“Go to yer bed, Beth. Tis late.”
Breathing heavily, she moistened her dry lips with the tip of her tongue. “You said you knew.”
“Do you? Or have you buried it too deep?” When she frowned, he went on, “You canna harbor dark emotions in this house, Beth. They’ll eat you alive. Trust me, I know, and I canna stand by and watch you pretend ye’re not hurtin’ here.” He thumped a fist over his heart. “So...tell me, lass, wha’ causes you to cry in yer sleep?”
How could he know that?
There was seldom a night she didn’t awaken and find her face damp with tears.
How can he know that?
“Beth, I told you we share a link. As ma anger wi’ the Inglisses affects you, this guilt ye’re denyin’ affects me.”
It was if a bubble forced itself up from the pit of her stomach and burst from her mouth. “Her suffering was constant. There was nothing the doctors could do. Nothing...nothing offered her the slightest relief.”
The tears came faster. “I never doubted her love for me. You have to understand that.”
“I do.”
“She would never have—” Her voiced cracked but she forced herself to go on. For some reason beyond her understanding, she had to free herself of the memory’s grip. “—begged me...unless she was desperate. Desperate to...end the suffering. It...it affected her mind— Oh God! I can't do this!”
Lachlan's chest filled with pain in sympathy for her, but he could not let it show. “Then stop.”
Trembling, Beth struggled to end the war inside her. “Three times she suffered massive coronaries, and three times they brought her back. She w-wanted to d-die. Day after day....”
“Wha' happened day efter day?”
“Every time I went near her....”
“Go on, darlin'.”
As if an invisible hand plucked away her raw emotions, a fey calm befell her. Staring off into space, blinking in a mechanical manner, she evenly went on, “She begged me to help her to die. To hold a pillow over her face and end her suffering.”
“You couldna bring yerself to do it.”
Beth slowly shook her head. “I wanted to. There were times when her weeping nearly drove me insane. It invaded my dreams...everything. So consuming. I should have loved her enough to do as she asked.”
Coming to stand a short distance from her, Lachlan clasped his hands behind his back. “The eve afore she passed on, she said some hurtful thin’s to you.”
Beth looked into his handsome face. “How could you know?” Not expecting him to reply, she went on, “She said she hated my weakness. Accused me of being heartless. Her fingers...so cold, and surprisingly strong, gripped my wrist. She knew she was hurting me. The look in her eyes.... She hated me, Lachlan. When I woke up the next morning and found her dead, I was so relieved, so grateful it was over! Not for her! For me!”
Her gaze searched his face for a sign of his disgust, but his expression was guarded, even his eyes not betraying his thoughts.
“Say something,” she choked.
Something awakened in his eyes. Smoldering. Boring into her brain. Beth gulped and backed away two paces. He'd said he'd known her secret, but of course he couldn't have. Now he was repulsed by the woman she'd exposed. That side of herself she had trouble accepting.
“I love you, lass.”
His words stunned her. Straining to look deeper into his eyes, she touched the base of her throat.
“Put yer mither to rest in yer heart, and give yerself to me.”
Beth hesitated. Now she knew the intensity was in fact simmering passion. He wanted her, and that frightened and thrilled her. She hardly knew the man, yet her body tingled at the mere thought of his hands caressing her, of his mouth mastering her, taking her to those endless horizons written about in books.
But he was a stranger!
Her heart raced wildly.
The trepidation in her mind did not offset the strangling longing and desire she felt at that moment. She was thirty! Certainly she had earned the right to experiment with sex.
Did he say he loved me?
“Aye, I love you, lass,” he said in a whisper of a tone.
Her fingers kneaded the cotton skirt of her short nightgown. She wished she was wearing silk. Something soft and clingy and sensuous. She wished she was beautiful not merely benefited by a chemistry that seemed to attract him.
She'd never considered a love affair. Nor a fling. She'd always been too shy, too insecure to see herself as anything more than slightly attractive, a woman with good skin and a fair build, a woman not unlike the hordes who searched endlessly for the man of their dreams.
