by Lynette Noni
Exhaling with relief, Jordan renewed his hold on D.C. when she slumped bonelessly in his arms, now cuddling him as opposed to choking him. Her sobs downgraded until she was softly hiccupping the last of her tears onto his now thoroughly wet Meyarin clothes.
Soon she was calm enough to draw back slightly so they were face to face. Her cheeks were streaked with red and her eyes were bloodshot and swollen beyond compare, but to Jordan’s mind, he’d never seen her more beautiful.
“Hey,” he whispered, one hand lightly cupping her face while the other continued to support her weight against him.
“Hey,” she whispered back, her voice hoarse. More tears lined her eyes but they didn’t fall, and she managed a wobbly smile as she stared straight back at him.
Another sob echoed around the bleached Ward, but this time it wasn’t from D.C. Instead, Jordan turned to see Alex gripping Bear as tightly as he held her back, fighting a renewed battle with her own tears. Her breathing was visibly harsh but she managed to get herself under control with a few deep inhalations. She then turned to the teachers and spoke in a firm voice that Jordan had rarely heard her use before.
“I know you have questions, but you’re going to have to hold off with them, just for a little while. I promised I’d explain, and I will. But we”—she indicated to Jordan, D.C. and Bear—“have a few things that need discussing first. Once we’re done, I’ll come find you and answer anything you want.”
Jordan could see they weren’t pleased, but they also didn’t fight her request. He clearly wasn’t alone in sensing something had changed in Alex. She wasn’t the same girl who had left the academy two weeks ago. She held herself differently, she spoke differently. There was a confidence about her now, an authority that had only been hinted at before.
Not giving anyone a chance to argue, Alex whispered her thanks to Fletcher and led the way back out of the Med Ward. Jordan looked questioningly at D.C., wondering if she wanted him to put her down, but she just rested her cheek against his shoulder again and continued clinging to him—if no longer painfully so.
Together the four friends walked across the grounds towards the dorm building. None of them spoke, but this time they were joined by the sounds of other students who were leaving the food court and heading briskly through the cold and back to their rooms. The atmosphere was merry, with everyone joyous after a hearty meal and time away from the academy, all of them refreshed and ready for the start of classes tomorrow morning.
By unspoken agreement, Alex—with Bear still gripping her tightly—led them up the staircase and headed not to the room she shared with D.C., but to Jordan and Bear’s room.
Coming to a stop at the bio-sensored door, Jordan felt like he was walking through a dream. The last time he’d been here, he’d been screaming from the depths of his own mind. Screaming for someone—anyone—to hear him. He’d spent three weeks before the holidays coming and going from his own room under the thrall of Aven’s command to act normal, unable to so much as write a note of warning, even knowing what trap lay ahead for his friends.
Added with the two weeks afterwards where he’d been on house arrest at Chateau Shondelle, those were the worst five weeks of his life. Even worse than when Luka had—
Jordan ripped his thoughts into line, not daring to travel down that path. Not now. Not ever again.
Bear’s bio-signature opened the door and they all tumbled into the room that suddenly seemed much too small for the four of them. Gently, ever so gently, Jordan lowered D.C. onto his bed, not sure until the last second whether she would let him go or remain clinging to him. But when he gave her a soft squeeze, she tentatively released her arms enough for him to pull away and whisper, “Be right back.”
He grabbed the first pair of jeans he could find and a warm, long-sleeved T-shirt, gesturing to the clothes and pointing to the bathroom to explain to the others without words that he was going to change from his thick, wintry gear. As he shut himself into the privacy of the ensuite, he heard Alex whisper something to Bear before the sound of the door clicking shut met his ears—presumably Alex leaving to go and change out of her own Myrox-threaded outfit.
Apprehensive about re-entering the room without Alex there as a buffer, Jordan changed slowly, wondering all the while how he might destroy the Meyarin clothes so as to never see them again. At a loss, he shoved them into the corner of the bathroom and resolved to deal with them first thing tomorrow. Maybe Fitzy would have some kind of chemical compound that would incinerate them into ash. The wacky Chemistry professor would probably get a kick out of figuring out the means to destroy the supposedly indestructible Myrox.
