by Doyle, S
I didn’t want to ask Olivia if she wanted me to fly to Anchorage to see her. I didn’t want to ask her to come to Hope’s Point to see me. Both of those things seemed tricky. However, I also didn’t want to wait another two and a half weeks for her next scheduled visit.
I wanted her here now.
So what if I have never in the history of my professional career asked another engineer about a question related to a new design.
Wanting back-up to blow a well when you knew you were going to have to face down corporate, that only made sense.
This? This was weak. I’d asked her if she wanted to collaborate on some ideas I had related to the new drill design I’d started to noodle around with when we were in the cabin.
Would she know it? Would she see right through me and be frustrated I had all but called her here for nothing? Because it’s not like I was actually going to let someone have a say in my design. Sure, I respected her. I respected lots of people in my field. Didn’t mean I wanted their interference in my work.
We couldn’t even have sex. The same rules applied as before.
Cal, Angel and Daniels might suspect something, but they would never talk. To the other men at camp, this would be business as usual. Olivia was here to discuss some design changes to our drilling operation. We would probably get into a few skirmishes. That would be expected.
Nothing to see here, folks.
Was I deluding myself into thinking I wouldn’t try to sneak into her room at camp when I knew she was just down the hall from me? I’d been strong once. Could I do that again?
And what about her? What if she tried to sneak into my room?
Fuck, that would be so hot!
I could almost imagine it now. The soft knock. The turn of the door handle. A sliver of light inside my room. Then the feel of her clad in something silky sliding into my bed, along my body.
“Noah,” she would whisper into my ear.
I closed my eyes and groaned. Knowing she couldn’t stay away. Knowing she wanted me as much as I wanted her. All of that would shoot straight to my cock.
“Noah. Hello, Noah!”
I blinked away the fantasy and opened my eyes. Olivia was standing in front of me with an overnight bag over her shoulder. Doogie had already closed the plane up and was heading to his car.
That had been some fantasy. And I hadn’t even gotten to the good stuff.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” she said tucking a long, dark piece of hair behind her ear. She wore a wool cap that was pressed down a little over those ears in deference to the cold. I thought she looked adorable in those caps.
“Did you take a test yet?”
Shit. Wrong question. I could see it when it took her a second to process what I was saying then I watched her face shut down.
“I told you. It’s too soon.”
I had looked it up. There were some tests that could be done as soon as five days after unprotected sex. I was about to mention it, when she cut me off.
“Look, Noah, it either is or it isn’t. But reminder, it’s still my body. I’ll take the test when I’m ready and I will let you know the results, but you can’t keep…pressuring me about this. I’m not trying to leave you in suspense. I promise. I just need to do this on my own terms.”
“Fair enough. I didn’t mean… It’s not about me… I just…”
I wanted to know if she was carrying my kid. I wasn’t wrong to think that was profoundly important.
“I get it,” she said with soft smile.
“Come on,” I said gruffly, pissed at myself for messing this up. The point of brining her up here was to…what? I didn’t really have an answer for that. I only knew I wanted her here. She was here. That was good enough for now. “I figured we could stop and get something to eat at Bud’s before we head to camp.”
“Sounds good. I’m starving.”
I looked at her as she got into the passenger side of the truck. Did that mean something? Increased appetite? Wasn’t that a thing with pregnant women?
She rolled her eyes at me as I continued to study her. “Noah, it means I didn’t have lunch. That’s all. Can you stop overthinking?”
I scowled. “You didn’t know what I was thinking.”
“Sure, I did. All I had to do was read the little bubble over your head. If we’re going to play this your way and keep this a secret from the guys at camp, you’re going to need to be cooler.”
I started the truck and we pulled away from the runway. “I’m cool. And what do you mean my way? You have another way you would play this with the guys?”
She fidgeted in her seat. “I guess not. Tell me why you brought me here again.”
“I’m looking for suggestions. I know you’re Miss Corporate Big Wig at the office, but you’re still an engineer under all that, right?”
“I’m an engineer first, Noah.” I heard the defensiveness in her voice.
I glanced at her quickly and could see that, once again, I’d pissed her off. I sighed. “That wasn’t an accusation. You’ve got to stop thinking everything I say to you is an attack.”
She tilted her wool-capped head. “Now, how am I supposed to do that when practically everything you say to me is an attack?”
“Because I’m fucking you now, Olivia!” I fired back. “Let’s face it. The reason we were swiping at each other like angry cats is because we were in heat. I was into you the first day I saw you and I’m pretty sure it went both ways.”
She hunkered down into her seat saying nothing..
“Olivia,” I growled, forcing her to admit the truth.
“Fine. But you were also really arrogant and loud that day, too.”
“Yeah, but you were still hot for me. The problem is we both knew this—” I ran my finger in the space between us “—wasn’t going to be easy. So it was easier to be snarky with one another.”
“Some more than others,” she charged.
“Fine. I’ll own that. The point is everything is different now. I’m not your enemy anymore. I’m the guy who’s got your back. Okay?”
