by Tijan
stayed there, suspended, as he searched into me. I felt him trying to pierce my thoughts so I closed my eyes.
His hand gentled on my chin and he whispered, “Emma. Please.”
Oh god. Something coursed through me at his softness. I looked without thinking and was caught by his gaze. He had captured me, my body and mind. As a sob rose in my throat, my body betrayed me. It softened underneath his holds. The fight was leaving me and it was being replaced with desire. I was aware of the few inches that separated us. A throb started between my legs. It wanted him to press there, against my core. It was starting to ache.
As my body weakened, so did his holds. His legs moved to rest beside my legs, one of his knees remained pressed between mine. I fought to keep from squirming. I wanted his knee to move further up. I wanted to press down on it. Then I gasped as I felt a gentle nudge under my chin. As I blinked through a sudden onslaught of tears, he moved further up the bed so his face was above mine. He lowered so I felt his breath against my lips. His eyes were raking over me; a few lines were wrinkled around them as he looked with concern. A small frown appeared over his mouth.
“Tell me what happened.” His plea was so soft.
I broke. This wasn’t the stranger anymore. This was Carter, the boy I had grown up with. I flung my arms around him and pulled him down. Instead of fighting, I clung to him now.
He wrapped his arms around me and rolled to his side. He patted my back and tucked his head into the crook of my neck and shoulder. I felt his lips brush there as he repeated, “You have to tell me. I won’t hurt you. I will protect you.”
A shudder went through my body. At last. Those were the words I was desperate for. He moved his hands, one sliding down to my hip and the other cradling the back of my head, he pressed into me. The last of my reserve fled then. A gasp escaped me and I pressed against him. I needed him.
“Emma.”
Shame flooded me. He knew. What kind of person was I? Fighting, running away, and then starting to tremble in his arms?
His hand started to caress my hip. His fingers slid underneath my shirt and moved under my pants’ waistband. He held me there, his hand splayed out. I tried to resist, but I wanted to wind my legs around him. I wanted to pull him on top of me and feel his hand between my legs. But I didn’t do anything. I lay there, still, as my heart pounded inside of me. He could feel the beat against him. The thumping drowned everything else out.
He pressed a soft kiss to my forehead and raised himself up again. He looked down at me. The plea in his eyes was still there. As he brushed some of my hair from my forehead, he asked, “Do you not trust me?”
I nodded. “I’m scared of you.”
A small grin appeared at the corners of his mouth. “You are?”
“I don’t know who you are anymore.” I couldn’t believe I was admitting any of that, but I needed to trust someone. I had to if I was going to survive what I had done. Feeling a little bit brave, I touched his chest. My hand spread out like his was on my back. His heart was steady. I murmured, “I know who you are. I know you’re the Cold Killer. I know what you did for AJ.” A tear slipped from the corner of my eye. It fell unheeded. “I always wanted to thank you for that.”
He tensed. “You need to tell me who you killed.”
I’d been looking at his mouth, wondering distantly what they would feel like pressed to mine, when I heard the cold tone in him again. All the warmth and desire fled from me. I tensed as well and my gaze snapped back to his. My chest surged up in a small gasp as I saw nothing in his eyes. There was no amusement, no softening, nothing.
He was the stranger again.
My hand fell away from his chest. I lay beneath him, but he retracted his touches from me. He scooted to sit on the edge of the bed.
My chest started to ache. He couldn’t leave. I needed him.
“Enough with the games, Emma. Tell me who you killed.” He turned back. His eyes were like ice again. “I would like to help you. You and AJ were my family. I would do anything for you, but you’re wasting my time.”
He was right.
I sat up and moved so my back rested against the headboard. It was time. The new Carter and my old Carter were the same person. I didn’t need to be scared of this new one. He was the ruthless one, the one that I needed help from. “I killed Jeremy Dunvan.”
He clipped out, “Where?”
“In my apartment.”
His head nodded once. “Stay here.” And then he left.
Carter was gone for a long time. I waited, but after I ate a little bit more, I curled up on the bed. As soon as I pulled the comforter over me and snuggled into the pillow, I was out. I had never fallen asleep so fast. When I woke, the penthouse was still dark. He hadn’t come back. That affected me more than I wanted to admit, even to myself. But, with a stab of disappointment and something more, I looked around for my phone. When I found it along with my purse, I headed out.
I didn’t know what to do. He said to wait, but for how long. I couldn’t sit around for too long. What if he never came back?
I sucked in my breath as pain sliced through me. He said he’d protect me, but if he never came back, did that mean I was on my own? Either way, I’d been away from Mallory for too long. She needed to know that we would need to make our own decisions. We’d have to leave. That was all there was. It was the last resort, but we were out of choices. Carter had been a long shot. I could see that now.
When I stepped out of the penthouse, there was no guard. That only reaffirmed my decision. Carter had changed his mind. We were on our own.
