by Lewis, R. J.
“My apologies, brother,” he murmured. “I’ll mind my mouth.”
“Good. Now we need your help to locate this threat,” Hawke continued. “We’ve scoured the streets searching for it, and at this point, we need a fresh pair of eyes.”
Hector shrugged, still a bit shitty. “Why me?”
“You’re good,” Borden inserted. “Very fucking good from what I’ve heard. Plus your men are loyal to you, despite acting like fucking savages in my club.”
Hector ignored the dig. “What does their loyalty have anything to do with it?”
“It has everything to do with it. When a man has the loyalty of his crew, it usually means he’s generally good at what he’s doing. Am I right?”
The amusement on Hector’s face faded away. He nodded solemnly at Borden’s words, and I could see a hint of pride in him hearing it. Glancing at me again, he asked, “So what’s going on then? Hawke was vague about it. Said you were getting threatened or some shit, which seems fairly the norm for someone like you. You’re a fucking tyrant. I was under the impression nobody runs you down anymore as it is.”
“No, they don’t. I make sure of it.”
“So what is it then? I’m scratching at the walls, man. I need to know what it’s going to take for me to get to that fucking port. That’s what I’m here for, right? Let’s cut to the chase. Shit’s getting tight on my end, the cops are cracking down on my transport trucks, and I need this to happen. A-S-A-P.”
“I got a text threatening her life,” Borden explained, tilting his head in my direction. “The fucker had sent it outside her apartment building, and he purposely left behind his phone in the process.”
Hector crossed his arms, shooting Borden a look of confusion. “I mean, I could lie right now and tell you that’s bad just so I can get what I want. But your reputation is pretty fucking crazy, Borden, and it’s like that for a reason. I’m not sure you should be stressing over a text this much, man. What if it was a just a little shit trying to act tough and then getting spooked by what he’d done?”
“Either way, I want to know the person responsible. In the rare event that I’m not here and shit goes south, I need to ensure that you’ll be there to protect her.”
“To protect her,” Hector repeated, glancing at me. “Does this extend beyond this text message, in any sort of situation?”
“Yes.”
Letting his arms drop, Hector ran a hand through his hair and let out a sharp breath. “Man, I got a lot of people to look after as it is, Borden. A whole club worth of people, to be more precise. And I get you’re protective of the girl because she’s pretty fucking hot and all, and shit, I’d be just as angry if I had a piece of ass like that and someone was threatening to kill it, but I really don’t think I should be wasting resources finding some shit who might be a fucked up teenager looking for his next thrill.”
Threatening to kill it? Was I just an object to this dude? Wow, this guy really was the most sexist piece of shit I had ever met. I looked at Borden, part of me wanting to scoot over and plead for him to find somebody else to help with our situation, but I could see the determination on his face. He’d most likely just ignore me.
He clenched his jaw at Hector’s words and replied, “It’s not a fucked up teenager looking for his next thrill.”
“But how do you know this?” Hector asked.
Borden paused. There was something he wasn’t telling me. I fidgeted in my chair, waiting for him to continue while he debated internally about something. The longer he waited, the more unsettled I became. Then he finally responded, “I know this because I received a similar text hours after Kate was murdered.”
I froze, gaping at him. He wasn’t returning the look. He was all business, his eyes firmly planted on Hector. Meanwhile, Hawke was casual as can be, like this wasn’t news to him in the slightest. I was sure it wasn’t. He’d been in the loop while the I – the woman Borden had been screwing and sharing a bed with for the last two weeks – hadn’t.
I didn’t know how to feel about that.
“I thought you…took care of that,” Hector responded quietly, narrowing his eyes at him.
My heart was now thudding in my chest, and I could hardly breathe. This had gotten a lot darker than I’d ever anticipated. Even my body was shaking as reality began to dawn on me. The same people that had actually murdered someone close to him were now threatening to kill me. I wasn’t prepared for this. Not at all.
“I thought I did,” Borden murmured, his face darkening. “They were brothers. Middle-level gangbangers around the parts I’d just started buying into. They sent their muscle to me at first and wanted me to front them half the percentage of my earnings per month. I refused, like any sane fucking human being would. They kidnapped Kate as a result. It was their fucked up way of punishing me for supposedly ripping them off. I tracked them shortly after the murder, and I made them sing about it. I destroyed every part of that gang, until nobody was left standing in the end. But that text was sent by someone in the loop, someone I didn’t even know existed. I never told a single soul about that message, not until this one came through. Now does that sound like something a teenage little shit on a thrill would do?”
Hector frowned. “No.”
“Right. So, you want that port? This is what it’s going to take.”
The biker slowly nodded in return, reflecting on his words. “Alright, Borden. This is something we can negotiate.”
“No negotiating,” he retorted firmly. “You do this, and that fucking port is there for you to use whenever your savage little heart desires.”