If she gave into her feelings tonight, allowed the raw desire within her to surface, what would the morning bring?
How could she face Carlene and David?
What would they think of her, throwing caution to the wind to satisfy a long-overdue itch to know womanhood?
No man had ever made her squirm with a mere look, nor made her skin feel afire at a mere touch. Lachlan did. And he'd freed her. It was as if an enormous weight had been lifted off her shoulders. The guilt no longer hovered at the periphery of her mind. She was free. Free to love. To live.
If she abandoned this chance....
Lachlan's impatience broke her spell of indecision. To Beth, he appeared to be but a blur as he rushed toward her. Before she could utter a single word, she was in his arms, her mouth being plundered by his own. The kiss was frightening, yet so torrid as to seize her sexuality and wash ashore her fears. His hands moved over her back and buttocks, slipped beneath her nightgown, and kneaded the rounded firmness of her backside.
Wrenching his lips away, he moaned by her ear, “Tis been so long since these hands have touched such hurdies.” To explain his meaning, his hands smoothed over the contours of her buttocks and hips. “I've waited so long for you. I canna wait no mair, Beth. I've got to feel maself inside you! Can the wooin' come later when ma brain is no' so afire wi' need o’ you?”
Breathless, her head swimming, she looked up into his wild eyes and delivered a mute answer. With a moan of joy, Lachlan swept her up into his arms and carried her to the bed, where he gently laid her down. But his hands were not so gentle as he parted her legs and knelt between them then sat back on his heels. His fiery gaze moved over every part of her while the back of his fingers caressed her inner thighs, maddeningly sensitizing her skin.
“I have a serious question to ask you, lass.”
His chest rapidly rising and falling, he let a few seconds pass before asking, “Will you respect me in the morn?”
Beth's rapturous expression cracked with a smile. She was nervous and shy, but she had never wanted anything as much as she wanted him at this moment.
Lachlan sobered as his gaze settled on Beth's concealed breasts. His hands trembling, he lifted the gown up and over her breasts, and with her help, over her head. Tossing the gown aside, he leaned to, his weight supported on his forearms to each side of her shoulders. He kissed her at first tenderly, then more demandingly until he could feel her arch and squirm beneath him. He cupped one of her breasts in a hand, trailed kisses down her face and neck, and made his way to the erect nipple within his hold.
His lips encompassed the rigid nub and gently sucked. She moaned. When the coarse texture of his tongue circled and lapped at the peak, she moaned again.
His kisses moved down her ribs and across the flat planes of her abdomen. With little effort, he ripped the sides of her panties and tossed the material away. He straightened on his knees and, staring heatedly into Beth's passion-filled eyes, began to strip out of his pants. His movements were deliberately slow, controlled to build her anticipation. It was upon him to initiate her into the wonders of lovemaking, although it had been the key that had forsaken his hopes and dreams many years ago. He was determined her first experience would further bond her to him.
Patience and gentleness.
He'd counseled himself on these qualities durin
g the agonizingly long months he'd waited for her.
Beth watched him, marveling in the majesty of his perfect body. At first glimpse of his arousal, she started to look away, but some inner instinct prompted her to stare at the instrument that was about to play the chords of her yet unfulfilled needs. She wanted to hear angels and birds, to feel the soaring upon penetration described in romance books, to know a climax under the mastery of a man like Lachlan.
His pants flung aside, she expected him to drive his rigid penis to its hilt. But he didn't. Scooting down on the bed, he lowered himself and brushed his lips and tongue along her abdomen, then slowly along her inner thighs. Spasms of tingling delight washed through her. Gripping the pillow above her head, she arched up and released a low, raspy moan.
“Lachlan, what are you doing to me?”
A devilish smile was his only response before he pressed his lips to the valley between her thighs.
