by Tijan
gun. Where’d he get the gun?”
I shook my head. “It might be the one I used on Dunvan.”
“Nope,” Carter negated that. “My men took care of that one. This was his. He came here with a gun of his own, Emma. Put it all together. What are you getting?”
I shrugged. I was so tired, so damn tired of it all. I felt myself growing numb again and shutting down. He murdered Mallory. The son of a bitch killed my friend and took away her baby. We could’ve, at least, had the baby. I wouldn’t have cared if it was from Dunvan. It would’ve been half Mallory. She was a good person. The child would’ve been a good person too.
I wiped a tear away and sat on the other couch.
Carter sighed. His tone softened, “I’m sorry if I’m hurting you, but I’m helping you too right now. I’m trying to get you ready because he’s going to wake up soon. Right now you’re thinking that he didn’t know what he did and he’s going to use that on you. He’s going to beg and plead. He’s going to cry. He’s going to use every trick he can think, but that’s not the truth. None of it is. He knew what he was doing, Emma. He killed her and he bragged about it. You heard him. ‘We saw his handiwork?’ He wasn’t here to kill Amanda. He could’ve done that right away. He was waiting for you. He knew what he was doing. Look past his surface and get a feel for him inside. What do you feel? Use all of it. Add it all up in your mind.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t. He was pushing me too hard. “Why are you doing this to me?” I started to turn away.
He caught my arm and pulled me back. “Because you need to know everything and have all the facts in your head. I won’t let you walk out of this apartment with regrets. Those will eat you up inside and I love you too much to watch you go through that. You’re going to make a decision on what to do with him and you’re going to own it. You have to know everything first.”
I shook my head. I didn’t want to do this.
He pulled me over to Ben’s things. His voice was hard now, cold again. “Look at his shit. He broke in. He tied up the owner of the place. He has drugs. He has a gun. He has a knife. He has a phone. He’s wearing good clothes. He’s got keys to go somewhere. A person has an agenda when they go somewhere. They have a reason for everything they do. He’s not looking for an immediate score. His last phone call was to Franco’s guy. He was waiting for you. What was he doing? When he wakes up, it’ll still be his goal. When you figure out the agenda, you figure out the person.”
It was too much. Too many things were being stirred inside of me.
Carter broke. He said in a soft voice, “He already sold you out once and he was awarded for it. What do you think he was here to do? Again?”
My eyes got big and my heart paused. He was going to do it again. Carter was laying the groundwork. He wanted me to figure it out for myself. He was right, Ben would’ve convinced me. He would’ve cried and begged. I would’ve felt bad for him. Hell, Amanda and I always felt bad for him. We made fun of him, but we thought he was pathetic for how much he loved Mallory and pined for her.
Carter was right. I would’ve bought it.
“He’s setting up long-term. He was here to grab you for Franco, or kill you himself.” Carter went over and kicked at his feet. “My guess is that he was going to grab you, then call Franco and ask what he wanted him to do. He probably doesn’t know that Franco’s dead, no one does unless they’re in the family.”
“What would’ve Franco said?”
He shrugged as he kicked his feet again. “Franco would’ve had him bring you in, then he would’ve killed the guy. Your friend would’ve thought he was being so smart, that he had all it all figured out. He was going to get a big reward this time, bigger than just telling him who the trigger had been.”
“It sounds so easy to him, killing me like that.” I shuddered. My voice trembled, “Did he kill her that easy too?”
Carter had bent down and was untying Ben’s shoes when he stopped and looked up. He stared at me for a minute before he replied, “This guy sounds like a normal controlling and abusive asshole. He probably had a lot of fury built up over the years. He watched her with other guys?”
I nodded.
“Okay.” He nodded to himself, like he had come to a decision. “You’re not going to like hearing this, but this is what I think happened. The guy wanted your friend and he finally got her. And he got her all to himself. I’m sure he put on a whole show, how he didn’t want you to go, but then, in truth, he liked that you were gone. He had her to himself. But once he did, I don’t think it went how he thought it was going to be. Life spent in hiding ages a person. It was wearing on him. Franco got him hooked on drugs so he was getting high, he had a bunch of cash, and your friend started looking different to him. He started thinking about what he could do on his own. He started feeling more and more trapped by her. If it hadn’t been for her, he could be living life grand. He knew I was with you. Someone told him at one point so he was hiding from me too. He blamed that on her too, since you were her roommate.”
With each word, I felt more and more sick. My stomach had climbed into my throat by his last words. “Why are you telling me all this?”
“Because I’m painting you a picture so you understand that when he got high, he got angry, they probably got into a fight, and he killed her. He probably didn’t even care that much anymore. She was a burden to him by then.”
“How do you know this?”