Silence.
Hector took a moment to reflect. His eyes were on me throughout the long minute he was silently debating Borden’s conditions. There was a reluctance in him, like looking after me if shit went south was a bad thing. I couldn’t see why it would be. The sudden resentment in his eyes had me looking away. Appearing at ease, he’d seemed friendly. Looking resentful, he was pretty fucking scary.
“Fine,” I heard him say, his voice tight. “But we’re going to talk this through, and I don’t want her in the room while we do it. Women don’t belong in here, Borden. I wasn’t raised by a pop who condoned club bitches into our meetings, and regardless of what she means to you, I’m not willing to bend the rules about this.”
Club bitch? What dumbass female would want to call herself a club bitch with this fucking jerk around?
This time I didn’t glare at him, though. I actually agreed! I would have done anything to get out of there and rid my mind of the words that had just been exchanged. Of Borden pretty much admitting to killing the men that murdered Kate.
I made them sing. He’d said.
God, the chills that shot through me were unending. Every bone in my body stiffened. I was sitting in a room filled with murderers, and the man I was sharing a bed with was probably the worst of them all.
Breathe, breathe.
“I’m going to fucking let that ‘club bitch’ reference slide just this once. I’m not letting her out there with all your guys,” Borden said gravely. “She stays.”
“I can take care of myself,” I whispered to him, my eagerness bleeding out of me. “Graeme will be with me. I’ll be fine.”
Borden didn’t look at me – didn’t even acknowledge what I said – as he repeated, “She stays.”
Hector exhaled, shaking his head in defeat. “I’m only letting this slide because of what I get at the end of this, Borden. But if she stays, she’s on the list of people that knows what the rest of the world only speculates about the Warlords. You really wanna have her name there on that list?”
Borden suddenly leaned over the table, his face filled with that familiar rage I’d seen in him before.
Shit. Shit.
“Go on and threaten her life again, Hector,” he growled heatedly. “You’re in my house now, motherfucker. Open that mouth and tell me about the list you’re putting her on so I can jump over this desk and stick my knife in
your throat and watch you bleed out like a fucking animal. Do it. I fucking dare you.”
My heart climbed up my throat and my stomach dropped. Shaking, I stared at Hawke and Graeme, but they were standing steady behind Hector. Graeme was gripping the gun tighter, watching the biker’s moves carefully. Hawke remained indecipherable, the only part of him moving were his eyes; back and forth from Borden to Hector and back again. I wondered if it came down to the wire where his loyalty truly rested. Would he back Borden, or his brother?
I desperately hoped it wouldn’t come to that.
Hector leaned over, matching Borden’s stance. His face changed. Turned darker, harder. They both looked lethal.
Hector’s eyes flickered to mine very briefly, but I caught it just the same. Something lurked in those dark irises, something that suddenly made my chest constrict.
With a tight voice, he finally replied, “She stays.”
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding, and Graeme visibly relaxed. Borden nodded once and sat up straight again.
“Good,” he said, his voice clearing up, the rage slipping away. “Now let’s talk business.”
Whatever tension there was vanished in a blink of an eye… except the tension within me – that only worsened.
There, in front of me, they talked business, and it was there, I realized, I’d just been pulled into a separate world, one Borden had worked hard never to let me into.
I didn’t know what to think, and frankly, I was too frightened to.
*
They’d spoken for over an hour. About money, dates, the goings-on at the port, the cartel the MC kicked their drugs to, and every fucking illegal thing under the sun you can think of. I was in a state of shock, wanting to block out their words and drift away in thought. But I couldn’t do it. I listened to every single thing they spoke about, enough to know that that Borden did a number of shocking deals on the side. From loaning money to orchestrating connections for hits, the list went on.
He was also a launderer. I pieced it together myself only because Hector tried to bring him into the deals. Borden refused and said he had no interest in money. It hit me all of a sudden. He was laundering his own money, bleeding it into his businesses so it went unnoticed. It explained why he would come here and start buying everything up so quickly. The one thing that wasn’t brought up was how Borden made his initial money when he returned five years ago, and Hector either already knew or didn’t care to.
Secrets seemed to be well respected in the criminal world. There was no itch on either side to uncover them. Borden didn’t need to know why Hector needed the port. Didn’t care to ask what was going to be coming in. It was like the less he knew, the better.
Then it was about me and my protection. All Borden had to do was snap his fingers and the bikers would deliver me to their clubhouse under their strict protection. Borden made it clear that if I was touched in any way, or hurt by any of the “savages” that he would cut ties straight away. Hector agreed, though I could tell it was difficult for him to. Yeah, because it was so fucking hard to babysit me in their little fucking nasty ass clubhouse and leave me untouched, right? Never mind that I had no say in the matter, or that I’d get absolutely no enjoyment being there whatsoever.