“Oh...my...God,” Beth gasped, under assault by so many alien sensations that she couldn't concentrate on any one in particular. Two of Lachlan's fingers glided in and out of her body. She arched up and clenched her teeth. The sensations were maddening and frightening and powerfully wonderful, and she thought she was going to burst. Pleasure after pleasure rolled over her in endless waves—
Her climax took her unawares and a cry escaped her. Lachlan continued his ministrations, causing her to writhe and squirm in an attempt to stop the bursts of sensations before they consumed her.
“Please, stop!” She laughed tearfully. “Lachlan! Please!”
“Tis to lessen the pain of first entry, ma Beth,” Lachlan explained as he positioned himself atop her.
“How could you—”
“Know you?” he whispered, searching her flushed face in the sensuous gaslight. “Wha' dinna I know abou' you,” he said cryptically. He ran the fingertips of his right hand down her moist cheek then brought the taste of her perspiration to his lips.
A breath wheezed from Beth. Everything the man said or did was sensual.
Lachlan lightly brushed his lips over Beth's before gliding himself into her body. The pain startled her, sharp and searing, but he was quick to kiss her deeply, drawing her attention away from the discomfort and bestowing upon her the anticipation of another horizon of pleasure. She clung to him, wanting all that he could give, and refusing to let a single doubt enter her mind.
She began to move in the rhythm he set. Closing her eyes, she basked in the sheer delight of his fingers entwining with hers and anchoring her hands above her head. He kissed her again and again, intermittently nuzzling her neck, nipping one of her sensitive earlobes. The cadence of his movements never wavered until she felt his hands squeeze her own. She became aware of tension building in his magnificent body. And when he lifted his head to stare into her eyes, she read the strain he was under to prolong their lovemaking.
About to whisper to him not to wait on her, she became aware of a subtle sensation blossoming low in her abdomen. Lachlan brushed his lips across hers, smiling in his secretive way. But she concentrated on what he was doing to her body, on the twinges that rapidly began to vibrate in her, building, almost searing, almost chilling her, building and sweeping throughout her body.
Lachlan released her hands. At the instant they both began to crest the summit of physical rapture, Beth's arms wound about him, drawing him tightly against her as they shuddered in unison. His arms snaked beneath and around her, blanketing her within the embrace of his hot, perspiring skin.
Spent, content to lay entwined for some time, they reveled in the blissful aftermath of their experience. Then Lachlan languidly stretched out alongside her and drew her again into his arms. His chest serving as a pillow, she closed her eyes and snuggled closer. She sighed contentedly when he pressed his lips to her brow and murmured a “Thank you” for what she had done for him.
For him?
She wanted to tell him that if love on second sight were possible, then she had fallen victim to its spell. That kiss in the moonlight.... She had known then, deep down in her heart of hearts, they would become lovers.
“Happy birthday, Beth,” he said
“What don't you know about me?”
Several seconds passed in silence. When he spoke, there was an edge of sadness to his tone. “How long it would take a mon to win yer heart.”
Beth peered up at his jawline. She didn't know what to say. They had become lovers, but it would end in less than two weeks.
However, a little voice in her head whispered that she would never leave Scotland. Beth naturally assumed it was because she was already falling in love with the mysterious man beside her.
“Beth?”
She nuzzled her cheek against his chest.
“Did I hurt you?”
She smiled. “No. Did I hurt you?”
He chuckled. “Wore me ou’, lass, but I never felt so good or alive as I do now.”
“Lachlan?”
“Hmm?”
“Thank you.”
He chuckled again. “Thank you.”
* * *
Cold nipping at her nose stirred Beth from her sleep. Reluctant to leave the embrace of her dream, she turned onto her other side and snuggled deeper beneath the warmth of the bedcovers. But the dream was already becoming lost to her. It faded into the recesses of memory, the green hills and romantic picnic she and Lachlan had been sharing moments before dimming within a haze of dawning reality.
Moaning, she reached out to locate Lachlan. A sleepy smile danced across her mouth as she stretched the arm and slid her palm over the smoothness and warmth of the emptiness beside her. Then it occurred to her that she alone was in the bed. Cracking open her eyelids, she peered about the gray-lit room.
