“Give it up, little rat. Jamie can see everything. The laplanding’s complete.” Foss crossed his beefy arms over his chest in his finite way.
My nose scrunched. “You know, I have no idea what that means, but I hate that you call me a rat. It’s mean.”
Jens buried his face in his hands. “I was going to explain it to you, but you stormed out when we got in that fight earlier today.”
“How could you not tell her what’s happening to her?” Charles was irate, his black brows furrowed as he glared at Jens. “This whole time, what must she have been thinking? No wonder she tried to knock herself out. She probably thought she was going mad!”
Jamie shook his head. “Guys, give us some space. I’d like a moment alone to talk to Lucy.” When no one thought much of this idea, he shouted, “Now!”
For such a meek guy, I’d never seen a room clear out faster than when he ordered it so.
“Nicely done,” I commended him. Just the two of us in the small house was more of a soothing balm than everyone crowding around and demanding answers.
“May I?” Jamie sat down at the foot of the bed I was propped up on and crossed one leg over the other, his hands folded atop his knee. “Lucy, there’s something we need to talk about.”
I had instant flashbacks of my parents gearing up to recap Uncle Rick’s account of his rendition of the birds and the bees. I bit back a smile and prayed this would be a less horrendous experience.
“I’m very proud of the way you handled yourself with that Were. Jens told me about your bent against killing, so I can only imagine how hard that must’ve been for you.”
“Thanks.” I pulled the covers up over my chest, feeling a little exposed in the formal gown.
“You saved my life by picking up my weapon, and for that I’m forever in your debt.”
My eyes were wide at his little speech. “Well, for what it’s worth, you did most of the work.”
He held up his finger. “About that. When I helped you drive in the machete the final time, we ended up killing the Were together. Something special happens when two people do that. They become laplanded.” He took a breath and waited for my reaction.
“Um, cool?” I shrugged. “I got no clue what that means.”
Jamie managed a wan smile. “It means that you and I are bonded for life. When two people become laplanded, it’s painful to be apart, hence the headaches and the voices.”
Goose bumps broke out on my arms and the air suddenly felt hard to suck down.
He tapped his temple. “When we’re together, there’re no headaches.”
“I don’t hear any voices,” I lied, afraid to admit my insanity.
Jamie reached out and patted my hand. “I know how overwhelming this all must be for you. You know, Jens tells me your parents were laplanded. It’s one of the reasons their marriage was so strong.”
“Huh? My mom doesn’t believe in killing. She was a vegetarian.”
“What’s a vegetarian?”
It was my turn to look at him like he came from another planet. “Someone who doesn’t eat meat because they’re morally opposed to the killing of animals.”
Jamie was amused, as if I’d just said the most ridiculous thing to him. “Well, that’s nice. No wonder you feel so strongly against violence.”
I nodded, hugging my knees to my chest and pulling my skirts down over my toes under the blanket. What a waste of an awesome dress. “So we’re tethered together? For how long?”
He swallowed, and his response came out almost inaudible. “For life.”
My stomach churned. “What? No, no. No, no, no, no, no.”
Jamie tried to hold my hand, but I gripped myself harder, sitting in a ball on the bed. “I know it’s not ideal. If we’re near each other, it’s like nothing’s changed at all. No headaches. And over time, I’ve heard the headaches from being apart get less and less. The tether gives you more slack as you learn to use it. Eventually we might be able to get a whole mile of space if we work on it.”
“A mile? That’s it? But I… I…” Flashes of my parents always getting jobs where they could work together hit me with their odd coincidence. I’d thought it was romantic how they couldn’t bear to be apart. Waitress, cook. Receptionist, accountant. “How do we undo it?”
He shook his head, finally letting his defeat show. He didn’t like this any more than I did. “It can’t be undone. It’s nature’s response to us killing together. Now we’ll always be together. There was a soul in that Were, so we killed someone together, not just a random bear.”
Maybe one day I’d find comfort in all of this, but today it felt like a portable prison. “I… I need some air.”