When he heard the outer door open and close once more and Alex’s quiet voice murmuring again, he knew he could delay no longer, so he exited the bathroom and paused on the threshold between rooms, his body lined with tension.
This time, it wasn’t D.C. who broke the spell.
It was Bear.
Having finally pushed through the shock that had held him mute, the dark-haired boy lunged forward and enveloped Jordan in a crushing hug. His grip was almost unbearably tight, but Jordan revelled in the feeling and returned the embrace just as fiercely.
Jumping up from the bed, D.C. ran to join them, as did Alex—who had indeed changed from her Meyarin gear into something more casual.
The four of them savoured the group hug for untold minutes before finally pulling away, subtly wiping under their eyes as they did so. D.C. continued holding onto Jordan, so he led her back to his bed and sat them both down with his arm curled tightly around her. Alex shuffled over and collapsed on Bear’s bed, while the dark-haired boy dragged over a chair and turned it around to straddle it backwards. Only once they were all seated did Bear look from Alex to Jordan and finally—finally— speak.
“So, who wants to tell us what the hell is going on here?”
Silence descended for a heartbeat as Alex and Jordan met eyes across the room, wordlessly debating who would speak.
It was Alex who gave in with a sigh and said, “We’re all going to need chocolate for this.”
Two
Jordan awoke covered in sweat, his heart pounding madly in his chest.
On shaking arms, he pushed up to glance over at Bear, heaving a sigh of relief upon seeing his roommate still sleeping peacefully. This was the third night in a row that Jordan had been plagued by nightmares, but the previous two nights he’d awakened screaming loud enough to be heard in Tryllin, scaring the stuffing out of Bear in the process. Jordan had always enjoyed having a roommate, especially when that roommate was someone he considered closer than a brother. But lately he’d wished for his own room, if only so that his mental demons wouldn’t cause Bear to suffer, too. Academy policy, however, meant that only apprentices had single rooms. So that meant Jordan had to get a handle on his night terrors. And soon.
He only wished he knew how, exactly, to do that.
As his trembling eased, Jordan breathed through the last of the lingering nausea that had accompanied his violent awakening. The dreams were a variation of the same every night, and even now that he was conscious, he could still hear the lingering echo of Aven’s voice whispering, “You’re mine, Jordan Sparker. Forever.”
Shuddering, Jordan shoved aside his covers and rose on wobbly legs. Just like the last two nights, he knew he wouldn’t be going back to sleep anytime soon. Rather than chase the shadows across the room until dawn, he quietly changed into warmer clothes, pausing only when Bear made a snuffle sound and rolled over. Once certain his friend was still fast asleep, Jordan tiptoed towards the door, leaving Bear to his undisturbed slumber.
Not sure of the time, all Jordan knew was that it was late. Much later than the ten o’clock curfew after which students were to remain in the dormitory building. But he was jittery from his nightmare still, and he felt the walls closing in on him as he shuffled along the hallway and down the staircase to the ground floor. Curfew or not, he needed to be outside—just like the previous two nights
, neither of which had led to him being caught and reprimanded.
If it came to it, Jordan knew he could use his gift. His ability to vanish into thin air certainly made it easier to avoid being seen. But the effort drained him, and he was already so tired from the last few nights of interrupted sleep. Plus, small as the chance of being spotted at this time might be, the risk helped him feel alive and free—even if only momentarily.
When Jordan reached the exit of the dorm building and stepped outside, the cold air was like a slap in the face. He sucked in a gasp, wrapping his heavy coat tighter, relishing in the feeling. Closing his eyes, he breathed deep into his lungs, the burning pain somehow easing the hollow ache inside him.
