan that would make a difference. Every time she thought about Dev working his wedding ring off and throwing it into the lake, she felt sick. Sick at heart, sick with herself and her controlling behavior, which had caused the problem.

  A day later, Brynna was drying her hair in the morning when the phone rang. She didn’t recognize the caller ID. “Hello?”

  “Brynna?”

  “Yes?”

  “Dear, this is Estelle,” Dev’s mother identified herself. “I’m on my way back to Seattle from the east coast, and I’ll be stopping by to visit this evening. Is Devlin there now? I thought he could meet me in Denver and escort me in one of his planes.”

  “Uh, no.” Caught off guard by the unexpected call, she fumbled for something to say—something to deter the woma
n. “He’s not. I heard—well, actually he’s helping with the fire.”

  “I saw the fire on the news,” Estelle exclaimed. “It’s dreadfully close to your little town, isn’t it?”

  “It’s headed south now, but it’s not contained.”

  “Is Devlin doing something dangerous?”

  “Any rescue work has an element of risk,” Brynna replied.

  “Well, at least he’s settled down and gotten married,” she said. Brynna hadn’t been Estelle’s ideal choice, since she wasn’t a wealthy socialite, but the woman had been accepting of the union.

  Brynna caught her breath. She and Dev weren’t really married. Who was going to tell Dev’s mother—his family? Brynna didn’t think he spoke to her very often, and it was obvious he hadn’t talked to her in the last couple of days. “I’ll have him phone you, Estelle,” she said. “Where can he reach you?”

  The woman rattled off a number and Brynna jotted it down on the mirror with an eyebrow pencil.

  “I’ll see you this evening,” she said. “Don’t plan anything fancy.”

  “All right.” Brynna pressed the off button and stared at her reflection with an expression of near-panic. Estelle had only visited them one other time, and that had been after they’d just moved into this house. Their things had still been packed in boxes, but after assuring Brynna that both of Rumor’s motels were out of the question, Dev had made up a guest room for his mother.

  Nerves jangling, she dialed Dev’s cell phone.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Yes?”

  “Dev, where are you?”

  “I’m in Big Timber loading donated supplies for the teams.” His voice was so achingly familiar, the sound gave her pause. “Is something wrong?” he asked.

  “Yes—no—not terribly wrong. It’s just that your mother called to say she’ll be visiting us this evening. She wants you to meet her in Denver to bring her here.”

  Dev mumbled something that sounded like a mild curse. “Great timing,” he added, “the woman always had great timing.”