Before he could stop me, I was halfway to the door. I opened it to the early hours of the night and bolted forward in the red glow of the giant moon. I had no idea where I was going, but it didn’t matter. I had to escape. I ignored the shouts of Jens and Charles as I ran, my dress impeding my quick escape.
Dread coursed through my veins when my head started to pound. I tried to muscle my way through the pain and keep going, but the tether snapped me like a rubber band. The pressure was so great out of nowhere that I fell to the ground on all fours, unable to open my eyes. I clawed at the grass, inching my way further from Jamie.
Ah! My head! Stop, Lucy! Stop!
I felt Jens pick me up and run me toward Jamie, who was also on the floor. Guilt nudged me when I realized that I’d done it to him. Jamie. I barely knew the guy, and now we’d never be rid of each other.
Jens brought me back inside the hut and flopped on the bed, pulling me to sit next to him. His arm wrapped around me in a hug that was meant to comfort him, not me. He let out a desperate noise of frustrated defeat into my hair. “I hoped it wasn’t true. With everything in me, I wished it. Tried to grab onto any other possible explanation. No, Lucy!”
I held him, offering what comfort I could in my utterly flummoxed state. I was still trying to wrap my mind around what Jens had days to process. I shushed him, wrapping my arms around his neck and leaning my head on his shoulder.
“I waited so long for you to see me! I’ve been invisible in your life for five years! I finally get to be with you, and now you’re linked to my best friend?” He shouted into my hair again and gripped me tight, his grief washing over me like a flood. “And the worst part is that I can’t leave you! I have to watch while you and Jamie build a life together!”
Jamie picked himself up off the floor where the headache had knocked him, and knelt next to us at the side of the bed, hands clasped in supplication to his forehead. “I would never do anything to take her from you, Jens. I would never betray you like that. You’re a brother to me, more so than my blood.”
I could feel Jens’s heart pounding as he gripped me. His hand cupped the back of my head, fingers digging into my scalp as he shook with anger at the lot we’d been dealt. He spoke to Jamie through gritted teeth. “Have you ever known a man and a woman who were laplanded that did not marry and have children together?”
“Stop it!” I yelled. “Don’t talk like that! I’m twenty years old, Jens! I don’t want my whole life planned out for me.”
“But don’t you see that it already is? How will you get married to some amazing guy and explain that Jamie comes with the package? And what about his betrothal? Do you really think Freya will be fine with a queen sleeping down the hall their whole lives?”
“The curse!” Jamie moaned. “What about the curse? It’s not safe to be near me in the night. You know what I could do to her in my sleep!”
I gulped. “We can sleep in separate rooms, can’t we?”
Jamie pressed his fists to his eyebrows in frustration. “I live alone because I’m a violent sleepwalker! I’m not safe to be around. My curse runs deep, Lucy!”
I shook my head, my heart reaching out beyond my own grief to his. I put my hand in Jamie’s curly brown hair, glad that he’d forsaken the use of his small gnome hat back in Tonttu. “You’ve nev
er attacked Britta or Jens.”
“Because I love them!” He buried his face in the mattress. “I do not love you, Lucy. I’m sorry. I barely know you.”
I took in Jamie on his knees and Jens in his besotted state at my side. Someone had to be the adult and pull us out of this mess rationally.
I counted to four, and when I spoke, my voice was devoid of the stress looming over the room. “It’s fine. We’ll figure this out.” I tried to push past all my fears and questions and lead us to some sort of middle ground between acceptance and despair. I kissed Jens on the cheek and found that it was wet. “Jens,” I cooed, stroking the short hairs at the nape of his neck. “It’s okay.”
“How can you say that? I’ve loved you for so long, Loos. You have no idea what it’s like to be so head over heels and have the person not even know you’re alive. Then I finally… and then this happens?” He looked at me as if it might be the last time his eyes got their fill of my face. “Now I have to watch my best friend live his life by your side? I have to guard your children? Watch while you fall in love?”
