by Tijan
“You can invite her anywhere you’d like.” He gazed at me, a soft longing in his eyes.
My heart constricted. “What’s wrong, Carter?”
He only gave me a sad smile. “I’m glad you have a good friend. This life with me is solitary. I worry about you when I’m gone.”
“You don’t ever need to worry about me.”
He gripped my arms. “I do. And I will always worry, but it’s because I love you. I will never control you, Emma. You can make your own decisions and go where you want and I will never say otherwise. But I need you to know that if I worry about you, it’s because I love you. I want you safe. I will always want you safe, no matter who you are with or what you’re doing.”
The intensity on his face had me gasping again. No one had looked at me like that since AJ, since he told me to go as he faced down Tomino in that alley. That had been the last time I felt someone’s love for me as much as I did from Carter now. He had said the words and I knew he meant them, but I felt them this time. I had no words. I had no way to express what I was feeling so I leaned into him and captured his lips with mine. It wasn’t long until both of us were groaning again. I was home. I was where I was supposed to be.
The next month went by and I was happy. Carter tried to limit his travels to one day a week and when he couldn’t, I knew he hurried so he could get back to me. Work passed uneventfully. I was still enjoying my new job and the parameters I was given, but Theresa remained withdrawn when we worked together. That was a damper on my good moods. After work, I began going to the cafe more and more. Amanda started to wait for me in our booth. She knew when my job ended and had a coffee pot waiting for us. We never discussed Ben and Mallory again. I shared with her little things about Carter, about a new restaurant he took me to or how he said we could go to Octave at any time, and she would tell me stories about her co-workers.
The last Friday of the month, I slid into my side of the booth and noticed she was different. Her head was down and she was wringing her hands together. Her shoulders were slouched down.
“What happened?”
Her head snapped up with horror. “I have a date.”
I grinned. “You look ready to pee yourself. How is that a bad thing?”
Her hands kept twisting around each other and she let out a deep breath. “How did this happen? I keep asking myself that and I have no idea how it happened. I really don’t. He was there. He was hot. He was asking for a bagel. I was giving one to him and then his hands touched mine.” Her chest rose for another dramatic breath. “Then he kept coming in. I’m nuts. I know I’m nuts. My best friend is dating a mob hitman, okay-my only friend is dating a mob hitman. What am I doing? I can’t go on a date. I have to call and cancel.”
She dove inside her purse, fumbling for her phone, but I snatched it away. “What are you talking about? You can’t date because of me? You can’t think that, do you?”
She froze.
I saw she did. I flung her purse back on the table, but grabbed her phone before she could. Then I pointed at her, her phone in hand, with each word. “You can date whoever you want. You can’t not date because of me. You got it?”
She swallowed. “He’s a cop.”
Oh.
I fell back in the booth. Her phone fell out of my hand. I hadn’t considered that scenario, but then I really started to think about it. I never told her anything specific. The only things I said about Carter were the good things, how he made me feel and normal dating stuff. I didn’t even know anything about his business connections. He said he was out, but he had killed in the past. And I knew about some of those, but I would never tell a soul. So I looked back up. “Date him.”
“Huh?” Her mouth fell open.
“Date him.” I shrugged. “Why not? You don’t even know Carter. You don’t really know anything about him. Why couldn’t you date this guy then?”
She continued to gape at me before she pretended to bang her head on the table, groaning. “You were supposed to agree with me. I can’t date this guy.”
“Why not?”
“Because!”
I grinned. This was the old Amanda and I said what I would’ve said then, “Just wait till Mals and Ben hear about this. You’ll hear all about-” I stopped. I couldn’t believe I had said that. I’d forgotten. I sat back, feeling the blood drain from my face. “Oh man.”
She shot forward and slapped a hand on the table. “Look at me.”
I’d forgotten about them.
She slammed it down again. “Look at me, Emma!”
I jerked my gaze up, my heart still pounding. Mallory.
She hissed at me, “So what?! Huh? So what. I know what just happened and it’s okay. It’s okay. Okay, Ems? Okay?! I know you’re thinking that you forgot about Mallory and how could you, blah blah blah? Am I right?”
I couldn’t think. My eyes were fastened to hers, but I couldn’t deny the guilt in me.
“You’re wrong. You’re wrong! What happened was a horrible, horrible thing and you saved your friend. You did. You saved her, but when you did what you did, the game changed. Your man knew that. He knew right away that there’d be a time when it would come to you or her. Ben did a bastard move, but he did it to save Mals, and you forgetting about them just this second means that you’re moving forward. Okay? That’s all it means. You’re moving on. We’re all moving on. Wherever they are, they’re moving forward too. You don’t need to feel guilty about leaving her and I know you do. Be happy with that hot piece of ass and feel okay being happy with him.”