Reopening his eyes, Jordan stepped forward and began to make his own path through the thick snow. It was undisturbed under his feet, fresh and powdery from a brief snowstorm earlier that evening, and dense enough that it required effort and concentration to move through—all of which helped keep his attention from dwelling on the memories he’d much rather forget.
Like the past two nights, Jordan headed in the direction of the lake, only stopping when he reached the tree he and his friends often sat under in the warmer months. Uncaring about the wet snow, he lowered himself until he was seated with his back resting against the trunk, staring out at the view of the moon shining down upon the icy Lake Fee with Mount Paedris rising in the distance.
It was beautiful.
It was tranquil.
It was exactly what he needed.
But he also knew it wouldn’t last. And sure enough, a few minutes of peace were all he was given before his thoughts turned dark once more.
“You’re mine, Jordan Sparker. Forever.”
Shuddering again at the echo of the menacing voice, Jordan couldn’t help fearing that the Meyarin prince hadn’t just Claimed his will, but that Aven had stolen every facet of his being. Even after hearing Alex’s explanation to Bear and D.C. on their first night back, Jordan still couldn’t believe he was free. Three days had passed with no sign of any mental connection to the Meyarin—or to Alex. And yet, every waking moment left Jordan feeling strangled; left him fearing something had gone wrong, that he was still attached to invisible strings.
But… Jordan also realised that he was likely suffering from post-traumatic stress. What he felt was normal, he knew—at least in theory. And while Bear had tried to talk to him about it, if tentatively, during the midnight hours after the previous two nights’ screamed awakenings, the problem was, Jordan didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to share what he’d been through. What he’d witnessed. What he’d done.
Only one person seemed to understand what Jordan wanted, what he needed, even better than he himself knew. And like clockwork, a few minutes later he heard the soft crunch of boots on the frozen ground, the only sound heralding her arrival.
Without uttering a single word, D.C. curled up next to Jordan in the snow and leaned her head on his shoulder, burrowing deeper into him when he wrapped an arm around her. Together the two of them sat like that for hours, both staring out over the moonlit, icy lake, neither saying a word.
It was beautiful.
It was tranquil.
It was exactly what he needed.
With each passing minute, the ugly feeling inside Jordan began to fade, the softness of D.C. pressed against him warming the numbness in his body until he could feel again, inside and out.
Only when the sun began to hint along the horizon did the two of them stand and make their way back to the dormitory and into their separate rooms once more.
Hours may have passed, but not a single word had been shared between them. Because like Jordan, D.C. somehow understood: there were no words in any language that could heal the scarring on his soul.
Three more nights passed, two of which had Bear shaking Jordan roughly awake and making him aware of the screams that left his throat raw, and the other with Jordan waking up silently, drenched in a pool of his own sweat and trembling so hard his bones ached. All three nights led him out to the peace of the icy lake, and without fail, D.C. met him there soon after his arrival. They never spoke about their hours together—not even in the daytime when his nightmares were mere shadows pushed aside by the vitality of life.
Jordan wasn’t sure why D.C. continued to keep a lakeside vigil with him. He’d appreciated it the first few nights, but now, after almost a week, the guilt was prickling at his conscience. And not just guilt—also shame. The more time passed, the more he should be improving. But he wasn’t. It was like he was stuck in time.
D.C. never said anything. Never even looked at him like she wanted to broach the topic. In and out of class, she treated him like she always had. She rolled her eyes at his attempted jokes and acted as if she didn’t know how hard he was trying to appear like nothing had changed. She never called attention to his uncharacteristically diminished appetite, instead piling food on his plate under the guise of saying she “couldn’t possibly eat any more.” She asked for his help with her Chemistry homework, ‘forgetting’ that Bear was the one in the Epsilon class, and she even pleaded with Jordan to show her how to hit a moving target she was having trouble with in Archery. Not once did she bring up their night-time shared solitude. She was simply… there for him. Like a silent guardian angel.
And he had no idea what to do with that. Especially since he wasn’t the only one who had noticed.