“Stop!” I shouted, hugging him tight, our hearts pounding against the other’s. “Stop talking like I have no choice in my own life. I’m not marrying anyone, so don’t go there in your mind. I don’t love Jamie. No offense,” I offered to the man on his knees who was tugging his hair in anguish. I pulled Jens’s tattooed cheek toward me so I could whisper what I never meant to say to him so soon. “I love you, you idiot!”
Jens pulled back, his lips parted in awe. “You, what?”
I pressed my forehead to his. “Don’t make me say it again. You know I do.”
Jens kissed me, his eyes shut as if his heart was so full, he was in physical pain. He kissed my cheeks as he spoke, and I was very aware of the revealing nature of my dress. “I’ve waited so long to hear you say that. To hear it like this?”
“You’re really surprised I think you’re an idiot?” I teased, trying to make this our moment. The two of us, not the three.
He let out a bitter laugh and buried his face in my neck. “I don’t like the idea of someone knowing you better than I do.”
Emotion was alive in me, despite my attempts at humor to push away the horror of the situation. It was a humbling thing to be loved by such a heroic man. To know he could have his pick of any number of adoring Tomten women, but chose me instead, warmed me to his affection all the more. But I’d murdered, and this was the price I would pay for the rest of my life. My heart panicked, but I remained on the bed next to him, determined not to run from him. From us. “Please don’t give up on me. Not now,” I whispered in desperation.
Jens nodded, my plea chasing away his fears for the time being. “Never.” He kissed my eager lips. “You’re right; we’ll figure this out.”
Seven.
Torsten the Mighty
Jens was too afraid for many reasons to leave me alone at night with Jamie, so I slept in my guardian gnome’s arms while a mattress was brought in for Jamie to sleep on the floor. It was not ideal, but really, we were on a vigilante mission spanning mythological countries. None of our travel arrangements would be ideal.
Sometime in the middle of the night, I heard the rhythm of Jamie’s heavy breathing stall. Then it picked up, taking on the cadence of an animal giving chase. My eyes opened, and I saw Jamie on all fours, growling and panting like a madman. I gasped at the drastic change, and the noise set him off. Jamie jumped to his feet and roared at me, lunging for my face as if he meant to tear it from my body.
“No!” I shouted. Before I could do anything else, Jens was awake and wrestling Jamie on the floor. I moved to the furthest corner of the bed and pulled my knees to my chest to avoid being swept into the rumble. Though Jamie was determined in his haze to attack me, Jens was ready for the task of taming his best friend. In no time at all, Jens had Jamie in a sleeper hold on the ground. He reached for his hand and did that pinch and stroke three times before Jamie went limp in his arms.
“Did he get you?” Jens asked, trying to catch his breath as he stood, cracking his neck.
“Jens, I don’t want to do this! Can you take me home? Can we be done with Undraland? Please?” I begged. Seeing the meek and kind Jamie try to tear my face off was too jarring to put in a neat little compartmentalized drawer.
Jens turned his back to me, and I could tell he was fiddling with the pouch at his neck. He inhaled something, and I watched his shoulders relax. “It’s okay, baby. Just lay back down. Come on.” He stepped over Jamie and pulled the covers out so I could get down inside them. He slid into the bed between Jamie and I. “He’ll be fine for the rest of the night. Jamie’s nothing to be scared of.”
Despite his attempts to pacify me, I was shaking like a leaf under the covers as he drew me into his arms. His long body was strong, and I tried to draw comfort from the bulk. “I don’t like this,” I told him in a whisper.
“I know.” He kissed my lips once and focused on rubbing reassurance into my back with his thumb. “I’m here. Go to sleep. I’ve always kept you safe.”
I clung to him, but it was at least another hour until either of us drifted off to sleep.
When the morning came, we all met in our hut, since it was the only one not being shared with a Nightdwarf family, but was reserved for guests of honor. Jamie could not look at me, and I couldn’t blame him. I’d overheard a lot of his lusty musings concerning Britta during the night through our psychic connection after his attack, and I could tell he knew. It would be a long journey of finding our stride.