The heavy drapes were closed but for a slash of light where they met. It was morning. Her smile deepening, she luxuriously stretched her arms and legs then ran her fingers through her unruly hair.
The night had ended too quickly, but she would remember all it entailed for the rest of her life. Sighing contentedly, she rolled onto her back. Every muscle in her body ached.
She was about to fold her arms beneath her head when she realized that she was in her room, not the majestic bed across the hall. The smile and light in her eyes faded to a frown. The last thing she remembered was feeling his arms hold her close.
So why was she here...alone?
The empty ache in her stomach made her decide to get up. She tossed aside the top sheet and heavy quilt—and received another small start of surprise. She was wearing her nightgown, which, if she remembered correctly, she hadn't been wearing when she'd fallen asleep in Lachlan's arms.
Or had it all been a dream, some cruel wile of her imagination to placate her unease in being left alone in the mansion?
No.
Last night had not been just a vivid fantasy. She had made love with Lachlan. All the telltale aches in her body were no figment of her imagination.
But that would mean Lachlan had put her nightgown and panties on her, carried her to her room, and put her to bed without her being aware of it.
A delicate pink stain rose to her cheeks.
Wait. He had torn the panties she wore last night. Had Lachlan gone through her things and found a fresh pair to put on her?
Swinging her feet to the floor, she released a low, unsteady laugh. After last night, she couldn't believe anything could embarrass her, certainly nothing in connection with him.
Her hand flew up to her cheek. “God! I don't even know his last name!”
She slipped her feet into a pair of slippers and rushed to the cedar chest at the foot of the bed. The dampness in the room nipped at her skin. Plucking up a red and dark green plaid blanket from the several within the chest, she shook it open and swung it about her frame in one fluid motion.
And then the awareness crept up on her again.
The house was fraught with silence and stillness.
Leaving her room, Beth tried the handle to the door ac
ross the hall. Finding it locked, she walked down the long hallway to the staircase and descended to the second floor, where she knocked then looked in to see if Carlene and David had returned. The bed was empty and fully made as it had been the previous day. Beth closed the door and headed for the staircase.
The smell of coffee greeted her before she reached the ground floor. From the main hall, she went down a narrow hallway, past two closed doors, to the kitchen at the end. Opening the door, she immediately spied the bent, old woman at the stove.
“Good morning, Agnes.”
A chilling silence followed Beth's greeting. Then Agnes looked her way and gave a terse nod.
“Mornin', Missy. Just startin' yer breakfast.”
“I thought Lachlan dismissed you.”
“Changed his mind,” Agnes sniffed.
The warmth and delicious odors in the room quickly enveloped Beth. Crossing the kitchen, she brought herself to stand beside the cook. “I'm starving. It must be the air here. I eat like a bird at home.”
Pointedly refusing to look again at Beth, Agnes snorted. “Yer appetite's no' all tha's changed since you arrived.”
Beth tried to tell herself that Agnes was probably still worked-up from her confrontation with Lachlan, but she was uncomfortable receiving the brunt of the woman's churlish mood.
“Is there, ah, anything I can do to help?”
Silence followed but for the scraping and clacking of metal utensils on the pans. Beth could sense a definite air of hostility in the room. Perhaps Agnes had had another run-in with Lachlan this morning.
“Agnes, is there anything I can do to help?” Beth repeated, feeling a twinge of annoyance.
“Tis ma job, Missy—when I'm allowed to do it in peace. Won’t be long. Coffee's—”
“Excuse me, but is something wrong?”
“Leave me to ma work, Missy.”
Frowning, Beth backed up several paces. There was no mistaking it now. Agnes was upset with her.
“Have you heard anything from Carlene?”
Silence.
Beth's shoulders squared back and her tone took on an edge. “Agnes, please.”
“No' a word. But don’t worry yerself abou' her and the mister.”
Everlastin' Book 1 Page 10