That shut her up. As if she had to process what I said. I got it. It was strange. We’d been combatants for so long it was hard to change course. But we’d also gone from two people not sleeping with each other to two people who could fuck like rabbits. That course had been ridiculously easy to change.
She bit her bottom lip. “So we’re still doing that? Having sex?”
I glanced at her, incredulous. “Uh, you came pretty damn hard for me over the phone, Liv. So yeah, I would say we’re still doing that.”
“I didn’t know if—” She looked away. “But nothing is going to happen at camp?”
“No,” I said firmly. “It can’t.” That was for her sake. Not mine.
“Then you really brought me up here to discuss design ideas?”
“Yes,” I snapped. Sort of. I knew I couldn’t touch her, but I could see her. I could talk to her. She wasn’t a voice on the other side of the phone. She was here in my truck and I could smell her shampoo. If I wanted to, I could reach over and take her hand.
I could see a soft smile play on her lips. “You’re really going to let me work with you?”
“Yes.”
“Have you ever done that before?”
I snorted. “Hell, no. And I’ve got no guarantees how this will work.” At least in that I was being honest. “I had the thought that another set of eyes wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. As I’ve told you before, I respect your opinion.”
“Noah?”
“What?”
“Before we get to town can you pull the truck over?”
“Why?”
“Because before we start our no-touching-in-front-of-the-guys rule, I would really, really like to kiss you.”
I smiled at that. “See, Olivia, see how reasonable I can be.”
* * *
Olivia
The truck console made it hard to maneuver but it didn’t matter how awkwardly
we were turned or how our hands had to reach out for each other. Mine were gripping his shoulders, his were in my hair tilting my head so he could kiss me deeper and harder than he had been.
Our mouths were molded to each other, his tongue was stroking mine in a slow, wet fuck. I wanted to breathe him inside me, but he was totally in control of this kiss.
Being kissed by Noah Aikens, like he wanted to consume you, was an event every woman should experience. Only not every woman was going to experience it. Just me right now because he was all mine.
“Fuck, Olivia, your mouth,” he muttered as he lifted his head only so he could look at me. See my puffy lips, determine from what angle he wanted to ravish me again.
“You can fuck my mouth if you want to,” I said brashly.
He couldn’t. Not really. We were still in his truck. Only a couple hundred feet from where the town—and I used that word loosely—started. Technically, anyone could drive by, although traffic was never really an issue in Hope’s Point.
“You have to stop,” he muttered. “I won’t be able to keep my shit together.”
That’s right. Because I made Noah lose his shit. The sense of power was nearly overwhelming. I pulled away from him and sat back demurely in the passenger seat. I realized I lost my cap as I tried to fix my hair. I started to squirm around when I saw that Noah was holding it in his hand.
I reached for it, and he snatched his hand away to keep it from me. Like it was instinctual. Like he was Lucy and he just couldn’t leave the football on the field. His lips twisted into a smile as if he realized it himself.
He dropped the hat in my lap, then started the truck and took us into town. There were a few trucks parked outside but it didn’t look nearly as crowded as a Friday night.
“That’s Jenny’s ride,” Noah said, pointing to the truck he pulled up adjacent to. “You’ll get to meet her.”
That made me slightly nervous. I believed Noah when he told me they were just friends, but I also believed he liked the idea of me thinking she was something more to him.
Which meant I was probably going to have my back up when I spoke with her, which meant she probably was going to think I was a bitch.
I didn’t want Noah’s woman friend to think I was a bitch. I was pretty sure the guys were cool with me. But now the guys had girlfriends and I wanted those women to be cool with me, too.
As a woman who worked in a predominantly male industry, sometimes I wasn’t as comfortable around women as I should have been. I knew I didn’t have enough women friends, and I knew that, because I really didn’t have any.
What if Jenny could be a friend? And Shelby and Kate? I’d also heard about Vivienne but had yet to meet her. Four women, around my age, all living in Hope’s Point.
Surely one of them had to like me.
There were still a fair number of folks inside Bud’s, especially for a weeknight. I followed Noah through a maze of tables until he stopped at one where Jenny, who I recalled from our flight together, was sitting.
She was small and blonde. I remember thinking at the time of the flight that she was the absolute opposite of me. Now I wondered if Noah had done that on purpose. Picked a date who wouldn’t remind him of me at all.
“Jenny, this is Olivia,” he said once we reached the table. “Olivia, Jenny.”
I reached my hand out to her, but she looked at it, then at me, and shook her head.
I pulled it back as casually as I could, trying not to feel mortified.
“Uh, Jenny…doesn’t like touching people she doesn’t know real well. Germaphobe thing. Don’t take offense.”
I nodded.
“Vivienne here tonight?” Noah asked even as he craned his neck looking around the bar.
“No. You have to get food and drinks yourself,” Jenny told him.
“Damn. I’ll tell you what, she’s spoiling us. I’ll be right back. Burger and fries good?”
I nodded. “No beer for me, though.”