I set about making Britta my new best friend, which really wasn’t much of a leap. We were dressed for the journey, my lovely gown packed away in Jens’ magical bag that could probably fit a rhinoceros inside if that’s what we wanted. Britta sat next to me on the bed, twisting my hair into several braids that were pinned up on my head so my long curls wouldn’t be a hindrance. As Uncle Rick explained the plan, I did the same to her hair, loving that we matched.
Oh, her hair’s so perfect when it’s out of those braids. Mm, Britta. I wish I could throw away her bonnet so she’d have no choice but to show me that beautiful hair. Jamie’s thoughts were sweet, and much more G-rated in the daytime. Freya has the teeth of a horse, and hair to match.
I coughed to cover my small laugh at Jamie’s thoughts.
Uncle Rick continued talking to the group. “We decided it would be best to let them think we’ve left their kingdom before striking down the portal. We’ll team up with the Toms and hide on the outskirts of their land until dark. Then Tor will take the rake and destroy the portal, leaving the rake with Jens to bring to the next destination. This time we all stay together.”
This seemed reasonable to everyone, so we packed our bags and said our goodbyes to King Dane and his queen. Tor, Foss, Jamie and I received special gifts from them, as well. I bowed to them as the queen placed a heavy necklace around my neck. “A token of our friendship to yer kind,” she explained.
Ah, they’re making allies with humankind with a necklace. I thanked them and looked down, unable to keep my eyes from bugging out. The gold necklace was encrusted with so many diamonds and opals, I could not count them all. And the size of the jewels? I felt like I might get mugged at any second. I itched to take it off, but knew that would be a slap in the face the Nightdwarves would never forgive.
Jamie and Foss each received a golden axe, and I couldn’t decide if they were decorative or actually useful. Tor was given a new double-sided axe he couldn’t take his eyes off of. The king and queen kissed both my cheeks, and then we parted ways. Uncle Rick was adamant that we be seen leaving in the opposite direction in which we were going to head that night. If they thought we were trekking back up the mountains we’d just come from, then when the Nøkken portal on the other side was destroyed, we would not be as suspect.
I walked with my arm looped through Jamie’s as we made our way through the small aboveground village. I know we had to show them that our people were a united front, but
I could feel Jens staring a hole through my back as I walked, and it made me jumpy. “Hey, Britta. How much do you think this necklace is worth?” I asked, bringing her to my other side. If I was going to be stuck with Jamie, then Britta was going to be stuck being my BFF, whether she felt like it or not. I wouldn’t have another person’s life be ruined by this whole laplanding mess. Britta deserved to be happy, and I wasn’t going to screw that up for her.
The more Britta and I chatted on our way, the more animated she became. She smiled and didn’t mind explaining things to me that everyone else already knew. Then it dawned on me: she didn’t see me as competition because she did not see herself as a worthy competitor for Jamie’s heart.
Pfft. When I got through with her, Jamie wouldn’t know what hit him. There would be no more talk of the two of us falling in love. They would have each other because she would always be around me.
Checkmate.
It was already working. Jamie and Britta guessed at how many houses in Tonttu the necklace would buy, and spun off into a whole conversation about different areas that were best for mining or whatever. I stopped paying attention.
I looked over my shoulder and winked at Jens, who smirked at my cunning. I could see his relief that there might actually be a way to make our burgeoning relationship work.
Job one, done. Job two was a bit more complicated. Getting to the opposite border we wanted to go to, disappearing, helping Tor destroy the portal with the rake while the dwarves were still nursing their hangovers, and going across Nightdwarf territory incognito. Piece of cake.
Uncle Rick and Tor were just ahead of me, and I picked up bits of their quiet conversation over Jamie’s veiled flirting with Britta.
Uncle Rick held tight to the mission as we waited out the sun. He didn’t want us to attack the portal only minutes after leaving the Warf. “And whatever you do, don’t go through to the Land of Be when you’re destroying the portal. You’ll forfeit your arm and your soul, and you’ll be of no use to anyone then.”
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