“So, you and Dix,” Bear had said midway through the week after D.C. and Alex had taken off to their Equestrian Skills class, with the boys ambling along the icy path towards the Archery fields. “Are you a thing yet?”
Jordan had forced a light-hearted sound from his throat, even if all he’d felt was a weight pressing onto his chest. “A ‘thing’? What are we, twelve?”
Bear’s response had been to elbow him lightly in the ribs. “You know what I mean.” His grin stretched across his face, pure mischief in his dark eyes. “That first night you were back, I thought we’d have to get Fletcher to surgically remove you from each other.” He chuckled. “Alex’s joke about you needing a chaperone didn’t seem too far off the mark.”
Jordan thought back to the kiss he’d impulsively placed on D.C.’s temple after hearing Alex’s teasing words, thought about how he’d laughed quietly as D.C. had flushed and ducked her chin, curling into him with embarrassment. The very memory made his body feel warm. But to Bear, he shook his head swiftly, not allowing his mind to wander further down that forbidden path.
“No, we’re not a ‘thing’,” he’d answered.
Surprised silence had met his statement, his words having come out harsher than he’d intended.
Clearing his throat, Bear had jumped to the wrong conclusion and said, “Don’t worry, mate. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time.” He’d then slung a companionable arm around Jordan’s neck and finished, “I might be the charmer, but you’re not lacking your own moves. It’s clear to everyone that you two are meant for each other. She’ll come around.”
Neither at the time of their conversation nor later had Jordan corrected his friend. He hadn’t even considered doing so. Because like D.C., Bear was treating Jordan just the same as he always had—and that was exactly how Jordan wanted to keep it. He mightn’t be able to stop the screaming nightmares—yet—but he’d be damned if he revealed just how messed up in the head he was from everything that had happened.
Because the truth was, no matter how many people thought Jordan and D.C. were ‘meant for each other,’ the two of them would never be anything more than friends. Never mind the glaring differences between their stations—hell, she was the freaking Princess of Medora—but it was more than that. Whether they were seventeen or seventy, they had no future together. And he cared about her too much to hurt her when she would ultimately discover the truth: that anything, anyone Jordan had ever loved had been taken from him.
There was no way in hell that he was willing to risk D.C. becoming collateral damage to the unending tr
agedy that was his life. He’d do whatever it took to protect her, even if it meant keeping her at arm’s length.
Forever.
Late on the first Saturday night back at the academy, Jordan paced around his bedroom, worry clawing at his thoughts. Bear and D.C. were in the Rec Room working on a group assignment for History that Doc had paired them with Mel and Connor for, leaving Jordan on his own for what felt like the first time all week. Between all three of his closest friends, someone had been near his side at all times, even if he hadn’t realised it until now, when he was all alone. In the silence that surrounded him, the dark thoughts were scraping for his attention—but this time justifiably.
“Come on, Alex, where are you?” he muttered aloud, his feet still tracking a path in the carpet.
Despite knowing she was more than capable of handling herself, Jordan couldn’t help worrying about Alex. She’d taken off that morning to visit the human leaders of Tryllin to explain the Aven situation to them, after which she had planned on checking in with Kyia and Zain and the comatose Prince Roka.
While D.C. had accompanied her to Tryllin—only to be sent home early, much to her disgruntlement—Alex hadn’t wanted company for the second part of her day. She’d been firmly against it, even when Jordan had expressed his concern at breakfast about her going off alone. But she’d also promised that she’d be back in time for dinner, and that time had come and gone with no appearance by her.
Bear and D.C. hadn’t seemed worried. Apprehensive, perhaps, but they’d been quick to soothe Jordan by reminding him that Alex had a habit of appearing and disappearing on a whim. D.C., especially, knew that to be true, being Alex’s roommate. And if the princess wasn’t concerned, then Jordan knew he shouldn’t be, either.
And yet… he couldn’t help it. Because Aven was still out there, and as long as he was, Jordan was going to fear for all of his friends. Especially when they didn’t turn up when they said they would.