I murmured, “How do you know all that to say to me?” Was it really that simple?
“Because I love you. You’re my friend and I’m grateful that I still have your friendship.” Her chin locked in place and she crossed her arms. “I’m pissed that Ben went to them, but I’ve realized that it had to happen. Your man was right, that’s why he took you away from us. If you had stayed with us, you were a sitting duck. They would’ve found Mallory and Ben would’ve told them what you did to save her.” She shrugged. “It had to happen. Your life or hers. Your man saved you and Ben did what he had to.”
Some of my old humor sparked in me and I grinned. “Did you really just refer to Ben as a man?”
Amanda smacked her hand to her forehead and moaned. “He’d been so pathetic over her for so long. Always panting after her, being one of those guys. He was such a creeper.”
I chuckled. “He would call the apartment when she was on dates. He always wanted me to tell him when she got home. I never did, but one time he even sent me a pizza. It was like he was trying to bribe me for information on her.”
“Mallory was so stupid.” She amended, “She was nice, but she was stupid. How could he not give her the creeps? He was her very own stalker that she treated like a friend.”
I snorted, “Or like a brother at times. There were times when he’d come over and she’d hide in the bathroom. We even had it rigged where we could slip through the window. Ben never believed me when I told him she wasn’t home. He demanded to search the apartment to see it for his own eyes.”
“He was a little crazy about her.”
“A little?” My eyebrow rose. “Try a lot, but she always said he was nice deep down. Guess she was right in some ways? He was there for her in the end.”
“Yeah, I guess. He was like the pervy cousin that was always around.”
I grinned. He was. Then my smile waned. “Why are we talking about them like they’re dead?”
“Because they are.”
My eyes shot to hers.
She shrugged, glancing away and sighing at the same time. “At least to me, they are. They’re gone. They left us behind. At least when you left, you were still working. We still texted. But they’re completely gone. No word. No call. No nothing. So to me, that’s how I think of it. They’re dead to me.”
“That’s perverse.”
“Helps me from getting hurt by them. I locked ‘em out. Maybe you should do that to
o.”
“Yeah, maybe.” I bit my lip as I looked away. “Mallory never texted me.”
“Because stupid Ben destroyed her phone one night. He thought they could find her from its gps. You didn’t hear him at the end, before he got all happy. He was sounding crazy. He thought there were men watching them. He thought someone was listening in on the landline and they could get into his computers. He was scared to leave the apartment. I mean, really, he took a butcher knife with him when we ordered pizza. I’m surprised the kid didn’t drop a deuce on his doorstep.”
I looked down. I couldn’t stop myself. There were men watching them. Carter had sent them. I didn’t know about the rest, but Ben wasn’t as crazy as she thought. As I slid out of the booth, I mustered up a smile. “On that sanitary note, I think I’m going to head home.”
“Tomorrow?”
I stopped, caught by the earnest hope on her face, and nodded. “Yeah. You know, let’s do something fun. Maybe a night at Octave?”
Her eyes lit up. “Serious?”
“Serious. We’ll have our own box too.”
“Is your man going to be there?”
I shrugged. “I have no idea. He tries to come if he’s not busy.”
“So you’re saying it could be just the two of us, in our own private box?”
“Is that a problem?”
“Nope. Just means I can get wasted and not worry about looking like a fool.”
When his phone rang, Carter inwardly sighed. It wasn’t the ring he wanted to hear. He picked up his phone, “Gene?”
“You have a problem.”
He didn’t blink or react. It was how he assumed the conversation would start. “With what?”
“Our cops called. All of them said the same thing, your woman’s roommate was found an hour ago.”
He held back his grimace. He already knew it wasn’t good news. “She’s dead.”
“Yep, beaten and strangled. Cops think the boyfriend did it, that one you said would be a problem.”
“They know why?” Emma would want to know. She’d want to understand and then she’d blame herself.
“A butcher knife was taken to her stomach. They think she was pregnant and the prick didn’t like who the father was.”
Dunvan.
Carter sighed. “Okay. Thanks for letting me know.”
“The boyfriend’s still missing. Cops are canvassing the neighborhood for him, but right now they only think he was a crackhead. You know what’ll happen if he’s taken into custody.”
“Crackhead?” But Carter knew that’s what Franco had done. Get them hooked and they belong to you forever.
“Yeah,” the older man sounded wary. “They were using an abandoned apartment in a warehouse. It looked like a usual crackhead’s place. You know what’s all there.”