“Because this is what I do. I figure people out. I figure out their agendas. And your buddy here, he’s not some mastermind. He only thinks he was.” He had Ben’s shoes off and ripped off his shirt next. His pants were last before he stood up. “Are you ready?”
“Why did you undress him?”
Carter flashed me a hard grin. “You don’t want to know that answer. Alright, here we go.” He started shaking Ben again, kicking more at his feet. At first there was no response, but after a few more vigorous slaps on the face, he started to wake up. He sputtered and threw himself backwards. When he came up against the couch, he scrambled to his feet.
Carter pushed him back to the floor. “You stay there. Okay?”
Trembling, Ben nodded. His face looked drained of all his blood. And then he turned to me. His eyes widened, remorse filled them, and his lip started to quiver.
I looked away, sickened to the point where I was revolted now. Carter was right.
“Emm-Emmm-Emma,” he stuttered out. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my fucking god. I-what did I do? Mallory,” he choked on her name. “What did I do to her? What did I do, baby? What did I do to you? Oh my god.”
I couldn’t hear it. I didn’t want to. Without thinking, still hearing Amanda’s shout in my head, I picked up his gun and swiftly turned in the same movement. I shot him. The sound went off, but I never heard it. His body slumped back down and his mouth stopped moving.
He was dead.
I had avenged Mallory.
Then I turned and left. I never looked back.
I left Carter in that apartment. There was a car downstairs waiting for me and I was driven to the safe house. Amanda and Theresa were at the dining room table, a huge glass of wine in front of both of them. When they saw I was alone, each gave me tired smiles. I showered before I joined them, but when I did there was a huge glass waiting for me. I needed it.
We sat together the rest of the night. None of us wanted to go to sleep.
They never asked what happened. They knew.
Noah arrived when it was nearing six in the morning. He looked exhausted as well. I wasn’t sure why, but I didn’t want to know. Theresa tipped her head back, as if waiting for a kiss, but he knelt and folded her body against his. He stood and both disappeared down the hallway.
Amanda lifted her eyebrows.
I yawned, “My boss. They’re complicated.”
We didn’t speak another word, and Carter was the next to come in. He didn’t pick me up as Noah had, but he took my hand and led me
to our room.
I looked over my shoulder, but Amanda had her head down. She was resting it on the table. I knew she didn’t want to sleep or she would’ve asked for a bed.
After we showered, Carter lifted me and took me to the bed. He put us both under the covers and we lay together. When I started to reach for a shirt, he shook his head. He wanted only our skin against each other.
We never talked about what I did, between any of us.
Amanda didn’t want to go back to her apartment, so she stayed at the safe house. She lived there, and this time it was my turn to pack up her belongings. I had all of it put into storage. She only asked for a few things, mainly clothes and her computer.
Since Amanda stayed at the safe house, so did Theresa. I didn’t understand why, but she told me that Amanda reminded her of her mother. A bond formed between the two and after three months at the safe house, Theresa took her in. There was no question, no discussion. We were all having dinner one night, Noah and Carter as well, and Theresa put down her fork, tilted her head to the side, and told Amanda she was moving in with her.
The next day, the little belongings Amanda had were packed up and both of them left.
I wasn’t sure who was more relieved, Noah or Carter. Since both of my friends were at the safe house, I wanted to stay there as well so Carter stayed with me. Noah was the only one who didn’t stay all the time, but he was around more often than not. Amanda asked me one night if it was weird that I was almost living with my boss, but I shrugged. Nothing seemed weird anymore.
There was no name on Mallory’s headstone. She had no family.
Ben was listed as her emergency contact so she was never identified officially. I was taken to the morgue after hours one time and saw that it really was her. I knew it was, but Carter wanted me to make sure. Amanda hadn’t wanted to come.
We never talked about Mallory, not at first. After Amanda moved in with Theresa, it was another three months before her name was brought up. We started a new tradition for the three of us. We spent every Friday night at their apartment. It was spent talking, laughing, and drinking wine. Lots and lots of wine. A pizza was usually ordered as well. The nights were meant for only light conversations, but that night Amanda asked if we could have our own memorial for Mallory and the baby.
She started crying after that.
By the end of the night, all three of us had each used a box of Kleenex. I was a mess when I slipped into bed with Carter that night, but I relayed what Amanda had asked and explained that the rest of the night was spent sharing Mallory stories. We even talked about how pathetic we thought Ben was. Carter shook his head, kissed my forehead, and pulled me over him. He liked to sleep with me on top of him. He ran his hand up and down my back. It was only later that I realized that he didn’t sleep. He held me. Carter didn’t need much sleep. The first time I noticed, I woke to him pacing in the room. He was a caged tiger.
When I felt tension in his body, I slept naked and on top of him. It soothed him for some reason.