His mouth turned into a flat line. “Right. No beer.”
Then he turned and wove through the maze of tables toward the bar.
Gingerly, I sat down and tried to think of something to say that would break the tension I now felt with this woman. Only nothing came to mind as she continued to look at me like I was a science experiment.
“You’re nervous,” she said bluntly.
“I am.”
“Why?”
She’d been blunt so I figured I might as well be, too. “Because you’re Noah’s friend and I want you to like me, only I’m afraid you already don’t.”
“Why do you care if I like you?”
Not exactly the answer I was hoping for and not a question I felt comfortable answering. I looked around and spotted him at the bar talking to Bud.
“Because he’s important to me,” I admitted. “I would ask you not to share that with him, though.”
She took a sip of her soda. “I wouldn’t do that.”
I sighed, thankful for that at least.
“You should do that,” she said after a beat.
“I should do what?”
“Tell him he’s important to you. So much you want his friends to like you.”
I snorted. Yeah, right. Me. Just hand that information over to Noah on a platter. Totally giving him the upper hand in this relationship. That wasn’t going to happen.
I shook my head. “Noah and I…well, it’s complicated.”
“Because you two make it that way. You should tell him how you feel. Ask him if he feels the same way. Then you would both know, and you could stop fighting about it.”
I blinked. Jenny said this as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Truthful and open communication.
“Don’t you understand how I could get hurt doing that?”
I asked the question as if she was being naïve. Let’s start with the fact I wasn’t even sure if Noah liked me. Wanted me, yes. Wanted to be with me outside of a bed? Until he’d invited me here on the absolutely false pretenses of working on his design—as if he would let anyone alter his work—I would have said I had no clue.
Only he did invite me here. There had to be a real reason why but the way he kept pressuring me to take the pregnancy test, as if he was petrified of the results, told its own story.
I thought about the pregnancy test in my overnight bag. I hadn’t lied to him when I said I had no intention of drawing out the suspense. I just wanted a little more time so I would feel confident in the result. Whatever it was.
Maybe I was here only for that. For him to gage and assess me. Sweet talk me into taking the test…so he could absolve himself of any responsibility toward me. Even though I’d already told him that any consequences would be mine and mine alone.
Jenny’s face soured. “I can see you thinking in your head. Weighing all the possibilities. If you asked him questions, he might answer you.”
This time I got my back up a little. “Have you ever done that? Been completely out there with your feelings with a man? Asked him straight up how he felt about you?”
She shut down on me then, and I knew I’d hurt her. Not intentionally, but the result had been the same.
“I’m sorry,” I said automatically.
“I’m not like you,” she said in lieu of an answer. “I’m different.”
Jenny’s special. Let’s leave it at that.
That’s what Noah had said about her and I could see it now. Like she had this hard, impenetrable shell around this soft, gooey center. It made me suddenly feel protective of her, and it totally made sense why Noah would call this woman a friend. He’d have her back, too. Against anyone who wanted to hurt her.
“I’m afraid,” I said softly. “A coward, I guess. I don’t want to get hurt.”
“Nobody does. Except we do, all the time. Even by people who are supposed to love us.”
We were spared any further conversation when Noah arrived at the table. A beer for him and another soda for Jenny. Burgers for me and
him and a basket of fries to share.
There wasn’t a lot of small talk. Silly things to be said just for the sake of saying them. I asked Jenny about her living arrangements and if she was nervous about the winter.
She wasn’t.
Noah asked her about her plans to set up guided tours. Apparently she was a natural outdoors woman. She said she was working on laying out trails but wouldn’t start to advertise until spring.
She asked me about Anchorage, which surprised me, but I answered everything as honestly as I could. Because I sensed that was the key to making Jenny a friend. She had to sense my authenticity.
So I hid nothing.
Only when I yawned did Noah interrupt. “It’s late. You had a long day getting up here. I better get you to camp.”
I nodded. I was about to get up from the table, when Jenny put her hand on top of mine.
“You’re okay,” she said with a shrug of her shoulders.
Not a ringing endorsement, I thought, but it still made me smile. I rested my hand on top of hers. “You’re okay, too.”
We both smiled then.
“Let’s go, woman,” Noah interjected. “Jenny, you cool getting home okay?”
She nodded. “Bud looks after me.”
That made sense, I thought. That everyone in the town would embrace Jenny as one of theirs and would look after her. Realistically, I knew she’d been here only a few months, but she felt like one of them.
A Hope’s Point local.
I led the way outside where I snuggled deeper into my winter coat. It wasn’t nearly as cold as it had been last time I was in Hope’s Point, but it was clear the winter weather was settling in for the long haul.
“You okay?” he asked as I shut the truck door. Pulling my wool hat over my ears.
“Yeah, why?”
“Wasn’t sure how you and Jenny would get along. She’s…”
“Special,” I finished for him. “You were right about that.”
He reached over and took my hand. Squeezing it, as if showing me his approval. And he only let it go once we reached the camp where, once again, we became nothing but two co-workers who could barely tolerate each other.