Carter nodded to himself. “Find the boyfriend before the cops do.”
“What are you going to say to your woman?”
He never hesitated. “I’m going to tell her that her roommate died from a miscarriage and bled out.”
“That’s it?”
“She doesn’t need to know the rest. She’ll know the friend she tried to protect is dead anyway.”
“Listen to you. You’re going soft on us, Carter. Pretty soon you’re going to be having emotions and shit like that.”
“What would you feel, Gene? If the situation were reversed and it was your woman?” he asked, suddenly exhausted. He was stalling. He knew it and he asked the question anyway.
The other man laughed into the phone. “Fuck. I don’t got no feelings, not after this long in the business. I’m surprised you do.”
Did he? An image of Emma’s heart-shaped face appeared in his mind and anger rushed to him. The damn boyfriend. The prick could hurt her. After all he’d done to keep her from harm, and now this. He murmured into his phone, “I’ve got enough feeling to know what I’d like to do to that boyfriend of her roommate’s.”
“I hear you. I’ll be missing you around these parts.”
“I won’t.”
Gene chuckled, low and gravelly, “Bye friend.”
Carter’s goodbye was a command, “Find the boyfriend.” When he hung up, there was no regret or doubt. Carter punched in the number for her driver and told him to bring her home as soon as possible. When that call was done, he stood and left his office. He knew he would pretty-up the conversation as much as he could, but for the first time in a long time, he was scared. He wasn’t used to being scared of anything, but that’s all he’d been with Emma since she came back into his life. Terrified.
Mike waited beside the car next to the curb. I took two steps when I heard my name being called. Theresa was outside the hotel with her hand in the air. When she saw that I was waiting, she hurried over. “Hi! I bet you’re shocked to see me like this.”
To say the least.
My tone was cool, but I was curious. “What’s up, Theresa?”
She nodded with her cheeks puffed out. “Okay. Here I go.” A deep breath. “I’ve been a bitch. I know I have. I’m really sorry. I have no excuses. I really don’t, but the idea of what he did and the whole story about what you did really had me confused.”
“It wasn’t a story.”
“I know it wasn’t. Trust me, Noah’s hounded me for days when he found out that I’ve been less than friendly to you.”
I narrowed my eyes. “You’re doing this because of Noah?”
“No, no! I don’t do anything because of Noah. Life would probably be easier if I did, but I’m too stubborn and thick-headed. I’m doing this because it’s taken this long for me to realize that I was wrong. If you did what you did, why you said, then you don’t deserve going to jail and I understand why you couldn’t come forward. I wouldn’t have the courage to stay here and try to have a normal life after that. I get it. I do. I really do.” She grimaced. “And now I’m babbling. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for not being a friend. There’s no excuse. I should’ve said this stuff to you a long time ago, not wait until a month later because I was embarrassed.”
“You were embarrassed?”
“Yeah,” she let out in big breath. “Big time. I’m an idiot and I know we weren’t great friends, but I felt like we were going to be. Do you think I could have a do-over?”
Suspicion clouded over me and I couldn’t help to wonder if she had struck a deal with the cops? Was she a plant now, trying to get information on me or Carter? “I won’t talk about Carter.”
“No, no. That’s fine. I understand.”
“At all. I won’t talk about what we said I did.”
“I know. I really do understand.” She grimaced again, looking up and down the street.
Mike had closed the door to the car long ago, but he stepped away from it now. His presence was enough of a reminder not to mess with me.
Theresa grinned at him and waved. “Heya, Mr. Bodyguard-Whose-Name-I-Never-Learned. I’m not going to hurt her again.” She turned to me, a small plead in her eyes. “I’m really not. I know I did when I turned my back on you. I won’t do that again. I was lucky enough to find a genuine friend. I’m not going to screw it up.” She chuckled, “You’re one of the only friends that I could hang out with Noah too. I was surprised when he told me that he and Carter still work out together.”
“Me too,” I admitted.
“So am I pressing my luck by asking if you’ll give me another chance?”
I wasn’t going to trust her, but it wouldn’t hurt to have a friend to talk with at work or the potential night at Octave. And at that thought, I suggested, “I’m heading to Octave tonight with a friend. Do you want to come?”
Her eyes got big. “Really?”
I nodded. “Why not? As long as you don’t judge my friend when she gets wasted.”
“Have you not seen me when we’ve gone out?” She laughed. “I tend to drink more than I should. Noah’s always on me about it, but I like to blow off steam.”
“Okay. Yeah, we’ll
see you there. I’ll text you later what time we’re heading.”