I kind of did feel like a piece of property. I was an item in the biker’s eyes that would be moved around places when the time came, and Borden didn’t make it any better by going along with it. By the time all was said and done, Hector’s annoyances disappeared. He was visibly relaxed. He stood up from the chair and said, “Now that’s all sorted out, how about we fucking move on from this shit and have some fun?”
“Go on,” Borden told him, dismissively. “You can’t fuck up my club more than it already is. I’ll be here –”
“Fuck no,” Hector interrupted, shaking his head adamantly. “We just made a deal to end all deals. This is a time for celebration, and the men will want to see you for this. It’s history for our club. You have no idea the kind of pressure we’ve been under. You may be a mean fucker, but you know better than anyone else you have to nurture a good business relationship in order for it to work.”
Borden exhaled slowly, the exhaustion in his eyes showing. “Alright, then.”
Hector was satisfied, and it wasn’t until we were out the door, Borden’s hand gripping mine, that I realized why he’d been eager to keep me inside that office.
*
The club had been turned upside down. It was pandemonium at its finest. There were bikers everywhere. Drinking. Arguing. Laughing. Feeling up the dozens of half-naked women, some with their breasts hanging out, while talking casually to one another. Some of the women really enjoyed it, smiling at the attention, encouraging the intimacy. Others weren’t even mentally there, their eyes glazed, staring off into space while hands invaded every inch of their bodies.
I was nowhere near a prude. I’d seen this sort of thing from time to time growing up, and I treated it with a shrug on the shoulder. I was full blown desensitized. I’d never reacted, never really cared, because kids during my teenage years did all kinds of rambunctious over-the-top shit – myself included. So I really shouldn’t have been so surprised by this, but my body cringed involuntarily anyway. All of it felt sleazy and icky. I caught Hector’s eyes on me, noticing my reaction with this smug look in his eye. I glared back, cursing him with my eyes, but that only seemed to feast on his ego, until I could do nothing but turn away entirely. It was becoming habitual at this point, the whole act of looking away from his sexist ass.
I could feel Borden’s anger rolling off of him, and his hand around mine tightened. He growled orders at Graeme, and suddenly the man was standing on the other side of me, keeping me boxed in between both of them. I found it slightly ironic that Borden would be protecting me from bikers he was now depending on to keep me safe if the situation arose. I almost wanted to say something about it.
“When they’re drunk, they’re not very manageable,” Graeme suddenly told me. “But they are very friendly when you’re on their side.”
He was right. The second Hector announced to them their deal had gone through, the men were infinitely more approachable. None of them paid me any attention as they greeted Borden, and they did so very mindful of their behaviour. I felt my body loosen in relief. But Borden’s grip around my hand didn’t slacken. He seemed more charged, his jaw locked tight, his eyes hard. I think it really dawned on him what he’d just done.
He looked like a man who’d just sold his soul to the devil.
And it felt like it was all my fault.
Four
Emma
Cold.
That’s what I was.
Just…cold.
I was thankful to escape the club after a brief walk around with Borden. It was a silent ride back. I didn’t look at him as Graeme drove us to his place, but I could feel his eyes on me, burning me. I knew if I met them, I’d feel that pulsing desire I had for him, and right now it felt wrong to feel that way.
I feared him, and at the same time, my heart was heavy with need for him. I was so conflicted, mostly because I knew how wrong it was for me to care for him. Tonight was the first time I’d seen beyond the curtain of his…activities. He’d let me in, just like that, and it was so purposeful that I had to wonder what his motives were.
We rode the elevator in silence. He had his hands in his pockets, still studying me from the corner of his eye. He sensed my mood and was keeping a distance. I was grateful for it.
Then we finally made it to his place. It was luxurious. The modern penthouse he owned was fifty-two hundred square feet, with floor to ceiling windows, half a dozen bedrooms and a kitchen that at first left me breathless in its degree of elegance; it was very ying-yang with its light marble countertops and tall dark cabinets. We usually sat around the island on our barstools in the morning, chatting while I made my “feral” coffee. Then we’d move to the lounge, another area with warm colours, but still fairly clinical. I t
ried to feel at home here, and it worked for a while when I was with him, but walking into the place now, I just felt out of it.
It was nothing like my crappy little unit that took fifteen steps to walk from one corner to the other. The bathroom didn’t have my cracked shower head that spurted out water from half of the holes, leaving me huddled in one corner for a century just to have my hair soaked. I didn’t hear police sirens at night, or men brawling on the streets during the weekend, or the air brakes of a bus stopping at five in the morning, disrupting my sleep.
My life had drastically changed, and it was only tonight that I truly realized the magnitude of that.
He said something about making a phone call before disappearing into one of the rooms. I didn’t take off my jacket or even my shoes as I walked to the large windows. I looked out into the night sky, at all the stars almost entirely obscured by the clouds, and then at the river shimmering under the moonlight.