When I got into the elevator, I remembered that we hadn’t come from the lounge so I wasn’t sure which button to push. There was a B and a 1, so I pushed the B to take me to the bottom floor. We had come in from the nightclub, a back entrance. I didn’t think I could find my way back that way, but when the doors slid open, I saw that I was still lost. B didn’t stand for bottom floor. It was the basement. I stepped out but then thought better of it—too late. The elevator closed behind me, and when I pushed the button again, it didn’t open back up again. After waiting another five minutes, I realized the doors weren’t going to open so I turned to peruse the basement.
Standard basement. Grey cement, big posts, and lots of shiny expensive-looking cars. I walked down an aisle and caught sight of a red sign in the far corner. Exit. With a sigh of relief, I headed that way. When I got to the door, it was massive and heavy, but I pushed through. I found another small set of stairs in front of me and felt a bit like Dorothy with the yellow-bricked road. However, as I went up two flights of stairs, I heard sounds from the street coming from behind an un-marked door. I shoved it open, slipped through, and found myself in a back alley. Heading to the closest road, I was where I had been two nights ago. There was a line to get into Octave. I recognized a few of the same people in that line, even the two girls who had hoped to get picked up by celebrities. They had the same eager look of desperation on their faces. One of them eyed me up and down, but as a sneer came to her face, I turned and walked the other way. I didn’t need to return to Octave. I had already gotten my answer.
I took a cab, and when it pulled in front of Ben’s, I heaved a deep breath. I didn’t want to go in there. I didn’t want to look in her eyes and see the agony that Jeremy had put in them. I didn’t want to tell her that we would need to leave, but I had to. There was no other choice.
Since the door was locked, I knocked.
Ben swept open the door, a fierce scowl on his face. “Where the fuck have you been?”
I cringed.
He had a butcher knife in his hand with a death grip.
“Have you had problems?”
“Oh, you mean Mallory’s nightmares and blood-curdling screams? No. No problems at all, except wait. You! Her roommate and best friend took off, didn’t tell us where you was going, and she thought you had deserted her.” After I stepped inside, he slammed the door shut. His scowl deepened. “Nice fucking friend you a
re, Emma.”
“Emma?”
A timid whimper came from the living room. Mallory stood there, wrapped in a blanket. Her hair was messed, some of it stood up and the other side was frizzy. There were bags underneath her eyes and her lip, still bruised from him, started to tremble.
“Mallory.” I wrapped my arms around her. I wanted to reassure her that we’d be alright. No matter how far we had to go, we’d be alive.
Her whole body started to shake as I hugged her. More sobs came out, and I could only hold her tighter. My hand smoothed her hair as I rocked her back and forth.
She grabbed onto me. Her hands formed into fists around my shirt. As tight as I was holding her, she clung to me even tighter. “Please don’t leave again.”
I shook my head. “I won’t. I promise.”
Ben stood in the doorway of the kitchen, watching us. His scowl softened and showed his fear. Then his eyes darkened into something that looked like panic before he turned away. The sink was turned on later and sounds of doing the dishes came next.
“She hasn’t been sleeping much.” I saw Amanda in the bedroom doorway. She gave me a sad smile, but I saw the same exhaustion that Ben had. She was in a blue tee shirt and a different pair of jeans. When she noticed that I was looking at her clothes, she lifted a shoulder up before she crossed her arms over her chest. “I went to work yesterday and grabbed some clothes for everyone.” She glanced towards the kitchen. “Ben didn’t go in. He was too scared to leave her. Every time she tries to sleep, she only gets an hour. Always wakes up screaming from what…,” she hesitated, “he did to her.”
Ben cleared his voice behind us. A towel was clenched in both of his hands now. “Can you get her to sleep a little?”
Amanda looked back at me. She shifted on her feet, uncomfortably. “She needs you or me to be with her. I’ve been…” She glanced over her shoulder at Ben. “Ben’s tried, but she won’t let him touch her. So I’ve been…”
I got it. My stomach twisted, but I nodded and led Mallory towards the bedroom. After an hour of lying in bed with her, holding her, she fell asleep. I waited another hour to make sure she stayed asleep. Her breaths were even and deep so I snuck out. When I went to the kitchen, Ben looked exhausted in a chair. His shoulders drooped down, and he had bags under his own eyes. A cup of coffee sat in front of him, but when I touched it, it was cold.
His coffee pot was empty. “You want another pot started?”
He jerked his head up, as if seeing me for the first time. “Oh. Uh. Yeah. Thanks.” He ran a hand over his face, waking himself up. “She’s asleep?”
I dumped the little bit of coffee left down the sink and refilled it with water. “Yeah. It took an hour.”
He nodded.
“Is Amanda still here?”
“No.” The exhaustion had turned into a glaze over his eyes. “She went home for a break. She’ll be back tomorrow. I think she said something about getting new clothes or something.”
After pouring the water in his coffee pot, I rummaged through his cupboards, looking for his coffee grounds. “And maybe food.” His cupboards were sparse except the huge bin of ground coffee beans. I put two healthy scoops in the machine and hit the button. It wasn’t long before it started to gurgle to life.
“Yeah, I haven’t gone to the grocery store in awhile. I’ve been too nervous…” He trailed off, lost in thought as he stared at the table.
“Too scared to leave?”