Over the next couple months, the three of us formed a tight bond. Besides the Friday Wine Nights, there were many others spent at Octave. Noah came some of those times, though he was annoyed most of the time. Brianna continued to work at the nightclub, and she still didn’t approve of a romantic relationship between Noah and Theresa. That pissed Theresa off.
I asked Amanda one time about the cop she was going to date, and she looked at me like my head exploded. “Are you kidding me? After what we did?”
I never pointed out that she technically didn’t do anything, but a part of me was glad she considered herself part of it. It made the guilt fade a little. Killing Ben never made me lose sleep, but I still had nightmares about Mallory. No matter what Carter tried to get me to think, I would never be rid of that guilt. It had been my job to protect her. I had failed. I had avenged her, but I had failed her. I had failed her child as well.
However, I was learning to live with that guilt.
It was the only point of contention between Carter and me.
Theresa and Amanda had each other. Theresa sort of had Noah, but Carter and I had become a team together. We grew so close that we didn’t need to speak half of the time. We knew what each other thought.
This night was one of those nights.
We were at Octave, in Carter’s private office with his patio dance floor. Amanda and Theresa were dancing together while Noah was discussing our latest business venture from The Richmond. I stopped listening to him and glanced over at the door. He was there. The hunger started again. I had grown used to that as well.
Noah stopped talking and grinned. “I know that look.”
His eyes found mine immediately, a slow smile growing as he closed the distance between us. They darkened, full of promises, as he murmured, “Hey there.”
“Hi.”
He grinned and took my elbow. He moved so that he was leaning against the counter. My back was against his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. He tucked me close, between his legs. Then he turned to Noah. “Are we sparring tomorrow again?”
Noah shook his head. “You two.”
Carter laughed, his voice low smooth against my ear. “I believe your other half is just on the other side of those doors if you choose.”
He groaned, “Don’t get her started. Brianna’s on tonight. I don’t need another lecture.”
“It’s like that?”
“It’s like that.” Noah looked to the dance floor. His tone lowered, “I’m going to need a full hour in the gym tomorrow, if you’re game.”
“I’m game.” Carter pressed a kiss to the back of my neck. “But it might be worth taking what you want before someone else does.”
“Not you too. That’s all Theresa harps on me now. ‘I got asked out for a date today.’ ‘I’m going to dinner with so and so.’ Oh, and then my favorite, ‘One day I’m going to get sick of waiting, and you’ll regret that day ever happened, Noah John Tomlinson.’“ He pretended to hit himself in the forehead. “Believe me, I am aware my chances are dwindling each day.”
I turned, unable to help myself. “So why don’t you? She loves you.”
My boss went still at my words. Then he choked out, “She does?”
I snorted in disgust. “She wouldn’t be waiting for you if she didn’t. Forget your sister, Noah. You get that love once in a lifetime, if you’re lucky.”
He didn’t wait another second. He put his glass down and went on the dance floor. Amanda danced by herself for the rest of the night.
Carter tightened his arms around me and kissed the back of my ear. He caught my lobe in his teeth, sweeping his tongue against it, as he murmured, “Once in a lifetime, huh?”
I turned around and wound my arms around his shoulders, then grinned as my lips found his.
It wasn’t long before Carter said our goodbyes for us and took me home. Our departure was barely noticed. They all knew it was never long before the two of us left. As he carried me to our bed, I couldn’t help to think about our own family. We found each other after so many years apart and came together, as he slipped inside of me, as one. Our hips moved together in perfect rhythm. I gasped, falling back onto the pillow, as he moved over me. My hands skimmed up his arms and he looked up, his eyes falling into mine.
There. Right there.
He was all I needed and I was all he needed. This entire experience had changed me, hardened me. I had killed two men. And as Carter continued to thrust inside of me, I knew I would do it again if anyone tried to take him away from me.
It was early the next morning when Carter woke me up. He nudged me in the side. “I want you to get up with me.”
“No.” And I rolled over.
After a soft chuckle, he said again, “Come on. I want you to go to the gym with me.”
“No.”
My pillow felt wonderful. Too wonderful to get sweaty and whatever else he had in mind. I wasn’t moving and hugged my pillow tighter.
There was
no warning.
Carter flipped me over. He hooked a hand around my leg and slid his other under my arm. I was lifted in the air like a rag doll. With a gasp, I clung to him to keep from falling and was carried into the walk-in closet. He deposited me on the bench as my shirt was taken off in record time. Workout clothes were tossed to me before he went to get his clothes.
“What is this?”
He flashed me a grin. “You’re going to train with me and Noah.”
I snorted and threw the clothes back to him. “No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.” His grin turned wicked. “I think it’d be good for you to learn some moves, just in case.”
“I have how many bodyguards?”
The grin faltered. “Guards can die. You should still learn how to defend yourself.”
“Oh.” There went that argument. “Noah is my boss and an MMA