He jerked his head in a nod. “Yeah.” A sad laugh left him. “I’m a grown man, and I’m terrified. I can’t step out the door. I’m afraid they’re out there, that they know, they’re watching. And her.” He glanced in Mallory’s direction. “I can’t touch her. I tried to help her when she asked. She didn’t want his touch, but now it’s mine that disgusts her.”
“No, it’s not. It’s his. Trust me. You did help her. You are helping her.”
He lifted stricken eyes to me. “I’ve been an asshole to you. Why are you being nice to me?”
I shrugged but huddled back in my chair. I understood. “Because you want to help her but don’t know how. I understand. Believe me.”
He shook his head with his eyes closed. “I have no idea what to do, Emma. None whatsoever. She has to go to work. I have to go to work. I called and covered for us, but that’ll give us a week. We have to figure out how to clean this mess up in a few more days.” He looked towards the door again. “I’m so scared to go out there. You have no idea.”
“I do. I really do.”
Then he sighed. The momentary truce ended as he pushed up from the chair. “I’m going to clean up. That’s all I’ve been doing. I just clean. Clean the dishes, clean the table, clean the floors. I have to do something.” A bitter laugh escaped him. “I gotta clean myself. I’ll be in the shower if you—if she needs me.”
He was scared to step outside that door, but that was all I wanted to do. “I’m going out on the patio for some fresh air.” Maybe a new idea would come to me, but as he ignored me and left, I didn’t think it would come to me.
As I sat on his small patio, curled on one of his loungers, I couldn’t shake the idea that maybe I should go on the run. Mallory didn’t kill him. I did. He’d been hurting her. He hadn’t been hurting me. She could offer me for her safety, and I would be long gone.
My stomach rolled over and over. I felt nauseous, but I hugged myself harder. My arms pressed tighter to my stomach. It didn’t matter. I wasn’t going to stop the unsettled feeling inside of me. It wasn’t going to go away. I had tried with Carter. He left me so that gave me one other alternative. I would go away. Mallory would be safe.
With my new decision made, I was in no hurry to leave. I stayed in that chair for a long time. The night air was cold and I knew my body was shivering, but I didn’t feel it. I couldn’t. All I could focus was on the next step. Where would I go? How would I go? I needed money. I knew that much, but I didn’t have enough set aside. My job was better than all of theirs, but it still wasn’t enough. The little in my savings wouldn’t be enough. Ben and Mallory both worked at a fancy clubhouse. They didn’t make enough to help me at all. Amanda was a teacher. She might’ve had a little bit, but I knew she worked in the café during the summer to make ends meet.
I was on my own.
I sat outside for a long time. Ben came to the patio door and peered through it. When he saw me, he came out and gave me a blanket, but I didn’t leave the chair. I didn’t want to move, not yet, but I took the added warmth he offered. I wrapped the blanket around me, and he went back inside. The lights turned off and I was left in the dark again.
“I told you to stay put.”
I gasped and jumped in my seat.
Carter appeared around the patio’s corner. A fierce scowl was on his face and his eyes glittered in the moonlight. He was furious as he sat across from me. He was dressed all in black, black pants and a black sweatshirt with the hood pulled over his head. It shadowed his eyes. It made him look even more dangerous.
My throat went dry. As he had turned to pull out the chair, I saw a bulge from his back. Was that a gun? Of course, it was. This was Carter Reed. He killed. That’s what he did.
“What are you doing here?” My heart picked up. If he was there, did that mean…?
“I came to get you.” He leaned forward. “I told you to stay put. I came back and found you gone. I don’t like that, Emma, not one bit.”
I glanced towards the patio door. What if Ben came out? I didn’t want him to know about Carter.
He sighed from irritation. “Are you worried about your boyfriend?”
“Ben?” I was stunned. He thought, but no—Carter was here. He was sitting across from me. I couldn’t wrap my mind around that. “How did you get here?”
Determination gleamed from his eyes, but there was more. A darker intent was in there, one that made my heart beat even faster.
“You came to me for help, then you left. What did you want, Emma?”
“What
did I want? I wanted you to help me.”
“Why’d you think I left?” he remarked. “So I could help you.”
Oh.
I fell back in my chair. Of course he had left to help me. I was an idiot. “But when I woke up, you weren’t there. I…” How long was I supposed to have waited? My heart skipped a beat. What if he set me up? I was in the perfect place, left alone until he led Franco Dunvan to the front door.
“You what?” he snapped. “Let’s go. You’re coming with me.”
“No!” I shoved back my chair and surged to my feet. I couldn’t leave. Mallory—Ben—Mallory. “I can’t leave, Carter. I have people depending on me.”
He was around the table in a flash. His hands grasped my elbows, and he pulled me against him. He was tense. His body was hard, but I couldn’t stop the soft intake of breath as I touched all of him and the same yearning from before started inside of me. I wanted to press back against him, get even closer, but I shook my head. I needed to clear those thoughts.
He bent down to me. “You think he’s going to help you? You came to me, Emma. Not him.” His breath caressed against my skin.
I closed my eyes. I was already softening against him.
His hands tightened and pulled me closer to him. Every inch of him was pressed against me. I felt him between my legs. He